http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Anak in_Skywalker >Believe

>>82993373
It's apparently heavily implied in the EU that Palpatine uses the force to impregnate Anakin's mom with midichlorians

>>82993373
Alleged leaks claim Snoke is Anakin's father

>>82993462
Gracious. That Sheev was one sneaky bastard

Did you not watch the prequels at all?

>>82993592
Yeah, sure I watched the prequels. There was no father stated for Anakin. I just assumed that Dad was killed by vindictive Hutts or something, somewhere along the way.

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>>82993462
>ywn be able to do this to some random peasant woman

>>82993675
Time to rewatch them.

THE FLIGHT PLAN LISTS SHMI, MAIMEN, AND DOCTOR PAVELEER, BUT ONLY ONE OF YOU

>>82993373
Anakin is just some fag's illegitimate child. The entire series is the story of a bunch of people without parents or who had crappy parents messing up the entire galaxy.

>>82993373
The Immaculate Conception was about his mom you dumbfuck.

>>82993373
It was the force tree. Every millenium, it releases two seeds into the universe: a light one and a dark one.

In the OT/perquels, Palpatine is the end result of the dark seed, while Anakin is the end result of the light seed. Eventually, the two balance out.

Rey and Kylo represent these two seeds in the new trilogy.

>>82993462
Not in the EU, in Episide 3

>>82993373
Next movie, she is revealed as Snoke. It was her all along. Why else would Anakin kill all those kids? Mommy dearest told him to.

>>82993373
Ridley is hack.

>>82994207
>Every millenium
>Or like 40 years whatever lol

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>>82993462
>Palpatine uses the force to impregnate Anakin's mom

did he force push his load into shimi's old worn out vagina?

>>82993462
So basically palpatine cucked the entire jedi council because he's annies biological dad. You can't get child support for a force impregnation tho. D E V I L I S H

>>82994207
midi-chlorians and all the force EU mythology bullshit are the stupidest things to happen to star wars. Did George not realise that people liked starwars because it was a cool space adventure?

>>82993373
A few years before the events of episode 1, Sheev and his master tried to manipulate the force on a grand scale and make it do their bidding. The force "pushed back" and responded by making a being that would be powerful enough to destroy them one day. That's the official explanation.

>>82994642
Your own imagination ruined star wars. Midichlorians are nowhere near as damaging as the things introduced in NuWars

>>82994773

So then basically when he turned anakin, palpatine cucked the force?

>>82994797
What they are is a symptom of Georges inability to tell a story coherently. Can't think of a plot, time to use the Christ analogy seen in every other terrible movie. No one wanted to know about the origins of the force because Yoda explained all we need to know. At least NuWars tries to focus on characters on stories instead of Galactic politics and retarded jedi organisations

>>82994826
>I've never seen Return of the Jedi

>>82994642
He needed some way to justify why Anakin was taken off Tatooine. Qui-Gon could have just said "the force is strong with him" and that could have sufficed, but Lucas felt there needed to be more of a reason. So he introduces a metric that can be used to prove Anakin is off the charts.

Implying that these midi-chlorians somehow impregnated Anakins mom is the real issue. If he just leaves that shit out and instead gives Anakin a father (some random or maybe a too be discovered later force user), then the MCs don't seem so bad. They are just handy for measuring a person's base force.

>>82995083
>No one wanted to know about the origins of the force because Yoda explained all we need to know.
Midichlorians are literally what Yoda described.

NuWars has completely trivialized the space aspect of Star Wars. There is no reason to even tell a story in a setting without internal logic.

>>82995579
yeah, thats basically what I was getting at. midichlorians by themselves are just an unnecessary bit of detail, the whole creating life, heavy handed JediJesus thing is what I don't like.

>>82995734
The prequels are devoid of internal logic, what are you on about? I didn't like TFA that much but where does it contradict previous star wars canon? (EU doesn't count)

>Yay we beat the Trade Federation! M-master Obi Wan can we go free my mom now
>..........
>m-master......
>...........
>.....................

