>I am black. For this reason, I am out. Unless you are also

Shart Tank
A dunk tank but filled with sharts.

I delivered dinner to Mark Cuban a couple months ago, ask me anything

>>84257232
Who's Mark Cuban?

>>84257232
was he nice

anyone know how his garbage can lid company is doing?

>>84257271
No

He was on Joey's world tour

>>84257268
Billionaire
>>84257271
He was. He has an armed guard at the mansion gates who could have easily taken the delivery, but he let me in to the front door of the mansion anyway. His kids answered the door and when he came he complimented my work uniform and tipped $35

>>84257232
I highly doubt he came to the door himself.

>>84257181
https://youtu.be/3Dr7XdvEk0k

>>84257382
Apparently, he kind of tries to do things normal people would, like go to restaurants to eat wings and watch the game, despite being super rich

>>84257494
Normal people have body guards with them at all times?

>>84257536
Normal people vote democrat? LOL

>>84257369
>$35
wow cheap fuck

>>84257566
well majority voted hillary, so yes.

>>84257639
>48%
>majority

>>84257612
Considering how much he has, maybe, but still my biggest tip to date. It was $15 through the app and $20 cash, which I still have for some reason

>>84257369
If I were rich I'd make you take the first bite
To see if it wasn't poisoned

>>84257369
Always had an irrational hatred for him.

>>84257639
Keep crying cuck. Commiefornia should be nuked.
http://www.investors.com/politics/commentary/its-official-clintons-popular-vote-win-came-entirely-from-california/

>>84257658
>>84257685
kek someones triggered i see. facts hurt i guess

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>gf of several years "not in love anymore"
>is moving away to be with another dude she met online(lel)
>huge fight, punched walls, broken shit, all around awful drama
>call a cab and send her away
>locked inside the house for a week after
>used sharktank to escape reality and ignore misery

I've associated this show with one of my darker times, I watched not just every episode but also all shark tank related videos on youtube and the other versions of this show, I only stopped watching whenever I would fall asleep exhausted.
A full week of 24/7 shark tank, weed, isolation and self loathing.

>>84257639
>stupid neo-lib doesn't know the difference between majority and plurality

>>84257639
>liberals in charge of knowing majority vs plurality

>>84257673
All US presidents have people who's job it is to do just that. Why wouldn't a billionaire?

>>84257420
That Texan Hawaiian is so based.

>>84257673
I didnt know who it was for until it got there. The name and phone number I got were just for Mark C

>>84257673
Bit of a waste of money. Not all poisons are fast-acting. Better to just force the delivery boy to wait there for the next week and have him killed if you feel ill after eating it.

>>84257181
I always feel like he overdresses to overcompensate for something. He wears things like collar bars and french cuffs while everyone else is like casual Friday in comparison, hell Cuban just shows up in a polo most of the time.

>>84257833
He's in the fashion industry, he doesn't want to look like a slob.

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>>84257833
>to overcompensate for something

>>84257946
Yeah but lets be real, he came up with FUBU not some bespoke tailor brand or something.

>>84257747
Did you not notice you were driving up to a giant mansion that a billionaire lived in?

>>84258176
No he was too busy making up this story to notice

>>84258176
Actually, as I was driving, I noticed he lives in Preston Hollow, and then saw the name. The instruction said guard would let me in. Once I got to the mansion, the guard gave me some shit: "you say you have a delivery for 'Mark C??'". Once I was in, he has a stone at the door with the name Cuban and the Mavs logo etched in

>>84258602
That's cool if true. Why wouldn't he just send his guard out to go get some pizza?

>>84259198
I deliver with Favor, and I guess he wanted fried chicken. He ordered from a place 10 min from his house. It's weird because I saw a Dominos car leaving his mansion before I pulled up to the entrance gate

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>accidentally reply with a Shark Tank meme to a girl at work
>this fucking qt tells me she loves Shark Tank and starts quoting Mr. Wonderful himself
>she's able to recite exact pitches and has seen every episode at least once
What's my next move bros?

>>84257181
kek

>>84257723
Wowee! A full week?? How'd you manage that?!

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>I'm really only here for the publicity. For that reason, I am out.

