>Yeah well I'm worth millions of dollars and you aren't

>>84290884
>What? It's problem with translator here. What did you say?

>>84290884
too bad it'll take more than that for any woman to walk to sleep with him LOOL

>>84290884
You just know that after the interview he was pacing around in his hotel room, angry, tears streaming down his face, muttering about what a bitch she is and what he should've said.

>>84290884

> most women only need one man to be satisfied but I guess you need a gangbang to get you off? I'm not judging at all - good on you - it IS 2015. If you have dreams of being the rag guys use to rub semen on after a good hearty fuck then I say you GO for it girl! Am I right, audience?

> my paid members of the audience present whoop and holla

>Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *inhales HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *Shouting real loud, making everyone else silent* HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Just laugh through the tears. Works every time.

>>84290884
if only he was black he could have answered "lmao just clos yo mouth biatch" without consequences

the joke didn't work specifically BECAUSE they had to use a translator, which keeps it from being punchy at all, and hearing the joke repeated verbatim by some dude over a headset who's probably trying to make it accurate instead of funny makes it impossible outright - so instead of a joke it comes across as a straight insult

>y-you too
Seriously, it's been months since I've last browsed /tv/, is jonahposting seriously still a thing?
Will /tv/ ever find the right comeback?

>>84291880
Jonahposting is great

>>84290884

I would have just Jim-faced the camera and carried on with the interview.

>>84290884
No, Jesus is this really what you think banter sounds like?

>I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention
>I was thinking of the time I banged Brad Pitt and Leo and not you

>>84291592

>EBIN I LOST WEIGHT FOR HER POSTS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRSKIXpvnWA

>Published on Aug 3, 2016

Thats a month before the french interview btw you fucking memeing retards

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But then...I got MAD

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>MY OTHER THREAD WAS HIJACKED BY FACTS!

>BETTER START ANOTHER ONE!!

>DUDE MEMES LMAO!1

>>84290884
>it's a "beta comes up with a comeback" thread

kek you would look 100x worse playing the "im rich" card. good thing you'll never have to worry about it

>>84293350
>haha i'm so gay that i banged them haha

Never works

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Any attempts to comeback would just make him look like a douche. He should of just yawned and looked at his watch like hes bored and ready to get the fuck outta there. Would have made him look like a total boss.

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>>84292890

that is always the appropriate response to an insult

>>84290884
Tv s best was
>that's why it's a fantasy. In reality you would be coming home with me

>>84291592
>broken english
>thinks he's funny
>somehow isn't embarrassed and posts that
Idiot

>>84293384
Lol you are really stupid.
>>84293878
What is your problem? Did your fat daddy kick your ass?

>>84290884
Yeah he should've done what this guy did

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYfYZgDberY

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>>84293416
>tfw when a once obese person now is in better shape than you are or ever will be

>>84294146
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE I DIDN'T REALIZE THERE'S A CUNT TALKING OVER THE VIDEO

WHY THE FUCK CANT I JUST FIND THE VIDEO WHY DO ALL THSE FUCKING VLOGGING FAGGOTS FEEL THE NEED TO INSERT THEMSELVES INTO IT

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>>84293864

>>84290884
>bitch you must not know 'bout me
>to the left to left

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>>84294306

someone post the gun copypasta
it's leagues above the rest

>>84294412
see
>>84294306

Man that must've been really awkward for the translator to translate.

>>84291142
lol projecting much?

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It's been four years since this video and you guys are still making daily threads about this. Even the fucking bain posting has died down.

>>84294156
>Being this defeatist
You can do it senpai, he doesn't even look that good.

>>84294374
Well if he could actually pull this out at the right time it would make for a pretty entertaining reply.

>>84294500
We can stop when someone finally comes up with an appropriate comeback, cunt

>>84294500
It's barely been a year faggit

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>>84294523
truthfully, I'm not even obese or overweight myself

my main issue is an irresolvable one in that I'm even below a healthy weight for my size, but my body composition is terrible because I retain more weight in my legs than my upper body, so no matter what weight I'm at, or how much muscle I gain or lose, whether they're soft/not toned, or hard/toned, my legs are always disproportionately larger and make my physique look glaringly asymmetrical in the opposite way that you'd want if the fat weren't gonna be evenly distributed throughout

to give you an idea, my weight could be borderline anorexic and I'll still have the legs of somebody who can't put down the pastries and have an upper body that looks like Bale in The Machinist, it's pathetic because even plenty of overweight people I see have slimmer and more normal-looking legs than I do, I'd get some surgery, but can barely afford to pay bills one month to the next and so that's never happening, ever

I just inherited shitty genes is all, not excusing myself from doing other exercises to stay somewhat in shape, I do that everyday, but it'll never change my shitty genes and will be long dead before gene editing/transhumanism ever become a thing, if it does

some people shouldn't be allowed to have children, it isn't fair for multitudes of different reasons, one of which is obviously poor genes

