ITT: Rewrite 2001: A Space Odyssey except it's directed

The apes get killed by a short faced bear before they can evolve.

>exactly the same except the monoliths are replaced with psilocybin mushrooms

inb4 eggs

>please stop insulting me and let me leave so I can catch my flight
>I'm afraid I can't do that Crowder. you stupid bitch

>>83648556
>Hal, I told you to pull that up

>>83648889
/thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-C25RXTIhk&feature=youtu.be

>>83649112
wow, compelling stuff.

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>Wow, look at those apes. So primitive, so ferocious.
>Look at them fling their shit around and puff their chests out; establishing dominance.
>Man, they'll fuck you to death.
>Young Jamie, can you pull up that obelisk for me?

>>83649112
His podcast demo moved away from conspiracy nuts to normies. His opinions also do 180s from episode to episode depending on who the guest is.

>>83648556
> Jamie, pull up that footage of the monkeys in front of the monolith.
> Look at him smash shit with that bone... they could rip a man's arms out of their sockets, and that's BEFORE they had weapons. It's crazy.

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>>83648556
>Hal do you have any idea how heavy a full-grown weights? Jamie pull of that video of the group of chimps that knocked over that ancient monolith

>>83649686
> You know some researchers theorize all religion was the result of psychedelic mushroom traces.
> takes mushroom
> light show
> This is some CRAZY shit.
> What the fuck. How did I get this old so fast? I should have kept using my kettle bells.
> looks up at monolith
> This is WEIRD. It's SO WEIRD.

>>83648954
fucking kek