>>84259511
Offer her a royalty deal

>>84259511
If it doesn't work at least you can use an elaborate "I'm out" line

>>84257685
you are the cuck for letting yourself be tricked into hating part of your own country

>>84259511
Well you have to fuck her after giving your best offer

>>84259980
>I'm in for 5 inches but that's literally the best I can do.

>>84259511
>I'll give you 50,000 sperm cells for 20% equity in your pussy

>>84257181
Shit... i would too if i was black and in his position

>I love you and I love your product but because I don't understand your business or your product or how to sell it outside of QVC I'm out
Lori.jpg

>>84259933
USA USA USA USA USA

>seriously

USA USA USA USA USA USA

>>84257639
>well majority voted hillary, so yes.
kek incoming triggered trumpanzees

>>84259511
Give her a 30 second shot clock.

>>84259680
>I appreciate your offer Cubes

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STREAM FUCKING WHEN

Is it time for some O'Leary posting?!

BASED KEVIN
A
S
E
D

tfw its a 'rob gets cucked' episode

STREAM
T
R
E
A
M

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Look. I'm not the most tech savoy person like Mark here, have the best manufacturing infrastructure like Daymon, or the selfishness of Kevin over there as he drinks pre World War 1 red wine but what I can do for you is that I will go Kite Surfing with you on weekends. We can bond and be best friends. I'm not investing in your product but for your friendship. I'm willing to offer you the same amount but for less of a share because I'm just desperate for a friend and you can't buy a friend out of Mark, Daymon, or Kevin for that price. As for Lori over there do you really want to be friends with her?

>>84261680
You've got a deal Lori!

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A long time ago as a young man I was walking through Central Park by my lonesome. It was a beautiful night, light sounds of the city passing by, but otherwise quiet. As I strolled throughout the park toward my apartment I heard the muffled sounds of a woman screaming, and just a few yards away from me I came across a half nude woman with two men on top of her. We briefly made eye contact and I could see a look of complete desparation in her gaze, a call for help. I kept on walking. Her muffled screams got louder as she realized that there was no hero of this story, no one to save her from the arms of the men viciously having their way with her. She was a lost cause. I knew that even if I tried to help her there was nothing I could do to stop those men. Your strategy has yet to show ANY inkling of a profit, and frankly, your product has no market. You are that woman I couldn't help. And because of that, I'm out.

I don't actually have that much money and definitely cant invest in anything unless it's very cheap and for that reason im out

>>84257181
The last episode I saw of this show he jumped in a saved this giant meathead named "White Rhino" with a shitty cooler.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE__MkdgZHc

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Have you ever drank a glass of black rhinoceros blood? Of course not, I was just being colloquial to start this story with an anecdote. The first time I had a glass I was in South Africa, taking a celebratory drink in Johannesburg after completing a successful hunt. You see, in South Africa they don't hunt lion, or elephant. We hunted a more dangerous game: the kaffir, or black man. I finally had a 7 year old boy cornered in an Oingo Bongo merchandise warehouse when the thoughts passed through my mind: Should I pull the trigger? Can I ever come back to who I was before this moment? I pulled the trigger, made my first 100 million dollars. Mr. Johnson, this is something you need to ask yourself: can I pull the trigger on this deal and make thr right choice? 10% funding for 85% ownership and prima nocte rights to your daughters.

DID I MENTION QVC!?

>>84257723
Nice blog, faggot.

I'm in and for that reason i'm out.

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As a young child I saw my Mother relentlessly beaten by my Father. I can still recall hearing her muffled screams through the walls of my bedroom as I lay trying to fall asleep. Some nights were worse than others, but I remember the mornings my Grandmother would take me to school because my Mother couldn’t be seen in public. She would wear sunglasses and long sleeve shirts for weeks while the bruising and swelling slowly healed around her eyes and arms. I never understood how something as simple as an overcooked meal or spilt glass of wine in the living room could send my Father into these inexplicable fits of rage; not until this very moment. Not until I saw your presentation. You are the stain on my fathers Afghan rug and I see no club soda nor salt to scrub you away. For an investment of 250,000 dollars I will retain 92% of your company with a lifetime of royalties and if you even for one second glance in Lori’s direction, I will personally crucify each of your children.

