Can we get a terrible, awkward and annoying theater experience

Wellp, I know I'd had to share this story someday...

>Be me
>2nd year of High School
>I had been on a few relationships, but not even I knew how
>Really not good at flirting
>Never been to dates with girls I was just meeting
>Join drama club with classmate who is my best friend
>Have great times with the people there
>Most of them are students from 2nd year as well
>Me and classmate start hitting it off with two girls
>Agree on a double date to the cinema
>Go on to watch Furious Five (yeah, this was a long time ago)
>My friends sits next to his date, and I next to mine
>20 minutes into the movie I notice my friend is holding hands with date
>He is ready to get 1st base
>Maybe I should try too
>Hold hands with date
>She holds my hand like if she was expecting me to do it
>ohshitthisisit.bmp
>Not really sure what to do next
>Definitely not ready to kiss her
>Suddenly all goes to blank in my mind
>Lick her hand
-WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO
>She freaks out
>I try to explain her that it wasn't a big of a deal and apologize
>She leaves the room
>I freak out
>Go out looking for her
>She's in the bathroom, probably washing
>Comes back to the room, so do I
>She sits a few rows behind us
>She doesn't talk about this with anyone
>Neither do I until today

Well, at least her hand was pretty tasty.

>>84321942
holy kek

>Live in Norway
>Going to the Cinema is treated as an "event" and most people will dress and act somewhat nice
>Everyone is quiet during the film
>No one talks to each other
>Teenagers are quiet
>Kids are quiet
>The most noise you'll hear is if a parent occasionally have to explain something to their kid, and even that isn't loud

i honestly don't know what the fuck is wrong with american cinema culture, i mean how the hell don't you people know how to act during a film. What i did notice while i was there though is that going to the cinema is super casual , like you just strool into a shooping mall cinema and people will be there with their babies, kids are playing angry birds on their phone, someone is having a full conversation behind you, no respect for the art of film.

File: 1489270509518.png (67KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 300x300px

>go see movie
>some guy keeps wheezing all the time
>he also laughs at completely random shit in the movie
>people eventually start whispering about the guy
>somebody says just a little bit too loud "man who is that retard?"
>movie ends
>it actually was a retard

why would you take a retard to the cinema? they don't even understand what's going on

File: 1498414457407.png (163KB, 382x452px) Image search: [Google]

163KB, 382x452px

>be me
>double date with gf, her friend and her friends bf
>they sit a row ahead of us
>her friend looks back sees me getting my dick
sucked
>tells bf
>he proceeds to look back every so often and watch
>mfw

>why would you take a retard to the cinema?

As if that's not the exact demographic of most modern movies.

>>84322020
Dude

>>84322388
American theaters aren't too bad, the only thing that honestly annoys me is how they do the airhorn effect every quarter of the movie to let you know how much time has passed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFr74zI1LBM

>>84322569
same reason we don't throw them down the well once it's apparent they're retarded. i don't really know that reason.

>>84322020
alpha as fuck man, just needed more confidence after the lick

>>84322940
you casual, thats how you know how to properly space out your snack breaks to not get an upset tummy from too many hot dogs

>guy next to me eating popcorn
>finishes his popcorn
>proceeds to suck his teeth the remainder of the film

>>84322796
>>84322020
>be me

oh really? Who else would you be?

I once pissed in the theater haha

>>84323930
A faggot named (you)

>>84323930

very clever anon

upvote

>>84323930
It's a reddit callsign. All redditors do the ">be me" shit.

>>84322796
>be me
>>>/reddit/

>go to dark knight opening in grade 12 or something
>smoke a fat blunt
>go inside. literally 5 lines of people stationed around theatre to get in.
> we randomly notice one line is being let in
>start walking with the line
>nerdy movie fanatics in other lines notice what we did and start yelling and heckling us
>iam really embarssed and just want to watch batman high AF
>no employees notice or care
>cutting in line feels good man

File: tv.png (46KB, 1237x541px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 1237x541px

>>84321942

One time I kicked over my empty 40 oz bottle and it rolled loudly for like ten rows.

I used to sit all the way back in the theater and yell "noodles" every 5 minutes in a high pitched voice

>>84324418
That bean boy kid grew up I guess

>>84324370

sick

>>84324230

Horseshit clearly, but that is a nice lady.

thread full of normalfags

>>84324418
>"Don't. Mock. My. Food."
Kek every time

>>84324370
this is supposed to be about bad experiences m8 not peak ones

File: 4949573747733.jpg (378KB, 2000x1000px) Image search: [Google]

378KB, 2000x1000px

This is one of my dearest memories.

>Summer vacation
>Hanging out with cousin
>We're like 12 years old or some shit
>We rarely meet but when we do we always get into stupid shit
>We decide to go watch a movie
>It's the middle of the day
>There are maybe 10 people in the theater scattered around
>Movie is pretty funny
>For a couple autistic kids at least
>Suddenly I have to pee
>I don't want to leave the movie and miss something
>My cousin chugs his soda and gives me the bottle
>I sneakily make my way to the back of the theater
>Squeeze my tiny little chode into the opening of the bottle
>Start pissing
>smells like absolute asparagus
>Why was I born with such a refined palate?
>The bottle starts to fill
>This creates some sort of reverse vaccum
>My tiny prepubescent little shrimp dick is exploding out of the bottle and I'm getting piss everywhere
>Smelly asparagus piss
>This is insane
>You can hear my cock-pops echo throughout the mostly empty theater
>The bottle is also overflowing at this point
>How can this tiny penor hold this much piss
>I freak out and drop the bottle
>It starts rolling down the rows
>Finally it stops
>Huge piss puddle starts appearing on the floor in front of the first row
>2 teenage grills are there
>She lifts up her bag and screams
>They try to move away
>She slips in the piss like a deer on the ice
>My cousin is 6 rows in front of me
>He's giving me the "wtf are you doing nigger" look
>As my eyes shift from him to everyone else in the theater I can tell that every one of them is looking right at me
>I bolt like my name was Usain
>My cousin chasing after me
>Laughing like a faggot
>Laughing hard gives him nosebleeds
>To the unknowing eye I'm a horrified child who has pissed himself in fear because he's being chased by a crazed, laughing maniac with blood erupting from his face like a fountain
>We escape into the woods leaving a trail of piss, blood and confusion.

