Why didn't /tv/ see the most FUNNY, RAUNCHY and #LITTY BLOCKBUSTER

>>83406179
I was too busy sticking it to the Patriarchy by watching Wonder Woman, #FEMINISM FUCK YEAH

C'mon guys

Get #litty

I like to imagine pebbles sitting with his family in the theatre. And at every slight joke he breaks into forced hysterics and gives them a death glare until they half-heartedly chuckle.

>>83406179
did Rock really said the piss part?or is it just a meme

>>83406414
not a meme bro, I was literally pissing in my seat while I was watching the movie.

I feel sorry for whoever has to clean up that theater.

Was there actually a dick scene in this movie?

The hell does "litty" even mean?

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>>83406179

>>83408074
Yup. Only nudity in the movie.

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>>83406293
>“I think people have a misconception about what feminism is. People think hairy armpits and women who burn bras and hate men. That’s not it. For me, feminism is all about equality and freedom and [women] choosing what we want to do. If it’s salaries, then we get paid equal to men. It’s not men vs. women or women vs. men.”

>>83406667
I was pissing so hard from laughter I didn't notice how I shat myself as well. My sides were bursting apart and my ribcage flung open with each breath. Pretty much everyone in the room started to explode from laughing so hard, it was the second best kin experience of my life, right after Paul Blart! Boy, what a movie!

>>83408417
>for me

Fucking die

>>83408124
i think its a new word for hot, fire, lit up, as in its happening its on fire, its hip its cool its in and now

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>>83408237
>baywatch
>only nudity is a dick

>>83408524
triggered.

>>83408124
Google, bruh.

What the fuck is his problem?
I thought he was an ultra Chad, so why is he acting like an insecure /r9k/ poster?

>>83408629
He has a small dick.

>>83408654
'cuz he's been juicin' since caprisun

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One more

>>83408620
>>83408593
>>83408563
>>83408524
does he end every tweet with a nigger emoji hand? he's almost fucking 50 holy shit.

>raunchy
>2017

Well hello, fellow kids!

>>83406179
why was he crying

>>83408563
>>83408593
>>83408620
Why didn't he sperg out and publicly shame himself when nobody liked San Andreas? Or Pain and Gain? Or almost any other movie he has had a role in?

It's just bizarre, like he's been bottling all of it for years and just decided to let it all out on Baywatch of all movies.

>>83408237
Does anybody have a pic?

>>83408686
>rock cant handle the bantz
why is he so passive aggressive?

>>83408740
thingken of critics

>>83408740
Thingken about baywatch

>>83408237
What on earth were they thinking

>>83408417
Then why do I keep seeing shit like #killallmen? You can keep saying that it isn't real feminism, but when such a large proportion act that way it really doesn't matter if it's "real" or not because it affects things.

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Mfw people think The Rock is our generation's Arnold.

He must have invested a lot of his own money

>>83408524
>implying that isn't the best emoji to piss someone off

>>83408417
>Wanting equality.

What a fucking cuck.

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>>83408881
But Arnold stared in good movies at one point.
The Wayne "The Rock" John's Son never did.

>>83408881
>implying there will ever be a second arnold of any generation

>>83408989
>He doesn't think Walking Tall is a good movie
>He doesn't think The Rundown is a good movie
Let me guess Predator? Twins? Kindergarten Cop?

>>83408989
>>83409002
Exactly. That and The Rock' "charm" feels really awkward and forced.

>>83408828
It's not a large proportion. The right-wing SJWs on the Internet blow the stupidity of the left-wing SJWs out of proportion.

>>83409031
I like the rock. I admit I watched some WWE when I was like 10 and he was my favourite guy in that show. I liked him in Be cool when he was just making the switch to acting. Did a stellar job in B-movies or side roles like in the Doom movie, he always stood out and had charisma. He didn't feel like just another actor who didn't quite make it like most people in those roles do.

Much better than most guys known for their muscles. Definitely a better actor than Vin Diesel or Stallone even if Stallone has been in better movies. The fast and the furious movies are a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine and he's totally taken over the series (along with Jason Statham) by actually being a competent actor. He isn't just ridiculously big but also has comedic timing and delivery which is rare for the action star type.