>>84261765
That blonde girl almost creamed herself

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Let me give you some advice. Do not go into retail. It is a savage place. Last year I invested in the toy business KinderKids. If my marketing specialists did their job you have never heard of them. You see I was competing for retail space with Mattel. To flush me out they replaced the plastic we used with lead. Over a thousand children died. Like I said, it is a savage place. Of course in response I used my influence with Mattel to have all children's products shipped with one adult Brazilian Wandering Spider. The casualties are are still climbing to this day. When I look at you I do not see someone capable of making these kinds of tough business decisions.
And for that reason, I'm out.

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uber

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>it's a Kevin and Mark gang up on Robert episode

Does anyone else want to cum in Lori?

>>84261765
Did they hire the same editor from kitchen nightmares? those fucking sound effects man

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>>84261951
>but it's okay because the pitchers brought a dog

>>84261926
fuck this guy
bring back ashton kutcher!

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>>84262008
G E T O U T

>>84261765
>only 50k for 33% of the business
is this guy fucking stupid?

remember your valuation /tv/!

if you are seeking $200,000 in exchange for 15%, what do you value your company at?

>>84262250
$300 according to lots of the people that go on

>>84261765
>meathead
Why do I have such a power over Anon? I singlehandedly made cringe posting popular as well as insufferable and meathead.

Just saying, I'm flattered to be desu.

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>>84262250
1.35 mill

but mr. wonderful says a business is only worth 6x cash flow

>>84261880
Ugh, I just scan for rug, rape or oingo boingo and kinderkids and know to skip these posts.

>>84262338
Meathead is a term people use when speaking about large muscular mean. You didn't create it. I also don't really see posts on 4chan specifically memeing the term up. What the fuck are you on about?

>>84261926
That guy oozes pretentiousness.

>>84261926
LOL IM A MILLENNIAL TOO GUYZ

>>84257723
What's the best episode? Or at least your favorite? Bulletball doesn't count.

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>>84259933
>letting yourself be tricked into hating part of your own country
tricked?

>>84262400
Don't get defensive, just use it. Have fun, you're welcome.

>>84261904
>girl

>>84262549
For what? What did you do? I'm sincerely asking?

>>84262639
Just enjoy. I know you are trying to help me get some well deserved recognition, but please, sir... Don't mention it.

>>84257181
WE WUZ FUBU N SHIET

>>84257639
>trannies, illegals, blacks, gays, democrats
>normal people

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>That one time Ashton Kutcher was on the show
He was fine enough but it was kind of pointless desu, maybe if they had guest sharks often

>>84261799
checked and kekked

I know the guy who invented the pavlok. I guess he was on an episode of shark tank. Anybody here see it?

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>Mfw the whole scrub daddy segment
>My fucking face during the whole ordeal
What in the fuck was all of that, it was ridiculously overpriced.

>>84257658
>>84257719

What the fuck are you on about? 35 dollars is a great tip for delivering a pizza.

Just because a guys is rich doesn't mean he owes the delivery guy part of his fortune.

>>84261919

Gave me a bit of a chuckle.

Which is all we can really ask for in this workaday world of ours.

>>84263256
no it's not from a billionaire. unless mark is ordering pizza's every single day. i expect a crisp $100 bill.

>>84263256
Deliveryguy here. I was just happy to meet him, and like I said, $35 was the best tip I ever got, and it was just an $80 order

wew

>>84264304
Based wewposter.

>>84257723
kys

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Let me tell you a story, Christopher. This is a true story, and is in fact one of my fondest memories. Because of my early success in the toy industry with The Learning Company, I was given the privilege of visiting one of Hasbro’s many factories in Southeast Asia. This is a privilege I continue to take advantage of to this day. On my first trip, I was taken into a room containing a small Cambodian boy, his mother, and a few brutish operatives from an international private military company I am not at liberty to name. These soldiers wordlessly began to skin the boy alive, right in front of his restrained mother and myself. No doubt this was because the child had fallen behind on the production of the latest “Care-Bear” or “Raggedy-Ann” abomination. After ensuring the boy’s survival, a large cache of bladed instruments was revealed, and each person in the room was given the opportunity to introduce them to the wretched child. I was placed towards the end of this line due to my inexperience, and decided to examine how the other men went about this torture. I looked into their eyes and saw nothing but the cold, uncaring stares of men just doing their jobs as they cleaved the boy’s lean flesh from his bones. That was an air of professionalism I would come to expect from all my employees from that day onwards. Looking into the boy’s eyes, I could feel the pain and fear emanating from inside his very soul. He quickly wore out his vocal chords, and every strike was met only by desperate wheezing, then coughing, then a viscous gagging noise as his esophagus filled with a variety of bodily fluids.

