OK /tv/ I'm going to rewrite and redeem The Phantom

Communications

A Phantom Menace thread can only mean one thing

can someone replace the brown part of his clothing with a buff male body

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The Phantom Menace

Act I

Scene i

Queen Amidala is crowned on Naboo.
Among the people paying their respects to her are Jar-Jar Binks and Darth Maul.
After the ceremony, Jar-Jar communicates with Ki-Adi-Mundi, head of the Jedi High Council. He tells him that he senses that Amidala is very strong in the Force, and also that he sensed evil in the coronation room.
Darth Maul also communicates, with Darth Sidious. He tells him that he senses that Amidala is very strong in the Force. Sidious tells him that Amidala constitutes a threat to their plans for a forward base on Naboo. He orders Maul to see if she can be turned, and if not, to have her killed.

Sorry, should have tripfagged... I am OP / 83040250.

Scene ii

Qui-Gon Jinn and his Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, are practice fighting with low-intensity light sabers.
Obi-Wan wins, and Qui-Gon tells him that he has nothing more to teach him about fighting. Obi-Wan is flustered and disappointed because he respects Qui-Gon immensely, but Qui-Gon explains that he has more knowledge of other aspects of the Force than fighting, and that Obi-Wan will have to learn more about fighting from other masters, such as Mace Windu.
Qui-Gon is called to speak to Ki-Adi-Mundi.
Ki-Adi-Mundi tells Qui-Gon that there may be a threat to the newly crowned Queen of Naboo. He explains that Jar-Jar is a gentle soul, not very intelligent but very trustworthy and Force-sensitive. He orders Qui-Gon and his Padawan to go to Naboo to see what is going on, and to protect Amidala if they must.

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Scene iii

Darth Maul meets with Queen Amidala. He mentions that his organization is building a power installation on Naboo, and that they ask that it not be subject to inspection by the Naboo authorities. She refuses the request. He offers her a bribe to be allowed to close the installation to inspection. She rejects the bribe indignantly, saying that she must have the welfare of her people at heart.
The next to meet Amidala are Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. They say that their mission is a diplomatic one, to strengthen ties between the Jedi and their contacts on Naboo. She happily lets them stay in the royal palace while on Naboo.
The Jedi leave the meeting. Obi-Wan mentions that Amidala is very beautiful, and Qui-Gon says that she is very strong in the Force. Obi-Wan admits that he could not sense her strength in the Force, and Qui-Gon says that Obi-Wan's ability to do that will increase over time.
That evening, a guard watching over the Palace is killed. The killer makes it into the Palace, but is killed by another guard.
Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon meet with Jar-Jar. He tells them that evil is all around. They are called from the meeting by another Gungan, who tells them that there has been a murder at the royal residence.
They go to the royal residence and talk to the guards. The guards tell them that the intruder was a common burglar, but Qui-Gon finds an insignia on his weapon that he recognizes as one associated with the Sith.

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Scene iv

In the half-built "power installation", Darth Maul meets with his henchmen, all wearing the Sith insignia openly. He tells them that they have an ally within the Palace.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan meet with Queen Amidala and tell her that she is in great danger, and ask for permission to investigate and protect her. She tells them that she trusts them, although she doesn't know exactly why, and gives them permission.
There is an increasingly sophisticated series of attacks aimed at Queen Amidala, each thwarted by Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.
The audience learns that the traitor in the Palace is Sio Bibble, and that he has accepted Maul's bribe and is collaborating with the assassins.
Qui-Gon concludes that something very wrong is going on, beyond the power of a Jedi and a Padawan to combat. He consults with Senator Palpatine, Head of the Republic Senate's Security Committee, and he invites them to Coruscant.
Qui-Gon insists that Amidala come with them to Coruscant for protection and to plan a strategy, and she agrees.

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Act II

Scene i

Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Amidala leave Naboo. As they depart, they are attacked by a mysterious ship that destroys their robotic guard ships and damages their ship before they can get to light speed.
They are forced to drop out of light speed and go to the nearest planet so their ship can be repaired.
That planet turns out to be Tattooine. Qui-Gon is disturbed by something as they approach and land, but says nothing.
Qui-Gon sends Obi-Wan out to reconnoiter. Padme (now dressed in civilian clothes) insists to be allowed to accompany him. Qui-Gon reluctantly agrees.
With Obi-Wan and Padme out, Qui-Gon communicates with Yoda. He asks when the last reconnaisance of Tattooine was. Yoda tells him it was about 13 years ago, why? Qui-Gon says that he senses someone on the planet who is extremely powerful in the Force, but also immature and angry, very vulnerable to the Dark Side.
In this scene, there are several indications that Obi-Wan is attracted to Padme, and she eventually notices them too.

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Scene ii

Obi-Wan and Padme buy the part they need for their ship. Obi-Wan realizes that there is someone around who is very strong in the Force. He finds him: a boy who is working for Watto, the owner of a gambling house.
Obi-Wan and Padme follow the boy to his squalid house. Saying that they are Republic inspectors carrying out a survey of working conditions, they meet the boy, Anakin Skywalker, and his mother, Shmi. They say that they are slaves and that they are treated legally, but just within the boundaries of the law.
Obi-Wan reports back to Qui-Gon excitedly that he has sensed the power of the boy, and tells him what he has learned. Qui-Gon tells Obi-Wan to tread carefully, and asks him to find out how much it would cost to buy the boy and his mother.
Obi-Wan asks Watto, and finds that even for just the boy, it would cost more than they have, because Watto uses the boy to throw off his gambling machines to maximize his profit. Obi-Wan reports back to Qui-Gon, and Qui-Gon asks him to bring Anakin to the ship.
There is a tense meeting between Qui-Gon and Anakin in the dark ship. Qui-Gon senses the great power and anger in the boy, and convinces him to join them, to be trained as a Jedi and escape slavery. He promises Anakin that once they are on Coruscant, they will ask the Jedi council to buy Anakin's mother and bring her out of slavery as well.