But he's no Arnold. Arnold is unique not only due to his god-like aesthetics still widely considered the closest thing to perfection ever seen but because of his silly accent and working around it gave his movies such a distinct feel. Somehow he made it work.

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>>83409305
>right wing SJW

Wait, so are actual SJW's using the term SJW as an insult now? Did they realize how stupid they were being or?

>>83409370
Highly doubt he could pull a Rocky 1, 6 or Fist Blood performance.

>>83408686
please tell me that he posted more than just this

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The Rock catering to feet pervs.

>>83409469
Like I said stallone has been in better movies and I like stallone too but first blood or rocky 1 weren't good because of stallone. His "acting" comes off as someone who's literally braindead.

Though you're right he probably couldn't pull those movies off, but that's because the rock is much more of a comedic actor than stallone. It's would just be bad casting. But he could do a much better job than stallone in another role more suited for him which allowed to humor. Any time stallone tries to be funny or really play any character that requires delivery of lines (like Cop land) the result is awful.

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>>83406179
Oh but I did

Who /RAUNCHY/ here? Seeking some RELEASE from numbing ANGUISH me and the boys rolled up to DAS KINOPLEX last night after a harrowing forty mile TREK through the frozen WRAITH-ZONE making it just as the ravenous TYRANT MOTHS began their pre-mating MANHUNT. The distant FOG-HORNS gradually being overtaken by the deadly, silken FLUTTERING of their sable WINGS.

The EMBERS of the last audience were dying down in the CREMATORIA, needless to say we had a good LAUGH in the PENIS INSPECTION line when my bro Skyler got DRAGGED OFF by the guards to serve a fifty year sentence in the POPCORN MINES for wearing a non-regulation FALCONER'S GLOVE. The SHOWERS were pumping that good-ol' ZYKLON-B that gets you extra loose for the RAUNCHY fun; trying to hold your BREATH is good practice for trying not to PISS yourself later.

My man ROBERT served us up some tasty and very litty CRAB LEGS with extra 'BUTTER', well worth the SEVEN HUNDRED and EIGHTY TWO dollars FIFTY for the TIP.

Once we were INSIDE the film hadn't even STARTED before the first drips of PISS came out. An y'all just KNOW that nothing sets off the bloodlust of a TERROR-GHEIST like warm, 'buttery' PISS. Half the SQUAD was DRAGGED into the OUTER-DARKNESS before our BLADDERS were half-empty but even the keening shrieks of the ORPHANED ONES couldn't drown out this raucous COM-BOMB.

When the GUARDS came to finish off the SURVIVORS I was able to ESCAPE by using the CORPSE of my bro JONNY D as a CANOE when the lake of PISS was drained down the sluice normally used for flushing blood and FLESH. I only had to wait THREE HOURS in the rank soup of run-off MEDICAL WASTE and avoid the TELEPATHIC SHARKS that make the sewers their HOME. It wasn’t so bad except for being driven MAD by the hungry WHISPERS of all the GHOSTS.

10/10 SUMMER FUN, would SEE again!

>>83409609
>His "acting" comes off as someone who's literally braindead.

You're just saying that because of the way he talks which is not Stallone's fault.

I don't use social media but someone who does should start messaging him pretending to be a tard-wrangler whose special-needs group went to see BAYWATCH together and LOVED it, despite having a few LITTLE ACCIDENTS from laughing so much and they all want to go again. I guarantee he'd tweet back saying he appreciates it

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>>83408743
he wasn't running for president back then, the tweets are part of his plan to show to the world how presidential he can be

>>83409719
I know he's paralyzed in half of his face or whatever, but if you can't show emotion or speak clearly is acting really for you?

If I called 911 and they sent a fireman in a wheelchair to rescue me I wouldn't really care about the backstory of how he lost his legs if it made him unable to do his job.

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Anyon here an asshole for being awesomely cool and do a flying karate kick?

They should have just called it Lifeguards or something with a cameo by Hasselhoff or pamela Anderson instead of Baywatch

>>83409027
Those are all better movies Dwayne but Arnold was in a string of pure unironic, cinema as art, kino for ten years and the rock (you) could never have pulled off any of them.

