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Hey /tv/, I had this really fucking weird dream last night about a film idea.
So the film starts with Brendan Fraser sobbing in a shitty apartment wishing he could go back to the good old days where people loved him and he could get a job by fucking breathing; he decides to try out for some auditions but gets laughed away by various directors and talent agencies by being a wash out and a has been.
Brendan Fraser then thinks it over and says that his career as an actor may be over, but his career as a director may just be around the corner, other actors like Affleck had done it, why couldn't he?
No actors will join him on his escapades of creating a new film that will blow the box office apart, so he has to go up to some really awful actors and actresses, Shaquille O'Neill, Vanilla Ice, Madonna, Sandra Bullock, Pamela Anderson and Russel Brand.
So everything is going poorly in this new action film where Shaq and Ice are daring agents looking to retrieve an artefact known as the offering, the foot of Tezcatlipoca, an obsidian artefact with hidden magical powers, Madonna is a Russian lady in charge of a huge group of bloodthirsty treasure hunters, one of them could be Christopher Waltz to make the film seem like it's trying or something.
The directing is going awfully as Brendan Fraser can't lead a team of awful actors/actresses and so, nearly giving up, goes out and gets pissed feeling that his life will amount to nothing, getting a noose ready and tying it to the side of a bridge, he hears a man say 'Oh hai Brendan'. He turns and it's Tommy Wiseau.
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>>84210991
(Cont)
Tommy Wiseau now comes in and says he wants to co-direct and have a starring role in the film, Brendan reluctantly agrees and then has Sandra Bullock keep him in check as she plays the role of the agent's advisor, so they have to run lines by one another every now and then.
They run the film and Pamela Anderson as the villain, Xipe Totec rips people to shreds in a gore orgy as Ice and Shaq do what they can to beat her; Russel Brand comes in as Quetzalcoatl and they have a huge fight as the building collapses, the team grab the foot and the gods wage a huge battle in the ensuing Chaos.
Wiseau pilots a helicopter and everyone escapes, the film is recorded, everyone is happy and they await the premier; on the night, everyone is laughing and we see all the hokey acting and awful CGI; critics cannot believe themselves having just seen JJ Abrams ‘Star Film: It just prints money’. The critics rate it a respectable 7/10 as the film is corny over the top action with some of the shoddiest acting that they believe is deliberate.
Fraser reflects on his career, the cast all humbly celebrate and their careers may finally be on the up and up; Fraser then looks to see what he can do next to keep the ball rolling…
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>>84210991
>>84211007
You sound like you're genuinely autistic.
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