https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq4 m3yAoW8E murderkino is here

>>83441151
that goofdoof is hercule poirot?

absolutely disgusting

that's a terrible trailer

>>83441151
probably wont even come close to the original.

I'll still watch it though :)

Kino pleb here, never seen the original movie, never read the book. is it any good? should check out either one?

>remaking a murder mystery
doesn't work, we already fucking know how it goes down

>>83441385
watch the movie, it's great

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>That facial hair.

all the passengers are in on the murder. they all stabbed the victim one time like the senate did with cesar.
who the fuck knows who kenneth branagh is in america? he thinks people will see it because he's the lead?

>>83441385
It's great. The book, I mean. It's been adapted many times. All adaptations are watchable, but I have a preference for David Suchet's 2010 MOTOE.

>>83441479
There's also a David Suchet docu about the Orient Express. It's great.

>>83441499
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0KhaKurWQA

Just look for a better quality vid of it.

>>83441457
KB is well known here in america.

Yeah I'm having a hard time seeing anyone but Suchet as Poirot.

>>83441151
Why is his mustache so comically large? is it described that way in the book?

>>83441586
Actually I think it was

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>that music
What the fuck is wrong with pr departments

>>83441568
really? that's surprising. what do you know him from over there?

I want the Quinn stories on film/tv. Is that so much to ask for?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mysterious_Mr_Quin

Directed by David Lynch.

That bit in the middle is alright but everything else in the trailer is just awful.

>>83441151
>POP SONG BLASTING AT THE END
Yeah, why set up the mood or anything related to this movie? Just fucking put the latest exciting pop song and it'll do it's job.

Also, it's gonna take some time to take this Poirot seriously.
Also, everyone killed the guy.

>>83441813
Dead Again
Frankenstein
Wild Wild West (lol)
Much Ado About Nothing

a lot of other movies I can't recall on the top of my head too

Harry Potter... and the Chamber of Secrets?

and Wallander, of course

>>83441865
>Also, everyone killed the guy.
I might have been the last unspoiled person on this story left alive. Guess I won't be picking up the book after all. R.I.P. GG anon no re.

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great casting

>>83441987
>Daisy Ridley

>>83441942
No problem, that just means that you can read 10 Little Niggers (or as it's known now: "And Then There Were None"), Christie's magnum opus masterpiece of legit creepy mystery.
Get it and run before it gets spoiled tho.

Get the ABC Murders too, that book's the shit.

>>83441914
you might be the first person on /tv/ i talk to who saw dead again. i fucking love that movie. saw it a dozen times probably. it's so rewatchable and masterfully done. a great hommage on hitchcock with fantastic music.
frankenstein is also a very underrated branagh film. casting de niro as the creature was retarded though...
do you know peters friends? it's a comfy comedy about friends coming together after not seeing each other for 10 years.

>>83442028
Watched the BBC 3 part special on that last year. it was pretty solid.
The Mercenary didn't deserve his suffering and that fake bitch deserved far more

>Sean Connery character in Sidney Lumet version is now a nigger doctor
>Star Wars Rey whore is gonna get BLACKED

TOP
FUCKING
KEK

How the fuck they'll explain he's a british indian veteran army if he's a fucking nigger?

That casting is insane, but this will be a giant flop

#orientexpresssowhite

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>it's a Kenneth Branagh casts himself as the cool, charismatic, peerless lead in his own movie movie

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>>83441436
tfw you shaved off your handlebars

>>83442039
I saw Peter's Friends. I may or may not have had a crush on Emma Thompson while growing up.

Fuck, now I realize why House/Hugh Laurie always felt familiar to me. He was in that movie.

Agreed on Dead Again. Great movie.

1991 had many good thrillers (Shattered with Tom Berenger was a favorite of mine), but I think one of them came out at the same time and was more popular than Dead Again. Cape Fear, maybe?

>>83442130

To this day I still don't understand why he cast De Niro as the Creature.

>>83442193

Italians aren't white

>>83442130
this. it's really annoying. that guy is bitter that no one in england cares about him so he shoehorns himself into everone of his movies.
i can tell 3 actors who would be better choices for poirot: anthony hopkins, stanley tucci, timothy spall

>>83442193
Because of Raging Bull.

>>83442164
it's probably cape fear.

yeah, hugh laurie was a star in england way before house. he did blackadder and "a bit of fry and laurie" with stephen fry which were all very successful over in england...

