A ship full of cursed undead pirates? Boy they just keep

yeah and this time they're crusty and bits of them are floating around!

>>83483219
They aren't pirates. Why don't you watch the movie first

They ended the film by breaking every single curse so at least they can't shit out another one!
C-can they bros?

>>83483219
Ghosts and skeletons/humans are different things. Barbossa's crew had no downsides on land but also not too many advantages anywhere else beyond being undead. Salazar got some weird life infusing magic and seem to be able to port around. Besides, he's 100% harmless if you stay the fuck away from the sea.

It's not overly creative but hardly a carbon copy.

>>83483258
Oh shit you're right. To go from cursed pirates to cursed navy officers is such a huge transgression, totally breaking new ground here.

>>83483294
Don't worry, the writers are really good at pulling contrived bullshit out their asses.

What's No Country For Old Men's role in this movie? Is he the villain?

>>83483329
You didn't watch the movie so why are you complaining about it

>>83483342
Yes

>>83483342
Villain that literally did nothing wrong

>>83483312
>Besides, he's 100% harmless if you stay the fuck away from the sea.

Unless he possesses someone.

>>83483219
>They're not undead
They're ghosts
>They're not pirates
They're pirate hunters, specifically members of the Spanish Armada

>>83483422
Or anything at all.

wtf they used pirates in pirates of the caribbean AGAIN????

subscribe to my reddit for more in depth analysis and criticism like this!

>>83483464
>>They're not undead
>They're ghosts
Are they not the same thing?
>They're pirate hunters, specifically members of the Spanish Armada
And they function like pirates after being cursed.

>>83483538
I know man! It's not like they could use a different enemy while still having pirates or anything. Fuck creativity

Any one remember this ninja kino review

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjE2UlrE76M

>>83483724
There are not many options if it has to be super natural and somewhat human-like.

Also do you bitch about aliens in sci-fi mostly acting like humans but looking different?

>>83483845
No but that is kind of shitty now that you bring it up.

>>83483219
I know Javier Bardeem has an enormous head, but everytime i see one of these pirates pictures of him, he seems like mr potato head.

Why did they kill the only character that is even remotely close to being good after that totally unneccessary and rather convenient "plot" twist

>>83483219
Salazar did nothing wrong.
Pirates are scum and the world would be better off without them.

>>83484107
They can still easy resurrect him, or drop him if Javier wants too much cash for the sequel. His dead was pretty well done too and similar to his first one, it's just a shame he wasn't that active otherwise.

>>83483219
>dry and dusty pirates villains
>slimy and soft pirates villains
>crusty and ethereal pirates villains
>______ and ______ pirates villains
Wich ones?

So, what should the plot of the sixth movie be?

>>83483462
>>83483312
Would Jack's jar of dirt trick work in this one?

>>83483724
People who expect original, innovative plots in shlock action are morons - literally braindead morons. The plot is meant to be simple and familiar - it's part of what audiences want. Some of the scenes in the film are nice and well done. It knows it's stupid and it has fun with it with retarded scenes like Jack swinging around with the guillotine. Criticising something that's easy to criticise - "it's not creative!" - is an insecure little dweeb trying to feel clever and like he understands movies. "Dude, I could do SO much better!" Fuck off and kill yourself.

>>83484502
>flayed and visceral pirates villains
>all-female crew of pirates villains
>pirates whose entire bodies have been replaced piece by piece (peg-leg style) and are just vital organs in a steampunky wooden/brass shell with cannon arms and little tiny telescopes that come out of their eye sockets when their eyepatches lift up on a hinge

>>83483724
People like pirate villains in POTC because ship battles are rare in cinemas today. If you did villains like aliens, or eldritch monsters they'd be firing into the water.

It's why Pirates 4 was dogshit. Zero ship battles.

>>83484721
that last one sounds exactly like what we're getting next

>>83483219
I was rooting for Salazar. He did nothing wrong. Jack was a total asshole in this one.

