You wake up one morning and read that The Thing is real and has

laugh because americans are degenerate and deserve it

Kill myself

>>83655837
probably this senpai

>>83655837

Yep. I'd at least try if it was xenomorphs or zombies or some other shit. But I ain't even gonna try with that fucker.

>>83655794
Suicide because if it's spotted pretty much anywhere else but a lifeless wasteland than it's already won.

Spotted somewhere out in the american plains? World is fucked as every blade of grass, insect, bird, bee, mosquito, tree, cow, ect is possibly a thing and constantly spreading itself.

World is 100% fucked. Best to kill self before it takes you.

>>83655837
>not planning on fighting it with your countrymen

no you just give up

you sicken me

>>83655825
it'll spread global within a few days anyway

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>>83655794
>I have no visitors

gg thing but I have no one group to worry about telling you apart from

>>83655825
We would actually be better prepared for it, because the Thing was in our Antarctic base. Don't know how prepared the other countries will be considering that they may consider The Thing a demonic creature rather than an alien based on the information from the Antaractic base arriving to the U.S. computers first, because the lead characters were contacting the U.S. so we would know first and how to handle it.

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>>83655794
I have no worries. I am 100% positive that this Cheeto Puff Fascist would nuke The Thing before it had the chance to cause any harm.

>>83655913
How can you possibly fight it once it's had a day to assimilate hundreds of thousands? And will then just grow exponentially from there? You won't even be able to trust any of your countrymen let alone fight with them

>>83656016
with fire and shit duh

just gotta wait for the nukes to land and everyone to figure it out, then it's go time baby

>>83655967
The information from the Arctic never got out though. Macready says he was going to hide the tape he was making for when the rescue team came along. By the time the rescue team comes and brings the information back it'd be far too late to devise any strategy - the Thing could have infected hundreds of thousands by that point

>>83655794
being infected by the thing doesn't seem that bad dezu. You just kinda stop being alive at some point. Being killed by the Thing looks like it sucks tho.

>>83655794
Thank god that im about to be put out of my misery

>>83656085
How can you fight it with fire if you have no way of knowing who has become a Thing? Also, are you going to nuke every city in America? You'd pretty much have to, and even that wouldn't wipe it out as there would be imitations in the rural areas by then. The Thing is frightening because it's truly unbeatable on a huge scale. Once it's gotten out of containment there's no way you could find every last imitation, and as long as there's an imitation out there it can infect more people.

>>83655794
Laugh because I live in Alaska and it's getting sent back to the icy hell it came from.

>>83655913
How do you plan on fighting something that could be literally anything composed of biological cells?

What are you gonna do, wipe out every single bird, mosquito, fly, and gnat? Oh and if one of them so much as touches you at any time, you've been infected and will eventually become a thing.

Like, all it has to do is take some mosquitos and that's fucking game over for life on earth. Every mosquito bite results in thingification of whatever it lands on. Any rat or fly that is eaten by another animal or interacts with it is now thingified. If any thing infiltrates a water or food supply, anyone who drinks or eats from that source is now a thing. And it's everywhere. There's no running from that, there's no hiding from that.

>>83655974
Great, you've wiped out a city and caused horrible harm to humans and their society.

Meanwhile nothing really happens to the thing as it continues to exist as possibly millions of creatures ranging from humans, to a variety of birds and insects that escaped all that shit.

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if anyones ever read this the first short story is the movie, from the things point of view. pretty crazy, the thing is confused that these life forms dont want to assimilate or mold with it, it sees a lifeform joining it as pretty much joining a superconscious and cant see why these species would want to retain individuality.

cool book, each chapter is a short story, not all of them are great but has a few gems

The only real way you could defeat the thing is to mind upload all the humans you could into mechanical bodies based on literally zero biological material.

And them completely wipe out all life on Earth, down to the very last single celled organism.

>>83656150
>nuke every city in America

obviously? at the very least ones that have had confirmed sightings or encounters. And you tell by fire. It hates fires and doesn't get near it. As long as people figure that out, it's fine. Every town gets regular blood drive screenings with makeshift flamethrowers. Every town/village/city has a wall of fire around it. Entrances are guarded and screened, everyone has some sort of protection on them. Start wiping out unconfirmed life en masse, and work on confirming

>>83656263
>What are you gonna do, wipe out every single bird, mosquito, fly, and gnat?

yes

it is your fucking obligation as a living being to contain and quarantine something that can literally wipe out any form of life it comes across. Where did this meme come from that it's useless to try because you can come up with a scenario in your head where it infects the entire country in a day? The scenario in the OP implies that people know what the thing is and that there's forewarning that it's alive and real and in your country. What a retarded fucking meme, fucking brainlets and sissies ready to give up when literally the entire world is at stake

what a fucking meme. you're all fucking memes.

>>83656352
this borders on fanboy tier "LMAO nO matter WHAT YOU DO my characters WINs!!!"

>b-but you're just killing humans that would have died anyway you're SO EVIL oh my god why would you even try to quarantine the single greatest threat to humankind that has ever been known

I hate to use this meme but you are a literal brainlet and I am disgusted by the lack of any sense of self preservation and stupidity in this thread.

Laugh hard as fuck because Canada will finally get the punishment it deserves

Nuke the whole world
If we can't have this planet then no one can

>>83656212
Alaska isn't a country, retard

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>>83656427
get a load of this faggot who wants to retain his individuality

>>83655974
bait

>>83656427
And then the Thing takes the form of a mole rat, or perhaps a fly, or maybe an ant, and infiltrates your "camps". All it has to do now is infect one, maybe two people of course and the camp is finished.
>The scenario in the OP implies that people know what the thing is and that there's forewarning that it's alive and real and in your country
What difference does that make? It's not like you people are going to be able to screen everyone or set up your imaginary highly-ordered self-sufficient societies in a matter of hours, and it would only take hours for the Thing to infect hundreds of thousands if not millions of people - and to say nothing about other bioforms!
Just face it mr. Wannabe action-hero, there would be absolutely no way to defeat the Thing if it made its way to the general population.