>Anakin represents Jesus
>Jesus ends up becoming the most famous villain in cinema

How heavily were Jews involved in the prequels?

>>82996189
Yeah, exactly. If they had developed this aspect in a subtle way, it would have led to at least a little bit of motivation for Anakin to want to kill the Jedi.

>>82996104
>where does it contradict previous star wars canon?
Going lightspeed while in-atmosphere
Coming out of lightspeed in-atmosphere
THAT is lazy storytelling, future star wars movies don't need to worry about space travel at all anymore.

>>82996278
back to /pol/ with you

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>>82996351
Oh yeah, everyone knows that you can't go in and out of lightspeed in a planet's atmosphere!

>>82993373
>When was this shit put into the canon?

Liam Neeson outright tells Yoda this in Phantom Menace when they're doing his Jedi psychic tests

>>82996351
so retarded and boring prequel lore is cool but pushing the limits of vaguely defined lightspeed engines is sacrilege?

>>82996427
It's called Hyperspace

How can you go into Hyperspace unless you're already in space??

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>>82994773
There was a 3 episode arc of Clone wars were Anakin was confirmed as literal Force-Jesus and made physical manifestations of the Light and Dark sides bow to him with his supreme centrist Force magic.

It was weird

>>82993373
Palpatine was rich as fuck, why didn't he pick a better looking mother for his illegitimate force rape baby?

>some anons cannot watch a movie and comprehend explicit lines of dialogue

Sheev was actually Obi Wan's dad

>>82996995
She's pretty cute for a woman her age

>>82993592
>>82997040
youtube linky please
where in the prequels is it stated that babby is formed by midichlorian nookie

>>82997050
>The Kenobi family included the Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, his mother, and his father. During his apprenticeship to Master Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi experienced visions of a brother of his called Owen. It turned out that those visions were in fact of Owen Lars, a man whom Kenobi would not meet before the Clone Wars.

Oh good christ

Obi-Wan's brother is "Uncle Owen"

what

>>82994362
The millennium break could have happened in between those 30 years. If I was born in 1991, and I'm fucking a girl who was born in 2001, then technically were from different millennia even though we're only 10 years apart.

>>82996532
I never described it as cool.
And changing the physical laws of the universe is pretty sacriligeous.
Why didn't Luke just warp to Leia instantly with no time delay?
Why didn't Lando and Chewie just warp out of the Death Star?
Why didn't the rebels warp the torpedo INTO the death star?
Why didn't the rebels just warp through the Endor shield?
WHY DIDNT THE DEATH STAR JUST WARP IN PLACE TO DESTROY YAVIN??

vs

Yoda lied to me not everyone has the same amount of force

>>82997113
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=az78NPe8-Ck#t=50s

According to the wiki, Midi-Chlorians are sentient. Someone please explain this to me.

>>82997177
>>82997113
along with this, the imdb quote:

Shmi Skywalker: There was no father. I carried him, I gave birth, I raised him. I can't explain what happened.

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>>82993373
>Anakin was literally created by Midichlorians and is basically space Jesus
>STILL less of a Mary Sue than Rey

>>82997209
String theory + clockmaker theory

>>82997209
They hear the will of the force, and whisper its will to people. Jedi are the ones able to quiet their minds and hear what the midichlorians have to say, and this gives them magic powers.

I think it's all pretty self explanitory

>>82997265
She's lying. Sheev fucked her

>>82997268
It helped that Anakin was a retard. He seriously thought Obi Wan was fucking his wife

>>82997425
You know they canonically were, right?

Why does everyone like Obi Wan so much. He's a cool guy but Luke was still hung up about his death in RotJ

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>>82997506
He was a good friend

>>82997483
Sheev please we're not as stupid as Anakin

>>82997506
Luke basically treated Obi Wan as his father figure. Also the man helped him out even though he was dead.

>>82997177
>>82997265
OK, yeah, I had completely forgotten about that.
It's bizarre.

>>82997265
I bet she was glad when the baby turned out human rather than some horrifying half-breed of human and Watto

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>>82997151

Obviously she got knocked up by some dude who disappeared the next day. Didn't want to get called a whore.

