'Transformers: The Last Knight' Review: Michael Bay's

Can't he just go back to small scale stuff like Pain and Gain? He can still do action sequences and explosions and get A-listers, but also make films worth seeing.

>>84168162
Pain and Gain was pretty good, I admit. Though I still think Bay is fucked up in the head to turn a true story about torture and murder into a goofy comedy.

>>84168105
>wtf I love transformers now
how fucking vapid does that effeminate millenial asshole has to be to claim intellectual superiority because he doesn't like fucking transformer movies, what a cunt.

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>Toxic

>>84168279

That was the major gripe of critics too. I guess we're supposed to feel bad for the victims being made into a farce, but the movie portrayed them as awful people too. Maybe he should pick the same thing but go further back in history.

>>84168105
So it seems like every capeshit movie out there

>>84168105
After Wonder Woman I don't trust in critics anymore

>>84168393

Why not after Ghostbusters 2016?

>>84168459
Why not after Jurassic world?

>>84168459
Why not Zoidberg?

>>84168485
Didnt Ghostbusters come out before Jurassic World?

Toxic is a word used by people who hate white masculinity, so I imagine this movie is full of it and that's why they hate it.

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>>84168105
>le reddit snarky non-review

>>84168547
last one has some shit about sex with a minor being legal if this and that, so he probably did more of the same

>>84168105
>filename
nice touch

Bay be like: Bitch i aint got time to read the review, im already making the next one because i got millions and millions of dollars for it

>>84168894
I think the most successful directors, at least in terms of making money, are the ones who ignore the critics. Because time and again, the critics' opinions are not in line with the average viewers. Which is why I find it really weird that when people report on how a film is doing critically they act as if scathing critical reviews are representative of the public opinion.

>>84168299

>I don't like his tone so his point is incorrect

>>84168983
Well, people need their justifications for hating on a movie other people like. Lest they have to form an opinion of their own.

>>84168498
Go away zoidberg!

>>84168547
It actually had fem nest shit in it but so in your face it put you in an 5 second coma.

>>84168162
>>84168279
I LIKED THE PART WHEN THE FAT GIRL WANTED TO FUCK THE BLACK GUY IT WAS SO FUNNY.

I CLAPPED

>>84169684
I don't remember that part.

>>84168105
I am buying a ticket just to stick it to faggots like this

>>84168105
>It's not just that he is killing the art of movies

If this guy says this but gives the MCU good reviews he should kill himself out of shame.

>>84169800
>If this guy says this but gives the MCU good reviews he should kill himself out of shame.
Since we have his name, let's check.

http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/reviews/guardians-of-the-galaxy-vol-2-movie-review-still-a-blast-w478256

>Or you can banish all the psychological probing and just roll with the nonstop fun and games. Gunn never runs out of fresh funny business for the Guardians. There are monsters to vanquish (Abilisk, yikes!), hilarious bits to invent (Groot and the Death Button!), insults to fire off (Rocket to Quinn: "Hope daddy isn't as much of a dick as you are, orphan boy"), and more sequels to set up (look for Avengers: Infinity War next year). Remarkably, Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 still has the loosey-goosey feel of a rogue epic that the kids made when the grown-ups weren't watching. Only a turd blossom could resist it.

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>>84168894
>got no time to read reviews while in working on the sequel!

>>84169859
Is that a picture of Michael Bay? He looks like a fucking giraffe.

>>84169722
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_j83oGnnt4

>>84168105
not just this, but capeshit too.

>>84168499
No, they are a year apart. JW was 2015.

>>84169896
That's a pretty sexy accent. Who is this actress?

>>84169781
I, too, buy tickets to films I have no intention to see. I use them as impromptu toilet paper.

>>84170039
ur mom XD

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>>84169853
well well well, what do we have here hmh

>>84170152
No, admittedly my mother is much more attractive.

>2017
>every other wide release film is capeshit
>makes billions
>praised to the sky by useless paid "critics"
>somehow a dumb robot movie is what's "most toxic"

>>84170039
think she was fat amy in pitch perfect

>>84170419
I really don't understand where this guy gets off using "toxic." Since when have the Transformers films ever espoused bigotry?

>>84168105
Any time some diseased fuckhole uses the terms:
"toxic" or "objectifying women", I reflexively take the opposite opinion and make a plan to piss on their grave.

>>84169853
>>84168105
>it falls to the "turd-blossoms" to recognize that a movie is "a turd" and to "flush" it
pottery

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>>84168105

>stonehenge
>sacred

Ancient ruins are all fake. Blame the Masons. We have not been here that long.

>>84170748
This guy seems to have a strange fascination with turds.