>>83656427
It wouldn't matter if people knew what The Thing was, anymore than it would do any good if people had some warning if the sun was going to blink out of existence in 10 minutes. You could say "it's pretty pathetic to just give up" but against something like that, all you're doing is dying tired.

You can say "you should at least try" all you want over and over, but what good is it going to do? Might as well say you could move a star if you tried hard enough.

>>83655837
spbp

>>83656556
I actually take offense to your implications about me being a wannabe action hero. What a retarded inference. It makes me even angrier because this is all bullshit and it's like a few of you are so enamored with the idea that there is literally nothing you could do, that you don't even bother to think of scenarios where maybe it doesn't fuck literally everything up. I'm going to rewatch the movie now and in about 2 hours I'm going to tell you how much of a big fat retard you are and I'm going to tell you all about how the Thing will majorly fuck up whatever it touches, but it's not some kind of unbeatable menace. Close, but not quite. Nothing is invincible. See you in two hours FAGGOT

>>83656591
Yes it does. Knowing what the Thing is in advance changes literally everything about the scenario. Complete domination is only 100% sure in the event that nobody knows what the thing is before it gets started. If you know what something is, and know its approximate location, you can quarantine it, with appropriate quarantine methods. And if people know what the Thing is, you can safely assume appropriate quarantine methods like nuking everything

>>83656096
According to the novelization, you don't even really die, you just join a hive mind. Apparently the Thing doesn't really understand the human concept of death, and thinks it's helping us. So, I suppose you'd never be lonely again. That's nice.

>>83655967
The most autistic post of the day so far

>>83656752
>that you don't even bother to think of scenarios where maybe it doesn't fuck literally everything up
Because there are no scenarios where is doesn't fuck everything up, retard. I'm not a defeatist but I'm smart enough to know when I'm beaten. We're talking about a superorganism that can assimilate and perfectly imitate any bioform. In terms of insects alone, how could you possibly catch all of the imitations? Are you going to kill every insect on Earth? Impossible. And what about birds? And remember; it only takes a few particles of this Thing to infect someone. So all that has to happen for a "safe" community to get infected is for an ant-Thing to crawl into the water supply. How can you possibly defeat something like that?

>>83655794
embrace diversity

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>>83656960
When all you look for is ways it can't be done, that is all you will find.

>>83656752
>If you know what something is, and know its approximate location, you can quarantine it

>literally trying to quarantine insects and organisms to small for humans to even decect.

If the thing only took over humans, you might have a chance.

But you're fucking high if you think there's any quarantine you could come up with that'll stop every rat, mouse, mosquito, fly, gnat, flea, mite, cockroach, worm, beetle, the list goes on.

And if any of them touches or bites you, congrats, in a short time, you'll be a new imitation.

And the imitations that are already there are going to try to sabatoge it.

Oh, what's that, a half your guards or border patrol, whatever, got bit by mosquitoes while they slept before next shift? How many of them are now things?

Even if you had ready to go heretically sealed domes that could cover shit like all of Chicago and it's suburbs, ready to go as soon as word hit the streets, you have plenty of animals that could just go under the damn thing, or escape between flight time and when it drops.
And what are you going to do about the oceans when it makes it to that ecosystem? The amazon?

What are you gonna do when there's literally no more food because every crop and domestic animal is grossly infected with these things after some imitation flys and mosquitos and rats have had a go at it.

We'd have a better shot beating Superman than The Thing.

>>83657130
How the fuck do you think this is going to be done without the Thing deciding not to thing.

It's like saying I could beat Wolverine as long as he didn't have unbreakable bones, regeneration, and years of military training. Of course you could do it as long as you ignore literally everything that makes it dangerous.

>>83655794
There isn't a word to describe it if it were to be released into the world. It be a virus/zombie/ outbreak and an alien attack.

As other anons stated: The world is FUCKED if The Thing was anywhere besides Antarctica. The movie worked because it was in a frozen wasteland devoid of natural life except for a man-made installation. Remember the part right before the guy in the glasses goes crazy where he's looking at the computer? It said that if The Thing were to reach the populous that it would assimilate the world in a matter of weeks irrc.

It's not just that it can become anybody you know without you realizing, it's that it can become a fly or a dog without you realizing it leaving literally every biological creature in suspicion. The Thing would become a literal wave of biomass in hours if it were in a jungle.

>>83657218
You seem like a smart guy. Perhaps if you put your mind to the opposite task, you might be surprised what you can accomplish.

>>83657254

Again, the only way to do it would be to fucking mind upload the entire human race into mechanical bodies or hard drives, and then kill literally every single biological cell on earth.

Which is a great idea if we lived some 400 years in the future or something, but oh wait, there's no way to do that shit with our current level of technology. As long as we possess biological forms, the thing wins by default.

>>83655794
Probably infect some more people desu famalam

suicide because im rocking the 1980 Kurt Russell haircut in 2017

>>83657254
Answer >>83657133
The Thing is unbeatable.

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>>83657330
You're not doing it, yet. You are still only thinking of ways to lose instead of ways to win. Maybe one day you'll adopt a better mindset. Hopefully. It would be such a shame to live that way forever.

>>83657440
Gr8 b8 m8.
Name even one (1) way to win

>>83657468
Oh, I haven't given it any thought, so I don't have any ideas yet. But I know one thing, the situation sure looked impossible to the people at that base but they found a way.

Had you been there, you wouldn't have come up with a blood test. You would have just concluded it was invincible. And it'd be quite the self-fulfilling prophecy.