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>>83442130

>Kenneth Branagh adapts and directs a Shakespeare adaptation starring himself

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Out of the way Daisyfags! Superior Mary Debenham coming through!

Fuck remakes

>>83442024
Runt of the litter

>>83442309
Doesnt count as remake if its a book adaptation.

>>83441151
>fucking big bass at the beginning
>"Apply modern trailer template 3 please"

>>83442404
>IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE OF REASONS!!!

Autism

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>>83441151
That train car looks way too big on the inside.

>>83441151

i'm a beta fuccboi

can someone tell me how good it feels to not only direct your own film but star in it as well? how fucking awesome it must feel to not have a micro penis and bit flabby tits

FUCK

>black guy is a doctor
>no rail tracer
shit confirmed

Why is there a dead rat attached to his face?

Which set of absolute madmen designed and approved that abysmal facsimile of facial hair?

What's the fucking point of this?

The 1974 version already had a flawless cast and the movie was excellent.

The Suchet version sucked though.

>>83441742
they're trying to cater to Millennials

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>>83442292
And it's always Kino

>>83441151
RIP JUSTass League

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>arbuthnot is turned black so they can sneak in an interracial romance
It's not even funny anymore.

Branagh Lear when?

>>83441742
I have no idea, I thought it was terrible too

>>83442292
his Hamlet is boss as fuck tho

>>83442532
They are not remaking a film, they are filming another adaptation.

It's like saying Jackson's Hobbit films are a remake of the 1977 animated Hobbit. Which would be fucking retarded.

>>83441151
>In 2015, James Prichard, Chairman of Agatha Christie Ltd. and Christie’s great grandson, expressed enthusiasm for sequels, citing the collaboration with Branagh and the production team.[4] In May 2017, Branagh expressed interest in further installments if the film is a success.[24]
How is that going to work

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>ex reading the book
>ask her how is it
>she says good and thinks the countess did it
>i say well i think everyone but her did it
>my dumbass uneducated guess was actually right

>>83441319
I hope it doesn't because the original was garbage.

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BEST POIROT COMING THROUGH

>>83444324
They just make more Poirot movies? How wouldn't it work?

Daisy Ridley is in this? where?

>>83441151
SUE PERIOD MUSIC RETARDS
HOW HARD IS THAT

THE FIRST THING THEY SHOW IS A BLACK MAN EYEING A WHITE WOMAN

WTF

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>>83441151
>Hollywood rehashing the same old shit
>that character introduction
>token black
>shoehorned loud modern pop music

Fucking deplorable, I hope North Korea nukes Log Angeles

>>83441742
>pick currently popular song
>put it in trailer
>stupid people recognize song and have increased chance to see movie

nice to see someone keeping Olivia Colman in work

>>83441151

It's sad to see how low my standards have fallen that i'll now settle for an adaptation not being steam punk or having out of place characters or mu... oh never mind then...

>>83444747
Now that you mention it, there must have already been a Murder at the Orient adaptation that takes place in space, right? That wasn't some Doctor Who or other sci-fi tv-show episode.

It could work.

>>83441385
almost everyone on the train is guilty of a crime

>>83445010
Of course they are, they're white.

Why adapt the same fucking book millions of times

>>83441151
KICKIT.
HERCUUULE POIROIT WHOOP THERE IT IS

>>83441151
i can't help but laugh every time they add the token black guy in there. just that one black guy so the movie isn't too racist with all those white people.

This book made me really angry. I felt that the solution was against the spirit of whodunnit type mysteries but was willing to forgive it. The ending however, where Poirot just goes 'not my problem, it's totally fine that a murder took place and the murderer will go unpunished because the victim was an asshole' goes against basically everything in his character.

i knew there would be diveristy in there, but the doctor is black ayy lmao

>>83444907

Fortunately i know of none save for the Doctor Who one... that was just terrible, unless watched drunk.

>>83441742
>someone made an excel file with a pie chart that says those movies with shitty popsongs in the trailers make more money and now it's fucking everywhere even though there's no proof of correlation

I fucking hate the movie industry

>>83445190
If one of the older women don't faint and then freak out about having a black Doctor checking up on them then I'm calling bullshit.

>>83445208
i wouldn't tell a bunch of people who just murdered a guy that i was gonna arrest them

>>83441151
>johnny depp
DROPPED

>>83441151
Music is awful

they ALWAYS ruin these trailers with some shitty pop song at the end

IT'S A PERIOD PIECE ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING SPOTIFY TOP 50 CHART MUSIC FUCK

>>83445190
>>83445351
at least here it's technically possible. I'm sure there were like 27 black doctors in Britain at the time

>>83441987
That's actually a pretty awesome poster if it didn't have all that text. surprising since most posters are spiderman homecoming tier these days.

