>watching Boku No Pico at my local kinoplex >it's

>>82937569
I hope you die there, fucking mobile poster

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>>82937678
send help

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pls

>>82937569
This is too much.

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>>82937569
>2/78ths
>not 1/39th

>>82937569
Hey that reminds me of one time that happened to me, I was
>watching Boku No Pico at my local kinoplex
>it's a neat hipster place, theater is built inside a renovated mill with shops outlining the sides, boardwalk flooring
>my husband's other husband has to check his dialysis
>"Ok lets go to the water closet"
>I pull down my pants and display my pubic wig to the projectionist - a signal to pause the film
>They skip to the washroom and I throw out my back pushing the medical equipment
>Mutambo Bonobo, the African immigrant from Sweden asks to see our shower passes
>I check my husband's purse to see if he has extras, as I only have half a token
>he only had 2/78ths of a token
>We bargain with Mutambo and offer up our pocket lint and an interpretive dance in exchange for our passage
>He accepts our bargain, thankfully
>We enter the shower room and start to recharge the car battery plugged into my husband's other husband's dialysis machine
>I have to release the darkness from my undercarriage
>head toward the stall
>phalluseer blocks my path and demands a random penis inspection
>surprise bitch I'm post-op
>He lets me go and I enter the stall
>I answer the toilet goblin's three riddles flawlessly
>I plop out four poops, but they're too big to fit into the bowl
>I go to grab the poop sissors attached to the wiping quilt
>Somebody stole the poop sissors
>I can't cut the poop to fit it into the toilet
>The toilet timer starts ringing and the goblin alerts Mutombo whom'st'ith is the guardian of the porcelain thrones
>They send me to be put on trial before Schumer the Hutt
>She(he) drops me into the Rancor's cavern
>I'm still here, the only way I'm able to tell you my story is I found an IPhone fashioned from rat intensities, a sleeve of foreskin from a bris, and a Hannah Montana CD

>>82937569
I feel like I'm descending into a heavy acid trip, reading this.

I really hope you weirdo's write outside of this craphole of a website otherwise you're wasting a gift

>>82938220
How so?

REDDIT

Damn, this was by far the weirdest one I've read so far. Good job my dude, do you have more?

Sam3fag

>>82937569

>poop scissors

You almost fooled us. I believe there is no such thing as poop scissors.

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>>82939520
>interested in the new Peanuts film
>head to the local theater
>sneak past the barbed wire entrance guarded by heavily armed theater forces
>navigate through the never ending twists, tricks and traps of the labyrinth
>evade the man eating minotaur
>successfully traverse the swamp of misery
>avoid the roving cannibal bandit clans formed by other lost theater patrons
>correctly answer the sorceror's riddle
>avoid being turned to stone by the Basilik's gaze
>incite the barbarian tribes to revolution against the Iron Khan of then 38th dimension
>don't become hopelessly seduced by the sirens bathing in the fountain of merriment
>best the Duke of Fear in single combat
>banish the demon prince Melchantraz by learning his true name
>retrieve the Bow of Kings and slay the 20ft tall Cyclops
>wasn't fooled into eating the cyanide enchanted crab legs at the altar of concessions
>finally make it to the ticket office
>Peanuts has been out of theaters for several months now
>mfw

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>>82940166

Funny you mention that, there was a hentai theater near my local donut shop

>>82940166
A bit more forced than the first, but you have talent my man.

T b h, this could be interpreted as some kind of art, and it's way more entertaining than anything in the mainstream. Or maybe it's just me getting bored of everything.

But think about it, these texts which heavily reference the niche fictional cinema-going subculture of /tv/ memes are going to be forgotten in a few years max and no one will ever know they existed.

>>82942007
I'm actually seriously considering writing a small "bathroom book" which will essentially be a compilation of green texts. You know those little silly books people have in their bathrooms so you have something to do while on the shitter? (Especially before smartphones)

I'm thinking of making it a chapter-by-chapter thing such as "feels" chapter, "internationally-related" chapter, "funny shit", hell maybe do a small chapter that's "going to the theater".

I mean if it doesn't get published I don't give a fuck. It takes me like 30minutes to churn out a good greentext. I could fart out a book in a month easily.

>>82942262
Do it man. I support you. Plus, even if it's not going anywhere, at least you'll be proud that you did something. That's better than 99% of people.