Why was it so bad? How did it capture none of the charm

>>83782623
The whole murders and drug dealing didn't fit in. They also wasted R rating for a fucking dick.

none of the actors are likable

I thought it was #LITTY
Maybe Raunchy R-Rated Comedies are not for you, but for the fans.

>>83782649
Original series

>Mitch is cheesy goodhearted believably fit lifeguard trying to raise his son

Movie

>Mitch is alpha "big dick" f-word spewing juicehead whose physique makes no sense for a lifelong lifeguard

>>83782649
Cut the dick scene and remove the F bombs and it's a safe PG-13 movie.
Honestly the over excessive use of F bombs is what made it rated R, I think.

>>83782623
I dunno I didn't see it

>>83782623

>keep the hotshot olympian idea
>make him havea rivalry with the rock to see who can save the most lives over the summer
>becomes less about saving lives and oneupmanship, tits get exposed during this
>someone nearly dies while they fight to see who saves them
>get their shit together for a real crisis
>Rock punches out a shark because fuck it, it's the Rock
>Beach is safe tits get exposed again

EASY

>>83782790
this is actually a lot closer to the original movie/pilot

had the hot shot lifeguard angle and even had nudity, but kept the hamfisted PG morals of the show

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>>83782623
I unironically think Hoff Mitch looks waaay better than The Rock both facially and body wise. Turbo DILF.

>peak performance

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>>83782830
where was this part in the new movie?

>>83782882
kek cute

>let's make a baywatch movie
>no, let's make a vehicle for the Rock to play his shitty douchebag self

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>>83782830

Hoff can actually grow chest hair as well because he's not a roid freak.

>>83783030
Damn, Rock is such a manlet.

>>83782830
hoff is natty, the rock is like a belgian blue

>>83783030
hoff has aged pretty fucking well from doing this shit in the 90s

>>83782623
haha, CRITIC detected, sorry bro, this RAUNCHY R-RATED PISS-WORTHY comedy is only for the FANS to get LITTY with over SUMMER!

Nobody watched Baywatch for the male characters.

>>83782623
Because you're a critic and not a FAN. It's not rocket science

>>83783079

And all the while apparently battling alcoholism.

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posting best girl

>>83782882

He got cucked by Chad Surfercock

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>>83783118

>>83782882
>>83783125
>angry crying cancer victim.jpg

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Donna was and still is best girl

>>83783030

island niggers are generally hairless to begin with

is it just me or was the CGI in this really shitty?

i promise im not a critic

>>83783226

He's not full Samoan anyway he's like a 1/4 black too.

>>83783301
Well, I only watched cam but the fire looked really horrible. Almost PS2 graphics tier.

>>83783148
wew, i liked summer a lot, but yeah, this girl was pure sex

does Rock EVER take his shoes off in this movie?

entire plot line around the dorky guy was so bad

>>83783347
Afro American people have bodyhair because they're part white bro

>>83783221
jesus, i'm a child again

>can't just be lifeguards doing hokey shit
>we're basically like beach cops bro

>>83783377
>polygon floats by you

>>83782623

nobody really loved the original tv series, it was just the only thing you could jerk off to before internet porn

They took the 22 Jump Street approach of using the name to make an unrelated comedy. Not enough people like Baywatch like OP to care. Jump Street did have an awesome cameo from the original cast if I remember right though.

>>83782830
Is this something people would question? The Rock is by no means ugly or non charming but I dont see people calling him handsome.

>>83783543
>nobody really loved the original tv series

Shut the fuck up if you don't know what you're talking about, it was one of the most famous and highly rated shows of its time GLOBALLY.

you're like someone saying St. Elsewhere was just another doctor show, be quiet.

>>83783623
>it was one of the most famous and highly rated shows of its time GLOBALLY.

because kids were jacking it to titties in bathing suits

nobody has any desire to see Baywatch in 2017

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>>83783462
come here anon and let me save you

>>83783687
i think it's more something dads put on that they could pretend had a good message while building up spank bank material

gotta remember the state of internet porn back then. almost nonexistent

>>83782623
>How did it capture none of the charm of the original?

Charm?

It was campy bullshit at the best. No one ever took it for more. We are living in a different era of SJW rule and you better like dicks instead because celebrating white male dicks is popular. You can't be straight today, faggot. Assimilate!!

WTF was with the Tag Heuer watch plot piece in this movie

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FM3AsUkT6ng
please tell me this is in the movie

>>83783814
>You can't be straight today, faggot. Assimilate!!
How the fucking fuck did you get THAT out of the movie? 2/3 of the main guys were chasing pussy from their first scene on.

>>83783623

this, the Hoff is the world's biggest star of all time

>>83782623
Women aren't as attractive as they were in the 90's

Zac Efron is a charisma black hole and him and the Rock are both literally painful to look at with their mutilated, circus freak, roid bodies.

>>83783073
Hoff sued the manufacturer of his roids in the 90s because it gave him bitch tits.

>>83782830
>>83783079

What fucking year is this?

>>83784002
Anyone who uses roids gets bitch tits if they keep roiding without actually lifting too.

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>saves your life

They used an old tv show and turned it into a meme movie like 21 Jump Street right?

>>83784165
but 21 jump street was really funny though
although it may only be due to Jonah Hill's comedic talent

>>83784165
this version doesn't know whether it wants to be a comedy or a rock vehicle or a swat team or a fast and the furious movie

>>83782623
The Rock isn't funny. Neither is Zac Efron. Casting them in this was the first and gravest mistake.

>>83782623
Idk, I liked it. I also have never watched the TV show its based on. A lot of comedies I like are this way critically panned but the average dude likes it

there was no need for this to be Rated R

probably alienated a lot of their would be audience to go the deadpool route, and then they just waste it on needless F bombs and half sec scene of morgue dick

>>83782707

this is the most offensive part

Hoff should have been Mitch and the Rock plays the Rock, which is all he can play anyway