>>84168393
it took you Wonder Woman to do that?
they falling head over heels over Guardians Of The Galaxy and Ant-Man made me question my tastes but then they groveled over TFA and that did it for me

>>84171238
Now, admittedly Guardians of the Galaxy wasn't as good as it could have been, but I have to say, Vol. 2 was a genuinely good film. I don't have a problem with the critics praising it, if anything it bothers me that most of them can't shut up about how "it's not as good as the original" when it is actually better in a few ways.

>>84170627
Anything not actively tearing down white men is toxic.

>reviewers shitting on Transformers
Just more transphobia in action, I see.

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>>84171754
>>84171498
Do you guys have any idea how fucking cringey you are inserting your lame /pol/shit into every thread? Embarrassing tbqh

>>84171821
It's called a joke, fatass. Lighten up.

Wont read the review, wont watch last knight until i can put it on in the background at home. Transformers movies are fine until the transformers or military soldier faggots come on screen. Then the movie turns into dogshit until it ends.

>>84168572
Snarky non review that are not posted on 4chan are Reddit now
0/10

>>84172591
What the fuck do you watch a Transformers movie for if not for the Transformers?

>>84168356
>a black comedy made fun of real people who died

Nobody gives a shit and RLM showed what faggots they were when they dedicated so much time to this issue.

>>84172721
>RLM showed what faggots they were when they dedicated so much time to this issue.
What the fuck are you talking about?

>>84169684
Ever had an opinion of your own or do you let Mike & Jay do all your thinking for you?

>>84172727
In their review of it they acted like this was some reprehensible line Michael Bay was crossing.

Ignoring all the times they've done the exact same shit. They just wanted to shit on a Bay movie and couldn't come up with legitimate reasons so they came off like hypocrites.

>>84168105
Does that mean /we/ like it now? Is it true Transformers kino?

I saw this tonight. better than the last one. far less product placement and far less pandering to China.

Anhony hopkins had some great lines but the film was still pretty silly and unnecessary.

>>84172787
When did they do the exact same thing?

>Michael Bay finally quits Transformers
>it immediately becomes a yearly franchise where the films are made without any regard for how they'll be received because they are completely secure in the fact that they will be financially successful

What's up with that?

>>84168105
Fuck critics,this was the best one! I don't trust them after TFA and GotG! Shitty movies!

>>84173134
The BEST ONE? Really?

>>84168299
>effeminate millenial asshole

That reviewer's been reviewing for Rolling Stone since 1989, you plebbit casual

>>84173507
Effeminate Gen X asshole, then.

>>84171821
White Knight detected. How's your fedora?

>>84173867
Last Knight detected.*

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>>84170419
This always baffled me. It can't possibly be worse than GotG.

I just watched it what a fucking awful movie, just a bloated mess. Also that black knight of the round table, we wuz knights nigga.

>>84174123
What exactly is wrong with GotG. Explain to me.

>>84168162
>>84168279
Christ, /tv/. PaG sucks, at least post something like Bad Boys 2.

>>84174716
......................Shit just got real.

>>84168105
>My dream is that this whole tapped-out robo series will transform into a turd and audiences will have the good sense to flush it.

This person gets money for writing.

>>84174150
>Also that black knight of the round table, we wuz knights nigga.

I assume he was supposed to be Morie, makes more sense than King Arthur's Bedivere being black just cuz

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moriaen

>>84175140
Not a surprise that racist memers on /tv/ don't know anything about history.

>>84172666
linkin park background music

>>84168105
I'm gonna go watch it in a couple of hours.
Got free cinema tickets, otherwise I wouldn't bother.
I don't really mind the other Transformer films even though it's just explosions and CGI clusterfuck.

>>84172949
Making fun of dead people is kind of their thing. Watch best of the worst.

>>84177755
Did they actually continue to use Linkin Park songs after the first one? That's the only one I watched.

What songs can I look forward to if I continue the series?

>>84168105
>planet-saving battle at Stonehenge (is nothing sacred?)
Hasn't he already blown up Petra and the Pyramids of Giza? Stonehenge isn't that impressive in comparison.

>>84178863
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbyzgeee2mg

>>84171238
Even the guy in the seat next to me groaned at Guardians. I honestly can't believe I saw the same movie the critics did.

I almost suspect it was paid, because the idea is so stupid to begin with, maybe they said "oh shit, we made a retarded movie, lets pretend its fun quirky and unique and get critics writing that everywhere, maybe the plebs will buy it"

>>84172666
Ask all the 13 year olds that watched for Megan Fox

>>84178982
You're probably too young to enjoy it. My parents love Guardians because it has tons of music from their time.

