>bring my falcon to the concession stand >try to buy some

>ask the ticket teller how comfy the movie is
>guard at the imperial watch tower tags me for penis inspection

What the FUCK?

>>82962942
>try to buy some maltesers for it

You tried to sell your bird for some theater snacks, they literally did nothing wrong

>buy my ticket for one to Guardians of the Galaxy 2
>have a snack and drink
>watch the movie with no issues

this is sad. please stop.

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>>82963059
>Buy my ticket for one to Guardians of the Galaxy 2
>I'm there alone
>The only seat available is way in the back
>Get entire view of the theater and see everyone has a date

>The line for the cinema shower is so long you miss the previews

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>Hambeast cage hanging above the lobby comes loose, knocking my complementary cum jar out of my hands

>that feel when the theater baron parks his tank on top of your car
I had that spot reserved but apparently there's a stipulation in the contract that all reserved spaces can be given to the baron without notice so my hands are tied.

>>82964153
>Try to convince the usher I took one before hand at home.
>He never believes me and makes go to the Cinema shower.

what if you brought a maltese falcon to see the maltese falcon (1941) and fed it maltesers? food for thought.

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>>82962942
>mfw nobody got the car joke

>>82964686
No we got it, its just not that funny.