>You either did a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

>>83484533
Pirate orgy with le science girl

>>83483219
What did you wanted the bad guys to be? Kaijus?

i don't recall a single pirate in any of these movies doing any actual pirating. They are always looking for some magical/mysterious plot device. Just once I would like to see them board a ship, take some molasses/tobacco/rum/slaves and shove off. but i guess i'm just boring

>>83484797
die*

>>83484642
He should have covered his ship in sand.

>>83484533
Some privateer (Drake?) and the Empire as main antagonists with Shansa supporting them but minding own bigger goals. Henry and Carina trying to live normally but fucked over by someone OR Carina trying to find some shit and Henry following her. SOMETHING to make him interesting.

On the other side of the world (China?), Jack trying to rezz Hector. Also an ex slave pirate crew for maximum worldwide pandering.

>>83484721
Woah, am I going to have to start seeing these movies soon?

>>83484862
>by breaking all the curses, they opened a series of ancient seals at the bottom of the puerto rico trench, something something aztecs
>massive sea creatures making the kraken look like a limp dick lil bitch start to emerge
>crab that can pick up flagships with one claw
>megalodon shark whose dorsal fin alone is the size of the black pearl
>moray eel that is also really quite big
>all the world's fleets must collaborate
>begin building massive ships
>sails that blot out the sun
>masts that part the clouds
>battles occur
caribbean rim. disney pls dont steal

>>83484900
I was going to say - It would be cool if the next Pirates antagonist wasn't supernatural at all.

Maybe the Royal Navy just hired a fuckload of privateers to wipe out all the pirates (or maybe they finally hired Captain Morgan - one of the deadliest pirates/privateers around - to finish off piracy in the Caribbean, like how it actually happened in history), which would result in all pirates coming together for a final battle against the law. This would provide opportunities for naval battles and scenes of actual pirates doing piracy.

>>83484228

In many Mediterranean civilizations, Pirates served the role of tax collectors. Privateers were pretty much legal pirates who were allowed to wreak havoc on the ships of enemy nations; their reward was being able to port in allied docks and peddle their booty to the local merchants for a small fee to their host nation. Pirates served a purpose.

>>83483363
Where do you think you are?
Have you seen the "reviews" for stuff like Get Out?

>>83483219
Wood is from the land and the pirate's ships are made of wood. Why is Salazar allowed to walk around on them?

Barbossa's crew VS Devy jones's VS Salazar's

Who wins?

>>83483538
>>They're ghosts
>Are they not the same thing?
the fuck am I reading, no they aren't

>>83485752
They're all invincible but Barbossa's are the most badass and are the most effective. This is also counting out Jones's Kracken and Salazar's hungry ship

>>83485752
Davy Jones has the Krackin.

>>83485606
Privateers weren't pirates though, by definition.

Sure, sometimes privateers used to be pirates before getting a letter of Marque from the local royalty, but by definition the two are different.

A privateer works within legal boundaries. They were often successful naval officers or captured pirate captains who were given the option (the alternative being execution, in the latter case) to become privateers - captains of a naval combat vessel, tasked with attacking and plundering pirates, in order to eliminate illegal piracy. They could only patrol designated waters and attack designated targets, and had to report back to the Royal Navy whenever they did anything of note.

You can't really call them both pirates if one group is specifically meant to hunt and kill the other, and one operates within legal limits whereas the other is an enemy of the state.

>>83485902
what's the use of that against immortal enemies? they can just get eaten and cut him from the inside

>>83485752
Jones, no question

>>83485949
>be me, the kraken
>grab Salazar's crew one by one
>throw onto nearby island

>>83485752
>Barbossa's crew
Can't you kill them by destroying their bodies entirely? They didn't seem to have regeneration.

>Devy jones's
Are very killable sans the boss, who got a shitty weakness but teleport powers are good for sure.

>Salazar's
Pretty much unbeatable on the sea but lack teleport. Should be able to balance it with zombification power.

>>83485902
Salazar could turn it into a zombie.