>>83409027
>terminator
>terminator 2
>commando
>predator
>running man
>total recall
>last action hero
who other level of quality from those you mentioned tbqh

>>83409027
Predator is a legitimately good action film that stands head and shoulders above EVERYTHING that The Rock has done.

>>83409027
>Conan the Barbarian
>The Terminator
>Commando
>Predator
>The Running Man
>Total Recall
>Terminator 2: Judgement Day
>True Lies
All classics that are infinitely better than The Rock's pathetic filmography. The Rock's filmography is so bad Raw Deal and Kindergarten Cop are masterpieces compared to it.

>>83410145
Above everything The Rock has done COMBINED.

>>83410382
kindergarten cop is good without any extra help

>>83408417
>Muh equality

Yeah, that's why it's called egalitarianism and not "female-ism"

>>83409910
>>83409608
Footfag detected.

>pebble posting is now a major meme
>Nobody bothers to shop pictures of Dwayne breaking in or anything fun
/tv/ fucking sucks. /v/ outclasses us in every way

Based Vin is laughing his ass off


>Retards from /tv/ trying to JUST Vin Diesel because of shitty FF rumors with the Rock

That was cringe as fuck...good thing its over

>>83408417
>For me, it is the mcfeminism, all the great crispy benefits with no soggy cold male hatred.

jesus

dwayne is the most passive aggressive person alive with all these emojis

>>83408593
why is posting the 'call me' hand emoji like it's a surfer brah cowabunga hand motion? is he retarded?
I mean i know he's Samoan, but still....

>>83409393
"Mom said they were out of short sleeves in the XXXXXXL size so I got the long sleeve one, it covers my cutting scars and I'm not happy about that but whatevs, it's about the females not me rite?"

>>83411934
I don't buy his always positive waking up a 4am schtick.

>>83409663
this post is better than Baywatch the movie

>>83410744
Sup Vin?

>>83409910
Jesus Christ, who the hell is running the show over at Parade?

>>83409609
>first blood or rocky 1 weren't good because of stallone

Well, he did WRITE Rocky...so that's a tough argument to make.

It's not too late, bros. The Rock can still be this generation's Arnold, r-right?

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>>83408237
wait wat

>>83412097
Fair enough. I actually didn't know that. And he did do a good job in that role even if it didn't ask for much. I'm just saying the guy can't really act unless the script calls for a mumbling retard.

>>83406179
I only watch movies on my computer after they've left theaters

>>83409663
Ujderrated post and I really mean it this time

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>>83412109
No, he will never have his presence. He's a sellout chump.

>>83406387
>t.Critic

This movie is for FANS only.

>>83409663
>when my bro Skyler got DRAGGED OFF by the guards to serve a fifty year sentence in the POPCORN MINES for wearing a non-regulation FALCONER'S GLOVE

so that's what happened to mountain dew

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>>83408417
>Pretty much none of them even acknowledge Rotherham

At least we can agree feminists are selfish cowards.

>>83406179
WHO /RAUNCHY/ HERE?

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>>83408417
>>83410466
so whats the difference between feminism, egalitarianism, and humanism?

>>83413782
Not much. They're all cancer in their own ways.

>>83408573
What's Google?

>>83406179
Wait what's the source for this meme

Did Zach say anything about this movie?

>>83410145
>>83410395
Ignore that slackjawed faggot, watching Predator will make you into a goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me.

>>83409663
"This post is funny because of its contextualization and entertaining due to the unpredictable story. At the end I totally fell like I wanted to have the same experience one more time. It can hold to the classic copypastas of this generation. Truly a masterpiece. 10/10" Anon

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>>83408237
>Rock produces a Baywatch movie
>has nudity
>but it's a dick

What is he trying to tell us?

>>83414212
that it's no coincidence his name rhymes with cock

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>>83409608
I thought only men could be footfags for girls.

>>83412279
Me on left calling the police.

>>83409663
>Someone actually sat there found a picture of the rock, crop his face out, edit his face onto someone/something, saved the picture, typed in RAUNCHY.png to save as the filename, came to 4chan, came to /tv/, came to this thread specifically to this thread, typed all of this out, proof read it, clicked on "choose file", searched for the RAUNCHY.png picture they just made, upload it, ticked the "I'm not a robot" reCAPTCHA, selected all of the similar objects in the square boxes as told, clicked on the verify button, then finally clicked on post.