I love hanging out with my cousin.

>>84324370
LOL so randum xDDD

>>84326673
t. Triggered rice boy

File: file.png (2MB, 1400x2100px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1400x2100px

>go to see pic related with a few friends opening night
>theater is packed
>like, serious jammed, maybe five seats left open by the time the movie's starting
>guy behind me is talking to his girlfriend constantly through the opening minutes
>tired and irritable because i've been up for about 30 hours
>turn around and loudly tell him to shut the fuck up
>he gets pissy and says "how about you shut up fag" but stops talking after that
>immediately fall asleep for the rest of the movie, apparently snoring loudly
>later, guy who was talking follows me out of the theater in his car
>it's after 2am
>literally tries to run me off the road

i still wish i'd gotten his plate number

File: 1395688761991.png (14KB, 646x720px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 646x720px

>get some needle nose pliars
>break the chains on all the poop scissors in the cinema bathroom and steal them
>come back a couple hours later after the film
>see shit leaking into the hallway because the toilets can't handle people's monster turds

>>84324230

Updated movies from an older copypasta, still sad though even though it's likely false.

File: 1498456073396.gif (476KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]

476KB, 500x375px

>go see horrible bosses 2 with friends
>all shitfaced
>drinking bottle openly in first row
>not paying attention
>yelling and making jokes the whole time
>leave 45 minutes in
>mfw everyone angrily watches us leave

>go see dead pool with friends on opening night
>knew the theater would be full so made sure to reserve the best seats a week in advance
>eat at fast food joint before hand like usual
>literally 5 fedora wearing nerds at one booth talking loud as fuck about how hype this is gonna be
>whatever thats to be expected
>go to movie theater and find our seats
>just below us is a group of 5 guys all skinny fat reddit types
>not 1 minute into the movie the alpha redditor fuck starts shouting out the intro jokes to his friends explaining them for no reason
>starts singing along to shoop waving his hand around like a retard thinking he's hot shit
>repeats everything colossus says in his funny russian accent
>laughs extra hard at everything to make sure people around him understands that he understands the jokes
>is still explaining everything to his friends for no reason
>is loudly commenting on the movies plot praising it
>everyone around him is visible hating his behavior
i can understand being excited for a movie but i will never understand this kind of behavior

>>84327242
Go away, it isn't funny. This is a thread for people that actually go outside

File: 1415670247828.png (89KB, 210x339px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 210x339px

>Batman v Superman
>Had to sit in the front row because I forgot my glasses like a dipshit
>A family/friend gathering in front of me
>Most of them are little children
>Movie has an ISIS killing at the beginning of it
>Batman taking out sex slavers
>Lois Lane in a bathtub with a shirtless Superman
>Pretty much made the movie a lot more awkward than it already is

>>84322940
really wish they would just stop doing all the stupid games and contests they make people in the audience play during "halftime"

>>84322388
>dressing up to go to the movies
Autism: the country

>>84326458
>We escape into the woods leaving a trail of piss, blood and confusion.
Fucking kek

File: 1498096306285.jpg (46KB, 500x372px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 500x372px

>>84324161
>>84323930
t. mad virgins who have never seen a movie with a girl

I always get second-hand embarrassment at the entrance from seeing the few hands in the air asking for help in the manlet pit, they will probably never learn.

>>84326458

Yea this is 11/10

Certain things are so funny I go back to 0 and cant laugh, like a girl slipped into piss.

Oh my fucking god

>>84327967
>>>/r/eddit/ :^)

>>84328004
>>84327637

>>84324418
Fake and gay
>>84326047
Kys

File: 1496168889726.jpg (57KB, 500x492px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 500x492px

>>84328087
>telling other to go to reddit

>>84328163
>>>/r/eddit

File: 1450463903823.jpg (42KB, 427x448px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 427x448px

>terror Tuesday at the kinotorium
>get to theater
>screen has been replaced by a mirror
>mfw

File: ar119189411741775.jpg (66KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 640x480px

>used to sell weed/Xanax and Rob competition in high school
>Back then pic related was the hang out spot
>Go with a group of 3 cuties and a couple boys one Friday night
>I think inglorious bastards or district 9 was what we were gonna watch
>When we get there we see a couple of our friends also we're at the movies and we combine out groups
>Like 4 minutes later ANOTHER group of kids we know from another school shows up and we combine groups again
>At this point it's like 17 of us chillen waiting for the later movie times
>I'm doing my hustling getting a couple bars off
>And we see yet another group of kids from another high school
>Ohshit
>One kid that was there I had robbed a few days earlier at BBgunpoint
> He sees me and immediately starts causing a scene
>AYE PUSSY NIGGA WHAT NOW NIGGA WHATS GOOD FAGGOT I BET YOU WONT GIVE ME THE ONE ON ONE
>called out in front of everyone, I decide to give him the one on one
>Everyone starts walking toward the back of Lowe's that is in that plaza
>Circle gets formed
>He decides to take off his shirt
>As he's taking off his shirt I pounce on him and knock his ass out
>His friends get pissed and rush in to try to jump me
>My friends and the other folks from the other other high school jump in too
>There's like 10 of us fighting and like 20 girls just watching and recording at this point
>Get thrown to the floor and all of a sudden I hear "SHIT COPS"
>get up as fast as I can but I'm fucked up from the body slam and get arrested immediately
>Had like 20 xanax bars on me
>Arrested for battery, resisting arrest and possession with intent
>Get charged as an adult
>Spend 8 months in Juvie and probation until I was 21.

And that's how I became a felon at 15.

>>84328379
What ethnicity are you?

>>84328524
White

File: 1388159688892.jpg (85KB, 817x671px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 817x671px

>>84328379

>>84328590
Still a nigger

>>84324119
>t. person who has never heard of greentext stories

>>84328897
if you are from 9gag, le faggot

>>84329072
>t. newfag

>>84329308
:^)

>Ask girl to movie
>Choose Hotel Transylvania because figure no one would be there
>Opposite happens
>Theater swarming with kids and families
>Realize we're the only people older than 12 and younger than 40
>Sit there awkardly for the next 2 hours while she wonders what a retarded man child I am

Still fucked her, tho.