>>82997859
People born in 2001 are 16-17 now

In civilised countries their vaginas are legal

>>82997154
1) because presumably they started the warp in space, not from a stationary position, and you're exaggerating, they clearly intended it to be some last minute dangerous plan, or d you really think they'll just make it so that you can basically teleport everywhere now?
2) You're deliberately misinterpreting why I don't like midichlorians, read my previous posts, ill actually just copy paste it again

> yeah, thats basically what I was getting at. midichlorians by themselves are just an unnecessary bit of detail, the whole creating life, heavy handed JediJesus thing is what I don't like.

The prequels suck dick, its a fact, TFA sucks less dick, being an actual attempt to return to the original star wars. Answer these without using the EU:

Why did Sheev allegedly impregnate a random woman using the force, why not keep her close?

How did Sheev know that Anakin would be
both picked up by the Jedi and have the character flaws that lead him to the dark side

How did order 66 blindside hundred(s) of force sensitive jedi?

Why did Windu just walk into Sheevs office without telling anyone at all he was a Sith?

If Sheev almost got killed by Windu, why was he so confident in letting his top generals die?
Why does Jar Jar exist?

Why does George expect us to think Kenobi and Anakin are freinds when all Anakin does is whine about him, with all the freindship being established by a few lines about previous events?

Why did Sheev give his clone armies 10 year lifespans? Surely thats just a waste of money
Why did the relatively tiny amount of clones wear white, seeing as they were fighting a conventional war instead of a counterinsurgency like storm troopers?

>>82993568
>NO, I AM YOUR GREAT GRANDFATHER

>>82998006
>Why did Sheev allegedly impregnate a random woman using the force, why not keep her close?
He didn't choose her, this was explained up thread.

>How did Sheev know that Anakin would be both picked up by the Jedi
He didn't, until he met Anakin at the end of TPM.

>and have the character flaws that lead him to the dark side
Sheev is very convincing. He wore Anakin down over time.

>How did order 66 blindside hundred(s) of force sensitive jedi?
In Clone Wars, Mace and Yoda discuss how the Dark Side is clouding their ability to see the
future. Expanded in Clone Wars, where Sveev personally intervenes to keep the Order 66 programming concealed by gaslighting the clones who find out about it.

>Why did Windu just walk into Sheevs office without telling anyone at all he was a Sith?
Containment, and he thought him plus three backup would be enough to take on a single Sith.

>If Sheev almost got killed by Windu, why was he so confident in letting his top generals die?
All the Jedi were dead and the war was over, he didn't need them anymore.

>Why does Jar Jar exist?
Lucas wanted a fully CGI alien character and the tech was finally there to do it.

>Why does George expect us to think Kenobi and Anakin are freinds when all Anakin does is whine about him, with all the freindship being established by a few lines about previous events?
Them being bros4lyfe isn't the plot of the movie, it's a character element that is established through witty banter.

>Why did Sheev give his clone armies 10 year lifespans? Surely thats just a waste of money
He didn't. Also wasting money was part of his plan, bankrupting the Republic meant systems would support his increasing autocracy to bring a quicker end to the war.

>Why did the relatively tiny amount of clones wear white, seeing as they were fighting a conventional war instead of a counterinsurgency like storm troopers?
Droids have sensors, not eyes. Who cares what color the armor was when your enemy has radar.

>>82997940
>People born in 2001
>Birthday in 2017 is their 16th birthday
>16-17
Off-by-one error.

>>82998259
Go to bed, George

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>>82998761
top of the pyramid response

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>>82998259
>Lucas wanted a fully CGI alien character and the tech was finally there to do it.
Mfw someone finally gets it

>>82993373
>an Immaculate Conception thing

Virgin birth.

The Virgin Mary is the Immaculate Conception. She was born without original sin so that she could be a pure vessel for the son of God.

>>82998259
>He didn't choose her, this was explained up thread.

