Now that the dust has settled, can we agree that this movie was

>>82709996
The first one wasn't bad. The rest sucked anus.

File: 1494027290324.jpg (234KB, 500x700px) Image search: [Google]

234KB, 500x700px

Wonderful series, severely underrated

>>82709996
a movie full of Chads is the opposite of comfy.

>>82709996
I liked the one when she almost fucked johnny supertramp

>>82711463
Edward is an autistic permavirgin who can barely talk to the girl he likes. He's tall and goodlooking. He's just like me.

Why was the camera work so good in the first but so terrible in the rest?

We long agreed on that

>>82711672
I hear this opinion over and over

>>82709996
The first 3 movies were good, Breaking Dawn was total shit.

The movie "Foodfight!" still has a better love story than the move "Twilight". X-D

It's a comfy movie, although I always wonder how much of that is that it's entertaining vs how much is a blend of escapism; romance between a man and woman that falls into place easier than it ever could in real life and is instantly permanent; and just pure nostalgia for what life was like when it came out.

At the very least, it's fairly wholesome. Family, monogamy, loyalty, etc. If you like those things.

>>82712496
It's fucking wonderful because it believes in true love and eternal love. These things don't even exist anymore in the public consciousness

>>82711672
Because whatserface was directing.

And, heaven help me for knowing this, there's a director's notebook she kept. It's published. It goes through all of her decisions about shots and whatnot. Very interesting from a technical perspective.

>>82709996
only the first one

>>82709996
>a 14 year old girls wishfulfillment fantasy

because every ancient being just loooooves to hear a stupid girl go on and on about all her thoughts and feelies

topkek. kys fag.

>>82714433
But there's an entirely different angle which has become very popular of late

>a permavirgin male with awful social difficulties who just wants to find ONE (1) girl who loves him and keep her forever wishfulfillment fantasy

Throw PRIME KSTEW into the mix and it's a pretty great film for young men who want to imagine going back to high school and finding a perfect waifu to fall in love with them forever

File: greensking Pepe.png (2MB, 1393x807px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1393x807px

>>82709996
/comfy/ because it was totally /whitecore/

>>82714528
So because its boy wish fulfillment its not utter shite made solely for financials? Eat cock millennisl scum. Your generation ruined movies

>>82715053
How old are you if you aren't a millennial?

>>82715125
He's a self-hating millennial

>>82714946
>white heterosexual christians as far as the eye can see
It's so beautiful bros

File: Nam Pepe.jpg (51KB, 515x496px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 515x496px

>>82715327
>tfw (((they))) are trying to take this from us

File: You Need Jesus.jpg (95KB, 245x184px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 245x184px

>>82715327
>white christians

>the family of murderous monsters that lives next door to the family of murderous native monsters, one of whom rapes a white baby

The foggy nature shots are really good in the first one.

>>82715605
The Cullens are good godfearing people and assets to their community. The injuns are okay too I guess

File: 1491805106377.jpg (320KB, 800x515px) Image search: [Google]

320KB, 800x515px

>>82715481
Not while I breathe

When I had a girlfriend he made me go see Twilight with her in the theater.
So as a mutual agreement, we has to see Punisher Warzone first and then we'd catch Twilight after.
Twilight was better.
Punisher (2004) > Punisher Warzone

>>82715721
Good godfearing people who send their 'kids' to school (actually a bunch of grown men and women in young-looking bodies, who will derive no further education from schooling) alongside a bunch of unsuspecting normies, when this could happen in an instant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkMilWJJR_U

>>82709996
Stop it, you faggot.

>>82709996
Volturi did nothing wrong, Cullens were sick human fuckers who needed to be offed.

>>82709996
i liked the book

i should reread it but i have no time between wagecuck and sleep

>>82716019
Only Jasper behaves like that, and he always has Alice with him looking after him.

>>82716081
Consider reading a version she wrote from Edward's perspective, there's some hilarious moments
http://stepheniemeyer.com/wp-content/uploads/archive/pdf/midnightsun_partial_draft4.pdf

>>82716135
Literally anyone is a better character than self insert Bella.

>>82716135
>264 pages
wtf, why hasn't she sold this?