>>84177834
Give us your thoughts after you've seen it. The thread will probably still be up.

>>84168485
Why not after The Force Awakens?

>>84180302
This

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>>84168459
these are critics...

>>/tv/'s so contrarian it defends transformers movies.
Why they're just 2 and a half hours of Bay wanking off the US military (and china in the 4th the because he like money even more then his jingoism).
The humans are retarded and get to much screen time
The Transformers are useless, hideous and perfunctory.
The stories don't make sense or fit together at all.
And the action isn't even good because 90% of the time its humans on transformers with the humans winning even Prime only gets like one action scene per flim.

>>84181083
Is there anything wrong with wanking off the US military? They're fucking awesome.

>>84169853
>and more sequels to set up (look for Avengers: Infinity War next year).
This is something he includes as a positive. Cunt.

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>>84176612
And it's no surprise that you don't.

Why bother learn history when you can rewrite it?

>>84181138
Because I paid for transforming alien fights not a 2hour long US recrutment ad?
Besides in the lore transformers can shrug off most human weapons short of tactical missiles and or nukes, it takes the Army what one battle to arm themselves with with ap rounds that foot soldiers can use to take the bayformers out.

>>84170039
Rebel wilson our greatest australian mistake.

>>84169888
It's the le epic rap battle guy as Bay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wYtG7aQTHA

>>84174716
>PaG sucks
Anon I...

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Just came back from watching TLK

What a trainwreck

>Squeeks is literally a retarded child robot, was shot from the start and never repaired, the only thing it ever said is mumbling 'chihuahua'

>Suicide Squad-like sequence when Megatron striked a deal with the humans, he demanded his captured decepticons to be freed by drafting them one by one, pending approval from government agent man. The decepticons had a generic action shot, froze frame, then their name is printed in big red letters, just like in Suicide Squad. A few of them were killed quickly too, within the next 20 mins or so

>barely any fights, Megatron barely got any screen time. Megatron is someone else's (quintessa) lackey once again

>the tough little girl who needs no man was a pointless character, you could've removed all the scenes with her in it and the movie wouldn't be any different

>they tried to shove in too many plot points and end up zipping you through scene by scene as quickly as possible. Feels like I'm watching a shitty youtube video with tons of jump cuts

>too much suspension of disbelief. Before the final fight in the last 20 mins, Megatron and co acted surprised to be ambushed by the humans, even though they were in an open grass field with nothing blocking their view, and they could've seen the tanks and soldiers closing in on them in all directions from miles away

>Cogman was introduced as a headmaster, but they never did anything with it. He was in his humanoid form the whole movie

>the cerberus transformer is actually formed by the ancient 12 knight transformers combined together, cerberus never transform into robot mode

>earth is Unicron. They hinted at Unicron actually appearing in the next movie

tl;dr I got bamboozled by Michael Bay again. 2/10 would not recommend. The toys are godlike this time, though. Especially Voyager Megatron and Hound

>>84180961
But anon, it's got hehs, and hahs, and LOLZ!
This is what mike and jay at RLM are still poor rapists; they don't describe the huehuehues they get enough.

>>84168105
So it's kino, huh? "Toxic" is code word for "good."

>>84172664
Wait so 4chan reviews are counted on review aggregate sites now? I had no idea!

>>84173528
Travers is at least 50.

>>84171238
when I saw GotG there was literally a dude in a fedora and trench coat laughing at all the groot jokes. I already thought it was fucking stupid but that moment solidified in me that pop culture was a braindead and raped walking corpse and that I was lucky enough to be on the outside of it

>>84181522
>earth is Unicron.

Why

>>84181771
50 year olds are gen X you fucking idiot

>>84169800
>>84169853
Really makes me think! Wait so shills are still imaginary right?

>>84169853
>look for Avengers: Infinity War next year

So this is the power of paid shills.

>>84181829
LMAO

I said at least 50, not exactly 50, you dumb fucking faggot.

I remember reading about Bay expressing a desire over making smaller movies while Spielberg (producer of these) pushed him to continue, that's when I lost a bit of respect for him.
How much more money do you need?

Why do these movies get 17% on rotten tomatoes when every generic Capeshit flick gets 80%+?

IF, and I don't know, pop culture is right and Stonehenge is a pagan site, how could it be sacred? Is this reviewer a pagan druid believer?

>>84181522
>earth is Unicron
Unicron in the Transformers movie was voiced by Orson Welles.....I feel there's a joke to be made here.

>>84168299
You're millenial too you fucking moron.

>>84182187
Point?

