>and what the hell are YOU doing here? >looks to me like

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>I had it under control
>Oh, so letting him put you in a headlock was "under control"?

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>>82850545
>I've got this!
>Didn't you ever learn to share?

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>person says something mildly complicated
>"Woah woah woah, in English, please."

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>he's squeaky clean - not even a parking ticket

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>dainty looking woman
>does a bunch of flip and takes out 2000 thugs
>guys are impressed and look at each other

retarded frogposters

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>>82850545
>Heroes are about to get defeated by the villain
>Awkward side character grows a pair of balls and saves the day

>>82851249
>I have brothers

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>"Don't do it!"
>Other character SLOWLY starts doing whatever he wasn't suppose to do

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>monster eats hero
>there's no scene of him getting boiled alive in stomach acid before he moves through its digestive tract, each pulsation of the bowels sending agonizing pain along his burnt skin until he's crushed into a pulp and shat out in a brown, stinking mess, and, like a chunk of corn, enough of his skin is left over in the excrement to show his final thoughts were that of erotic bliss, torn remains of his reddened face twisted into a wicked smile

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>"Wait, I'm not ready"
>Character reaches somewhere obscure and pulls out sunglasses
>"Ok, lets go"

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>Character does something
>gets hit for doing it
>"guess i deserved that..."

>>82851552
jesus christ, kid...

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>Main character does something heroic and blacks out
>Wakes up in hospital with all friends and family hovering over him
>"Did....did I do it?"
>"No you didn't but thankfully X happened and it saved the day"

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>Main Character
>"I'm the new recruit sir"
>Gets laughed at and told to go away

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>"Please tell me there's a plan B!"
>"In English please."

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>freeze frame
>Record Scratch
>Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how i got into this situation

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>characters in trouble because under attack by a bad guy
>moment before bad guy dishes out the final blow as characters desperately throw their hands up in an attempt to protect themselves
>gunshot
>bad guy falls dead
>everyone else looks up in shock
>character that was shown to be weak and cowardly the whole movie holding the gun
>"lets go"

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>"and what the hell are YOU doing here?"
>"Not here....when."

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>characters in trouble because under attack by a bad guy
>moment before bad guy dishes out the final blow as characters desperately throw their hands up in an attempt to protect themselves
>gunshot
>bad guy falls dead
>everyone else looks up in shock
>Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how i got into this situation

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>I hate you, I don't know why we were both assigned this mission
>characters end up falling in love at the end

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>Character does something
>gets hit for doing it
>guys are impressed and look at each other

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>I hate you, I don't know why we were both assigned this mission
>"Woah woah woah, in English, please."

>you both need a serious lesson in teamwork. That's why I'm assigning you both on this mission.
>(both characters) BUT SIR...

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>>82851152
>character posts a fox in a peep thread

>character talking some serious shit about his superior
>"he's standing right behind me, isn't he?"

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>Main character knows crucial info about some threat
>Is brought in as a specialist
>Joins a group of trained and skilled marines
>"Fuck off rookie, leave it to the professionals!"
>(Almost) all of them die within minutes

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>dumbass dickhead retard character that everyone hates gets told off
>walks off by himself grumbling to himself
>drool falls onto his shoulder
>"huh?"
>gets pulled into ceiling by something off screen

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>I hate you, I don't know why we were both assigned this mission
>You can hear the cum dropping to the floor in the next scene where they are both butt naked fucking in each other in the ass with various sex toys and eating each others ass
>Can hear the licking of each others butt hole
>They start saying the food they ate the day before since each others shit is in their own mouths
>"Wow, were you eating at Taco Bell earlier today"
>"In English please"
>scene never gets mentioned again and they go back to hating each other

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>>82851552
>monster eats hero
>the monster pauses for a moment, before its stomach bulges out and then explodes as the hero carves/blows his way out of the stomach
>sidekicks all look away in disgust

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>>82850545
receives a beating
>teeth are perfectly fine

>If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead already
>Every darn time

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>whole theme of the movie is that socialism is bad

>>82850545
Name eight kinos released in the past two months where this happens.

