Hey guys it's your boy The Rock™ Hope you guys are spending

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>>83332275
*blocks your path*
Let's see you try and beat me big guy

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why is he so desperate?

>>83332275
Beautiful feet <3

Just got back from seeing BAYWATCH with my crew. We roll pretty deep and let me tell you, not a dry seat in the house. The piss was intense. Piss dripping out the seats, piss flowing down the aisles, piss in the popcorn. Piss jets in every direction. I actually shit myself three times, I told the door monkey and he was like "Aww here goes" and we fist bumped. It was all a good vibe. Great night out and if you roll with a chill crew and not a bunch of permavirgin goobers then you'll have a wicked sick time. SLAYED.

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>>83332335
*blocks your criticism*

why is /tv/ a bunch of gossiping housewives?

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>rockposting

>>83332677
Someone better tweet this with the baywatch hashtag and hope the rock picks it up

>>83332275
Hey Dwayne, I'm going to go see Baywatch™ in my local cinema, here's hoping I SHIT myself laughing because of all the FUNNY jokes!

>>83332275
P. S. Don't listen to the critics. People just want to turn off their brain and watch an awesome movie starring me.

>>83332275
Can confirm, I urinated™ myself watching it. It was a clear healthy stream, not yellowish with tinges of blood.

>>83332358
Roids. Probably masking massive insecurity which is why he put on all that muscle like some sort of security blanket.

>>83332778
'Cause The Rock is sperging over people not liking his movie.

Movie was actually pretty fun if you went in pretty buzzed with friends. But don't tell Dwayne that

>>83332275
Hah I loved your RAUNCHY R-rated summer fun and laughs made for the FANS
Ignore the critics and their jarring diconnection

>>83332358
>as a stroid man you kept your shirt on too long, Rocky ;)
If this fag said shit like that to Rock in highschool he would've got put in a casket. Thing is he probably wouldn't say gay shit like that.

>>83332677

lol pretty gud

>>83332275
I was having problems with my bladder, not able to urinate for days at a time. But as soon as I saw your new RAUNCHY R-RATED comedy (since I'm mature enough to admit I enjoy that kind of thing) I IMMEDIATELY started pissing uncontrollably
You could say I'm a Baybro now, haha!

>>83333121
>>83332677
We are LOVIN the piss stories. Not a dry sock or seat in the house. Big disconnect w/ critics. People are LOVING this raunchy lil R-rated summer comedy. Global next week,

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>>83332677

>"Aww here goes"

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>>83332275
>>83333028


how fucking butthurt are you over a gay baywatch movie of all things? how many times are you going to make this shitty thread today

>>83332747
kek he just needs a green wig and he looks just like an oompa loompa

>>83333316
no Dwayne, how butthurt are YOU?

>>83333316
>t. critic not ready for a dirty lil R-Rated summer comedy

>>83333333

Is he really butthurt?

>>83332275
This has potential but you really need some shopped images for it to take off.

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>>83332677

>>83333316
Oh boy, critics had their venom & knives ready . Fans LOVE the movie. Huge positive scores. Big disconnect w/ critics & people. #Baywatch

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>>83332275

>>83332275
>fat boys and nu=males BTFO daily by real men

>only recourse is to keep making these threads


What a sad life you live.

>>83332677
>Aww here goes
what?

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There's no need to watch movies when you have sprawling interactive narratives.

>>83332677
send this to the rock

>>83333792
hey dwayne how is it going

haha, hey there brotha's! Its me the Rock!

Just postin' in to my fans to update them on my new passion project.

I hope you enjoy my new R RATED RAUNCHY SUMMER FLICK Baywatch™

Just finished watching a screening with my friend KEVIN HART earlier and we were pumped to see such raunchy action on screen. Kevin turned to me and said
"Ay you, Dwayne The Rock™ Johnson this shit crazee with two e's" and was so Friggin' pumped that he got up and started jiving right there in the theater and had me pissin' my seat wetter than an arabs mouth around a white girl (haha just jokin' my muslim brotha's)

Dont worry about those dinosaur critics brothas! They arent ready for a REAL summer flick and dont know what fans want and they never have! fans LOVE #Baywatch .I have literally tens of messages coming in each week from rabid fans who cant get enough of this crazy hot summer flick.


Pop a cool one my Niggas and god bless america!

>>83333587
lel

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>>83333870

>>83333831
i pirated your game(s)

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>>83332275
>your boy

>>83332677
As a straight man I gotta say brotha, we had an INTENSE wet vibe with the crew, getting squadgoals by standing over squatholes, you know what I mean? House gave complimentary 2 gallon pop and pisscorn drinks if you came early to marathon the INTENSE baywatch trailer, was real tough keeping dry during the trailer alone.

Then the REAL hours started when baywatch started up SICK and DAMP, the staff started coming in to perform mutual analingus, I got a guy to be my person pisscorn anus and let me tell you that shit was FINGER LICKIN GOOD

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orale

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Where did the pee thing come from?

Dwayne needs to humble himself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GH-clA1AlPQ

I mean the Rock was OK but Brett Hart was the sport.

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>>83332677
> not a dry seat in the house. The piss was intense.

Brett Hart my motherfucking cracker.

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PISS

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>>83332677

>>83334152
https://twitter.com/TheRock/status/867859950307069953

>>83334298
2nd place only to my man Tijiri.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xNzPOa-HaE

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>>83332677
GON' GIT LITTY BRO

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>>83332677
wew

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>>83332677

>>83332677
this is now pasta