>wonder woman
>the part at the end where Diana is looking at the picture of her dead boyfriend and she's all sad
>black guy says in a high pitched voices "Steve Noooooo!"
>whole theater laughs for like 20 seconds

>>84330316
black people are the best.

>>84326458
Top kek

>>84327226
Niggers amirite? Surely he could see people are trying to sleep through that snorefest of a movie.

File: 1368145728431.png (151KB, 576x432px) Image search: [Google]

151KB, 576x432px

>>84322569
>Go see Edge of Tommorow with gf and visiting family
>Already saw the kino with my roommate, but liked it enough to watch it with my family
>excited as fuck, because they never go out to the movies
>get there 20 mins early, perfect seating right in the middle
>half way into the previews, I hear "where do you wanna sit? Let's do the front"
>2 20-somethings push an invalid in a blinking, flashing clusterfuck of a medical chair
>because the movie was on it's way out, it was in a smaller theater with the aisle in the middle
>they park this fucking faggot RIGHT next to me, despite there actually being a spot for wheelchairs in the back
>giant blue light in my face, and the fucking thing is actually loudly breathing for him. Like darth fucking vader
>I start visibly shaking, this tard is about to ruin kino for my family
>try to calm down as the movie plays, used to the vader breathing, but the blue light is still distracting to fuck
>right before the 3rd act starts, wrangler flips a switch on his chair and a LOUD AS FUCK VACUUM SOUND STARTS WHIRRING FOR THE NEXT TEN FUCKING MINUTES
>AND I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE HE'S A RETARD
>gf is incredibly pissed at me getting pissed
>we have a long argument on the ride home on the morals of retards being selfish, their handlers being irresponsible, who I should've directed my anger at, eventually ending in my going full 14/88 for eugenics

>>84328590
hot

>>84327601
It's what happens when you live for upboats

>>84330882
No hatefuck after, while you whisper in her ear you want to kill all the jews?

>>84330882
>catched

>>84328379
You should've really been killed.

>>84330882
There is literally nothing wrong with eugenics, it's objectively the moral thing to do.

>go to movies by myself because I can
>ask ticket bitch for my ticket "ticket for one for La La Land!"
>ticket bitch says "for ONE? what's it like going to the movies alone?"
>I say "Yes, for one. what's it like earning 9 dollars an hour?" laugh in ticket bitch's face and walk away
>walk up to stub ripper...say "IS THIS YOUR WHOLE JOB? YOUR PARENTS MUST BE SO PROUD LOL" rip my own stub because I'm not an idiot
>enter eatery, walk up to servant: "what will you have?" she asks, "it's okay! I brought my own!" I say while showing her the contents of my backpack with cola and homemade popcorn inside
>turn to those behind me and say "ENJOY PAYING THREE BUCKS FOR COLA, MORONS"
>make my way to cinema doors...notice lots of couples
>"WHAT IS THIS? MAKE OUT HOUR? THIS IS A MOVIE MORONS, NOT A FUCKING LOVE IN, GTFO"
>laugh at them as they leave in embarrassment
>cinema all to myself, put my feet up and throw popcorn at my face because that's how I eat it

File: Epiklul.jpg (95KB, 1200x675px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 1200x675px

>>84330316
Oh boy that reminds me

>Watching horror movie
>Theater is packed
>Some lady in the movie gets her head bashed in with a fire extinguisher
>People scream then go silent
>Fedora wearing spaghetti man tries to be clever
>"sure put her out like a fire "
>Complete silence for 10 seconds
>Some guy says loudly "You fucking suck bro"
>Theater erupts into laughter
>Fedoraman runs for the exit
>Trying to pull the door open but it's stuck
>Same guy again "It says push bro"
>Gets out and disappears

Pretty sure he killed himself after finishing his hotpockets that night.

>>84331211
good pasta

>>84328379
>get charged as an adult because LOL FUCK IT WHY NOT

America, ladies and gentlemen

>>84323930
Someone's jelly

File: IMG_0080.gif (3MB, 700x285px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 700x285px

>>84331225
Nice

>see Logan
>old couple next to me(probably early 60s)
>little girl gets harpooned
>old Lady loudly gasps and spends next ten minutes holding her face visibly shook

Not a bad experience or anything, just thought it was funny and want this thread to continue

>>84331211
>this is a movie morons, not a fucking love in
every time

>>84330767
it was a white guy

i live in a 90% white state

>>84328897
Please tell me you're fucking joking

I went to see La La Land with my gf but there weren't enough seats to sit together so I ended up sat next to these two other girls while she sat by te front on the balcony. It was all fine but I don't think they knew I wasn't there on my own. We both had our hands on the armrest and it was all awkward but fairly manageable until it got to the bit where they hold hands. The girl next to me physically recoiled and sat with her hands on her lap for the whole rest of the movie.

Jokes on her though I thought that scene was predictable and a shallow attempt at inspiring romantic feeling in lieu of proper character development.

File: 1474259030758.jpg (69KB, 600x828px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 600x828px

the only really memorable theater experience ive had was when i went to see project x with a group of like 10 friends and the theater was completely packed, like actually at 100% capacity of only high school kids. think this was my senior year of high school, it was the closest thing ive ever experienced to those youtube videos of indian people going nuts at the cinema.

honestly it was the only thing that made that dumb ass movie bearable, especially when the main character walks out instead of fucking the hot ass pacific islander bitch and almost every single person in the theater immediately started yelling angrily/booing and some guy screamed "faggot!" like four times at max volume and got kicked out.

sorry for being too lazy to format this into a greentext, whatever

>>84331722
>Jokes on her though I thought that scene was predictable and a shallow attempt at inspiring romantic feeling in lieu of proper character development.
kek

autism wins again

you're right though

>>84331722
>Jokes on her though I thought that scene was predictable and a shallow attempt at inspiring romantic feeling in lieu of proper character development.
AND you got the armrest.

