>watching Wonder Woman
>man in front of me has been talking nonstop to his girlfriend for an entire hour
>the rage inside of me starts boiling over
>tap his seat
>"Sir can you please stop talking, it's very distracting"
>he calls me a "little spaz faggot" and tells me to mind my own business and goes back to talking
>there are tears in my eyes
>begin loudly eating my popcorn to try and annoy him back
>person next to me tells me to eat quieter
>tell him "yes sir" for some reason
>get up and go piss and wipe my eyes
>stand in the theater doorway for the rest of the movie and watch it from there
>mfw
Deleting that thread was your biggest mistake so far
>>84317304
>watching movie
>in the cinema
This is your mistake. Just wait for blu-ray release. And download it.
Always thought it was a ballsy move to tell the person behind you to screw off. Literally nothing you can do to prevent an attack
In front? Sure...no problem
>>84317304
Just kick him in the back of his head and tell him to stfu or else you'll bust his nuts too.
>>84317304
>be me
>be American
>go to see Wonder Woman in London for a real immersive experience
>at the concession stand
>ask for a bag of popcorn
>"You 'avin a go? This isn't the colonies, we don't serve popped corn 'ere, mate"
>apologize for my ignorance
>ask him to just give me whatever food is popular
>he gives me one spotted dick, a toad in the hole, and a knickerbocker glory to wash it down
>whatever
>time to look for my auditorium
>ticket says it's on the second floor
>walk up an entire flight of stairs
>can't find the auditorium where Wonder Woman is playing
>ask someone to check my ticket
>"You daft, mate? It says 'ere your room's on the second floor, this is the first floor"
>what the fuck
>ask him where the elevator is
>he calls me a wanker and tells me to piss off
>spend the next half hour climbing another set of stairs
>get to the auditorium
>the guards are standing in front
>"A'RIGHT, TROUSERS DOWN, PANTS TOO. GET YOUR PECKERS OUT SO WE CAN BEGIN THE INSPECTION"
>get promoted to a VIP seat for having a 6 inch penis
>"Stonking great willy on that one."
>finally sit down
>my seat comes with a personal Stacy
>movie finally about to begin
>everybody is really excited
>"This is going to be the dog's bollocks, I just know it!"
>"I 'ear they're going for the Fully Monty on this one"
>movie starts
>beautiful shots of Themyscira
>start clapping to show my appreciation
>people staring at me awkwardly
>Steve takes WW to London
>she says it looks hideous
>crowd goes insane
>"Oh, rubbish!"
>"She's off her trolley!"
>"Gormless slag!"
>they calm down after a while
>WW and Steve start kissing in the bedroom and the scene cuts
>Stacy turns to me, smiling with her popcorn-colored teeth
>"Do you think they had a bit of the ol' 'How's your father'?
>tell her to shut the fuck up
>she starts jerking me off
>didn't notice until 20 minutes later because I'm circumcised
It wasn't bad. I felt like David Thewlis as Ares was a total miscast though.
>>84317427
Literally copied 'mistake' immediately
>>84317304
thats when you throw the hot butter sauce from your bucket of crab legs and melt chad and stacey's stupid faces off
>>84317532
Fuck the guy who is going to post this on /r/4chan and get 10k upvotes.
Did you tell Robert? He could have sentenced that man to the popcorn mines
>>84317427
/thread
>>84317532
>that last fucking line
brilliantpls include my in screenshot
>>84317304
>OP somehow bypasses the no singles policy
>Robert enforces talkative couple to sit in front of him as punishment
>>84317467
During my teens I used to avoid fights not because I was scared of getting hurt but just because I didn't want to get my braces knocked out and have to get them put back in again.
>>84317532
Someone screencap this but not me because I can't be bothered.
>>84318375
absolutely.
Unless they are black you should never back down from a loudmouth in the theater.