>>84290884
Jonah: No more threesomes.
Host: What?
Jonah: I said, no more threesomes. Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been in France a long time. They didn't go over there and tell you. I don't arrange threesomes anymore.
Host: Relax, will ya? Ya flip right out, what's got into you? I'm breaking your balls a little bit, that's all. I'm only kidding with ya...
Jonah: Sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding, you know, there's a lotta people around...
Host: I'm only kidding with you, we're having a show, I just came home and I haven't seen you ever and I'm breaking your balls, and you're getting fucking fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
Jonah: I'm sorry too. It's okay. No problem.
Host: Okay, salud.
Host: [takes a drink] Now go home and get your fuckin' friends.
Jonah: Mother fuckin' mutt! You, you fucking piece of shit!
Host: [taunting] Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, come on, come on!

>>84295273
>woahniggaiain'treadin'allthisshit.jpg
Take your feely weelies on back to R9KKK you fat fucking faggot twat

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>>84295488
Were you trying to be funny? Was this an attempt at humor? This is the worst thing I have seen. Not eve in green text, what are you doing? How long did this take you? This was embarrassing to read.

>Host: [takes a drink] Now go home and get your fuckin' friends.
>Jonah: Mother fuckin' mutt! You, you fucking piece of shit!
>Host: [taunting] Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, come on, come on!

What does this even mean? This wasn't funny at all, this reminds me of those mini comics on veddit. How old are you? Lurk longer and don't post again.

People always gets angry when they see others trying to improve themselves
Seeing Jonah gradually get slimmer and fitter triggered basement dwelling neets
and now they laugh at him to make their lives seem less pathetic

can someone give me a quick rundown here on whats going on

>>84291017
kekekek

>>84295488
I liked it
>>84295785
I see Jany clean board is here. By the way it's from fucking Goodfellas you unbearable plebbit faggot

>>84295488
nice

>>84295785
>hasn't seen Goodfellas
How did you find your way here?

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>>84295922
>>84295963
>Le like it
>Le nice
>Le secret meme bacon midnight
>Le from goodfellas le need to understand epic le memes.
Holy fuck, just stop already. It wasn't funny and was a stupid post. It was an attempt at humor but fell flat. Just because you got a reference doesn't make it funny or clever. Just go back leddit.

>>84296124
You sure know a lot about reddit.

>>84296124
What is this madman's endgame?

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>>84295848
quick rundown?

>>84296092
the movie is overrated
the manga was better

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>>84296092
>>84296173
I don't think you kids understand what I'm getting at. Just because someone replaces a few words to an established script that can be recognized, doesn't make it funny when you understand the reference. That isn't funny or anything, why are you even on here? This was never a thing, so go back.

>>84293615
as a fellow fat fuck to jonah, this is the only response that would have universally worked

if he HAD to say something it should just be like this.

>french slag says her spiel
>jonah hears the translation, laughs to himself a little, shakes his head while chuckling and muttering something under his breath
>she asks what he just said
>"oh nothing, just, well i just had a bet with someone back stage, they came to me, i thought they were joking at first, but they came to me to say that you are, in their words, an absolute cunt of a woman and i-i, you know i just said umm ok then... like i didn't know what was really going on. but she said again, the person interviewing you is going to be a massive cunt, again her words not mine, and then when i said "well maybe we'll see i mean uhh" she propositioned me with a bet.
>french slag: a bet?
>based jonah: yeah a bet. she bet me that you would make that joke, to, to the WORD. i mean she had your script or something clearly. but i said yes and took the bet because i respect women.

nobody would have gotten the joke until long after and immediately at the time she would look like an absolute french hag and he would get good press.

>>84296124
No you just didn't get it so you play sour faggotry Reddit grapes. You blabbering child go back to your upvote space before I rape your tender ass

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Will /tv/ ever, EVER, make a successful retort to this french lady?

How is it possible for one woman to outwit an entire board, seemingly no matter how long this board has to think of a rebuttal?

>>84296691
Because French Stacey trumps fat Jew no matter what.

It's a law of nature.

>>84296691
There were one or two decent ones after about 3-4 months. But I can't remember them.

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>>84296691
It was too powerful

Jonah is pretty good with retorts but couldn't overcome her. She's too good.

>"I don't blame ya. I've been trying to bang those two for years!"

>>84296691
That's the joke, you fucking retard.

Anyway, we already came up with a great comeback anyway.

>"heh, how long did you rehearse that you stupid bitch?"

>yeah well my fantasy is to see you stabbed and raped to death by a gang of niggers you dopey walking cunt

>>84296889
I mean, just look at this. Look at this fucking post.