>>83441151
Branagh should stick to Shakespeare and Harry Potter

The best version of that tale is the one with David Suchet as Hercule Poirot

>>83441151
What a ridiculous music choice for the trailer

did Agatha Christie blatantly rip off Sherlock Holmes?

>>83445213
And?

>>83446268
Beat me to it.

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>>83441865
Americans have a stagnant culture and are literally incapable of progress.

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Im a fan of the 1974 movie and my waifu Lucy Boynton is in this. So I'm sold.

Daisy still can't act

>>83445208
Illiterates deserve spoilers and anyway, they'll likely change the ending in this schlocky movie to Poirot winning because americans are braindead morons.

At any rate, he made the smart choice. Narcing on the train wouldn't be wise because they'd just kill him too.

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>>83445190

>>83441987
>Daisy Ridley

oh no

>>83446540
Willem Dafoe just doesn't age.

>>83446544
Every fucking time. I swear they're not even hiding the blatant propaganda, the fact that he's even in the same train car in the implied time period is complete fiction.

>>83446540
Daisy looks /fit/

>>83446768
there will be one guy being racist once but whatever he's saying to be racist will be disproven immediately

>>83446768
>the world was apartheid until recent years
I hate /pol/'s revisionist history

>>83441151
>that music
Into the fucking trash it goes.

>>83444624
Shouly have put in some popular nigger rap instead
I heard Kanoe West is popular with the normies.

>>83441151
is this a Tarantino flick?

>>83446850
>apartheid
>Snow everywhere
that ain't south Africa dumbass, trains were segregated, even in europe little over 70-80 years ago.

>>83441151
>orient


Why is this allowed?

>>83446800
>Dat der Negro is the murder, everyone knows Negroes is savages.

>Few scenes later same guy is injured then treated by the black doctor and sees the error in his racist ways.

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B L A C K E D

L

A

C

K

E

D

>>83442225
I wish they let him be thor

>>83447129
did he actually want to be?

>>83443006
That's the size of the camera lens you autist.

>>83447146
no but imagine he was

>>83447195
that's what she said

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>>83447127
Wouldn't be a good movie without a nigger and a coalburner hooking up, you think they'l show the BBC?

>>83443855
Still the best

>>83442077
Watched it as well. Pretty good stuff

>>83447248
Recent trend seems to be to show the bbc but no tits

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>Leslie Odom Jr. as Dr. Arbuthnot
>Dr. Arbuthnot
>Doctor
WE

WUZ

>poirot's hair and mustache isn't black
What?

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>>83447319
WITCHDOCTOR

>>83446544
>>83447127
The funniest part is that the black guy's character really does have a secret romance with Daisy's character.
They literally changed his race so that the one romantic pairing can be about coal burning.

kek

>>83447367

You just KNOW Daisy personally requested that

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>>83447367

the popsong in the end fucking ruined it

>>83447055
Exactly this.

>>83447389
She does seems to like having nogs as a love interest doesn't she?

>>83446989
Legit interested in this. I'm almost pretty sure that the UK didn't have any segregation laws, maybe one if count the Alien Act of 1905, and even then it was mostly jewish immigrants, but I didn't know about this or other countries around the continent.

Where's the info on segregated trains in Europe?
Again, not arguing, actually interested.

>it´s a /pol/ episode

>>83441151
TTT: The movie

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>>83447127
D R O P P E D
R
O
P
P
E
D

>the doctor
>1800s europe
>a nigger

really

>>83447467
Being honest I don't have a first clue, just talkin' shit. Fact is tho that black people in such a casual setting like this was rare back then, (((They're))) clearly pushing a narrative.

>>83444343
it's always like this though

in christie's books the one that's the most likely to have done the murder is 99% of the time innocent. it's super predictable

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>>83447367
>>83447389
>>83447459


DELETE THIS

>>83447542
black people were actually the majority of doctors in europe pre ww1 before they all died on the front lines

>>83447635

What level are you at on Battlefield 1?

>>83447542
>>83447635
Reminder that the story is set in the 1930s

>>83447635
Now this is some historical revisionism

>>83447635
WE

>Depp

dropped. He really is box office poison.