>>83657440
You do it, think of a way to win that doesn't just involve the Thing magically deciding it's not going to imitate everything composed of cells.

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>>83657546
And now, you are foisting the responsibility to others. You won't learn that way. I'm trying to teach you self-reliance, which you don't have. First you refuse to believe the problem is solvable, and then, you demand others to solve it for you.

Believe in yourself, anon.

It takes the thing time and energy to assimilate, it's not an auyomatic process. Fire and vigilance can stop it.

>>83657544
>But I know one thing, the situation sure looked impossible to the people at that base but they found a way.

1) We aren't even sure if they got the Thing, Childs easily could be an imitation, and thus they failed.

2) Hopefully none of those burnt husks have any active cells that could survive like how Bennings got killed. So possibly fail anyway even if Childs isn't an imitation.

3) They were in Antarctica where they are literally the only living things that could be infected for hundreds of miles, not in any other part of the world where there's a few hundred thousand living things within spitting distance that could be potential things. And they effectively decided on suicidally burning everything to the ground in a last ditch effort that ended up killing them all and more than likely not even beating the thing.

So, no they didn't find a way, that was half the point of the ending. They did their best and it likely just wasn't enough.

>>83655794
NEW RULE
This is happening, so to an extent it's being reported on. But not in an honest way. If you search for it directly you will instantly find yourself in trouble with the government. How do you then try to determine how near it is to you?

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>>83657668
And that's what I want you to do. Your best. And you're not doing it right now. Rather befuddling that one man would try so hard to limit himself.

>>83657597

Assuming you even see it happen, assuming it happens to something big enough for you to actually worry about, assuming it's not just taking people over from the inside like with contaminated food or through bug bites, ect.

>>83657595
>I can't think of how to beat it
>I-I-It's on you anon
>even though I'm the one making the claim that it can be beaten
>even though I can't think of a single method of beating it

>>83657721
I want you to bench an aircraft carrier. Just do your best, give it all you've got! Don't you believe in yourself? We'll even make it one of those dinky ski slope aircraft carriers the Europeans like. C'mon, you can do it. It's only 70,000 tons, think positive!

It would be possible to destroy the thing if
a) the government knew what it was
b) the government knew where it was sighted
The solution is to firebomb everything in a 500 miles radius but it only works within a few hours of it being spotted
Don't use nukes you fucking retards

>>83657748
All I've said is that I think you are capable of more than you are currently exhibiting. Maybe it can't be beaten, but you'll only know that if you give an honest effort to try beat it before throwing in the towel.

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>>83657794
You are very talented in finding ways to avoid the problem. It's exactly why I think if you put your mind to working out how to beat the Thing, you would be just as talented.

>>83655794

look in the mirror and wonder how long it took for them to find me.....

>>83655794
Run out into the street and shout "it is I, John Carpenters the Thing! I have returned!"

>>83657859
There's also realizing your limits. Maybe it's not as 'inspirational' but it's a part of being an adult is to realistically assess things.

Things like, realizing you wouldn't survive being shot in the head multiple times.

Or being T-boned by a full speed train.

Or being able to survive shorting out a transformer at a sub station with your own body.

Or the dozens of chemicals that will close to instantly cause you immediate death in large doses that you'd have no awareness of until you're already dying.

Or being decapitated.

>>83656427
no anon
you are the memes

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>>83657979
Well, I guess if you never try, you'll never be disappointed in yourself.

Right?

So what if I told you beating the thing is possible? Now can you put your mind to the task?

>>83657395
I kinda like it desu

>browse /b/
>boipucci thread
>fap
>cry
>anhero

>>83658066
>So what if I told you beating the thing is possible?
Seems like you haven't even followed your own advice anon, seeing as you have no idea how to beat the Thing. You want people to spoonfeed you an answer to an impossible question. If you're feeling confident and positive, why don't you share your solution with us? When you inevitably refuse to (of course under the guise of 'I want you to put your mind to it') I will take it as a sure sign that you have no solution

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>>83658318
You'll take whatever is necessary to maintain the belief in your mind that this is impossible. You are once more doing everything you can to avoid tackling this problem on your own. I'm here to teach you self-reliance. What good will it do you for me to tell you the solution? Absolutely nothing.

The solution exists only for those with the will to achieve it for themselves. Do you have it?

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>>83655794
Get my ears pierced and not associate with anyone who hasn't.

>>83658419
Ahaha, what pseudo-intellectually nonsense. You want us to solve an impossible problem and spoonfeed you the answer. You try to illicit this under the guise of some painfully weak guru-esque language on 4chan. Quite pathetic.

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>>83658468
I believe that's what I've been saying the whole time. I've never hidden the fact that I want you to solve this. I believe in you, even if you don't believe in yourself.

So do you have the will?

>People spending all this time saying they can't beat The Thing yet they devote all this energy to trying to beat a relentless shitposter/baitposter
Damn this might just be the most meta thread on /tv/ right now.

>>83655967
>they may consider the Thing a demonic creature rather than an alien

Lol what

>>83658462
The Thing would learn about it and everyone would be fooled into false negatives. It only worked in that setting because no one could easily get some kind of inorganic material attacked to their body.

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>>83657330
What happens when the Thing uploads itself into the system, anon?

>>83658544
Yeah, I've wasted too much time on the retard. His patronizing language infuriated me good, I'll admit.

>>83655794
There are worst things in my country

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>>83658609
Well, maybe someday I'll find an equal on here who is also capable of solving this riddle. There's always tomorrow.

Such a shame when I have to leave a thread without getting to share the solution.

once it go to the mainland everyone would be megafucked because not only does it have infinite living things besides humans to hide inside it will also have access to our tech

even on a desolate base camp in the movie it's able to harvest parts from a broken helicopter to build a spaceship

>>83656427
This guy knows what's up. Containment measures are much more effective in the real world than films.