10/10

>>83416337
kek

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My back teeth are floating
On this theater seat I'm boating
Because there's a raunchy litty com
Made me piss all over mom
Can't stop laughing, won't stop peeing
Dead man's scrote is all I'm seeing
Pants drenched in urine, popcorn soggy
Room's most definitely smelling boggy
Critics hate it, fans are happy
Now my hair's a little nappy
Streams are soaking from all sides
Down the aisle someone slides
In this house not one dry bladder
RT score is getting sadder
Rock has crushed it, Effron too
Just wear a diaper, floor's the loo

>>83416337
>ticked the "I'm not a robot" reCAPTCHA, selected all of the similar objects in the square boxes as told
hello newfriend, might want to look into legacy captcha

Perhaps they were thinking about how to make one of the FUNNEST franchises in history? Seriously each minute following the Rock and his pals from Emerald Bay as they get into assorted RAUNCHY situations has been more hysterical than the last. Aside from the FANS loving it , the audiences only consistency has been its lack of bladder control and ineffective use of criticism, all to make movies FUN, to make R-RATINGS seem RAUNCHY.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rock vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; he made sure the movie would never be mistaken for an out of touch serious film that meant anything to anybody? Just ridiculously litty RAUNCHY summer FUN. Baywatch might be anti-kid (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-critics film in its refusal of snooze, dullness and g-rated fun. No critic wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>b-but the critical reception is fair
"No"
The criticism is dreadful; their opinions are terribly out of touch. As I read, I noticed that every time a critic marked it negatively, the author wrote instead that the jokes "fell flat."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Critc's minds are so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that they has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Wonder Woman by the same critic. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are watching Wonder Woman at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to watch Buzzfeed." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you watch "Wonder Woman" you are, in fact, trained to watch Buzzfeed, and that's not litty at all.

>>83408620
Hes targeting critics Now? Insecure fuck

>>83418452
no

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>>83418440

BR-Rip when?
There's no way I'm paying for the softest of softcore in 2017

>>83418426
I did use the modern bullshit box one though, how do I into legacy captcha? It's surreal how 9 times out of 10 I get asked to select all the vehicles there are never any and it's just a picture of weeds or a dead tree.

>>83416337
>someone typed this all up and put thought into it
>you just read this
>I blinked just now and need to take a breath in

>>83420120
>decades from now, or maybe much sooner you will be lying in a hospital bed, your life fading away, you will remember this and all the time between will seem like the blink of an eye, and as your eyes close for the last time you will realise what you could have done with the years you spent on 4chan

>>83420120
>I just moved the muscle in my arm connected to my right index finger in order to click the mouse button while the pointer was positioned over the post number of the anon I was trying to reply to
>I then entertained the synapses in my brain in order to craft a #litty response, and when satisfied with it, danced my fingers across the keyboard in order to facilitate the communication of my ideas
>clicked "submit" while thinking about and doubting everything i've ever done in my life so far

>>83408766
Years of steroid abuse.

>>83418130
underrated

I think we're all missing the point here, we need to start putting a LOT more effort into figuring out what the fuck litty means otherwise it'll die with this meme and no one will remember it until the yearly meme round up. I think it could be the new 'cuck'.

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>>83409027
Idk man, Dwayne just doesn't look as cool as Arnold did in his prime, (see Commando, Predator) don't get me wrong though Dwayne is still a pretty cool guy but he'll never be on par with Arnold.

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>>83418130

>>83420196
>>83420214
Glad to have you here, I have low battery.
Did we ever figure out just what the Rock was really cooking?

>>83420196
I could have shit posted with much more enthusiasm, your right!

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>>83420369
Dwayne is aesthetic but ARNOLD is god tier 10/10 all time physique. Greek classicism meets American indulgence. He was a bodybuilding artist and understood posing. Can you even imagine Arnold ever looking this awkward. No.

>>83411878
underabed :D

>>83416337
>came to 4chan, came to /tv/, came to this thread
As did I

>>83420468
Raunchy FUN and jets of warm PISS!

>>83408686
Wasn't that movie called good luck Chuck

>>83423201
No I think it was Feed Sneed Seed