ITT: times you were The Jokeman. >mom asks if I want tendies

>not The Jokester
kill urself my man

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>game tells me to take short rests every 30 minutes
>don't
LOCK ME UP
THROW AWAY THE KEY

>sign says not to walk on the grass
>walk on the grass anyways
ITS A MADHOUSE
OR SO THEY CLAIM!
ITS A MADHOUSE.
OH AM I INSANE?!

>take a fat shit
>doodoo all around my bunghole
>don't wipe

I DID MY TIME

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>>84391399
>standing in work at the counter waiting for chips to fry
>i dont serve people
>a guy comes up and sees me standing there
>he tells me he wants to refill his soda and sets his cup down
>ask him if he wants ice
>he says no, I go and get him his drink and put the lid on
>as he starts drinking it I start laughing
>he puts it down and asks me what im laughing at
>dont tell him
>he tells me to tell him what im laughing at
>tell him I put an ice cube in there

>>84392299
Take it easy there SpongeBob

>pay in exact change
>slip a few canadian pennies in with the rest of the change
>i dont live in canada

TOO TOUGH FOR HELL

>Do not exceed two bottles of 5-hour ENERGY® shots daily, consumed several hours apart
>I drink four at a time

I'VE BECOME SO NUMB!

This is actually happening right now:
>have doctor's appointment
>checked in, waiting in the waiting room
>sign says "if you've been waiting longer than 20 minutes, check with reception"
>been waiting 25 minutes
>don't check with reception
>nurse came out and told me they'd call me back in a little bit and they're running a bit behind this afternoon
>tell them that it's okay
>I actually would like to meet the doctor now and get back to work
SOMEONE GET ME A STRAIGHT JACKET

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>go on /tv/
>PARTY ROCKERS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT

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>20 years old
>take a sip of dad's beer at a barbecue
MOM'S GONNA FREAK

>>84395347
>order food at restaurant
>"Sorry we're taking so long, it's just so busy tonight"
>tell them it's ok
>it actually isn't ok
I NEED TO BE SAVED FROM THE MONSTER I'VE BECOME

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>Ask friend to use bathroom
>Say only have to do number 1
>Actually had to do number 2

>talk with mom about the last kino I saw
>use the word kino
>she doesn't understand
SSSSOMEBODY STOP ME

>>84396447
This is actually evil

>>84396447
>at work
>go to the bathroom
>go to the stall as if to take a shit
>play games on my phone
IT'S TOO LATE TO SAVE ME NOW

>4chan rules say not to shitpost
>shitpost anyway

WOW SOMEONE BAN ME QUICK!

>>84391399
he was so insane they had to cut most of his scenes

>babysitting a child
>rape it
Hahaha am I doing it right?

>go into store
>grab an armful of Milky Way bars
>walk out of store
CRAZY

>>84397070
>make a blatant low-effort shitpost which is 100% guaranteed to get (You)s every time it's posted because I felt like it
>24-hour ban
I HAVE NO MOUTH AND I MUST SCREAM
CALL THE COPS BEFORE THIS GETS OUT OF HAND
JANNIES TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE

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>see black guy approaching me on the street
>cross the road
I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD

>only brush my teeth once a day

WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN

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>can turn right on red
>don't

INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE

>Once went to a bank to open a credit account but ended up opening a savings account as well.

TWISTED MIND

>>84395606
Dang nabbit you based partyposters always get there before me

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>>84391399
>enter a store though the door marked exit
SOMEBODY STOP ME

>>84391399
>beggar asks me for change, I give him a note

TOTALLY BANANAS

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>>84397215

>receipt asks for tip, writes don't ever order the cheese cake

>invited to party at a girl's house
>go to the bathroom pretending i'm going to take a shit, but masturbate and cum on her used panties instead
I mean, that's something the Jokester would do right? He mailed Margot Robbie some used condoms, so I guess I'm just as crazy.

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>bull orders me to prep him before he fucks my wife
>make him cum

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>Husband likes Some Pulp™ Tropicano™
>Get him it With Pulp™

>>84391399
>>84391516
>not the Jokerman
kys in a fire

>>84400986
>Don't keep the fridge stocked with fresh smoked toikey and gabagool for my husband

SSSOMEBODY STOP ME

>buy something
>employee tells me to have a nice day
>i don't

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES

>>84391399
>Post in a get thread
>Get banned for a day
>Don't even realize until ban is up

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES

>go to have transmission fixed
>write "chevy" on paperwork
>it's a Dodge

TEAR AT THE SKIN
THE CRAWLING BENEATH WILL BEGIN

>>84392299
>standing in work at the counter waiting for chips to fry
What kind of shithole makes chips themselves instead just buying premade Lay's chips?

>>84402642
Not him but, place in central Ohio, Flyers Pizza. Bomb ass chips made to order.

>>84402642
Chips as in fries, you mong

>>84391516

>not the humordude

Wow

>pretend to be shitposting ironically
>am actually just shitposting

>>84391399
>someone asks me how I'm doing
>"I'm good"
>I'm actually depressed

I PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY

holy shit

jared

leto

is a fuCKING MAD MAN !!!!!!!!

JESUS CHRIST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>take a greasy poop in McDonald's bathroom
>>Don't wash my hand
I AM THE MAN WHO LAUGHS!!!

>>84391399
I love how Leto's Joker was completely forgotten by non-memers right after Suicide Squad left theaters. Leto spent months acting like an edgelord faggot and all of that attention whoring ultimately didn't pay off.

>patient was on fluid restriction of 1200ml
>kept giving him 750ml cups of water and telling him they were only 250ml
>he dies of congestive heart failure later that night

DESPITE ALL MY RAGE I AM STILL JUST A RAT IN A CAGE

>go to a "times you acted like El Cagado" thread
>expected to post a silly non-offense
>post a real, serious crime instead
I STARTED A JOKE

>>84391399
>listening to hybrid theory on repeat like I do every morning
>mom tells me to turn it down and that my egos are ready
>wait till she leaves the room and turn the volume up even louder

IM ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE

AND IM ABOUT TO BREAK

>>84400984
kek

>>84397215
The post or the child?

>>84391399
Jared Leto is literally insane and needs to be committed into an insane asylum for the public's as well as his own safety.

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>Get a call asking where I am
>"I'm almost there, maybe five minutes"
>Haven't even showered yet and I need to put gas in the car before I go

>order food for delivery
>"That'll be $19.99"
>hand him a 20 and tell him to keep the change
SOMEBODY STOP ME

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>>84400984