>>84318375
stop
>>84317532
noice
>>84317532
>tell her to shut the fuck up
sometimes i unironically love you anons
>>84317532
kek'd
>Watching Wonder Woman a couple of weeks after release
>Chubbyish woman in her thirties infront of me texting at the start
>Stays on her phone for another 30 minutes
>Finally had enough and ask her to put it away
>She stands up and swears at me
>Appears to be 6'2
>Begins walking up to the steps and then joins my aisle
>"Your gonna eat my fucking asshole and for every minute your tongues not touching it I'm gonna deepthroat you with my feet."
>Look around
>Everyone is just sitting watching the film
>She pulls down her trousers revealing a pale ass with a very brown hole in the middle
>Her hand grabs my neck and she forces my mouth to her asshole
>Try and pull away but she punches me in the stomach
>As I extend my tongue I can visible feel a layer of dried shit
>Continue for two minutes
>Finally she pulls away and throws me to the ground
>Begins unbuckling her heels
>With one foot she pins me down and the other is forced into my mouth, toes first
>Pushes all the way back to my throat making me gag
>After 30 seconds pass she turns around and squats over my face
>"Here's something to remember me faggot."
>Her ass hole begins to open as a greenish brown turd pokes its head out
Continue?
>>84318020
A single (You) is worth a million upvotes, f@m.
>>84317532
Fairly accurate
>>84317304
>>he calls me a "little spaz faggot"
You have a higher ground. Use it to stomp his fucking head.
>>84318761
I mean
>>84317532
>>84317532
Nice work
>On a business trip in America in Detroit, Michigan
>Decide to stop in one of the cinemas to view Wonder Woman after work
>Greeted by a woman of African origins at the ticket counter, asks me without looking up from her phone "Whatchu hea foe huh?" 0
>Ask her for a ticket to the next viewing of Wonder Woman
>"Ay why you talkin like some Harry Potter white boi bitch? Yo whateva dat be $14.50"
>Walk into cinema, no white people in sight
>Go to concession stand and ask for a litre of Americanized fizzly pop and a serving of popped corn kernels
>Teenage attendant asks why I am being racist and begins assaulting me over the counter
>White manager comes out of his office, looking extremely stressed and frightened, pulls attendant off of me and apologizes, offering me a free fizzly pop.
>I enter the cinema and am greeted with the scent of marihuana cigarettes and malt liquor
>12 year olds appear to be having sex in the aisle, I step over them and proceed to tge seats
>Only seat open is in the front row is covered in used syringes next to a deceased negroid
>During opening credits a fight breaks out in the rear, they begin shooting at eachother
>Get hit by a stray bullet in the shoulder, leave theater and walk two miles to the nearest emergency department
>wait four hours to be seen, get charged $50,000 and told to follow up in a week
>Witness race riot in the streets after a police officer shoots a black teenager that was robbing a liquor store and holding a hostage at gunpoint.
>Contract AIDS from movie theater popped corn kernels
>never finish Wonder Woman.
>>84320618
>"Ay why you talkin like some Harry Potter white boi bitch?"
>>84320618
>ywa be an American
Thanks god for the sickle cell
>>84320618
accurate
>>84320618
Meh. Not nearly as good as >>84317532
>>84317532
>start clapping to show my appreciation
>people staring at me awkwardly
>she starts jerking me off
>didn't notice until 20 minutes later because I'm circumcised
>>84320618
Not as funny as the other one.
>>84317532
Sides gone
>>84317304
>Watching movie
>Loudmouth drunk making stupid comments at the screen nonstop
>After 15 minutes of this, turn around and say "Do you mind, sir. You're not as funny as you think."
>Responds, "I'll see YOU outside!"
>Movie is over
>Stand up
>Drunk is 5' 4" and much shorter than his date.
>>84317304
>watching wonder woman
This is where it all went wrong.
Also go complain to an employee, dipshit. Or start throwing popcorn at his head lol.
>>84317532
>>didn't notice until 20 minutes later because I'm circumcised