>be 13
>watching polar express in 3d with friends
>3d scene happens where the main boy's face is inches in front of us
>say out loud "he's so close I could kiss him"
>whole theater laughs

n-no homo

>>84324418
> not acknowledging that it's weird to eat green beans in a movie theater
> not saying "yeah, you want some," and making them crack up

>>84331538
>Go to see District 9
>Theater is almost empty, aside from me and my friends the only people there are two old ladies
>Looking at them they must've been over 70, possibly even in their 80's
>Glance at them when the Nigerian mob boss gets shot with the alien gun that makes his head explode
>One of them is giggling

File: 1498146793227.jpg (19KB, 495x362px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 495x362px

When I go to see some new Marvel flick there's ALWAYS some faggot with a beer in a front row who's at some point of the movie starts saying some idiotic stuff and EVERYONE laughs.

>>84322388
Niggers

They hoot and holler and then people think it must be ok to act like that. So you get a bunch of niggardly behaviour

>>84332378
It's funny because niggardly doesn't mean what you wanted to mean.

>>84322388
wow norway, youre so sophisticated and cool. ill be sure to wear a full tuxedo when i take my little brother to the emoji movie. i have to respect the art of film and all.

>>84322940
i hate how i can hear the unsold popcorn auction going on in the theatre next to me through the walls. you think that they would be a little less loud.

>>84324216
>you were an asshole when you were a teen

and why should we care?

>>84324230
my mom died. this makes me feel ways i dont want to feel ever again.

File: unimpressed.gif (2MB, 350x197px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 350x197px

>Girl in my class asks me out
>Super excited because why the fuck am I getting attention
>She tells me to pick her up at 445
>Tells me our date is going to be a surprise
>Surprise it's a movie
>We drive to the theater
>She had no plans for the movie and the nearest one starts at 7
>I buy both tickets for Kingsman because I'm trying to impress despite her obvious horrible planning
>We wander around the mall for two hours
>She keeps hinting that I should buy her clothes saying shit like "Oh I'd look so cute for you in this, but I can't afford it"
>After a while blatantly say "I'm not buying you a $75 outfit on a first date"
>Date now noticeably awkward, we get food at food court. I buy again but she at least made a point to pretend to have forgotten her wallet
>7 finally rolls around
>We go to the theater and she asks "can we get food?"
>I say "Yes but not much please"
>I order a small soda and a box of candy
>She orders a large Mountain Dew and a large popcorn
>$25. In total I've spent about $80
>We sit down, hold hands and watch
>She fucking falls asleep during the previews
>Don't even wake her up until the end
>Wake her up and drive her home
>She offers to show me a side road we can fool around in my car on because her family is home
>Figure I can at least salvage sex
>We kiss but she won't even let me touch her shoulder or leg because that's too fast apparently
>Don't call her again
>A week later she corners me at school and asks what she did wrong while crying

>>84324418
>Don't. Mock. My. Food.

>>84322940
>>84323776
>>84327796
>>84332520
I can't stop fucking laughing

>>84331225
What kid with a gay ass fedora bullied you at a party my man lol

>>84332443
kek

>>84332647
She seems cute

File: 1494193831292.jpg (193KB, 439x656px) Image search: [Google]

193KB, 439x656px

>>84324230
I sincerely hope this is fake

>>84332647
did you slap a bitch

>Kid couldn't blow his nose and kept making sniffing noises the entire time
>A different kid kept asking stupid questions the entire movie
>Another kid fell asleep and snored through the entire climax. Dumbass parent wouldn't wake him up.

I fucking hate kids

>>84328379
Pembroke pines here. Used to hang at this theater all the time

>>84324119
Your do realize that they got that from here right?

>>84328379
bix nood

>>84328379
>>84332801
If anyone is wondering its all niggers and spics here made life a living hell for a white guy like me.

File: mmmm.gif (2MB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 320x240px

>>84328379
I, too used to sell drugs and hang out in giant crowds of minors outside of the local movie theater when I was 15

>>84332850
Did you vote Trump?

>>84332887
>implying the angsty teen is old enough to vote

>>84321942
>exposing yourself to the general public
>ever

Seriously though, what the fuck are some kids going to do to you? Rape your girlfriend and torture you to death?

>>84332846
Another anon here, >be me has been used on 4chan since at least 2011, I don't know where all this "Reddit" insult shit is originating from but it's fucking annoying and anyone who uses it that way, even ironically, is trash

>>84322388
>Going to the Cinema is treated as an "event" and most people will dress and act somewhat nice
typical whiteys

>>84332961
This is the US we're talking about, it could easily happen.

>>84332969
The same blebbitors come here and unironically use the word "edgy" it may as well be their leddit username sigged in their posts.

>>84332960
>implying you know whats like to live in this shithole of South FL
>>84332887
Fuck yeah i did

>>84321942
>go see The Force Awakens
>nigger family behind me talks through entire movie
>movie was shit anyway

whatever my ex paid for the tix, dumb bitch

>>84333101
Kek yeah, I do. It's filled with edgy racists like you.

>>84333121
Man you really are a faggot.

>>84332566
Sorry anon.

File: 4949353858.jpg (80KB, 1333x900px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 1333x900px

>>84332647
I'm convinced women are actual fucking retards

>Having a very chill day
>Warm and sunny
>Listening to music and drinking lemonade on my porch
>Girl calls me
>Wants to hang out
>I'm already having a super comfy day though
>She suggests we go on a hike
>She knows I love walking around in nature
>Figure I'd have just as much fun doing that
>We get there and start walking
>Realize she's wearing the worst possible shoes for this
>Starts complaining 15 minutes in
>It's too warm
>It's too long
>I got other stuff to do
>I'm tired
>Bitch this was your idea I already had a good time on my porch
>Walk 2 hours trying not to show how angry I'm getting
>"I think you should buy me a soda after making me walk that far" she says
>Thinking she's cute
>This cheeky bitch
>Leave in anger
>Get home
>Check facebook
>"Wow you were in a bad mood today"
>Rage so hard I almost grind my teeth into dust

>>84324230
At least she didn't have to see Covenant

>>84331211
>throw popcorn at my face because thats how i eat it
kek

>>84331289
>get charged as an adult because commuting adult crime

Stop breaking the law and you wont get arrested nigger.

>>84333212
Is she at least attractive?

>>84333121
>b-bernie can still win, r-right?