The Clone Wars EU crap doesn't count, it is however implied that Sheev was the one who impregnated Anakins mother in ROTS

>In Clone Wars, Mace and Yoda discuss how the Dark Side is clouding their ability to see the future

so every single jedi is now without the ability to sense something horribly wrong in the short term. Oh wait, Yoda could, solely because he is in ESB, why create a whole jedi order to die like retards?

>Containment, and he thought him plus three backup would be enough to take on a single Sith.

so even though everyone knew there was a big bad sith behind everything, the new knowledge that its the ruler of the republic makes it top secret? its poorly reasoned plot magic

>All the Jedi were dead and the war was over, he didn't need them anymore.

Dooku and Greivous died before anyone, and they were his best and only competent leaders

>Them being bros4lyfe isn't the plot of the movie, it's a character element that is established through witty banter.

We are supposed to see Anakins fall and duel with Obiwan as tragic, thats why Obiwan couldn't kill him and had to leave him to die. But no one cares because Anakin was a whiny bitch.

>He didn't.

sorry, 20 years, 10 of which was spent training, 3 of which were spent fighting the clone wars. I'll admit you're right about the wasting money thing, but its still retarded that he killed the bankers on the separatist side and bankrupted his own future empire

>Droids have sensors, not eyes. Who cares what color the armor was when your enemy has radar.

yeah but its still retarded, not to mention that clones also fought aliens (seen in the second movie with Geonosians)

Just admit the prequels are trash, we all know that TFA was average but at least it wasn't as retarded as the prequels

>>82998901
>The Clone Wars EU crap doesn't count

It's canon, both under George and Disney. `

>>82998819
i like that chart thank you, i need to stock pile some anime smug faces

>>82998893
OK, I get it now. Sorry, I committed the mistake in the Wikipedia article, paragraph 2:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immaculate_Conception
Thanks for the correction.

>>82993462
It was actually Plagueius who caused the creation Anakin by messing around with the Force. The force responded by causing his birth.

>>82993373
>When was this shit put into the canon?
Literally in the first prequel before the planet when Taken guy asks her who his father was and she tells him there was no father.

>>82993373
According to legends Plageious and Sheev were fucking around with midi-chlorians trying to get the "live forever" thing right when the force (because it is sentient?) felt the disturbance and created Anakin, also the immaculate conception is the belief that Mary was born free of sin

>>82999946
The force is sort of sentient, sort of not. It's aware that someone had imbalanced it, so it created a solution.

>>82995579
Well Anakin was supposed to be the most powerful force user ever. Quigon even said Anakin would be more powerful than Yoda. Thus, if Anakin were to have a father, his father would have had to be more powerful than Yoda as well since Shimi wasn't force sensitive. Making it so Anakin didn't have a dad made it easier to deal with the plot holes caused by some random guy we've never met being more powerful than Yoda and fathering a son.

>>82998901
Yoda did not sense the plot to destroy the Jedi Order. He did sense the clones who tried to kill him and he killed them and escaped. Several other Jedi managed to escape Order 66 including Obi-Wan.

they imply right in the movie that anakin is Force Jesus

they drop it in 2 and 3 cause the idea was so unpopular

>>83000240
thats exactly what I was saying. Somehow, of all of the Jedi to actually be targeted by order 66 in ROTS, Yoda is the only one to sense clones wanting to kill him. Its like George wrote the whole order to be retarded, to be retconned by the animated shows

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>>82999993
I had tried to avoid spoilers prior to TFA's release, but I could swear that there was one (now obviously false) that said the Force had become sentient (hence, the Force AWAKENS) and was reaching out to all Force-sensitive people whose powers would have lain dormant otherwise. Did I imagine that?

I also thought there was another one that inferred Luke was hiding because he'd grown so strong with the Force that he'd inadvertently caused some disaster on a grand scale and was in isolation for everyone's protection.

>>83000439
>I also thought there was another one that inferred Luke was hiding because he'd grown so strong with the Force that he'd inadvertently caused some disaster on a grand scale and was in isolation for everyone's protection.

That's literally how Logan starts, with Professor X in place of Luke

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>>82993373

>>83000324
Have you heard of...plageueis the wise?

>>83000661
for you