> Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man

>Nice beaver.

>Thank you, I just had it stuffed

>Cheer up, Ed. This isn't goodbye. It's "I won't ever see you again."

I....fell!
...on a rake!

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>>84195449

Bingo.

I've been swimming in raw sewage. I love it.

I love it!

...

...

I LOVE IT!

>>84196889
In the censored TV version he just says "Nice one!" making the scene much more filthy than it was before they censored it. And of course completely spoiling the joke.

>Tonight he is being honored for his 1000th drug dealer killed

>Thank you Commissioner. In all honesty the last two I backed over with my car...but luckily, they turned out to be drug dealers.

>Who are you? How did you get in here!?

>I'm a locksmith, and I'm a locksmith.

>Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes

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> Hector Savage from Detroit

>>84197348
Hey I remember this thug. Ex-boxer, his real name was Joey Chicago. He fought under the name of Kid Minneapolis.

>>84197568
I saw Kid Minneapolis fight once. In Cincinnati.

>>84197658
No, you're thinking of Kid New York, he fought outta Philly.

>Who are you and how did you get in here?
>I'm a locksmith, and I'm a locksmith.

>>84197678
Killed in the ring in Houston...by Tex Colorado.
You know, the Arizona Assassin?

Yeah, from Dakota. I don't remember it was North or South.

>>84197925
North, South Dakota was his brother.

From West Virginia

>>84197213
Ha ha ha!

Naked Gun is so great.

Frank, they're not here for you. Weird Al Yankovic is on the plane.

>>84196985
I'm sure it was a nice one. Priscilla Presley looked delcious at the time. She had a full set of curves, and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day.

>The suspect was Caucasian..

>Caucasian?

>You know, white guy. He was tall, with a mustache, about 6 foot 3...

>Awfully long mustache.

>>84198120
The kind of body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room.

>Oh, it's all right. I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?

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I'm boiling a roast. How hot and wet do you like it?

Well, looks like the cows have come home to roost.

>>84197960
You sure know your boxing.

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His strong manly hands stroked every crevice of her silken femininity. Their bodies writhed in undulating passion as he plunged his purple headed warrior into her quivering mound of love pudding.

>>84198179
Very hot, and awfully wet.

Alright! Throw down your weapon and come on out with your hands up. Or, come on out, then throw down your weapon. Just remember these two keys points: 1.) Guns to be thrown down 2.) Come on out

> burglary, arson and.... assault with a concrete dildo?

I want a car out front! Something fun. A Porsche!
Then I want a plane ticket to Jamaica. And I want a nice hotel, no touristy place! Something really indicative of the people and their culture.

>>84198214
All I know is don't bet on the white guy

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> it's just that no matter where i look, something always reminds me of her.

who else is almost dead?

>>84198406
I'm sorry I can't hear you. Don't fire the gun while you're talking!

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>>84198406
It rhymes

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Is this transphobia?

>>84198931
kek what game is this

>>84198934
I could be the fruitiest gay homosexual pole smoker, but when i saw a dick that bent, that'd be too much.

>>84199007
Resident Evil, though I don't recognise which game.

>let me take away that urine sample from you, Frank

>>84198931
That's so bad it's great, because it's directly mimicing how the games are played and showing how silly it looks. It's like the first person sequence in the Doom movie.

>>84199007
Not a game, actually. It's a Resident Evil CGI movie that came out recently.

>>84199070
That's ridiculous, I love how at 5 seconds the white haired guy swings and fires the gun as if it was a baseball bat or sword with momentum

>>84198934
I say no. It's completely normal for a straight man to be grossed out by a penis, especially one that close to his face.

"Sam, play our song. One more time."
* DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD, WHICH OLD WITCH? THE WICKED WITCH..."

Ahhh, the Naked Gun movies. From a simpler time. When we thought Anna Nicole Smith was hot, and before we knew to be scared of OJ Simpson.

>>84196939
One of my all time favorites.

>>84199413
99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!

>>84197239
Literally my favorite line from the show

>cigarette?
>yes I know

>Ed, my man.

>We missed you last night at the fondue parlor.