>>84168279
Except the writers wrote it as a dark comedy in mind

>>84173507
>Rolling Stone
garbage SJW magazine

>>84168105
I don't like Bay or the Transformers movies however the amount of hate he gets from people is fucking insane. Everyone makes him sound like he's the next Ed Wood or something when his worst crime is just making dumb action movies that always feel like they're a half hour longer than they should be.

>>84181522
>next movie
I thought this was the last one?

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>>84181785
But you gotta admit teen groot is GOAT.

It truly is a marvel at how they managed to make a worse movie than the second one.

>>84182671
>the next Ed Wood
Don't lump Ed in with Michael Bay trash. You could at least enjoy Ed Wood for its camp value, which is exceedingly high.

Get stoned and watch Ed Wood: Laugh.

Get stoned and watch Michael Bay: Cry.

>>84182039
Well, for starters, those movies don't have a giant robot with testicles or dogs humping.

>>84168393
After every single mcu movie not being rotten i dont trust critics anymore

>>84168105
>Bay has set a pattern that can go on poisoning the well as long this stuff turns a profit. It's not just that he is killing the art of movies

How are marvel movies any different and why do they get a pass?

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>>84169853

>>84171403
Guardians of the galaxy 2was shit. Plain and simple that. Shit

>>84183310
>But you gotta admit teen groot is GOAT.

literally me: the tree

>>84171821
>Lame unPC joke
>MUH /POOOOOOOOOOOOOOL/
You must be that Reddit tranny.

>>84181522
Its taken you 5 movies. I thought I was slow to get it after the 3rd train wreck.

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>>84181805
Now, too be fair, Unicron was actually Earth's core in Transformers Prime, and they still managed to make it work.

No doubt Bay will fuck this up, though.

>>84183310
kill yourself

>>84183527
>Get stoned and watch Michael Bay: Cry.
Yeah see this is the kind of shit I'm talking about. Bay makes bad movies but they're not that bad.

>>84168105
>planet-saving battle at Stonehenge (is nothing sacred?)
Why do they care about Stonehenge? Are we pretending that nigger built it?

>>84186268
Hey, don't get me wrong. There's inherent value to this movie for me because I grew up on G1 so just seeing these characters brought to life is worth the ticket price.

But you can't really argue for Bay beyond "he produces effects-driven by-the-number action films with few surprises.

>>84186368
>But you can't really argue for Bay beyond "he produces effects-driven by-the-number action films with few surprises.
Oh I'm not but that's kind of my point. He just makes really bland dumb summer action movies I just don't see what's so offensively bad about his movies that gets all this vitriol from people. In fact I wish they were as bad as people make them out to be because at least then they'd actually have something interesting to check out even if it's just to see how hard the director screwed up.

>>84186480
It's a meme.

>>84168105
he gave Alien 3/4 so prob not

>>84168105
How the movie was filmed was really jarring, like the aspect ratio kept changing. It wasn't even in action scenes it was done in dialogue scenes too. The acting was abysmal, but Hopkins was alright. There was long periods of the movie without the Transformers, and Prime is barely in it himself, and the resolution to how he's evil doesn't even make sense from the franchise's standpoint.

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>Your argument that women are responsible for bad movies seems untenable. With respect, your movies aren't even aimed at women.

Hey, fuckly, listen to me, my movies exist because of women, because they've driven men batshit crazy into 'man caves' and Call Of Duty XI. Did they have giant robot movies in the 1930s and 40s? No, all of those movies had dance numbers. Back when a guy could punch a dame for overcooking a chicken there was no shame in watching some fool tap dance his way through WWII. Now these bitches expect you to change a diaper and shave your balls? Fuck that. Giant robots.

>Is all modern cinema then reflexively phallocentric? Does disposable art created on a background of consumerist capitalism necessitate a misogynist subtext?

I said fuck that. Giant robots.

http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2011/07/my_name_is_michael_bay_and_i_j.html

>>84171821
My sister was reading your comment over my shoulder and couldn't believe a valiant 4channer would say such a thing and now she wants to fuck you.

>>84174694
too many white males anon. not enough people of color

>>84168162
He wants to
that was why he originally stepped out after TF3
Basically, Bay makes movie companies so much money they wont let him do anything BUT blockbusters.
He got pulled back in to TF4 because after the universal studios ride opened, he realized that his transformers were THE transformers for a whole new generation, and he felt bad leaving it without setting up a new path for a new director.
That's why AoE got a visual makeover, a bunch of new characters, new lead, and started focusing more on the idea that earth and cybertron are connected (themes followed up by TLK)
He could safely leave for TF6, and it'd be pretty much required to go the way he wanted it to.

The biggest issue with the last 2 TFs is bonaventura anyways. He's the one that keeps cobbling scripts together.