>>84333362
Yea, I used to have an insane infatuation with her, but then I realized her personality is so fucking shit when I got to know her for real,that I honestly just go around hating her in secret at this point.

>>84333101
>mfw grew up in West Palm Beach and you're just a faggot

>>84333484
Been there.

>Film Library, last session.
>Is free with an unemployed or welfare card.
>Therefore is common to see hobos and retards there.
>Very, very cold winter.
>There're at least 30 hobos inside eating and drinking. It smells like shit, piss, wine, food, sweat and wet dogs.
>Because there's a fucking dog there too.
>But I have paid to watch the movie so I look for a seat below a heating unit so the air pushes the smell far from me.
>"ok I can handle it".
>The movie was "Suspicion", by Hitchcock. It keeps them entertained and surprisingly civic.
>Movie ends and I walk as fast as I can towards the exit.
>It's fucking closed.
>I turn to the exit directly to the exterior and I see several men blocking the door arguing with someone on the other side.
>Someone taps me in the shoulder, is a old man asking for cigarettes and other asking for money.
>The guys in the door start to struggle with someone and violently pull the door to keep it closed.
>They want to pass the night here.
>Start to panic. I look around and see an old couple fucking terrified.
>Lights go off.
>Full panic, there's only the emergency lights and I can't see shit.
>Lighters and a gas lamp go on. In a theater full of wood and synthetic fiber.
>The old woman starts crying.
>I call the police, they already know and someone is coming.
>Meanwhile they invite us to wine and eggs from a tupper.
>The police comes and offers to transport them in their car to the shelter so they don't have to walk at night.
>Meanwhile is so fucking late that I have missed the last bus so I have to walk for 1 and a half hours at -16ºC to get to my home.
>I think I'm going to fucking die in the street, and I don't have enough money to call a taxi. Thankfully I find a karaoke in the middle of the journey and the guy at the door allows me to get warm for some minutes
>shivering, goose bumps...
>Next day: chilblains in hands and feet, mouth sores, frostbite in ears, nose and cheeks...

I only come to these threads to see if a post has a lot of replies. If one does, I get all excited.

File: 149345036.jpg (84KB, 700x714px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 700x714px

>>84333212
I'd go hiking in proper shoes with you, anon.

>>84333723
love you bud

>>84321942
tbfh nothing
only this

>watching hobbit: part 1 with me mates
>boring movie nothing happens
>six our pass, we finally get to rivendell
>see elrond for the first time
>he prepares to say something
>my buddy next to me shouts "Mr Anderson" with exact voice
>literally the entire crowd starts laughing
>we wuz cool n' shit

>>84333856
America was a mistake

>>84333629
Holy shit dude, sounds like a short horror film

>Go to recent Thomas The Tank Engine movie (they show them in theatres for a session or two here)
>Mom there with kid
>Kid is fine
>Mom is playing on her smartphone
>Constant block of light in the corner of my eye
>Too autistic to say anything to her or summon an usher

Fuck you lady, they tell you to turn your cellphone off, you turn your goddamn cellphone off.

>literally just got from seeing PoC 5
>lonely sandnigger comes in after movie starts
>sits down 1 seat away from me
>constantly moving lips looking at his phone
>has his earplugs in whole movie

I moved my friends and me a whole row back so i could have an eye on this weird fuck. He kept licking some paper and kept his hat on the whole movie. This is in the Islamic Republic of Britistan btw I did not want to get allahu ackbard

>Seeing Pokémon movie again because hype
>Ash turns to stone
>Kid starts sobbing so loudly I could hear him from the other side of the theatre
>Parents don't do anything about it

>>84334322
Literally have this fear every time I'm in a theater. Constantly scanning the area for Ahmeds.

>>84331369
Yes I'm very jelly I didn't lick someone's hand like a sperg in a public setting.

Brb gonna go neck myself

>>84333629
thefuck

>>84334505
Im not even kidding i had my belt out and ready to strangle that Sandraider. Its a sad state of affairs

Maybe i really should move to the US atleast there i could have a ccw

>be me
>art class
>get real close with a 9/10 girl
>there's incredible chemistry going around - literally everything we say makes us laugh
>some other day she mentions the artist is in cinema
>knows im a movie buff
>i say i was planning on seeing it, apparently it was good
>i suggest we should see it together
>she immediately agrees and we set up a date
>even says her sister and sister's boyfriend will join us
>promising.jpg
>go to the theatre on the day we were supposed to meet
>sends me a message she won't be able to come
>literally never talks to me again
what the fuck did i do?

>>84334772
Cheated on her in one of her dreams. Women are like that. If you do something in their head you'll do it in real life.

>>84334772
Don't go for 9/10's. They are shit on the inside. Find yourself a shy girl who has no problem sitting though a movie in silence.

>>84334772
also, i was forced to watch the artist alone

>>84334772
If this is recent, hit on a less attractive friend of hers to ruin her self esteem.

>>84332801
What school did you go to senpai?
I went to Everglades and Dolphin Park

>>84327830
>>84332443
it's not like you put on a full suit you fucking inbreeds, but yeah people for the most dress 'smart - casual', unlike sitting there in you fucking 2 dollar sweatpants and sneakers like 'muricans do.

>>84335046
Nigga I go to the movies in a drive in movie theater I wear whatever the fuck I want suck my dick bitch

>>84324230
what kind of retard buys a ticket, leaves, and buys another ticket?

you can just say you left to buy something and walk in

actually in most theaters you don't even need to buy a ticket, just grab some refill soda in the trash, refill it, buy some popcorn and walk in

>>84334772
>literally never talks to me again
So it happened like a week ago? Don't talk to her unless she talks to you first, same with texts.

>go to cinema with my mom
>cinema is full of people younger than me
>sit in front of group of black males
>film starts and can hear them giggling
>one farts loudly, another keeps whispering "world star!" loudly and they all giggle
>halfway through film they're laughing
>can hear little trumpet farts but they're loud so I turn around, smells like sweet wet shit
>one of them has their ass in between the gap of my mom and mine seats
>sit down not able to do anything against 5 black males
>just endure
>mom doesn't notice anything anyway
>walking out of cinema they put popcorn and straw wrapper in her hair

>>84334183
Honestly why did you go see that movie

>>84321942
>2015, some capeshit movie
>High af
>Approach cutie at concessions, wanted to order large popcorn
>"Hi, may I please get a large pineapple?"
>She instinctively reached for popcorn when the P sound started coming out of my mouth, then stopped and did a double take
>"A large WHAT?"
>"Haha, I meant popcorn"
>hueahuea.wav
>Didn't fuck her afterwards

>>84335521
Fuck me something extremely similar happened to
my friend and I a few months ago. I'm never sitting near black people in a theatre ever again. It's always a mistake.