I think /tv/ is literally just mentally incapable of ever overcoming this.

>>84297039
Cringe

Face it weirdos...hot chick beats fatso. Even if said fatso is rich and/or famous.

It's a universal truth.

>>84296691
Only the fatties here took offense, and they don't tend to be very bright

>>84294374
>tips beret

>hahaha you dumb bitch
>I could have your little village sniped into a ghost town
>come up here and whisper that in my bellybutton and see what happens

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>>84293502
>If watching is you thing...

>>84297364
Those are pretty good, anon, did you just come up with them?

>>84297403
when I thought I was being followed by the government I always told people I could have them sniped

>>84297364
Cringe

He should have just let it roll off him like water off a duck's back. Clutching too hard to your ego is what ends up making you the butt of a joke. He should have known than as a comedian and responded with a light, self-deprecating response then continued with the interview.

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>*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*
>yeah, smell that bitch

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>>84297364
>>84297426

>>84297453
Kek, this would have been a legendary response.

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>>84297471
>Yeah well I bet your fantasy also includes God

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>>84297445
>Clutching too hard to your ego is what ends up making you the butt of a joke.


WRONG

Clutching too hard on $5 footlongs is what made Jonah the butt of her joke.

There is no possible configuration of words that works as a response. Not one.

When is /tv/ going to realise that this is an unwinnable battle?

>>84297519
I'm glad I came to this thread to get ridiculed by a local frog poster. It's nice.

>>84296691
Because Jonah got completely rekt. It's an unsolvable problem. We should just start calling these situations the "Jonah Dilemma"

Can someone link me this video?

all he had to say was "well, sorry but lets be honest here, you aren't going to do much better than me"

would blow her the fuck out while poking fun at himself

>>84297704
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y90cC4qPgq4

>>84297768
that is a good one to be honest
>that's a good one to be honest, but my sexual fantasy is if you were 16 and too drunk to function

>>84297580
Jonah died so we all might live.

>>84297768
That's actually not bad

>>84297784
>"And I heard you get sodomized on a regular basis, no?"

Wait was that Jonah's comeback? Pretty shitty if so, no wonder he couldn't respond to the later beatdown she delivered.

>Hey uh where's the part of that fantasy where I pay you for the private entertainment and leo and brad do the same?

>>84297768
That just makes it look like he can't take a joke. Honestly there's no comeback that works.

>>84297967
Smh

Cringe
>>84297999
Yeah.

She's too hot and he's too fat. It was a 1st round KO.

>>84290884
>And who did you bring along?

>>84290884
Stop making this threads Jonah and fix those disgusting man tits that hang. You need surgery ASAP

>>84298083
truth
>>84298127
more cringe

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Why didn't his bro Miles save him?

>>84298171
>>>/facebook/

>>84294557
That's never going to happen. No one here is clever.

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>>84290884
>yeah, I leave to get my gun and come back to bust the door down, cap you in both your fucking shins, and then Brad, Leo, and myself rape every orifice of your disgusting body, and you enjoy it because you're a fucking whore and when we're done with you I bring my baseball bat out and brain you, then we throw you in a ditch, you fucking bitch

>>84298219
the Judas!

>yeah well in my fantasy you stay, and we all play jenga, and the first piece you move sends the whole tower falling down

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>w-who's laughing now, b-bitch?

>>84298318
Why do underage neckbeards think 'winning' is turning the volume all the way up and sperging out?

>>84298382
Whoever sold him that shirt. Did it come with a free bowl of soup?

>>84298382
Who's the Jew checking out Jonah's ass?

>>84295488
Underrated.

>>84298389
Because that's the joke. Back to r*ddit if you can't handle the humor here.

>"but why would i leave? can't i stay and watch? who doesn't like watching beautiful things rub parts with the french"

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>>84295488
kek

also, checked

>>84298382
How is it possible to look worse thin?

>>84291641

BINGO.

See my reply to this faggot here >>84298626

>>84291641
>le translator wouldve ruined it

More excuses

>>84299306
These threads suck because everyone types out over-long, profanity laced spergy rants. A good comeback should be simple yet biting.

>>84299515
>"Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!"

>>84290884
>Yeah, and I fantasize about going a day where I don't have to kill a bitch
What the fuck, Jonah?

>"let me get this right? Your going to wait until we're alone in the hotel room before you expect my friends Leo and Brad to show up? Bitch, you'd be lucky if you left that room without being raped."

Who are you? Who are you? You're a no talent, if you had talent you could get a proper gig instead of being a weather girl. You're mediocre piece of shit and I've earned my right to say it. I walked Leonardo Di Caprio up on stage to collect his golden globe, who the fuck are you? I've known Martin Scorsese since 2008, who the fuck are you! You are nothing, and you'll never be nothing. How dare you. Miserable mediocre nothing, shame on you.