>>83656556
The thing can't seem to voluntarily split itself into parts unless under attack. The extended novel (which isn't really cannon but there isn't much to go off) says that the more biomass it has, the smarter it is which is why all the small versions of the thing look so retarded. You'd like keep your eyes open for the stupid squid-snake-fish-crab that a small Thing thinks is a good disguise and you'll never be in trouble from smaller entities.

>>83658746
(You)

>>83655837
Only correct fucking answer. The moment the Thing hits a populated place or touches the ocean, the entire planet is doomed. I'd honestly fap one last time and off myself with a 357.

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If I really understood what was going on, I'd just off myself.

The more one reads the franchise, ALL of the franchise and its media properties, the more one realizes that it can't meaningfully be killed. Part of its plot-armor is that it is this infinitely adaptable, strange, perfectly resilient biomass.

Burning it in an uncontrolled fashion doesn't kill it, because at least one little bit of it is yet alive, with perfect capacity to reinfect again. There is no such thing as a clean room with it in it, though the quarantine protocol is sound, though useless given the general nature of human and animal movement, bio-congress.

>>83658889
You too friend

Seal myself in fireproofed hazmat gear.

Burn everything and everyone.

The only thing that can Eliminate the Thing completely would be GORT from the 2008 remake. Once again Keanu would have to save our asses again.

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>>83659034
Forgot pic

>>83658920
if you found some practical means to contain it society would still destroy itself from the constant paranoia

i don't think its techniques are plot armor as much as they speak to the fact it's an infinitely advanced alien form beyond our comprehension. the whole cosmic horror angle.

the only reason it didn't fuck over earth from day 1 is it crash landed in a desolate wasteland and froze before it could do anything. the novel suggests that it didn't even mean to come here but that the ship's magnetic properties had some kind of issue coming near earth's magnetic field which is why it ended up at the south pole

in the novel it's also telepathic, so we'd be double fucked

I would get into a space craft, and then nuke the Earth from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure.

>>83659185
You don't have enough nukes to kill the Thing

>>83659258
This.

If a cockroach could survive nuclear fallout, the Thing could.

>What do you do?
Shitpost on /tv/ until it gets me.

>>83659185
You've got a spacecraft with nukes?

I wouldn't worry at all. Assuming everyone died at the outpost. That amounts to 26 dead in the span of 6 days. The Thing, while certainly formidable, is quite slow in it's killing and assimilation process. Even giving it the benefit of the doubt because it just woke up or is just not suited for the harsh environment, it still wouldn't be a major threat to the stability of a country. Let's say it can kill 20 people a day, that's only 7000 a year. To put that in perspective cancer kills 600,000 a year and heart disease the same. It wouldn't even be noticeable and we'd just be dealing with a bizarre string of disappearances.

>>83659390
Do you not know what exponential growth is?
They literally talk about it in the movie

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>yfw anyone itt could be a thing and you wouldn't even know

>>83656960
>>83657133
>>83656591
>>83656556
>>83657404
>>83658058
Okay you faggots, as promised I went and rewatched the Thing just so I could give you the COMPLETE RUNDOWN on the Thing infecting civilization. First off, I want to point to one of the first scenes in the movie where we get an idea of just how terrifying the Thing is. I am of course referring to the computer scene where Blaire runs a computer simulation on the Thing's ability to assimilate living organisms. In the scene we are able to see a single infected cell assimilate another. This much is obvious. What's so special about this scene is that it gives us a canon time frame from an albeit fallible source on how long it would theoretically take the Thing to absorb all human life. The time frame is 27000 hours, which is 1125 days. That's a little over three years. It would take the Thing a little over three years to absorb all of humanity under optimal computer simulated conditions. While a computer simulation cannot be relied on to give us a completely accurate portrayal of how something like that would turn out, it gives us a general time frame and an idea of how long it would take the Thing to completely beat humanity. So let's keep that in mind going forward.

>>83659390
This post has the right idea, but it's not exactly right. It makes a few erroneous assumptions, but it's on the right track.

>>83655794
Assume it's bullshit like literally everything else I read and enjoy my day. If it's real, there's not much I can do.

Haha great thread guys! Hey if this actually happened where would we all go? Would we have anything up our sleeve? How would we tell each other from things?

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>>83659376
Do you not?

>>83659511
^

>>83655794
If all life becomes part of it, then the fighting stops. World Peace attained.

>>83659532
Simple. Everyone has to pass the 4chan shitposting test.

>>83659532
OPEN YOUR MOUTH NOW!!!!

>>83659477
Now I just want to deal with the whole thing with mosquitoes, birds, and other pests. I have to do this because otherwise we're left with billions of little flying faggots that could feasibly infect all of humanity without much problem. Well I'll just point to the fact that in the past, we nearly drove mosquitoes to extinction because we hated the fuckers so much. We stopped killing off mosquitoes because we realized that killing off an entire species actually wreaks fucking havoc on our ecosystems. That's how efficient humanity is at killing things. If our government knew the Thing really existed, it would immediately take pest control to the fucking EXTREME. I'm talking about every city in America on Pest Control duty 24/7. Orkin's stocks would go through the fucking roof. Unemployment would be eliminated overnight as we turned every hobo in Seattle into an exterminator and outsourced them to every god damn city in America. You want to know how humanity doesn't get fucked because of the Thing assimilating mosquitoes? It's simple

We kill the mosquitoes. All of them.

>>83659532
holy shit they know how to post on /tv/ now

we're all fucked

>>83656150
Radiation may be like food to it, anyway. Nuking an infected area may be like dropping spinach bombs on Popeye.