>>84335521
BLACKED

>Be 9 or 10.
>Go watch movies with mom.
>Some teenagers are generally being shitty, yelling out fake spoilers to annoy people.
>It's a remake or a book adaptation, either way I already know how the story goes and that they're lying.
>They're seated behind me and hear me say they're lying.
>Keep picking on me for the rest of the movie, throwing popcorn at me and making noises.
>Mom doesn't notice.
>Suddenly feel something hard hit the back of my head.
>It's a fucking tiny rock they threw.
>For some reason I'm too intimidated to tell mom, instead just ask to switch seats for some bullshit reason like "the air conditioner is too cold on this spot".
>Manage to watch the rest of the movie in peace.

>>84322388
>niggers
>teens dropped off by a parent

>Be me, 32, filthy rich loner
>Rent out a seat in the center of the theater for Logan
>I knew it would be kino so I rented out the seats next to me and under me as well
>and a couple more for good measure
>Best theatre around me happens to be in niggertown and I don't want those creatures ruining my hughphoria
>Get there 20 minutes early, two bins of popcorn (I'm not fat they're just small) and two sodas
>Dropped well over $100 on the viewing so I expected it to be perfect
>Then, just as the movie is starting, a huge family of negroes walks down my row and asks me to move down.
>I rented ou--
>I was too much of a social autist to explain to them the situation
>I move down the row, away from the center which triggers my OCD hard
>The niggers are loud and obnoxious
>Stepped in a puddle of spilled soda
Fuck niggers

>>84336364

how is it possible for someone this autistic and retarded to get rich

>Go to movies with mom as a kid
>Watching some cowboy western movie, seated near the aisle
>Mom stands up and accidentally backs her foot into the edge of the stairs
>Starts tripping for like 30 straight seconds
>I'm just a fucking kid so I think the whole thing is comical and start laughing
>She lands with her back on the stairs, manages to rip some muscle off of the back of her ribs and starts screaming loudly
>Feel like shit for laughing earlier as we ride in the ambulance

>>84322020
>Lick her hand
stopped reading right there.

>Hate 3D movies because it's a cash grab gimmick
>Only go to them when a group I'm with decides they want to
>Always forewarn the group what I'm going to do
>Every time I see one I wait until an obvious "show case moment" where something comes right at the camera for the sake of the 3D effect
>Loudly say "Wow, it's like they're coming right at me" in a voice of childlike wonder
Reaction varies obviously. First time I said it was during the big battle in Avatar, and the place laughed for like 5 minutes. Shitty horror film audiences usually laugh too. Only really negative reaction I got was at Rogue One because I said it during the scene where one of the chinks gets killed.

Never fails to get a laugh from whoever I'm with though.

File: 129926.gif (3MB, 320x180px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 320x180px

>>84336364
>Go to see a movie the last week it's in the theaters in my town
>We're 6 people including me
>Everyone else heads in
>I go take a big old shit while waiting for the commercials to pass
>Head in
>My group is on the two rows furthest back in the theater
>Walk through the row doing the ol' "sorry, excuse me, sorry"
>Everyone gets up to make it easy to pass
>Except 2 niggers who have their shoes and shit on the floor
>Just acting loud and obnoxious as niggers so often do
>Well I'm walking through anyway
>Kick their shoes under the seats in front of them "by accident"
>Nigger goes apeshit
>"ay wtf go get my shoes"
>Say "Fuck you and your shoes" and keep moving
>He grabs my hoodie and pulls me back so I almost fall on a little girl and her dad
>As I turn one of my friends is already leaping across seats in the row behind us and grabs him by the neck
>He holds his neck and pushes him so he falls over the row in front of us
>Guy in that row picks up the niggers shoes and throws them towards the door
>He's huge as fuck
>Sitting there with his kid
>Points at the door and tells the niggers to "Follow your shoes the fuck out of here before I drag you out"
>One of the coolest things I've ever witnessed
>They leave
>Movie finishes
>Of course they are waiting outside ready to attack me
>Without realizing I was there with 5 other people
>Tries to suckerpunch me but misses
>I realize what's going on
>But he's instantly slammed into the ground by one of my friends
>We get on top of him and hold him down
>Put me knee on his neck and hold his arm behind his back
>Security comes and takes over
>Then the police arrives
>He's searched and they find a knife (thank fuck he didn't stab me), stolen wallet, stolen iphone etc
>Arrested for possession of stolen property, inciting violence and carrying an illegal weapon
>Carrying a knife is a big no-no here.
>Find out they searched his parents home and found a ton of stolen stuff
>Guy had been robbing kids as young as 10 at knifepoint

>seeing movie with friend
>nigger walks by smells like smoke
>halfway through the movie lights a cigarette and starts smoking

>different movie
>niggers phone going off the whole time
>it's that whistle ringtone everyone used to have

>seeing Logan
>the scene where he is staying at that family's farm house
>have to piss so bad I'm about to explode but I don't want to miss the movie
>lady stands up yells "call 911"
>everyone else starts standing up
>think I'm about to get james holmes'd so I'm ready to dive over the wall and run for it
>some guy was having a seizure
>movie pauses while we wait for an ambulance to pick him up
>get to go take a piss break without missing any of the movie

>>84337183
>tfw enjoy 3D, but have an abnormally large head and wearing the glasses is too uncomfortable.
I just tell people I hate 3D

>>84337636
jeez where could you possibly live, it's a big mystery. hmmmm, where is the only place on earth you having a pocket knife is a huge deal. anyway i'll think of it eventually.

also i hope that story is real, i get really sick of people putting up with niggers shit, it's half the reason they keep acting like that

>>84327601
>dead pool
How fucking old are you grandpa?

>>84337885
It's Norway, Oslo.

