You're at Dairy Queen and this guy gives your mom a brain

>>82804931
Sir this is a drive thru

>>82804931
There is no Dairy Queen anymore. I have now turned it into a brothel with clones of Emma Roberts walking around. Reality warping is worth way more than my bitch ass mom.

Thank him

>>82804931
Maybe you don't mushify every planet plox?

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>>82804931
Heal her with my magic rock.

>>82806412
Whatever you say, Joss

>>82807010
Explain yourself. Depending on your answer, I might have to kill you.

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>>82804931

Do you think he fucked it into her? Like when he came the genetic code induced cancerous mutations in her brain?

I mean he had to physically put something of himself into the planet to spread. I don't see why the same shouldn't apply here.

>>82804931
Make a quip

>>82807239
I think so. He's like ET Chad

>>82807239
>Implying he didn't have the power to incept tumors in people's brains from the other side of the universe
nuthin personnel kid

>>82804931
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4aujTbe7_A
suck his dick

>>82804931
Call the avengers, they should be able to do something about him.

>>82807220
say that to my face not online and see what happens.

>>82804931
Thanks for spoiling the movie you fucking cuck

>>82810339
>fucking
>cuck

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to pick ONE.

I certainly won't let him have any of my blizzard.

Why did he give her a tumor? There was no reason

If he loved her and couldn't go back again until she died, why didn't he just wait like 40 years? He's millions of years old, such a wait would be meaningless

>>82811370
he had children being born all the time, yondu was there to pick the next one up when the previous one failed.

why did he give her a tumor?

i missed that part.

>>82811370
>couldn't go back again until she died
oh okay. that makes no sense but okay

>>82812169
because he loved her so much that he was afraid she would distract him from his goals.

regardless, she would die anyway and he'd continue to live, so he gave her a tumor that would kill her eventually while he was away.

>>82804931
I
Am
Groot

>>82804931
I thank him because I fucking hate my mother.

>>82804931
If momma Quill wanted to convince Peter her baby daddy was a space man, why not show him the space blossom behind DQ?

>>82811370
>>82812202
Because he actually fell in love with her. This is probably the reason why Quill ended up being the only half celestial out of, however many kids ego actually had. If he didn't kill her, he would have lived a whole life with her, and abandoned his ultimate purpose. So he kicked her like a bad habit, with brain cancer.

>>82814463
Better yet, how did that plant survive decades going unnoticed, uneaten, and not simply stepped on by any animal?
It wasn't exactly hidden in the deep fucking woods or some jungle

>>82804931
i would go 6 years into the past and tell him that my moms 8 month battle with cancer, and eventual passing destroyed our family, and to please undo it

>>82804931
Dance-off bro, you and me.

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>>82804931
I grab my S̶c̶o̶o̶t̶y̶ ̶p̶u̶f̶f̶ ̶j̶r̶ Baby Groot, arm a super bomb, fly into the center of the i̶n̶f̶o̶s̶p̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ planet and blow up the giant brain at the center because my "special" genetic make up gives me the unique ability to fight him.

>>82815236
>futurama was made before ego, the living planet

>>82804931

character was shit, if you went to the bathroom when he explains that he's a supergod, you could go the whole movie and assume he's just some average fucking dweeb just a few notches above starlord and the gang

his whole plan is based around how he thinks other life is inadequate compared to him, right? that he is the greatest and must spread himself across all worlds and what, replace all life with only himself? It's a boring plan because he's so basic, he's not interesting enough to carry a whole galaxy or universe or whatever. He's not some immensely smart being because he gets outsmarted with basic plans, and he's not immensely powerful because he gets his shit pushed in by a handful of mortals and a baby demi-god. Oh no, Ego's on the loose guys, just call in fucking Dr. Strange, Hulk and Thor and we should have this thing handled before dinner. Big whoop.

I'M MARY POPPINS YA'LL

>>82815408
Yep.
For someone who has waited millions of years you think he could have waited decades for Star Lord to turn around instead of immediately turning on him.

Also despite the human body being only a minuscule part of himself it is the only part capable of doing anything. His very core can't push away a bomb even though he can create matter from nothing and freely move the entire planet. Fuck, he can't even notice where it is despite doing so on other parts of himself.

BRANDY
YOU'RE A FINE GIRL

>>82815408
That's literally how every villain that's considered powerful is going to be defeated though.

They'll temporarily stop him using a new weapon, then attack his weak points while he's distracted by one of their team mates.

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>>82804931
They actually did it. They actually fucking made a movie about Reddit. No dog whistles, no allusions, just pure straight Reddit pleb shit. Every fucking line is a meme. EVERY SINGLE ONE. There isn't one joke or quote in this movie that wouldn't get you at least 50 upvotes. If you were a Bernie Sanders supporter, this flick is for you. If you own a fedora this flick is for you. If you like taking turns with your girlfriend getting rammed in the ass by imported black cock this flick is for you. If you're a normal fucking person who votes Republican and enjoys films about ideas, characters, and interesting settings this piece of shit flick is not for you and given the fact that there are no movies like that anymore because critics and audiences can't get enough meme superhero space shit you're better off just finding another hobby or killing yourself.
Fuck Reddit, fuck memes, and fuck whoever likes this piece of shit movie

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I was honestly surprised and disappointed it switched to murdering Ego so fast.

He's a bad guy but his entire plan hinged around Star Lord. All he had to do was leave and his plan couldn't be completed.

They could have had a super powerful entity always on the hunt for the outlaw Star Lord but instead they kill him with a retarded plan using an escape pod ship and batteries taped to a timer.

>>82815844
I don't even read the comics, but Marvel is burning through villains extremely quickly. They only use Thanos to have an arc that lasts more than two hours.

>>82815748
Is this a copypasta? Because is so, I'm keeping it.

>>82815844
Yeah it felt like they had an idea for a villain to start with but then thought "OH NO WE GOTTA MAKE THIS ENDING FIGHT HUGGGEEEEE" and went with Ego instead

>>82816160
They even had a lot of set up to make Ego sympathetic. He's gone crazy from being alone and feels so bad about all the shit he's done that he needs a bug lady to force him to sleep because otherwise he can't.
Instead he turned from evil in 1.5 seconds and gave mom cancer.

>>82815989
they don't even get to use their most powerful and interesting villains because of licensing. They'll probably end up rebooting just to readjust the timeline when RDJ retires and they gain the F4 rights.

The analogy with the song was great

>>82804931
I'm gonna make some WEIRD SHIT

>>82814766
It was, however, located near a Dairy Queen. No wonder nobody came across it.

Why would Ego make his earth form 5ft 9.25in tall?

>>82816563
Right, land surveyors and what not would have trampled all over the place before that building went up
Also kids playing in the woods after hanging out at DQ

>>82815748
>can't get enough meme superhero space shit
>first space opera in 15 years which didn't bomb or wasn't Star Wars fanfic
Time to take your republican meds for your republican paranoid schizo, sweetie.
Also watching movies isn't a hobby, a sophisticated adult like you should know.