The Thing was building a space ship, i really don't think it wanted to infect the Planet

I think it just wanted to go home

>>83659123

You're partly talking sense and partly not. I appreciate that you've actually read the short story and have the context, as evidenced by your latter two paragraphs (execrable children refer to paragraphs on this site that I've been coming on since early 2004, nowadays, as "reddit spacing").

I generally disagree and push back on your first two thoughts, though. Despite my own admission that I'd off myself, I still give the rest of humanity credit for its adaptability. I don't know that it follows that human society would unravel if an effective means of containment were found in time, though the latter is difficult to imagine-hence my above despair. Some other strongman, Macready type, or normie is always going to try to live in a population, and often succeed.

I think that your distinction between plot armor and the simple elaboration on what the thing actually is are meaningless in your second paragraph. they amount to the same thing.

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>>83659656

meant to include this, I like to post 'em.

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>>83659532
>Literally asking everything the thing would ask if he was trying to learn about /tv/

Burn.

>>83659609
>we turned every hobo in Seattle into an exterminator

But Anon, hobos ARE pests

>>83659462
nah give me a quick rundown. I remember the thing only able to control one host at a time while being able to occupy many.

>>83656556
Dude, plants. Microbes. Once it made it from Antarctica to the oceans, it's already won.

>>83659609
Another thing I want to deal with is the nature of the Thing's assimilation. It's not quite as fast or as easy as people think. No, just coming into contact with the Thing's cells is not enough to start the assimilation process. Exhibit A can be seen in one of the first scenes in the movie: Clarke and the dogs. Clarke repeatedly touches the dog before anyone realizes just how dangerous it is. He does this barehanded, and we know that skin cells fall off and die. That means you have infected skin cells from the Dogthing coming into direct contact with Clarke's bare skin. Clarke is never infected.

Exhibit B: Windows. In the movie we are given a scene of the dog going into Windows' room. We know this is Windows because of the shadow's hair and beard. The dog clearly does not care for Windows' affection, and has no other reason to go into Windows' room than to infect him. So why is Windows not infected? Simply because it is not quite so easy to infect another living being as some people assume in this thread. One thing that people like to forget is that the movie took place over DAYS. This reflects the fact that it takes a little longer than a few minutes to actually infect and absorb someone. Sure it's POSSIBLE that a single cell can infect a person, or so some characters in the film would like us to believe, but as we also learn in the movie, especially from Fuchs and Norris, it takes a while to completely assimilate a living thing. We also learn that the Thing goes fucking WHACK trying to assimilate or imitate something else, as with the dog scene and Fuchs' scene. This gives a window to see the Thing not as its imitation, but what it truly is. So no, it's not quite as simple as the Thing being completely undetectable in a world of defenseless sheep waiting to be absorbed.

>>83656792
I'm comfortable enough with the idea I'm just a copy of the person I was when I went to sleep last night. "I" die every single time my awareness or consciousness changes. If I knew the Thing was an amalgamated superconsciousness and there was little ways to actually defend against it. I'd deff allow "myself" to be amalgamated because it's really not that much different than going to sleep. (I'm not saying I want to die, I WOULD NOT kill myself is all I'm really saying)

>>83659699
>>83659823
A couple things I want to touch on that make the Thing incredibly deadly and nearly impossible to completely eradicate is that it can still survive fire, if not completely torched, and it would be exceedingly difficult to kill if it made it to the ocean. You can still potentially go the route of nuking the entire world and making it almost completely inhabitable or survive in a pocket of human civilization desperately trying to fend off the superorganism, but if in the scenario the Thing manages to make it to the ocean it'll probably never be completely destroyed. There's a lot of America though, and since we're going to assume it's in America since America is the only place in the world that matters, we can assume it doesn't have a direct line to the ocean to start off with. This gives people time to at least try and find it, and since getting to the ocean might not be the absolute first thing on the list of the alien that wants to absorb everything in sight, we can assume with reasonable chance that it won't win like that right off the bat.

>>83659609
Kill all plants, too. No winning.

Yawn, have a couple shots of whisky, and then go back to bed.

I mentioned earlier that the Thing takes time to assimilate, and in the words of the movie "needs to be alone" to do so because it must first absorb a living thing to take its identity and be able to imitate it. Evidence for this obviously being the aforementioned scenes with the dog and Fuchs, the dog being caught in the middle of digesting and trying to absorb the dogs in the pen and still being completely fucked up trying to split into two and imitate. Fuchs also later being absorbed by the "dead" thing. This makes it possible to spot the Thing and will ultimately be how the Thing is found. Now what's really important is how long it's been left to its devices and how much it's been able to absorb and assimilate by the time it's been found. If it's found early before it can spread too much, the government can nuke the spot where it's found a thousand miles in every direction. No fucking way the Thing, which we already know does NOT react well to fire and extreme heat, can survive being nuked a hundred times over. Everything will be fucking dead. It doesn't fucking matter. Nothing fucking matters. A cockroach can survive the radiation maybe, it can't fucking survive the extreme heat of a coordinated nuclear strike designed to exterminate all life a thousand miles in every direction, or however long it's decided is a safe bet based on how quickly the fastest living thing in the area could move. You could make it ten THOUSAND miles in every direction, it doesn't matter, because we're dealing with death, or rather life, incarnate and fuck that.

Why even fight it? It might be pretty badass to be a Thing. As a human, you're just going to get old, shit yourself, forget your grandkids' names and die anyway.

>>83660149
>>83659960

>>83656792
Could you elaborate on the hive mind stuff? Sounds interesting.

>thinks it's helping us
cute!

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>>83657721
I get what you're saying. But it's a superbeing. There is no defense against the Thing. Only offense.