>Yeah, I went to see the Village People, they are stone cold gas, man

>Ah, I can dig it

>>84199703
How's the weather in Milwaukee?

Ed, I'm onto something big here. I'm gonna need you and Noidberg.......what's he doing in Detroit? Well send him a plane ticket and a clean pair of pants.

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>>84199893

We call it the Denver Jockstrap

Well, i first discovered it with my uncle in the back yard. I couldn't get it up as high as he does and after a while it hurts.

>>84198759
Kek

My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad. There'd been a recent wave of gorgeous fashion models found naked and unconscious in laundromats on the West Side. Unfortunately, I was assigned to investigate holdups of neighborhood credit unions. I was across town doing my laundry when I got the call on the double killing.

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>>84197323

>>84194615
>As soon as Nordberg gets better he's welcome back on the squad
>...unless he's a drooling vegetable but I think that's only common sense.

>>84202644
By the way, I wouldn't wait to fill out those organ donor cards.

F

https://youtu.be/pNdtLURhj3Q

>>84198162
My favorite line

>That's the red-light district. I wonder why Savage is hanging around down there.
>Sex, Frank?
>Uh, no, not right now, Ed.

>>84197323
Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way around

>All right. Where is Hapsburg?
>*groans in pain*
>Where were you hit?
>It's not that. You're on my groin!
>Oh. Sorry. All right, now! Where is he?
>You're too late. Hapsburg has plan "B" in...In... In...
>*dies*
>Where? Where? All right. Who else is almost dead? Okay, now. Talk!
>You're too late, Drebin.
>He already said that.
>Where did he leave off?
>Uh, "Hapsburg has plan "B" in...".
>Oh, yeah. Hapsburg has plan "B" in... In...
>Where? Where? Talk, you low-life scum!
>Gee. If that's your attitude, forget it!

>>84199440
>and before we knew to be scared of OJ Simpson.
That shit was so real. He was America's sweetheart in football, everyone liked him. He felt like the least likely person to do it.

>>84203530
unreal, I meant

>>84198759

That entire intro is perfect
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtR0F3wndfI

>OH MY GOD, IT'S DISGRUNTED POSTAL WORKERS!

>>84198120
>>84198149
yeah, she was the kind of woman who reminded you of your mother all right.

I haven't had this much sex since I was a boy scout leader!

>>84204007

Anon snap out of it. You're looking at her like she's your mother for chrissake!

If anyone hasn't watch the original Police Squad series, make sure you do that.
Shit is fucking golden.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=het1kl-A8qw

Why can't movies like this be made anymore? Movies that are unironic dumb fun that isn't afraid to throw out a dumb joke if they can follow it up with 3 good ones after.

>>84204493
It's not just that, these movies wouldn't work if Leslie Nielsen wasn't the lead. You can make dumb movies but most people would have the characters be in on the joke. But like everyone knows, what makes these movies brilliant is that everyone in-universe treats everything dead serious like this is a proper crime movie, no matter how wacky the circumstances are.

And that's way harder to write than most think.

>>84204493
>dumb fun
I object to that description.
Police Squad and The Naked Gun have a large amount of physical comedy but also a very large amount of wordplay and visual gags that require the audience to pay attention.
Hell, that's the whole reason why Police Squad got cancelled in the first place. Because it expected the audience to pay attention while watching the show instead of checking out mentally.

As for why they can't make them anymore, probably because the popular market lowered their standards for spoof movies until we end up with shit like Meet the Spartans or The Starving Games where the rapid fire slapstick and wordplay has been replaced with references and pastiches of popular culture without any good writing or gags backing it up.

Plus, there's also just cinematic laziness in general as well as the trend in comedies to be more self-aware instead of sincere.

>Une film de David Zucker

>>84204642
It's hard to believe that Zucker and Abrahams could do such garbage films as pretty much everything they've done since the last Naked Gun.

>May I offer you a drink?
>Sure, go ahead.
>Scotch?
>I don't drink. But thanks for the offer.

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>Entering without a search warrant, destroying property, arson; sexual assault with a concrete dildo? What the hell were you doing there in the first place?