>>82716098
Alice who didn't do shit to stop him, because it took three guys to stop Jasper from murdering Bella in half a second. And they all fled the room when the cut was larger, because they knew they were on the verge of shredding her when more than one drop of blood was in the air.

It's like Siegfried and Roy saying that the tiger has been trained to usually not bite them, so it's fine to put babies in it's mouth.

>>82716256
She got pissed off because the 50 Shades author (who just basically stole twilight and made it dirty) did this with the male character from that story in the book Grey. So Stephenie said fuck it

>>82716397
Alice has premonition so she can normally warn Jasper if something difficult will happen. Bella can be a blank-spot in their vampire abilities so it's a unique situation. The other Cullens were at risk of attacking her, they controlled themselves well enough to leave. It was literally the worst possible thing that could happen, so not really a guideline for how they should behave everyday

>>82716514
weren't at risk*
derp

>>82716514
>>82716565
Alice can see the future if she focuses on something, which gives her a glance at the outcomes of certain decisions. She can stretch it to a few objects or people, not 30 kids in a class or 200 in a lunchroom (and that's only if they are making choices that lead to bleeding, not just a kid walking in with a bloody nose or some girls on their period).

The rest of the Cullens were a danger, that's why they left. They couldn't stay without attacking her. So are they all just going to run out of school every time one of the students sheds blood? Not very sneaky, sis.

The everyday reality is that they are going to be confronted with blood, gallons of it. In the best possible conditions, when only one of them freaked out, they were free to use their vampire powers to stop him, and multiple vamps where there to interpose themselves, they managed to avoid killing Bella. It's retarded to tell them to bat 1000 when they are blatantly incapable of doing so, and fucking up means a massacre and exposure.

>>82716402
Okay? It seems there must be at least tens of thousands of people, if hundreds of thousands who would have paid to have read this, so giving it for free seems like a waste.

>>82717079
She's already made more money than she knows what to do with for a dozen lifetimes. She made something that people want, and gave it to them without demands.

>>82717079>>82717212
yeah. She's a nice lady

File: tenor.gif (582KB, 220x124px) Image search: [Google]

582KB, 220x124px

Great Baseball scene.

>>82716988
I would emphasise that only Jasper is a significant risk. Edward excused himself from biology when there was going to be blood. They are prudent about being as safe as possible while living around humans. Of course they could just not mingle with humans, but that's the premise of the story. Overall I can't see how the premise could be handled any better without destroying the sources of conflict, which is that they ARE dangerous, just not too dangerous to be around people when they are careful, is my point I guess

>>82717322
How the hell didnt the bat or baseball completely vaporize from all of that kinetic energy?

Also the super strength of these vams is so absurd that any reality where they arent the ubermensh controlling human cattle is completely retarded.

>be vampire
>infiltrate government
>cause a war
>injured soldiers are brought to a room where their blood is drained out of them
>cover this up
>profit

I wonder why a jewish vampire didnt think of selling blood to vampires.

>>82717463
Well it depends who the person was before they were turned. If one of them bit Hitler, yeah maybe

File: edythe cullen.png (543KB, 500x628px) Image search: [Google]

543KB, 500x628px

>>82716135
I like the genderbent version she wrote. Better tha n the original.

File: shekelsniffer.jpg (136KB, 885x990px) Image search: [Google]

136KB, 885x990px

>>82717515
because Jews are money vampires

File: qy 314.gif (874KB, 320x227px) Image search: [Google]

874KB, 320x227px

>>82717463
A maple bat would have shattered like Waterford crystal.
An Ash bat is far more durable.

>>YWN have a vampire qt3.14 gf who can throw a split fingered fastball at 240 mph.

Feels bad, man.

>>82717521
>vamps literally allowed both world wars to happen
>Look honey the monkeys are killing eachother again I wonder if they bleed some nice dinner.

>>82717650
Is this gif from a rip or something? Hasn't this movie been out for nearly ten years?

>>82717650
The sexiest part is how Alice would even see you, Vampire Bella basically saw her own daddy like you would see a cockroach on the floor so to Alice you would be just a thing for her to play then dispose of if she feels like it, its the ultimate femdom sensation anon.

>>82716135
this version was just so much better than with bella perspective, I'd buy it

File: x9x.gif (577KB, 500x200px) Image search: [Google]

577KB, 500x200px

>>82717745
good point.