Humans would have to make an equally Inhuman Superbeing to combat the Thing. A super virus. Nanobots. Unholy bombs that turn whole States into black waste lands. Super Chemicals that kill all life. Super Toxins that reduce all organic matter into acid. Fungus / bacteria that eats literally everything. Humans would have to Kill God to defeat the thing.

Anyone wanna talk about the themes of the movie? Isn't it about paranoia?

There are movies like The Faculty, Society, The Stuff, Slither, Phantoms etc that cover this scenario.
Basically some young attractive people will defeat it somehow.

>>83660149
How long to assimilate one tiny plankton? How long for tons of plankton to assimilate seaweed, fish, whales? Birds eating fish. First human assimilations will be people on the coasts, possibly ALL the coasts at the same time, AFTER literally all aquatic life has been Thinged.

>>83660250
It's 4 billion years in the future, and only robot intelligence exists on earth. Thing lands at the center of a populated continent. Thing is sad.

>>83660170
FUCK YOU

>>83660149
Now what's scary is if it's left to infect a shitload of things before it's been found. Now obviously depending on how much it's gotten to infect, it may be nearly impossible to either contain or even fight it, but for the sake of argument let's not assume it's completely out of control yet.

Now people don't know just how fucking good the government can potentially be at quarantining things. You want to know why a super virus is so scary? It's not because it can't be stopped. Oh we could stop it if we wanted to. You fucking kill everything that potentially came into contact with anything that potentially came into contact with anything that potentially came into contact with anything carrying the virus. You initiate pest control protocols. Kill every god damn mosquito, every god damn rodent, every god damn bird a hundred miles around where you spotted something. Problem is, people wouldn't like to do that. Not everyone would sit right with such extreme quarantine measures. But if you thrust something like the Thing into the face of the president and is given the quick rundown on how it has the potential to absorb all life on earth in a few years? Things might change a bit. Suddenly the decision to nuke every fucking thing in a 10k mile radius doesn't sound like a half bad idea. After that doesn't work? Start nuking everywhere else. Worst case scenario, and an infected organism is spotted close to the coast or things get real fucking out of hand? Maybe governments of the world, maybe including America itself, start considering a nuclear disarmament program via distribution to the Land of the Free. anywhere else has already been nuked into a winter fallout wonderland

>>83660260
I thought the Thing represented the core characteristics of life itself. It lives. It adapts. It defends itself and has a strong sense of self preservation. It perseveres, just like life.

>>83660304
literally went over this

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>>83660399
>>83660170
FORGOT MY IMAGE

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>>83660250
When you say it like that its easy

>create nanobot vaccine that eats all cells infected by The Thing
>For every Thing Cell eaten a new Nanobot is created.
>Once a human has so many nanobots in their body they start shedding them as if dead skin cells
>evenally every surface in the world has some Anti-thing Nanobots on it
>But instead of letting the Nanobots wipe out the Thing we eventually learn to use it's amazing ability to adapt
>Genetically Engineer humans so that they can regenerate like the Thing
>Use The Thing as an unlimited Food Source

god damn, Humans are scary

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>>83660399
Now nuking an entire country isn't even the Absolute Last Resort(tm). That would be a select few people being meticulously screened, for infection and for their candidacy as humanity's last best hope to live, being sent to Antarctica where there are very little living things alive to be infected in the first place. After that, the entire world is nuked with the remaining nuclear stockpile of every nuclear power on earth. This is the Macready Option. Burn it all down so the Thing can't have it. Why? Because fuck you too.

Now that might not even be necessary. Nuking everything within a 10k mile radius might just be enough in the first place, but who knows? Even not considering these extreme measures, there are other feasible methods of quarantine. Taking a page from Trump's book, walls could be built around select few human settlements and everything else turned to ash. Seismic sensors, motion detectors, radar, and good old human eyes would probably be enough to stop just about anything getting past. Provided insects have already been mostly eradicated. Maybe added protection of screens or a glass dome. Let's get sci fi here because fuck you we're sci fi already. Everything that approaches is either screened through a test similar to the one seen in the movie or scorched. It's not completely infeasible for there to be effective ways of defending a settlement. It would just suck and life as we know it today would be pretty much over and humanity would never fully recover. Oh and these human settlements also have every person, plant, and livestock animal regularly screened. Couldn't work any other way. Regular screening would also be a pretty reasonable way of making sure a settlement can't be stealthily overtaken by a Thing that had trouble with a dozen guys at an antarctic research station. Especially not with constant pervasive observation via CCTV as seen in 1984 and Great Britain.

I fucking told you faggots. Humans can win

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>>83655794
Infect others.

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>>83660250
You're missing something. It would not be very hard. A challenge, sure.

>>83660659
It's rather brutish, but he's got somewhat of the right idea. I was just losing hope completely. If we were a camp, all of us together, and I was the only one who could even fathom a method to win, what happens to the rest of you if I am unlucky enough to be the first victim?

I don't generally think I'm smarter than everyone else, the way to win just seems obvious to me, but perhaps I have to admit I am in this case because no one else seems to be able to crack the case.

I mean, the arctic was a great disadvantage to the thing, but none of you seem to see that the humans had a greater disadvantage foisted on them as well that would not be present in the rest of the world.

>anime autist thinking "ganbatte" powers will somehow help against the thing with current tech

>>83662664
If you've truly done your best, then you are right, your best won't help you at all.

>>83655913
You only fight something you think you can beat.

>>83663334
you can beat the Thing.

you also fight even when you know you're going to lose.

>>83662664
>>83662664
get the fuck out you weebs

>>83655967
ahahhaaha what the fuck am I reading

Can the thing infect Fauna and Flora?