>>84299671
*throws bag down*

>>84296459

you're salty as fuck and have no sense of humour, hang yourself.

>>84299669
Jonah Hill looks like the kind of guy to say this expecting laughs and instead it destroys his career and he spends the next 5 years coming on tv to apologise to rape victims. Kinda like with that 'Nigger' guy.

>>84299671
I now have the perfect idea for a film:

>Jonah Hill plays himself
>the whole film revolves around an extended montage showing Jonah learning the ultimate comeback
>he is taught by the master himself, the short no-torso bag guy
>the climax is Jonah facing off with the French Weather girl, leaving her tremble in his wake

>>84296492
Just terrible, anon.

He could just have said something like

"that's funny, I've never fantasized about you"

or

"dodged a bullet in that dream didn't I?"

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>>84290884
I've listened to enough french jazz fusion so I know how to talk shit to a french girl, I just say in french:jean luc is a fiddle GOD and they coward away from me!

>as the French say, I surrender!

>>84300014
Quite possibly. Rape tends to be a hard sell in comedy/jokes. Maybe he replaces raped with gangraped? A group raping doesn't sound so bad I think.

Should've just given a sarcastic 'hon hon hon' as a response and moved on

>>84300245
GARBAGE

>>84299933
Nah, that Goodfellas post was filled with typos and broken English. It sucked.

>>84299558
Perfect.

>>84300201
or even something like
>phew, I may be fat, but even "I" have standards

>Are you sure you don't want any of this? I am packing a foot long after all
>Jonah proceeds to whip out his handy pocket sub, put it on his crotch, and flail it around while oil, vegetables, and meatballs fly everywhere

>>84300245
>>84300305
Absolutely shit tier, and I made it!

You fucking cunt, I could destroy you and your entire worthless family with one phone call :) One call and 4 cars of masked ex military and mafia would roll up to your home and turn that place into the 4th of July. Oh you're shaking now? You look as you may cry even?
I'll tell you what, I'm a nice guy. Women refer to me as 'the gentleman'. Since you're such a beautiful lady I will spare you this once, but one more transgression against me and I will weave a fucking firestorm over your entire miserable life. Ourevoir my sweet.
I'd then stand up and walk straight out of there leaving the whole studio in silence.

>>84294492
Considering he rage quit All Of france afterwards I'm thinkin that's not far off

>>84300414
Haha this is a classic. I'm gonna carry a subway around with me everywhere I go now just in case. The jokes on you though I love subway! The food is fresh and a lighter alternative to McDonald's.

>>84300425
baka

Why do all of the cringiest anons always go paramilitary?

>>84290884
>I'm sorry darling, but you look too old for Leo. Maybe ask again after one or two botox injections.

>>84290884
>bitch that's fresh, but not subway fresh.

>>84300513
This. Dude cancelled all of his talk show appearances after he got rekt.

>>84291142
I doubt he made it to his room before breaking down into angry sobbing.

>>84291019
I'd sleep with him. I think he's kind of hot, but I'm open to neckbeards.

I didn't think he was good looking when he first started showing up in movies. Did he get plastic surgery?

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>>84300414
Top jej

>>84300555
this actually would've made him a normie
meme

>>84300425
This ones good, that bitch wouldn't ever talk down to ugly guys again.

>>84300425
nice

>>84300677
I imagine him smiling with a gold tooth after he said it.

Would have won.

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>>84300414

>>84290884
DESU his reply to the sodomizing line was even worse

>Don't get me wrong, but three guys? I'd honestly be more appalled if you asked me to stay.

>>84291017
>>What? It's problem with translator here. What did you say?
only reply I've seen that would've actually would work. you either force her to repeat what she said, or she has to let it go. either way, it ruins her joke

>>84300986
Nice. Makes him look classy.

>That would be a great way to make it to the top in Hollywood, looks like it worked well for you over here

How has no one realised the best response Jonah could have given is a quote from his breakout role?

https://youtu.be/2U34xsSZ5PA

>>84301126
>>84301152
And the cringe continues. baka

>>84300208
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE9iRaXwZh0

long live le french fiddleman

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>*pulls out .45*

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>>84291447
I can attest to this. Been doing it for my adult life and I've never been happier.

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Just a reminder, I can say 'shit' three times- Oops, two times, because I said it once now when I was explaining what I can do.

>I don't get it. What?

Forces her to explain the joke. This kills the roastie

"So your greatest sexual fantasy... is to have a threesome with two guys neither of whom would ever call you again?"

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>>84301275
>*/pol/es out 88.*

Simple retort:

>DiCaprio and Pitt instead of Abdul and Farhad? Hmmmmm....

Instant counter cuck right there, he would have destroyed the entire French nation. Rate.