>>83485918
>A privateer works within legal boundaries. They were often successful naval officers or captured pirate captains who were given the option (the alternative being execution, in the latter case) to become privateers - captains of a naval combat vessel, tasked with attacking and plundering pirates, in order to eliminate illegal piracy. They could only patrol designated waters and attack designated targets, and had to report back to the Royal Navy whenever they did anything of note.

that doesn't sound like a bad carreer at all famalan

>tfw you'll never be an ex pirate living the comfy live of a privateer doing the same shit but this time with a pension plan

>>83484533
cthulhu

>>83486131
>employment
>the same as being free

>>83483659
No, they aren't the same thing. The undead, like zombies, are corporeal. Ghosts are not

>And they function like pirates after being cursed

No they don't. They still mainly are attacking pirates. The only non-pirate ship they attack in a British naval vessel, which they could have attacked for two possible reasons. 1. The Spanish Armada were not exactly on good terms with the Royal Navy.

2. (and this is more likely) the ship was going to attack the Black Pearl, and potentially kill Jack Sparrow. Salazar needed that honor to be his

Did Depp's voice sound weird to anyone else?

>>83486050
honestly the kraken shouldn't be involved, that's kinda cheating.
It's like adding Black Beard's crew and including his ship.
>>83486078
>Can't you kill them by destroying their bodies entirely? They didn't seem to have regeneration.
IIRC Will "killed" one with a bomb, but bombs aren't standard gears for any of the groups involved (except for that guy in Barbossa's crew)

>>83485980
eh, out of them all they seem to be the most vulnerable. probably stalemate between barbossa and salazar

>>83486131
Heck yes, friend. Look up the story of Captain Henry Morgan (yeah, the same guy on the rum bottles you see at the store) - one of the few men who lived a long life of piracy, retired in luxury, and died peacefully in bed of old age.

>>83486174
>m-muh wagecuck

if you like your jobe there's nothing wrong about having one.
and if you were a pirate, beeing a privateer would be basically the same but legally

>>83484667
>you don't get it, it's SUPPOSED to be bad!

>>83485918

It depends on which era of piracy. Oversight of privateer activity was much more limited in the classical era compared to the golden age (1600's) so they would have been more pirate-like.

>>83486321
It's not supposed to be bad and it isn't. The reasons used to criticise it as bad are retarded. Learn some reading comprehension, moron.

>>83485572
That's almost the exact plot of the third movie you retard

>>83486262
But Jones himself seems immune to damage. Barbossa isn't. Salazar is but seems to lack mobility.

>>83486260
In some of the scenes he was doing a terrible drunk voice which was kind of weird because he's been drunk in every movie and it never affected his voice like it did in this movie

>>83486557
he isn't immune, I don't remember who but someone cuts his tentacles and he even yells in pain
he has to concentrate to become immaterial

>>83486521
Fuck me, I got so caught up in all the big octopuses and octopus-men that I forgot about all the human elements in the movie.

>>83486661
Weren't they fine afterwards? He didn't seem too care when stabbed and nigga literally cut out his heart.

Though overall fair point, Salazar it is then.

>>83486521
>>83486696
Man, I was so burned, the trailer promised some badass battle, like it was going to be almost a war movie, and all we got was two ships fucking around during a storm while hundreds of others just stood there and watched.

Did anyone here enjoy it at all?
Or is a 5th movie for this series just way too many

>>83486741
that's the problem with immortal guys, you never go for thrust, you always must cut, speciffically limbs

>>83484107
It wasn't even an interesting twist. They just said 'I'm looking for my dad' and it could've been any of the other characters that couldve been the father.

I'm guessing he was just getting bored of making those movies and wanted out, but still.

>>83486832
First sequel movie this year that I was able to sit through without a break.

>>83486440
That's exactly what your post said, deny it as much as you want. Your pathetic use of euphemism, idiotic ideas such as "how a movie takes itself" and complaints about quality of critic scream you have absolutely no understanding of film.
Indeed, it's not meant to be the new age of art, but that's no excuse for its flaws nor is it above criticism. Disdain for improvement is a flaw in itself.