>>83655794
Fuck it

Steal a campervan or RV or something, spend all my money on canned food, water and weed and drive far into the remotest areas of the Scottish highlands as possible to live out the rest of my days getting high in a van. Then I'd probably end up killing myself or just let myself be assimilated.

what would it feels to get assimilated. just wondering haha

>>83656392
Peter Watts is brilliant. They really need to turn STARFISH and BLINDSIGHT into kino.

>>83655837
Only correct response.

>>83655794
>move to northern canada
>buy flame thrower
>trust no one

>>83655825
this

>>83655794
poke a dead thing with my pencil & then stick the contaminated end in my mouth

lol

>>83655837
spbp

>>83655794

An hero

>>83656392
Full text of The Things:
http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/watts_01_10/

I'm Norwegian but haven't seen the movie

tell me what to do

>>83660399
>Kill every god damn mosquito, every god damn rodent, every god damn bird a hundred miles around where you spotted something.
That's really easy to say, a lot harder to do. There would be quite literally billions, even trillions of insects within that 100-mile radius. How are you going to get them all, nukes? Not going to get the cockroaches. The winged insects can escape quickly in the time it takes for a government to launch a bomb and land it. Birds? Flying high above the blast site? LITERALLY the only way prevent the Thing from taking over the world would be to blacktop the entire New World (assuming it starts in America) and pray that no cockroach-Things ever make their way to the Ocean.

>>83656792
So when your body becomes compromised and turns into a gory shitfest, do you feel everything?

well, since I believe suicide to be a sin, I would try to fight the Thing, even though I know I can't win..

Who knows, maybe me and some that are not infected might actually make a difference? (probably not)

>The Thing anywhere on earth that isn't a frozen wasteland

Then it's ogre for us, the question is pointless because there would be no way for us to get rid of it, barring going into space and completely sterilizing the planet, which obviously isn't achiveable with our level of tech.

>>83656792
Basically a more gorey and violent instrumentality. I'm down with that.

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>>83656792
>According to the novelization, you don't even really die, you just join a hive mind. Apparently the Thing doesn't really understand the human concept of death, and thinks it's helping us. So, I suppose you'd never be lonely again. That's nice.

Uh, what? It's been a while since I've read the novelization, but I don't recall any of that. I think you are taking your facts from that *fanfiction* piece that narrated the film's event from the Thing's POV.

>>83658238
>tfw op gets assimilated
>He starts shitposting images of his thing-pussi
>/b/tards now want to fuck full form things
>/pol/ is dead in the water.
>Thingposters take over 4chan

>>83659656
>>83659672
tl;dr thanks reddit

>>83655910
>Snow and ice have cells
Why didn't it take over all the snow and ice? Or did it?

>>83667232
I think I remember something from the novel of a thing-infected person trying to convince someone it's trying to help humanity. I just assumed it was lying so it wouldn't get killed

I may be wrong about this though

>>83655794
Jokes on you. I live in canada.

Easy 24 hour drive to the arctic circle and im guchi

>>83667380
The actual original story or the fanfic book?

>>83667412
There is the original novel, and the novelization of the movie. The fanfic is a short story, not a book.

>>83667401
So, how do you plan to subsist living alone in the arctic?

>>83667453
"Who goes there?" is a novella while the novelization is a novel.

>>83662436
Then give us your answer, oh wise one

>there are people arguing that humans could win a war against the Thing
>there are people arguing that building a wall could stop the thing

So, what happens when the Thing starts assimilating bugs? How are we going to beat that?

>>83667798
We don't know how tt reacts to anything outside of antarctica so this is all fanfic headfarts. Still I'd use napalm. Lot's and lot's of napalm.

I have a bottle of J&B in my pantry, so I can at least go out drunk, MacReady style.

>>83655794
To think that Thing has a chance to turn an entire planet into a gigantic supra-organism, by simply assimilating all organic life.

And the space ship it came in with? Unlucky victims. No fucking way did it have any way of piloting the ship by itself, so it assimilated and learned how to do it.

The Thing could easily rival the Markers and Necromorphs, The Flood and Xenomorphs. But The Thing doesn't stand a chance against nanimachines and synthetic beings of course, and especially against energy beings.

>I will have to rape it into them.

Sign me up for having forced tentacle penetration as my mind becomes one of many.

>>83660250
>Super Toxins that reduce all organic matter into acid
From a chemistry point of view, this is the most retarded thing I've heard all day.

>>83666844
everything you just said is a meme

>>83668038
That reminds me of "The Puppet Masters" by Robert Heinlein. It followed a similar vein of what the OP is talking about, except it involves alien slugs from one of Jupiter's moons that completely take over your mind and body if they attach themselves onto you.

In the beginning of the novel, it's impossible to remove them without killing the host (although they eventually discover a way to do it) and society ends up wearing clothing that doesn't conceal the body (something similar to public nudity). Doing this prevents the slugs from hiding themselves effectively.

Anyway, the part that reminded me was when the MC finds the original ship the slugs came from and he discovers dead aliens that looked "elf-like" and small, but similar to our own. He theorizes that perhaps that species and ours could have been friends, had the slugs not gotten to them

>>83668686
There being lots of insects is a meme?

>>83668686
what are you talking about? Are you implying we could wipe out mosquitoes if we wanted to? Because some scientist actually ARE trying to do that. The scientific community has deemed their species more of a threat than a benefit.

They've been trying for years. Haven't made a fucking dent

I havent read through every comment..
The Thing is obviously intelligent, as a last gasp, perhaps try an negotiate a peace treaty. Give it a nice chunk of the planet, perferrable any land of shitskins. This would actually increase the negroid IQ and make the alien distinguishable from normal white people.

>>83655794
EN MUY HOM CONTREY, OP? Why not my home state? Are you some foreign loser, OP?

cockroaches and other insects are actually very vulnerable to radiation poisoning

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>>83667526
but you won't learn that way

>>83667798
flyswatters

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>>83657133
The answer is simple, comrade.