>>84301401
>>84301415
just terrible


baka

>>84301486
yeah no. baka.

>>84301415
>Leo and Brad? You have the same taste as my mother's friends.

>>84301486
real people don't understand your memes

>>84301486
Nah that's stupid and doesn't really make sense.

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>>84301438
>*pulls out 10.2 inch meat pole to whiplash and splish splash on your face*

>>84301546
how does this make Jonah look any better?


baka

>You got me. I've been well and truly BTFO.

No shame in honesty, desu.

Ok new one:

>Yea, Pitt and DiCaprio love the swarthy types

This retort indicates the shitskinness of some ethnic frenchies who have moorish ancestry. He could also follow up with:


>well, moor is what moor does

Indicating that she's a moor because she's dark. It would totally rekt her and the French nation.

The responses in this thread have confirmed for me what I suspected all along -- that this board is packed to the rafters with edgelord faggots who don't understand how insult humor works. Your retorts suck: they run on too long and carry the kind of wild-eyed self-aggrandization that is most at home in the manifesto of a school shooter. The best response is the short and punchy one. Stop reading chuck palahniuk; start reading oscar Wilde.

>>84301756
Trying too hard to be shitty, bud.

>>84301756
See >>84301547

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>>84301756
>pure autism

mfw

>>84301789
Okay, then post your amazing retort, Mr. Wilde. Put up or shut up.

>>84291592
Jonah would be Chad as fuck if he got swole. he has good hair and good facial structure.

>"Yes, I may be fat and unattractive, my dear. But in a few days I'll be back in my mansion with my millions and you'll still be a French weathergirl bitch."

>>84301789
Fuck you dude.

>>84301829
Ma'am, Mr DiCaprio prefers the company of beautiful women. Why would he change that for you?

>>84299671
underrated

>>84301873
Ah, the Churchill. That one might work.

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>>84301873
note to edgy neckbeards: abject materialism doesn't somehow not make you physically repulsive

>>84301905
No, my friend. Fuck YOU

Are hotel room threesomes how you got your job as a weather girl?

>>84301486
underated.

>>84301997
Actually pretty good

>>84301942
No, but it does buy you hookers.

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>*unsheathes .44 Magnum*
>*she shrieks*
>*audience abruptly stops laughing*
>*dead silence*
>I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you with this .44 Magnum pistol.
>*click*
>*audience gasps*
>A .44 Magnum pistol, I'm gonna kill you with this gun. Did you ever see... did you ever see what a .44 Magnum pistol can do to a woman's face? I mean it will fucking destroy it. Just blow her right apart. That's what it will do to your face. Now..
>*points gun to her crotch*
>*she starts hyperventilating*
>...did you ever see what it can do to a woman's pussy? That you should see. That you should see what a .44 Magnum's gonna do to a woman's pussy you should see
>*points gun away*
>*faces audience while walking around*
>*french girl is crying*
>I know, I know you must think I'm...you know, you must think I'm pretty sick or somethin', you know, you must think I'm pretty sick. Right?
>*fires shot in the air*
>*audience is panicking*
>You must think I'm pretty sick? Hmm? Right? I'll betcha, I'll betcha you really think I'm sick, right?
>*fires another shot*
>You think I'm sick?
>*fires another shot*
>You think I'm sick? You don't have to answer that...
>points gun at french's girl's head
>I'm the interviewer now. You don't have to answer that.

>>84301997

This is good.

>>84296846
Desu I like this one! This one is actually good!

You can even make it into "You've got another thing coming if you think I'm leaving that room, I've been trying to fuck those two for years!"

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>>84302141
are you trying to make him sound like he is coming out of the closet?

baka


the fuck is wrong with /tv/?

>>84301858
Incorrect, he would still be a turbo-manlet. Not even blue eyes halo can make him Chad. he is barely 170 cm.

>>84300187
>Yeah, well the jerk-store called and they're running out of you !

>>84302197
Why is she so perfect bros?

>>84301619
Just a joke calling her old.

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>>84301858
>>84302240
forgot my picture. point is, it was over from him from birth. I don't blame him for drowning the pain with Subway. I would if I was the height of a middle schooler too.

>>84302253
good luck w/ your autism.

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>>84302121

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I can actually feel the triggering.

>>84301997
>Oh sorry, you don't know? They're not hiring for their new film.

He should have gone all out:

>well at least you aren't sucking off hakim and jamal

>>84295785
get the fuck outta here you bozo

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>>84302121

>>84301037
Whatwrong with her repeting it

Incidentally, the french have a term for the wicked comebacks you think of after the fact.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27esprit_de_l%27escalier

>>84296691
>I'll just go fuck your mother, then.

>>84302338
Doesn't make sense.