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>>84264856
Eventually, it became my turn to engage in the ritual. I picked up a kukri, a tribal knife used by Nepalese Ghurkas to brutalize their foes in combat, and began hacking away at the boy’s left arm. It took me about five decent swings to finally cleave all the way through, though this was no fault of my own. The knife was dulled on purpose, and the blade was coated in a rare poison found only in a rare breed of tree frog native to the Amazon jungle. This poison had no real effect outside of causing an unimaginably painful burning sensation when exposed to raw flesh, which today is only advised to be used sparingly when torturing the most stubborn of our enemies. The boy eventually passed out from this experience, and was quickly revived by one of the soldiers so that the exercise could continue. I put the kukri down as another one of the soldiers selected a serrated kitchen knife and went to work on the boy’s already-mangled genitals. I’m telling you this story because when I look into your eyes, I don’t see the boy’s pathetic stare, nor do I hear the futile lamentations of his mother.
I see a reflection of my own frustration in not being able to hack away at the boy’s other arm, and for that reason, I’m out.

>>84264326
Based basedposter

>>84264856
>>84264890
unironically laughed out loud

>>84257639
Not to turn this into /pol/, but no. Despite Hillary's margins in Cali, she under performed almost everywhere relative to Obama's 2012 margins with a handful of exceptions being the southwest, Utah, and Georgia I believe.

STREAM WHEN

>>84262865
>Implying it's not a new normal

>>84264856
>>84264890
tfw he will never be our PM

>>84266953
>uh no
>Well i have. you see in deep hidden jungles of Africa there hides a secret club, a society if you will, of which i am a member..

>>84267043
>and for that reason, i am out.

>>84263659

Get used to being disappointed.

>>84263659
>He's rich so he has to tip more!

How do I get to feel so entitled? It's just another delivery, he got a huge tip for almost 50% of the bill which is greater than the normal amount.

>>84261956
all day

>>84257639
The majority of eligible voters in the US voted for no one.

>>84259511
>Autists in love

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Why is this meme so good

>>84259774
>>84259824
>>84260154
>>84259980
kek

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>>84257639
>import millions of third worlders and promise them free money if they vote for you
>bus people that don't even speak English around to the polls and make sure they know how to vote for Hillary
>fight against laws requiring voters to have a simple ID card because you know you'd lose millions of votes if you couldn't cheat
>still lose

>>84269994
100% smug

>>84257639
the sheer amount of replies this has just proved how triggered the trumpfags get

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>>84261997
>My product is a literal dog turd
>Barbara: Have you seen Cousins Maine Lobster? They're doing fantastic, so well in fact there's no reason for me to have another client on board. I'm out.
>Daymond: I'm pretty much never in and if I am its usually something stupid or because the pitcher is black. I'm out.
>Lori: I cant put it on QVC and you already patented it so I'm out.
>Kevin: all roads lead back to Mr. Wonderful. I will give you a million dollars for that turd but I want 70% of the company plus a 1 dollar royalty in perpetuity everytime you sell that turd.
>Mark goes on a tirade about how degrading dog turds are and how he thinks its a scam and he hates scams and hates the pitcher who should be ashamed for being alive
>any other guest: I started [Product or Service] so I'll give you what you want even though this deal will probably fall apart after the show.
Robert: I'll give you exactly what you're asking for and more and I want 0% of the company, but there's a contingency here, you have to be my best friend!
>pitcher goes with Kevin

>>84262338

Kevin O'Leary said that guy looked like a "meathead" in the segment. How do you take credit for that?

BIAOTCH