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>>83668660
>he CLEARLY doesn't know how toxins work, can't name a single toxin, but wants to talk about chemistry

>>83659185

>implying you can make that kind of decision when you're just a grunt

>>83660250
Is David the savior of mankind?

>create gay robot super A.I.
>abuse him so that he grows a distinct distaste for life
>Point him at the direction of the Avatar of Life Incarnate
>let them do battle

I don't think anyone ITT understands what we live in a time where they can literally alter the genetic codes of viruses.

The thing would be dead withing a few months. A lot of the world would also go with it, but man would ultimately win.

say "im fucked" , then lay down in my bed and wait to be assimilated.

>>83668728
The elf-aliens would have split the moment it was accosted by some fruitcake wearing pointy ears claiming to be an asexual trans-elfkin with telepathy.

>>83669669
Oh, so you don't actually have an answer. Got it.

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>>83655794

>>83669913
It's extremely hard to alter the genes of viruses and they are incredibly adaptable, just look at the mrsa. The thing is obviously highly adaptable
Even if humanity pooled its resources it would still take years to create a bioweapon that would only attack the thing. Much more effective to just napalm or even nuke the areas where it has been seen

>>83670876
>viruses
>mrsa

lrn2biology

move abroad

checkmate thing

>>83655794
>The Thing is real and has been confirmed to be in your home country

Lol in Russia? gl, m9. It will spread everywhere on the planet anyway.

>>83657544
Actually they didn't find a way.

Keith David was an imitation at the end.

Watch them breathing at the end..

You can see Kurt Russell's breath because of how cold it is

...You can't see Keith David's breath.

>>83656352
bait, the thing is an organism even if it can survive the initial blast the radiation would finish it.

>>83670034
...fair point

>>83670876
>Much more effective to just napalm or even nuke the areas where it has been seen
>where it has been seen

So, what happens with the all the other areas where the Thing remains undetected?

The Thing isn't a dumb animal, it wouldn't come fully against mankind until it had spread out and had enough numbers. You would need to nuke every forest and jungle out there, somehow find a way to get rid of all bugs, and I have no idea how we could even face the problem of it spreading into the oceans.

... by the way, couldn't the Thing potentially assimilate bacterial life? If so, they it truly could be anywhere.

>>83671539
>The Thing isn't a dumb animal, it wouldn't come fully against mankind until it had spread out and had enough numbers.


kek, just like how it keep quiet and remain hiding in the movie, right?

>>83655913
nigga, have you watched the Thing?

>>83667365
If you read really closely he only mentions things that are alive

>>83655794
While we would be fucked once you get assimilated and we all become the thing it wouldnt be so bad.

If it were the creature from the Horro from the vaults I would commit suicide immediately because that wouldbe worse than death itself. We would be majorly fucked.

>>83660659
Great, so no you're living in Antarctica with a bunch of survivors. What do you eat? Each other? Oh you gonna go fishing in the ocean where the thing lives? Oh you're going to bring livestock to Antarctica with you? What are you going to feed that livestock? Oh you gonna build greenhouses? Out of what? And how you going to power them?

Tl;Dr you're fucking dead like everyone else

>>83671827
Right, the thing has probably traveled everywhere and assimilated who knows how many other civilisations, by the time it would get to us Im sure it has its tactics down.

>>83655794

I put my dick in it. My seed is so potent that it overpowers the thing and I gain control. I now have an shapeshifting, omnipotent alien penis, which I use to reshape population of the earth in my image.

>>83659532
TORCH IT MAC!

In the end, I imagine myself like Donald Sutherland at the end of Bodysnatchers.. or beta 7

>>83671261
I hate this fucking meme. We see the Bennings-Thing's breath when he runs out into the snow. The way you know Childs is a thing is because Macready symbolically gives him his liquor, paralleling his opening scene where he pours his drink into the chess computer after he knows he's beaten.

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>>83655794
Wear pic-related and hope it can't be bothered to do a blood test of it's own.

>>83655837
Can the thing take over a corpse?

>>83673513
There's another fan theory attached to this one which implies that Macready knew Childs was a thing.

The film establishes that Macready used any items that would be flammable on the base to make explosives. That would include alcohol.

Here's the events that happen. Macready offers Childs a drink of the whiskey and he chuckles. Now, we never actually see Macready drink from the bottle. it's just implied.

A fan theory is that it wasn't Whiskey at all, but actually gasoline, and the bottle is an unusued molotov cocktail. Macready chuckles because he knows the Thing is drinking gasoline and not having any adverse reaction (because it doesn't know what whiskey tastes like)

While very interesting, there is one problem with this theory. The Thing not only assimiliates the physical life form, it also gains it's memories, personality, etc. If Childs drank whiskey, it would know the taste of whiskey.

Why is everyone assuming the thing can become a small insect and take over a human?
Don't you remember that the thing always violently attacks a new host first? These theories aren't based on what we see in the movie.

>>83675008
Yes.

But it has no interest in a long-dead corpse. Because it probably knows intelligent life forms would be suspicious seeing a person that is known to be dead suddenly alive and walking around again.

This is why Copper was not infected. Everyone saw him get killed by the Norris-Thing.

>>83667401
Gucci* retard

>>83675008

If it takes over my corpse after I kill myself it's not my problem suckas

>>83655794
Fill up a whiskey bottle with gasoline and offer it to everyone I come across.

>>83675334
Joke's on you I love gasoline

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>>83655794
Immolate myself immediately.

No point trying to fight it

I'm gonna watch the prequel
Haven't watched it for years and can't remember if it was good

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>>83655967
>americans are this dumb

>>83656411
or just make a virus that targets "thing cells"

>>83675682
Its a goddamn travesty.

why are there so many underage posters in here?