>>84290884
>My sexual fantasy is you but ten years younger
how's that?

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>I hope you get raped by a pack of feral niggers

>>84302283
Seems like YOU have autism m8. We're having fun and you're taking it seriously. Fatboy

>>84302429
Not bad, but it makes him sound like he's into young girls in a possibly creepy way.

6.5/10

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>>84302121
[Part 2]
>Now I know what you're thinkin'. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?"
>*french girl is sobbing hysterically*
>*she just pissed herself*
>Well do ya, punk?

Poor Jonah, he got utterely demolished. He was completely destroyed so much so he couldn't say any comeback because of the stinging pain of her statement.

He must have been so fucking pissed that he got eviscerated in public by some no name weather girl.

>and your OTHER fantasy

Quite the fantasy, mademoiselle, quite the fantasy. I must say, it's not too far fetched either. I can easily see you in a room with two strangers doing as they please with you. Using your body for a cheap laugh, treating you with less respect than that they have for their lavatories. Eroding any semblance of dignity, soul, sense of being you have left in your cocoon. Personally, you're not to my taste. As a proud man of Jewish heritage, I do not look favourably upon the idea of courting a woman of your stock. No doubt you have at least a little German in your blood, as your Great Grandmother and Grandmother respectively have certainly had a lot of German in their holes. Nonetheless, the part of your fantasy which I find to be unrealistic, is my ability to make you laugh. Not because of my ability as a comedian, but because of your mental capacity. Sure I might let a simple joke fly on occasion for the children in the audience, but I can only keep the young and feeble minded entertained for so long until I grow weary of my babysitting duties. What makes you think that you are on par with my intellectual capabilities as an artist? How do you deem yourself to be qualified to truly understand my repertoire? I look into your eyes now, my ears are open, waiting for a response. Yet, nothing. Silence. I'm waiting, mademoiselle, what do you have to say?

>>84302513
Yeah, but at the end of the day who really lost this exchange? The weather girl was forced to apologize, Jonah continues to get multi-million dollar roles and the only people who remember this minor embarrassment are autistic /tv/ posters still trying to come up with a witty retort.

>>84302568
t. jonah

>>84302535
>Chill girl, last time someone burned a jew this hard, they were tried for war crimes.

>>84293416
If he can do it, so can I. Fuck, I need to get my shit together and start a diet.

>They wouldn't want you, Ornella. More like oh-HELL-nah

Absolutely BTFO'd

>>84302490
Okay what about this
>You might've been able to ten years ago

>>84302710
Pretty good if you ask me, I must say.

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>>84302535
jesus christ


I thought fat internet nerds where supposed to be witty


/tv/ is pure cringe

Nothing works bros. Fat nerds don't have a chance against beautiful women.

There's still no witty response of pure kino after 225 posts. Let's just admit that Jonah was completey btfo'd. He was so rekt that he had to lose weight to not feel like a piece of shit.

>>84296889
hahaha pls be bait

>>84302748
True, even if Jonah could deliver the perfect retort in that situation, the white-knights and co-worker chads in the studio would shut him down and turn it around on him, making him out to be the villain.

>>84302748
this


the fat retards on here just can't accept it.

>last I checked dicaprio and pitt already got herpes

>>84302535
I can't tell if you think this is actually clever.

>>84290884
>ahaaha! Leo and Brad are worth much more!

>>84302429
>"My sexual fantasy is you but ten IQ points higher"
or
>"Hahaha, hey I can call them up and make that happen. Can you call and invite your attractive friend?"

>>84296691
there's literally nothing you can say against a woman saying, "I don't want to fuck you because you're ugly." everything is either "no u" or irrelevant.

>>84302728
thanks. Too bad I'd never being able to figure out anything remotely witty on the fly.

>>84302833
no and no.

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>Yeah? Well you're a Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face, Slipper-Wielding, Clype-Dreep-Bachle, Gether-Uping-Blate-Maw, Bleathering, Gomeril, Jessie, Oaf-Looking, Scooner, Nyaff, Plookie, Shan, Milk-Drinking, Soy-Faced Shilpit, Mim-Moothed, Sniveling, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-Blaugh, Vile-Stoochie, Cally-Breek-Tattie

Fucking virgins. The only correct response is as follows. Because it is the only way the fat nerd beats the attractive woman.

"Oh ok. Which one would you have in your mouth?"

Reminding everyone that her being used as a cock sock is nothing to brag about.

>>84302833
>>"My sexual fantasy is you but ten IQ points higher"
10 points higher and she'd still want nothing to do with him.


Why are you all so bad at this? The amount of cringe responses itt are out of control.

>>84302748
this is the truth

>>84302897
you'd look like a completely out of control sperg.


baka


even the more cynical anons here are TERRIBLE at this.