>>83447870
Tell that to his giant bags of cash

>>83447635
True, the Kaiser also wuz black

>pop song
>not using the based tv sow Poirot theme

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8phR94MbhqM

dropped

>>83447870
We get to watch him be stabbed to death in the first 30 minutes though.

>>83447635
how long will it take before this goes mainstream on social media/ main stream media if we parrot this incessently?

>>83448051
Probably like 5 days


but then lets start saying Hitler was black

>>83447357
GIVE US THE MAGIC WORDS!

>>83447542
>Murder on the Orient Express
>1800s
>any of the clothing and hairstyles those people are wearing
>1800s

Amerifat education everybody.

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>Imagine Dragons

How to ruin a trailer in one easy step.

>>83447924

You should be happy that they did not ruin this elder god tier intro song by shoving it into this garbage.

>>83446540
>Daisy standing out like a slap to the face that she doesn't belong in the same room as everyone else

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>>83446544
her face always makes me laugh

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>>83447542

>Poirot story
>1800s

Sir Lord Kenneth of Branagh can usually do no wrong but that trailer was poor. I also don't remember Poirot being an egotist.

Who the fuck doesn't already know the story behind Murder on the Orient Express? That's pure whodunnit-kino.

>>83441457
thanks butthole

Adapting a very famous mystery novel is kind of silly.
What, are they gonna change who did it?
Also, if you somehow have never read Murder at the Orient Express and still are somehow unspoiled on it, go read it immediately, you fag.

>>83447621
Wrong. Agatha Christie plays with expectations a ton. In some cases, it's exactly who you'd think from the get go.

>>83446271
Hercule Poirot is like Sherlock Holmes except actually good and worth reading.

>>83447542
why are amerifats so dumb?

>>83448599
>I also don't remember Poirot being an egotist.

Really? That's why I never got into Poirot.

>>83447924
why does Poiorot in that trailer look like some old fat creep?

>>83448599
Hercule Poirot was very much an egotist.

>>83448649
Lots of younger people.

But yeah, the ending to Orient Express should be widely known. It's classic.

>>83447635
You're right, but that is only because Hitler's black shade of skin attracted them to europe.

Is it? I've never heard if it before good read?

>>83448858
>>83448882
I was young and bored but always thought Suchet's Poirot came across as quite timid. False memories I guess.

>>83448980
Close this thread and go read it right now before you get spoiled. Everyone ever has read that book. It's great.

>>83449003
To be fair, the books did make a bigger deal out of him being a self-centered arrogant dude, but I'm pretty sure that was still fairly present in Suchet's series.

>>83449011
Okay I will

Bye and thank you
>>83448903

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>my retro-fu and my current waifu playing the same role in two different adaptions of the book

what are the chances?

>>83441151
I'm just thanking God that they didn't cast fucking Johnny Depp as Poirot so it didn't turn into another "look at wacky old Johnny and his kooky makeup" movie.

>>83441457
Ban this cunt from life.

>>83441586
Can you deal with it?

>>83448069
WE WUZ FÜHRER!

>>83448599
>Sir Lord Kenneth of Branagh can usually do no wrong
where have you been for the last 10 fucking years?

>>83442130
Was shocked that Depp wasn't Poirot!!

Wasnt doctor Greek?
Why is he a nigger?

They should really advertise that Depp is the one who gets murdered. People would love that shit.

>>83443991
He was a sandnigger in the book, I just read it

>>83447635
Yes, they were modern warrior monks, so they both fought and healed on the front lines. Unfortunately, captured enemy blacks were killed to harvest their melanin.

>>83441457
I'm assuming they change this and have a twist ending.

>>83449252
The Blacks are the Greeks of the modern day.

>>83441987
>josh gad
DROPPED

>>83441151
Hollywood lives to ruin everything I like

>>83441151
oh wow, it's a glorified modern BBC special
pass

>>83449404
Oh, please. The book is still here.

Did anyone watch the original Poirot series with Suchet and a really really awesome theme song?

I can't believe how bad this looks in comparison

>>83449617
Grew up on it. Poirot is best detective

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>>83449617
I did. I hate the new hipster mustache in OP's pic.
Show Poirot mustache was much more fitting

>>83448599

Poirot has good reason to be an egotist, with how smart he is. He's not that bad, though. He's also a really good-hearted guy and unfailingly polite, so it's not like he goes around acting like an autistic asshole to everyone who says stupid shit around him, like most Hollywood geniuses do.

>>83441151
No thanks, I'll stick with the original.

>>83449617

Favorite episodes?

>Poirot's Christmas
>Evil under the Sun
>ABC murders

>>83441151
No thanks, I'll stick with the original.