Unironically they could have probably made vampire pirates who go around sucking people's blood leaving ships adrift with dry husks and it would have actually been cool.

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>>83483219
Perfect piratekino already exist, why make another one?

>>83487060
Indeed, sir? Indeed! Shut up, you dweeby fucking tryhard.

It's formulaic entertainment. Narrative innovation isn't what people want when they purchase a ticket to see summer schlock, so complaining about the familiarity, one the film's selling points, is a retarded criticism.

The fact the movie accepts this, embraces it and uses it to its benefit is, ironically enough, original and creative in itself.

>i give this apple 4/10 because it tastes too much like the last apple i ate

>>83486791

Yeah that was a pretty big cop out. Let's just throw a big storm on the middle so none of these other ships can participate.

Also, after Will takes over the Dutchman and they blow Beckett up, what happened to the other EITC ships? Did they just run away?

>>83483219
The concept is cool though
And they make it fresh all the time

Is there a market for a different pirate movie franchise?

>>83487770
Really waters your melon.

>>83486949
What's an interesting twist? It was very organic and fits perfectly into the story, plus the moment was emotional as fuck without "I am your father" shit.

It wasn't shocking but there is more to twist than shock value.

>>83487060
Most people criticising POTC have absolutely no understanding about it either. Intelligent critizism is more than autistically pointing out the flaws of a work.

>>83487770
To make the battle worth it, they would need to establish the other pirate lords and one movie isn't enough for it. Otherwise it'd be random EITC guys vs random pirates a la the battle of five armies.

>>83484533
Aliens

>>83483462
In which form you can kill him permanently if you're prepared to sacrifice the possessed since he can't separate himself from them on his own.

>>83488036
Doesn't seem that way. The more serious Black Flag series is pretty irrelevant. Another less serious movie would be too much of a POTC copy. Disney pretty much monopolised the shit while Johnny Depp is alive.

>>83484533
Jewish pirates.

>>83484020
>Javier Bardem has an enourmous head
That's why they CGI'd out half of it.

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>>83484245
Are you sure he meant Salazar and not Based Hector?

>>83484502
Davy Jones in the stinger had the claw on the wrong arm, so malevolent mirror images of pirates.

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>>83488720
>OI NEIPATEE THE KAPAIBIKHE
>H EKAIKEH TOY EAAAZAP

>>83488554
I just want more movies on pirate ships.

>>83488720
Both can be easy resurrected. With Hector it'd be ... dunno, cheapen his death although some cute father - daughter moments will make up for it. Would prefer for him to come back in the 3rd sequel.

>>83488776
Well, the market clearly doesn't. Black Flag and POTC are your best calls.

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>>83483363

>>83487770
EITC ships fuck off when they realize that the unbeatable Dutchman has switched alignment.

>>83485752
Salazar's ghosts were completely invincible as long as they're at sea, and the Silent Mary is an equally invincible ghost ship. Barbossa's were immortal, but they could be dismembered (I don't remember if they were able to stick themselves back together). Jones' monsters can go on land and are hard hitters, but they can be killed, with effort. Jones himself is a true immortal as long as his heart is safe, but he can't go on land, and the Kraken was nigh-invincible.

Salazar's probably the most powerful, unless Jones' sea grim reaper powers mean he can just wish them to the locker or something. It's disappointing that Will wasn't involved at all beyond motivating Henry.

>>83488515
>Pirates in The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Please no. Though it seems likely, same scriptwriter as in this one.

>>83486050
Salazar and pals could be intangible when they wanted to.

>>83483294
the post credits scene is Davy Jones coming back...so I guess not.

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>>83488949
This picture is better.

>>83484502
thicc and busty pirates

>>83489154
Fuck I left before the post credits scene. Why the fuck do they do those

>>83489215
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eS4Duhnqoo

>>83489105
DESU it could work. POTC strength are locations and characters, the plots are irrelevant.