Oslo is the only place you find niggers like that in Norway. No way I'd ever raise kids here.

File: I'LL TAKE SHIT THAT NEVER HAPPENED.jpg (34KB, 488x351px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 488x351px

>>84337636

>>84335413
>Don't talk to her unless she talks to you first, same with texts.
I have done this for 23 years and I've never gotten anywhere with women. Spoiled bitches won't start anything ever.

File: 1167-white-power-toothpaste.jpg (53KB, 451x338px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 451x338px

>live in overwhelmingly white town
>crying babies get taken out
>kids are quiet or told to shut the fuck up
>not enough nogs for them to form packs
Yeah it's alright.

>go to see the alien covenant movie
>decide to get popcorn and and a drink
>ask for a small popcorn and a medium soda
>guy asks me if I want to upgrade for $1
>tell him no thanks
>are you sure? Its only dollar
>yeah I'm sure, a small is fine
>Are you sure man? Its like twice as much popcorn for only $1 more
>yes, im sure
>alright man, its only an extra dollar though

God I was so fucking angry. If I wanted a medium I would have asked for a medium you stupid cunt.

And to make matters worse, these fucking jews changed their popcorn sizes, so the size I actually wanted was like "Tiny" or some bullshit, and "Small" was actually like a medium.

And the movie wasnt even that good. 4/10 movie experience. Like shit, I'll tell you what I want. Its your fucking job to listen to my order.

File: IMG_2889.png (126KB, 800x769px) Image search: [Google]

126KB, 800x769px

>>84328004
What's the cut off for the manlet pit these days?

>>84335543
Autism.

>>84339199
6 feet or like 185 cm but manlets can get out if they work together. My cinema is trying to play into this by making manlets who escape play the part of "cinema gnomes" but I don't see it catching on.

File: amusement.jpg (46KB, 440x388px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 440x388px

>>84331211

>be me. 26 years old, black male. Go to see Rise of the Planet of the Apes at local theater. Recognize a girl I used to go out with. She's with her new man and his friends. An hour into the movie he goes full HELL NAW and starts screaming about the movie being racist. He is intent on causing a big disturbance. His friends start in with him. The ushers call the manager, the manager calls the police. Many people stay to watch these assholes to see what happens. I decide to leave. I make eye contact with my ex gf. She looks trapped. Her eyes follow me as I head to the lobby to get a refund. I could still here those assholes yelling from the front door.

>>84339199
If you have to ask you're a manlet

>often go to the movies with my grandfather
>he works nonstop, so it's a nice break, plus quality time with the man
>he's usually the one to pick out the movies we see
>hates 90% of everything in cinema though
>fucking despies any type of love scene in any type of movie
>it's the romantic climax where the main characters finally become intimate
>"Jesus fuckin Christ get a fuckin room"
>for some reason I find it hilarious how much he hates it
>I become that retard in the theatre that laughs at the most inappropriate times
>my grandfather just sits in his seat angerily eating popcorn until the scene is over

Some of my favorite times seeing movies in theatre is with him

File: IMG_7805.jpg (151KB, 638x714px) Image search: [Google]

151KB, 638x714px

>Go to theater
>Starring: Denzel Washin-
>Leave theater

>>84335046
one time i ended up going to a fairly nice theater in basketball shorts, a t shirt, and flip flops. Felt awkward as fuck and i legitimately felt like i was insulting the theater.
Obviously nobody said anything and i paid so beyond that they dont give a fuck but i am never doing that again. It just feels weird.

>>84340227
Why would you go to a movie that has a guy in it who makes you leave?

>I was with my mom watching Looper
>going to the kinoplex is our thing since I've moved
>dumb cunt next to me won't shut up
>at the end she thinks Emilie Blunt is his mom because the touches his hair
>can't wait to go to talk to that annoying piece of shit
>she's with her group of 5'11 girl friends
>and I'm 5'5 with my mom

>>84340384
Denzel doesn't make me leave, it's the realization that loud black people will be in the theater

>Go to movies with my parents. We see Zorro. After the movie we decide to walk through alley to get a cab home. Mugger steps out of shadows to rob us. Kills Mom and Dad. I vow vengeance on all criminals. I have tons of money from Dad's investments and shit, so it's all good.

File: 1475448264251.gif (2MB, 355x360px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 355x360px

>>84336784

>>84324418
I'm almost like 100% positive, if that guy dicked around with them, saying some stupid shit like, "Yeah, man, I like my beans" or "Yeah, you wan't some?" they'd be cool with it.

>>84339816
This was more kino than that movie was. Nice.

File: 1466092118704.png (71KB, 445x356px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 445x356px

>>84336574
see notch

>>84336784
weird because i started laughing too and then i finished your post and felt like shit

>>84322388
>live in majority White country
>nice things exist
while I'll be

>>84327601
>intentionally watching MCU movies
What in the hell is wrong with you

File: turbonigger.jpg (54KB, 900x900px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 900x900px

>>84328379
Is this you?

>>84333121
>people who actually live around niggers and spics become racist
:thinks:

>>84341888
Half of Oslo is shitskin you dumb monkey

>>84322796
>>>>>/r/thathappened

>>84342464
Kind of like how jews live around whites and realize whites are subhumans

>>84327601
>Not confronting him
Sure you were not one of the skinnyfats bozo?

>>84324073
>>84324084
>>84324119
>>84327967
Rused

>>84321942
wow.

>>84342078
>deadpool
>mcu

>>84332443
+1

>>84332647
Faggot. You didn't deserve her.

>its a fictional stories green text thread
too semen slurping for me.

>>84336845
>Well, at least her hand was pretty tasty.
stopped reading right there

>>84332647
Reminds me of my first date
>junior in hs
>watching movie in 3d with date
>she's holding the popcorn
>falls asleep for a few seconds
>drops popcorn all over me

>show up to nearly sold out theater
>get a seat on far left with 1 other seat left open
>sit through like 10-15 minutes of previews
>movie starts and about couple minutes in
>in strolls this couple and they expect to get a seat
>dumb bitch girlfriend stands there with her hands on her hips like a bossy cunt trying to get her way
>she nags her boyfriend to come up and to try and get me to give up my seat for them
>tell them nope
>they eventually leave
>person behind me lightly kicks my seat a couple times then stops
>entitled little faggot couple literally expected me to give up my afternoon and time and everything on the whims of them
>posted this a long while ago
>little cuck faggots on /tv/ tried to defend them and say i was in the wrong

>>84324370
I hope somebody punches you in the face. Not because I believe that you did that, but because you thought making that post was in any way a good idea

>>84328379
>is not adult
>gets charged as adult

wtf is this shit?