Don't forget they made Poirot gay.

Damn I think I'm the only one who thought the song was good too.

>>83449707
that's a fake mustache right?

>>83441151

Ben Hur remake bombs.
King Arthur remake bombs.
Baywatch remake bombs.

When will the "it worked before" meme die?

>>83449833
Yes.

>>83449707
but the mustache was explicitly described as "immense" in the books

if anything, this movie actually does justice to the description

i only wish entire characterization would do the same, i bet he will be tall and slim, instead of being a midget fat creature

>>83449844

I liked Ben Hur remake

>>83449815
>Implying Poirot wasn't always gay
Come on

>>83450010

There was an entire episode of him falling in love with a woman.

At worst, he was an asexual

>>83450111
lets be honest it was probably a case of the not-gays because they wanted to not be accused of promoting homosexuality

hercule poirot is definitely a bottom

>>83449809
the one where he shouts like a crazy person at some suspect that he knows didn't do it

>>83449809
>Murder on the Links for that silly ass bet and other detectives
>The Murder of Roger Ackroyd (The ending was probably the best)
>Three Act Tragedy because if I wanted to murder someone I'd probably do something similar, it was a good plan.

ABC murders was by far my favorite though

>>83449844
I think they're cashing in on the whole "british mystery" reboots like RDJ's Sherlock Holmes which really didn't do too badly.

One thing I liked about Poirot is how much trash Christie talked about Sherlock. Hastings would always try to detect hidden rooms or find cigarette ash, hoping a single clue would crack the whole case (much like a lot of Sherlock's cases), but Poirot would come in, call him a dumbass and actually piece together motives and think it through.

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>johnny derp
>imagine dragons

>orient express

nice muslim propoganda

>>83450561
people who make trailers are not the same people who make the movie, hollywood might be shit but it's not so shit that directors purposely make terrible trailers that spoil entire movies

>>83450648
>hiring johnny depp just for a trailer
s u m m u r

>>83450648
>le directors have nothing to do with trailers

redditor detected

>>83445190
>i can't help but laugh every time they add the token black guy in there.

Imagine if he end's up being the murderer. I'd be reading reviews on RT all day with Yakety Sax playing in the background.

>>83447127
How can there still be fans of Daisy on this board?

She's literally being blacked right before our very own eyes. Keep in mind it's not the first time either

>>83441151
i was only interested when i thought it was going to be a mortdecai-style farce

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>>83449380
>josh gad not making you laugh

>>83442292
Not naming his Wallander role.

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Looks pretty good, definitely will watch it
>>83444236
This

>>83441151
>ze greatest detective in the vorld.

>>83441865
>Also, everyone killed the guy.

How is that even possible?

>>83452108
technically they all planned the murder. one guy poisoned him then they all took turns stabbing him

>>83452108
Shenanigans happened.

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I'm in the mood for train crime mystery kino, help me tv

>>83452746
You could try From Russia With Love. A lot of that movie takes place on a train.

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>>83452746

>>83452746
Horror Express (1972)

>>83441385
They all did it

Can't believe they made enough money from Mortdecai to make a sequel

>>83441151
i love david suchet but his version of the story was terrible. bbc had already gone to shit by then, sadly.

this might be alright.

>>83441151
I like Poirot, Branaugh and that is some terrific cast, but that gave me no interest in seeing it.

>>83453309
I didn't care for his version either. Well, it was ok until the whole Catholic ranting at the end.

>>83446950
>Reeee kanye sucks

Get the fuck out of here with that shit. You may not be a fan of his work but Kanye's got some good records.

>>83441987
>all those acclaimed actors and then Josh Gad and Daisy
Did they really had to do it

>>83453809
I don't know who they are, why would they waste space with their name among those others.

File: a2ee8ee0b6b2552ffacb2f4667379eb9.jpg (31KB, 400x331px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 400x331px

>>83443855
His Hamlet is one of my favorite movies of all time. Kino as fuck.

>>83449252
Dindus invented greek culture, didn't you know this? they were literally kangz and shiieet. evil whiteys stole everything from them and took credit.

>>83449844

They keep trying things until one happens to work, and then they develop amnesia and pretend it will work for the next 10 tries. The cycle repeats. It's just gambling with audience approval at this point.

>>83441151
>Another adaptation of Murder on the Orient Express

Yeah, no thank you. Particularly one directed by Kenneth Branagh.

>>83455131
what's wrong with kenny b, ya faggot