>>83489128
They could also stand on the water surface.
>that mental image of the Kraken turning around with the satisfaction of a job well done only to see pissed-off peacemeal Spanish spectres standing behind it on the water, stamping their feet.
>Just Hands Guy double flips him off

>blackbeards ship has a flame thrower.
>black beards sword can control ships.
why was none of this used?

>>83489205
Carina Barbossa has got you covered.

>>83489348
I saw her ankles!

>>83489326
Because it'd be even more CGI cancer, same with Will joining the battle.

Besides, it's doubtful that the shit would have much of an effect on Salazar.

I can't keep track of all the different characters supernatural abilities and all the different supernatural items and their rules, someone give me the quick run down

>>83489326
Barbossa was surprised before he could work his magic because the comedic navy duo couldn't get their act straight until the Silent Mary had already opened its maw to dig into the Queen Anne's Revenge.
Also, controlling the rigging to trap your enemy does nothing against intangible ghosts.

>>83488765
>American education

Is that real witch gonna have a bigger part in the next movie?

>>83489466
Barbossa wanted a meeting with Salazar. He went to Shansa for advice after the information from the comedic duo.

>>83489517
Most likely. She got a fucking theme and that amazing make up. They'd be crazy not to use her again.

>>83489517
Potentially, of course. Tia Dalma's was also a bit part and plot vehicle until they revealed her as the embodiment of the sea in the next movie.

>>83489544
You're right, I misremembered.
The bit about his arsenal being useless still stands, though.
>the poor sap who tries to take out one of the ghosts with a headshot, hitting his comrade instead

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>>83489446
Barbossa's crew in the first movie had cursed Aztec gold that made them immortals who couldn't eat, drink, or fuck and turned into spooky skellies in the moonlight. The Black Pearl, with the wind, is the fastest ship on the seas.

Davy Jones is the ocean's grim reaper, immortal as long as his heart is fine, can teleport himself and his crew, and controls the Kraken, a squid-whale Kaiju. The Flying Dutchman is a super durable - invincible ship that's fastest against the wind and is crewed by humanoid fish monster men.

Blackbeard possessed a magic sword that let him control ships and shrink them when he's defeated them. The Queen Anne's Revenge has flamethrowers at the front and is crewed by "zombies".

Salazar, his men, and his ship, the Silent Mary, are ghosts, who can go intangible and walk on water. They are as they were when they died, so most of them have chunks missing or worse. They explode upon setting foot on land, but they can get around this by possessing people, which they cannot undo. Salazar can control the Silent Mary and liked to rear it up and crash it down on other ships.

>>83489564
They keep introducing witches but not making them the focus of a movie. Or maybe they did I don't really remember any of the movies

>>83489695
The Dutchman can also submerge and attack from below, and Salazar has zombie animals (gulls, sharks) and a figurehead that can come alive at his disposal.

Calling it here. Pirates 6 will have undead Nazis in a ghost submarine.

t. Disney movie scriptwriter

I liked Salazar's spooky character design but they mostly showed him in close up

>>83489675
>The bit about his arsenal being useless
Well, the only time to use it would be later on the Black Pearl when he officially fucked Salazar over. Though given their ghost-ness it would probably not be overly effective.

>>83489695
> or fuck
They wouldn't enjoy it but nothing indicated that they couldn't do it. Barbossa bled when stabbed by Elizabeth.

>>83489833
Yes, nazis in the age of piracy. Checks out.

>>83488949
He's right, it could be all the cum from the huge fat cocks that he loves getting rammed up his asshole all night.

>>83489878
Well I mean, seeing the back of his skull missing WAS a bit unsettling, so good choice on their part.

>>83489915
I imagine he used the sword offscreen to co-ordinate the whole maneuver with the anchor better. They couldn't show that, of course, as it would ruin the Barbossa ex Machina.

Also, considering the bleeding... they didn't feel a thing except thirst and hunger. Even when they screamed out in pain when dueling, I chalked that up to them still having reflexes and flinching.

>a giant planet destroying space station
Why can't disney be original for once