>i mean REAL money

>"and your other gun..."
>"in English please"
>"you're a good cop, but one more move like that and you're off the force. For the time being, take a break McCopman"
>record scratch
>that's me, I bet you're wondering how I got into this mess
>character cuts the right wire on a time bomb with 0.001 seconds left
>small woman in tight latex kicks the shit out of three guards with assault rifles behind him

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>>82852304
>villain of the movie is an evil capitalist white guy

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>character pulls a dusty cover off of a truck
>bad to the bone starts playing
>"The bigger, the better"

>>82852399
>introduction to his character is him firing a guy, as he begs about how he has a family, while he laughs so hard he wheezes and order his guards to kick him out on the street

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>two wacky henchmen
>don't even progress the story just get themselves into slap stick comedy situations

>>82851152
>look at me i'm a furfag! please acknowledge this!

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>>82851887
>go to the kinoplex to watch gardeners 2
>this is unironically used in the thor trailer

>>82852532
Hi two british guards from pirates of the carribean

> :^\

>chair actor says quick foreign word
>it's literally a complex thought that takes 30 seconds of subtitles to explain
>character waits annoyed

>>82852532
Power rangers

>two wacky henchmen
>i mean REAL money

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>son of a *gets cut off by an explosion*

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>"You're tearing me apart!"
>character is not literally getting torn apart

>>82851552
>>>/d/

>Final fight
>Bad dude gets the upper hand on the hero
>instead of killing him then and there just throws him across the room

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>spic thugs
>ESE

>>82851504
Jaysus chroist.

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>>82851552
>Oh heavens above! What time do you call this my pretty?
>What's that you say? A protest?
>Why of course my dear. One must fight for what is right.
>To think that this protest involved a throng of radiant young ladies, all with bounteous bosoms bared?
>And my dear, I do indeed chuckle heartily, for it is clear to me that your own bazoomas place first in the gallery of magnificent milkpuffles
>For, m'lady, were a young man to lay eyes upon you and not immediately remark on the potency of your heavenly orbs, one might safely assume that this man is indeed, a boob!
>Yes m'lady, a pun. Occasionally I simply must indulge. Chortle!
>Come closer to your valiant protector. Oh my goodness gracious, you truly are in fine fettle.
>I simply must encounter these blessed globes once more.
>Oooh the feeling through me, like electricity as I glance upon these pink tips, awaiting touch of a chivalrous hand.
>I must return to these givers of life, m'lady. Every man must know his roots, if he is to be any kind of man at all.
>*Gently nibbles on nipples*
>M'lady, why do you shudder at my touch?
>Why, each lick of these rosy jumperbuttocks is like a tender caress with Athene herself.
>*Slurps spittle over breasts*
>The taste, my God, the taste. M'lady, I fear you may find me a terrible beast, but I simply must beg. Wouldst thou proffer a drop of nectar?
>*Sucks drop of milk from breast*
>As sweet as a Summer Dahlia housing a bumblebee. I truly am alive.
>*Snorsh sluuuurp nyom sllllrp*
>M'lady. m'lady, I live for this.
>*Begins to ejaculate in pants*
>Oh, my own fleshrod. It's pulsating prowess silences all! The force of this is enough to make a kind sir void his bowels! M'lady, m'lady. Prepare! Prepare I say. For the harvest has failed and God yet might make his response be known! Ooh GRRP UUMP
>*BRAAAAAAAP PFNAAAAAR BOWLLLLLT POOOOOOOOOFFFAAAAAARRP CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPOWPOWPOW SQUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOORP BRRRRP PFNARSCH PFNARP BRRAAAAP BOOOOOOOOORPP*

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>This is a statement
>Statement?

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> movie has 5 or more female protagonists
> nobody talks about how there is 60%+ chance that one of them is menstruating