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Scene iii

Darth Maul's forces build their "power installation" up on Naboo. The Captain of the Guard, Quarsh Panaka, goes to inspect it, and is denied entry. He sees that something very wrong is going on, and talks to Sio Bibble, who is in effective control of Naboo. Bibble tells him not to worry and to stop trying to inspect it, and Panaka becomes suspicious.
Jar-Jar Binks sneaks into the "power installation" and finds that in fact it is heavily fortified and manufacturing weapons. He tells Quarsh Panaka, and Panaka goes to the Naboo Council to confront Bibble. The meeting goes badly, and Panaka is ejected, but the other members of the Council become suspicious of Bibble's motives.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan visit Watto to negotiate for the emancipation of Anakin. They agree to gamble for it. Qui-Gon, against all principles of Jedi morality, influences the game with the Force in order to ensure that it goes their way. Obi-Wan questions Qui-Gon's judgement for the first time.
A pitched battle breaks out on Naboo between forces loyal to Panaka, and forces from Darth Maul's base, wearing the Sith insignia. Panaka's forces narrowly win.
Jar-Jar communicates with Qui-Gon, telling them that they and the Queen are urgently needed back on Naboo to restore order. Qui-Gon realizes that there is no time to visit Coruscant, and agrees to go back to Naboo. Shmi says goodbye to her son and they board the ship.

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Act III

Scene i

Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Padme, and Anakin go back to Naboo. They are welcomed warmly by Bibble, who knows that he cannot continue to keep control now that the widely-respected Queen is back.
Panaka's forces try to maintain order against random acts of sabotage.
There is a serious assassination attempt directly against Amidala, thwarted by Obi-Wan. The assassin is revealed to be Bibble himself. They take him before the Naboo Council to question him, but before he can say anything about who he is in league with, he dies from an explosive device that has been implanted in his brain.
It becomes clear that many members of the security forces are loyal to Bibble and have defected to the side of the rebels.
Darth Maul communicates with Darth Sidious, who tells him that with the death of Bibble and the interference of the Jedi, there may be a better way to deal with Amidala.
Padme and Anakin are put into a safe room deep in the Palace for protection, with two guards.

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Scene ii

There is an all-out assault on the Palace by the rebels, who are now all openly wearing the Sith insignia. As Panaka tries to hold it back, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon infiltrate Maul's "power installation" with the help of Jar-Jar.
The battle is going badly for Panaka, but just as the rebels have broken down the gate and are pouring into the compound, Republic troops arrive from space, led by General Tarkin and Prince Bail Organa, and bringing with them Senator Palpatine.
However, at the same time, the rebels release mouse-like "seeker" robots, that seek out Amidala's safe room.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan kill some guards at Maul's installation. Jar-Jar is knocked out.
The seeker robots infiltrate the safe room. One of the guards shoots one of them, but two others kill the guard.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan confront Maul and begin to fight him.
The seekers are all over the safe room now. Amidala gets a gun. She and the surviving guard both try to shoot and kill them all. Anakin, in fear and panic, uses the Force to pick one up and smash it.

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Scene iii

The Republic forces push out some more rebels from the Palace compound.
Maul kills Qui-Gon (the inferior fighter). Obi-Wan, grief-stricken and enraged, pursues him.
The other guard in the safe room is killed by a seeker, but now Anakin is picking up and smashing them with the Force, stamping them out with his feet to finish the job, and Padme has killed several too.
The Republic forces retake the compound and wipe out the last of the rebels. As Organa's forces mop up, Palpatine leads Tarkin and a group of soldiers to the Palace, "to make sure Amidala is safe".
Obi-Wan breaks Maul's light saber and cuts off one of his legs. Maul, hopping, somersaulting and walking on his hands, escapes to a ship and flies off. Obi-Wan rescues Jar-Jar and they return to the palace.
Palpatine and his forces go to the throne room, and find Amidala not there. They are told that she is in the safe room.
Obi-Wan and Jar-Jar get to the safe room just before Palpatine and his forces reach it. All the seeker robots are dead. Anakin flies into Obi-Wan's arms for comfort. Padme tells Jar-Jar that Anakin saved her. Palpatine looks closely at Anakin.

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Scene iv

There is a funeral for Qui-Gon on Naboo. Ki-Adi-Mundi and Yoda attend.
Palpatine turns on the charm to Anakin, telling him that he's very special.
Ki-Adi-Mundi promotes Obi-Wan to Jedi Knight, and tells him that he can train Anakin as his Padawan. Yoda warns that Maul is still alive, and he may be connected to other powerful figures sympathetic to the Sith.
There is some debate about who should remain on Naboo to protect it. Amidala's word wins the day: Organa's forces remain on Naboo, and Tarkin flies off with Palpatine.
Obi-Wan tells Padme that he hopes to soon see her again, and she replies, more diffidently, that she hopes so too. The Jedi group departs to Coruscant.

THE END

Well?

Oh well. If you at least read it all, then thank you.