>>84300201
These are both gold

>>84302969
How the fuck would that look like an out of control sperg???? Have you ever been in a social situation with banter between men and women? KYS my peasant.

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>>84303019
She throws a light barb, your retarded ass turns the volume up full blast.

>H-how the fuck would that look like an out of control sperg????


are you people autistic for real?

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>>84290884
>*starts sobbing hysterically*
>I HATE YOU, YOU BIG BULLY
>*gets up and runs away*
That's how you do it, men

>>84301401
>roasties REEEEEE

Screw you retards, she's a top tier qt.

>"I don't get it"

>>84303186
so you're fat AND dumb?

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>>84290884
(To producer off screen)

I'M

GLAD

I

CAME

ON

THIS

SHOW

TO

BE

RIDICULED

BY

YOUR

LOCAL

WEATHER

GIRL.

How is what he said not fine. He put her down professionally, ignored her, and passive aggressively made her boss feel like an asshole.

>>84303170
This, she's gorgeous which is why a good retort is impossible.

>yeah I'm sure those two can't wait to take a break from fucking super models to have pity sex with the French weather girl

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>Well, if you think I would leave the room, then I guess it really is a fantasy.

>I also have a fantasy about you. You meet a rich and handsome guy, get married, have kids, and enjoy a rich and fulfilling life. Then you wake up.

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Bit old for that sort of talk, ain't you ma'am?

There you go. Thread over.

>>84290884

He could have just rolled with it instead of acting like an insecure faggot. Probably went home to eat subway comfort food.

>>84301756
>ethnic frenchies who have moorish ancestry
more frenchies have algerian ancestry than moorish ancestry friend

>on my way out I'd make sure to tell them you can't stay long because you're due back at the zoo by 6:00

>>84303321
Several people have already posted some variation of this. She looks late 20s at the oldest and she's hot. Something like that would have zero impact.

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>>84303320
>I also have a fantasy about you. You meet a rich and handsome guy, get married, have kids, and enjoy a rich and fulfilling life. Then you wake up.
h-has /tv/ finally done it? a good comeback?
nice work anon

>>84303400
>Something like that would have zero impact.
You don't know many women, do you? The moment you bring their age into question (especially if they're over 25 or so) they get visibly uncomfortable, not to mention other women will cackle at it.

>>84303103
>A light barb

Are you baiting or a retarded woman/nu-male?

>>84303413
Nah. That just sounds mean spirited instead of witty.

>>84303453
nah, other anon is correct. That chick is young enough and hot enough where it would have no impact on her. If anything, it would just give her enough room to really finish his fat ass off.

>>84303224
Yeah the funny thing is it's not actually that bad now that I've read 200 autistic alternatives

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>>84303495
>other anon is correct.
>other
You insecure fuck.

>>84303463
nah, it was a light barb. It was enough to do the job though. Which is one more really good reason not to be fat.

>>84303521
seriously was another anon


but nice job Inspector Clouseau

>>84303494
>mean spirited
so?
she insults him and he can't insult her back?
It's not really mean spirited either, although it all depends in the tone of voice in which he says it.
You can't just scream like an autist.
You gotta be calm.

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>and then what happens?
There.

>>84303521
First anon that responded here. That guy wasn't me I swear. Anyway, we're right. She's too young and hot for a joke about her age to do anything.

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>>84303606
>seriously was another anon

>well if you want a threesome, you should share your daughters bull, frenchie

>>84303635
I don't get it.

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>>84303606
>>84303644
>22:06
>23:09
Stop embarrassing yourself for fuck sake lad.

>>84303644
thank you other sane anon

>>84303650
baka

>>84296691
There was a really good one I can't remember. But it had something along the lines of why would they want you though?

>>84303674
4chan isn't real life anon

>>84303676
>and then your friends Brad and Leo show up and you leave
>and then what happens?
Are you retarded?

>>84303684
Shut up nerd. You made this post >>84303321 and /threaded yourself when at least ten other people already posted the same comeback. Back to the drawing board.

>>84296092
Why would I watch such an old, dull movie?

>>84303749
How is that a good comeback though?

>280 posts in and STILL no epic retort

Fail, /tv/...

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>>84303759
>Get caught samefagging like a bitch
>S-S-SHUT UP
Jonah is that you?

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>>84303614
>so?
when you get out of highschool you'll hopefully figure out that lashing out and being a mean spirited dick because someone made you the butt of a joke, makes you like a retarded thin skinned piece of shit.
>she insults him and he can't insult her back?
It's called being professional.
>It's not really mean spirited either, although it all depends in the tone of voice in which he says it.
A "joke" about how you wish she has a great life PSYCHE BITCH I HATE YOU I HOPE YOU DIE ANGRY.
>You gotta be calm.
If he calmly said that he'd just seem like a sociopath. The problem is the tone of the joke. She's making a goof about sex. He's basically saying kys.