>>84331211
I call bs on this one

you arent allowed to bring your own food and snacks, at least if you show it to them. If you hide it then its ok

>watching inception (i think) at cinemas
>some girl laughing at everything for some reason, perhaps thought it was a comedy
>people shushing her
>keeps laughing at things that aren't funny
>i stood up, turned around to her and told her to shut up
>people say "thank you" from around the cinema
highlight of my life desu

>>84332647
she sounds cute to be honest

>take friend to see ex machina/enemy/various slightly complicated films
>he completely misunderstands the point and storyline
every single time

>at computer camp in san francisco
>rent out 4 rows even though there were ~20 of us
>sit by myself in the center of a row
>nigger in white hoodie sits two seats from me and flashes a strobe light every 5 mins
>plays rap music the whole time

>>84333212
sounds to me you're the retard

how do you not understand that this girl doesnt want to literal walk she just wants to spend time with you?

you fucking autist

>>84335521
youre a pussy retard faggot

I would kill any fucking nigger piece of shit that touches my mom

>>84346948
my friend thought interstellar was shit because it was too long

File: 1494044771663.png (12KB, 243x243px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 243x243px

why do people ITT when they find something funny type top kek like if they were /b/tards?

is this a kino meme where they pretend to be borderline redditors and undereaged faggots?

>travelling in Myanmar
>with qt Argentinian chick
>both like films
>go to some cinema in Yangon to see what's playing
>only one film in english, but sold out
>fuck it lets go to some cheesy Burmese romance film where we won't understand anything
>the whole film everybody in the cinema is making loads of noise, talking to each other, on phones, opening food containers
>normally would trigger me like crazy but didn't care because didn't understand a word the characters were saying and the film was pretty shit anyway
>we're the only foreigners in the cinema
>tfw memories like this remind me of how i actually loved her but totally fucked up everything between us
>i still remember sitting there and looking at her laughing
i should stop here

>>84332555
check'd

File: 1495754522566.gif (2MB, 250x188px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 250x188px

>>84321942
I hate this story but..
>senior in high school
>popular kids actually invite me to see The Dark Knight
>holy fuck once in a lifetime experience
>day of
>get so hyped
>make sure to get there early
>get to the specified theater
>they're not there
>alright anon calm down...
>movie is actually about to start and they arent here
>go outside and text them
>tells me the theater
>say I'm there but don't see them
>what theater are you at?
>Tinsletown
>I'm at an AMC that happens to be playing TDK in the same theater as Tinsletown
>too late to watch the movie now
>just go home
>the next day at school they make fun of me for going to the wrong theater
>even the fucking teacher makes fun of me who also went apparently
>never get invited to the movies with them again

>>84347090
she's fucking someone else atm and you're still here crying like a little faggot, she doesn't even think about you and think nice things, she probably used you to make herself feel better while she was finding someone that was truly worth her time while she was maturing

>Go to see a screening of The Room with big titty girl way younger than me
>Get drunk and have a lot of fun but she's acting like people making noise during a live screening with crowd participation is the end of the world
>Keep getting drunker then leave and get even more drunk at a bar where I pretty much ignore her
>She drives me home and asks me if she can come in
>Go to take a piss
>Come back and she's fully nude on my couch like "Paint me like a French bitch" style
>Try to have sex with her for like thirty minutes but can only get half chubbed due to whisky dick
>Don't remember much after that but wake up the next morning with blinding sun in my face and she's in bed next to me
>So dehydrated I drink right from the bathroom faucet for like ten minutes
>Come back and she's awake and begging for the dick
>Fuck it, start fucking her from behind spoons style
>Get her in doggy and honestly I'm pretty bored but then she says "Talk dirty to me"
>I go HAM on her and call her a filthy slut and everything else then bust a nut in her without a rubber like a dummy
>She leaves and I delete her from Facebook and block her number
>Three months later she shows up at my house
>"Why didn't you ever call me again, what the fuck is wrong with you, I've been driving by a bunch of times trying to figure out how to talk to you blah blah, I'M PREGNANT."
>fug
>Tell her she's getting an abortion
>She says she can't
>I say "I had planned on asking you to marry me someday I was just too scared, and a babby would make it so we could never get married due to stress and I want to be married first blah blah"
>She gets all lovey and weepy and I tell her to stay until we can make the appointment so she doesn't fuck off
>Take her to the appointment with the doc at the clinic and watch her walk in and tell her everything will be fine
>Fuck off to the Applebees a couple miles down the road because it was 2 for 1 drinks happy hour and never see her again

>>84347090

Get to the part where you raped and killed her already, Joran.

>>84347464
you're trying to look all cool but guaranteed you're the type of faggot acting all apologetic when he can't get hard

>>84347582

Nope, but cool projection. Nothing hard about tricking a dumb bitch into getting an abortion you fucking dummy, it's just smart business.

>>84327226
It's pretty rude to bring a car into a theater to begin with.

>>84321942
here's a very real albeit cliche one

>try to go to cinema to enjoy film
>loud douchebuckets are in the room
>loud talking, screeching and chair-kicking commence throughout
>get up, do a 360 and scream "FIIIYAAAGH!" whilst sprinting like Starfox in Smash Bros to and through the emergency exit with your arms straight back meanwhile everybody starts panicking and running for the doors, too

>>84322388
This is pretty fucked why should a theater going be treated as an "event"

>>84326458
Sounds like a Pynchon novel

>>84327589
I hope you fucking die you annoying faggot.

>>84323860
I would have snapped and killed him.
T. Level max misophoniatic

>>84333629
Which country?

>>84347859
It's how I'm lead to believe things used to be in the states too. Similar to going to live theater to see a play.

>>84346805
ok

>>84333629
Is this from Moldova?

>>84346797
What? Don't they count seats?