>go to the kinoplex >kinoplex powerlifter can't lift

I thought this meme was dumb as fuck at first, but it's starting to grow on me.

I seriously don't know how to get past the no singles guards anymore. I used to just hire craigslist escorts and pay them once we got in, but now they have those virgin sniffing dogs that bust me everytime.

>>82880008
that's why you pay a prostitute as an escort because she has had sex so many times her aura will overpower your virginity aura, and the dogs wont notice you.

>>82879917
better than baneposting tee bee ayy chuh

it breeds creativity

>>82880216
4 (You)

>>82880239
t. denial

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>pay for a premium cinema oxygen tank mask
>pay the extra 75 cents for the butter-scented oxygen add-on
>put on the gas mask
>turns out it's charcoal scent

>>82880008
Don't worry, in a few more years you can use your wizard powers to trick the dogs.

Did you at least get some crab legs?

>Arrive at kinocenter
>Wait 16 months for calligraphers to finish crafting my tickets
>Give them their 50 bucks plus tip and start making my way to concessions
>My russian mail order escort gets me through security
>Finally get some snacks, escort can only afford a single sno-cap while I blow the rest of my cash on a few nachos
>Get one strike from the kinstopo for skimping on the tip
>Walk over to theater
>Usher takes tickets, escort goes through fine but I get a second strike because usher tears my ticket incorrectly
>Guards take him to the gas chamber and at last I'm in the theater
>Previews are just ending when someone taps me on the shoulder
>"Uh, sir, we don't allow outside food in here. What is that in your coat?"
>"Um... no need to worry, that's just-"
>I had tried to disguise the crab I smuggled in with some paper feathers from the Angry Birds promotion and goggles
>It grabs my glock and starts shooting up the theater
>Crowd immediately clears out of the room. russian escort swallows her cyanide pill knowing what will happen with a third strike
>Guards can't breach with an armed shellfish at large
>Get to watch Guardians of the Galaxy 2 with the theater all to myself and my crab
>It was okay

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>Wife's son gets in for free day at the cinema
>In the mood for a flick
>Havent had kino sex with my wife since I signed alimony papers for the probable divorce in the future, just in case. (Giving her 100% of course)
>Thinking I'd kill two birds with one stone, I take her son to see La La Land
>Tickets are $65 for me and $55 for him
>Ask the Lobby robot why the ticket prices are so low
>It tells me about the great falcon escapade in '09 that nearly killed the designated shooter before the movie EVEN started, causing ticket prices to drop to bring in more revenue
>notimeforthis.jpg
>Finally get to the showers
>The little bastard Im with had actually brought his falcon into the shower with us
>Politely ask him to leave the falcon out in the lobby or at least the theater petting zoo
>Tells me to fuck off and buy him skittles
>I oblige
>In the lobby I see my wife waiting in line with a blackman to see La La Land as well
>I offer him my ticket out of courtesy
The movie ended 2 hours ago and she has not come home yet. Does anyone else's Kinotoriums run their flicks later than expected as well?

>>82881349
>he tried to smuggle his crab through the lobby
You should really invest your time in catching the sewer crabs and extracting them through the toilets in the Shower Room. They looks just the same as the ones for sale also.

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>only spots left in the parking lot are all the way at the back
>have to wait 30 minutes for the shuttle bus to pick you up
Does this piss anyone else off? I'm thinking about getting one of those motorized scooters to ride the rest of way once i get to the parking lot. Does anyone have any recommendations on a good brand?

>>82883110
>His kinofactory doesn't rent out segways

What's it like living in a third world country?

member when this meme was high IQ and subtle like tricking noobs into thinking that some places have a no singles policy

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>>82883226
> /tv/
>high IQ