>>84303815
Your comeback sucked, anon.

*cancels promotional tour*

Heh

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>>84303837
Your samefagging sucked even worse and distracted from it, thanks.

>>84303860
The best part is there was no samefagging. You posted a shitty and unoriginal joke while also /threading yourself. Super embarrassing.

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>>84303903
>no samefagging.

Look I get it, you've been rattled and feel the need to get the last word in so you can think in your head you "won" out little discussion.

You may have the last word, I will allow it. Go ahead.

>>84303793
It's not a comeback, you're trying to get her to tell you explicitly what happens next instead of leaving it to the imagination.

>>84303833
>when you get out of highschool
I graduated two months ago fag
>spending your time arguing with teenagers
lmao @ your life

>>84300986
>>84300986
>>84300986

>>84303944
Your comeback sucked, anon.

imagine being caught in this autistic argument like these 2 or 3 people are

can all of you just go jump now, like just do it already fucking christ

>>84304030
What's the point of coming to 4chan if you're not going to autistically argue over trivial, instantly forgettable things? I thought that was the whole point of this craphole.

>>84303944
Your comeback sucked, anon.

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>>84303321
no.

A: On it's own it's a cringey faggot thing to say.
B: You're setting up getting btfo in so many possible ways. Even if they all ackwardly say nothing in response to the confusing "burn," it's a lose-lose-lose uuuu.

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>>84304030
pfft no u

>You may be laughing now, but as soon as this goes live I will have hundreds, possibly thousands of anonymous users perfecting the perfect retort full of razor sharp wit, tact, and brevity to leave you speechless. Oh yeah, I'd be pissing my panties too if I just insulted one of the highest paying comedian actors of this generation. You could've kept your snail slurping mouth shut, but you didn't. And now you have to suffer the consequences. This is not a threat, it's a fucking promise. I will return

Wow what an incredibly hurtful thing to say, I imagine you are probably looking for someone because nobody wants to stay around that.

I wouldn't say this but it's probably true in some sense

>>84299671
>I've known Martin Scorsese since 2008

top kek

>>84304127
no u

>>84303833
>threads have been going on for a year and newfigs still don't realize the try hard comebacks are ironic
baka
baka senpai

>>84304205
Naw, still would be a loss since he'd be directly calling for our assistance and 4chan isn't his personal army.

>>84304330
Nah you can tell the difference between ironic ones and genuine attempts.

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I can't believe it! The perfect comeback has existed for 9 months and we never saw it.

>yeah I bet you think you're fucking funny bitch. you're worthless. you're a dumb french slut who thinks she's hot shit. well guess what? you're not
>walks off stage

>>84304400
damn...
/tv/ btfo

I really hope Jonah keeps it together this time. He's actually very handsome when he's skinny

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The perfect response, from a few days ago:

>Brad is married and Leo is fucking supermodels, they wouldn't be interested.

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>>84304330
>threads have been going on for a year and newfags don't realize the autistic nitpicking and arguing of the shitty comebacks is why the threads have been going on for a year

>haha well.. I'm not sure if they'd be interested

We need to make a collection of /tv/'s best retorts because there are actually a bunch of genuinely good ones ITT

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>>84304562
>because there are actually a bunch of genuinely good ones ITT

>>84300425
holy shit this is alpha

The best response it to humbly accept defeat, then ruin her life from the shadows

This is an impossible situation because of chivalrous attitudes that favor women. This is like when a girl wants to fist fight you...you say no, you look like a bitch, you say yes and kick her ass you look like a douche and if you say yes and lose you look like a bitch


There is literally no way to win

>>84303852
This. He got BTFO'd bad.

>>84304688
The only winning move is not to play :^)

>Leo and Brad Pitt huh? So you want a taste of the Hollywood life hmm? Well, you don't deserve that. You deserve shit
>At this point Jonah jumps out of the chair, crawls over to the French girl and tackles her
>They wouldn't want you, my dear. You aren't even good enough to be a 10$ backpage whore. No, you'll be my virgin fart slave
>Jonah's crushing weight is too much for the weather girl, she is no match. He sits his 350 lb, single berry infested ass on her face
>"Ya know I tried some of your local cuisine, it didn't really sit right HAHAHA."
>*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPT*
>her screams of broken English are muttered by his layers of fat
>"NOOO STOP, STINKY."
>*BRAAAAAAAAPT*
>"Yes, breath it in my dear, that's the only taste of the Hollywood life you will ever experience!"
Should've done this desu

>>84304796
>single berry

I liked it but don't mobile post next time.

>>84303358
they're the same thing, mate.

>>84304796
This reads bad enough to be an actual script for one of those fart fetish sites.