>>82717745
Alice and Jasper are the cutest couple ever
She loves him so much
He loves her so much
Ed and Bella are about 94% as good so they shouldn't feel bad

File: 023111.gif (986KB, 500x206px) Image search: [Google]

986KB, 500x206px

>>82718138

File: al6pt5.gif (3MB, 480x270px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 480x270px

>>82718138
Bella should have been lesbian.

>>82718329
Ashley Greene should have this hair always

>>82718138
Alice is best Twilight girl, Alice can literally see you cumming when you walked into the bedroom with her. Her immortality means she has an endless amount of stamina meaning she can fuck you forever and her vagina will never ever lose tightness.

Is there any place in the US that is always that weather? Grey, dreary, rainyish, depressing?

That legit looks like the comfiest fucking place to live

>>82718662
>Alice always sees what you do before you do it
>she is still never disappointed with you
Holy shit that's the sweetest thing ever

>>82718702
Washington state.

>>82718702
>Is there any place in the US that is always that weather? Grey, dreary, rainyish, depressing?

>tfw used to live in /comfy/ grey place

>>82718783
I've been watching Twin Peaks, really want a place llike that to live now.

File: ashley-greene-hot-twilight.jpg (73KB, 656x382px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 656x382px

>>82718610
Or this hair.

File: 1alicecutenewmoon.jpg (62KB, 682x360px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 682x360px

>>82718855
I just really like how this shape compliments her face. Some short hair looks so amazing on girls

>>82718783
Locations were in Oregon iirc

File: c7d0045d6c301a1288300bccda9bcf91.gif (1MB, 320x180px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 320x180px

>>82718951
I see that now.

>>82718974
I genuinely want to emigrate to America eventually just so that I can live up in one of those North-West states

>>82719130
unless I can find somewhere similar in Scotland or Northern Ireland but I don't have a clue

File: 1484153984954.gif (3MB, 540x300px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 540x300px

>>82716135
>that moment where the apparently perfect man, who the author would abandon her family for in a heartbeat, seriously considers genocide

>>82719311
He's colourful

>>82719311
>>82719470
Context?

>>82719516
The Indians piss him off, so he considers how difficult it would be to kill them all.
He drops the idea because it would disappoint Carlisle.

>>82719723
I really hope Jacob eventually dies

>>82719723
>ameridian genocide
Can we admit that Edward is /ourguy/?

>>82719723
Kek

>>82719723
kek, based Eddie

>>82709996
waifus aside this has to be one of the whitest movies and that's what I love about it

>>82709996

Friendly reminder that hating these movies is a reddit meme on the level of "Nickelback is the worst band ever". If you actually use any of these you should kys yourself.

>>82720499
Nickelback does suck though

>>82720499
These movies suck because teenage girls ruin everything.

What the fuck is Twilight series even about?
I saw the first one and it ends with Bella wanting to be a vampire and Edward chooses not to give her it.
Does she become one later or what?
Do they ever get together?

>>82720627
Its about Stephanie Meyer being a hack who cant write good vampire fingerbanging fiction.

>>82720627
It's a metaphor about marriage and virginity, with SM undertones.

>>82720627
Okay I got you

Movie 2: Ed and Bella are dating but Ed won't change his mind about changing her. Bella accidentally gets cut at her birthday part at the Cullen house. Jasper (Ed's bother) freaks out and nearly attacks her. Ed is shocked and realises he's putting Bella in danger just being near her. He leaves town with his whole family, telling her he doesn't want her, but warning her not to do anything dangerous. Bella is depressed for months. She discovers that when she risks her life, she can remember Edward more clearly/kind of see a vision of him warning her. She develops a friendship with that Indian boy Jacob (Taylor Lautner) and fixes a bike with her, so she can ride a motorcycle for the danger. She gets closer with Jacob but suddenly Jacob stops hanging out with her, and he's joined a gang of Indians who patrol the area, and it's revealed they are secretly shapeshifters (werewolves). All during this time, the redhead vampire from the first film has come back to town to try to get revenge on her, but she is chased away by the werewolf Indians. One day Bella tries risking her life doing cliff-diving and almost drowns. Alice sees a vision of this happening and rushes back to town to see if she's okay. While Alice is there with Bella, Ed rings the house, but Jacob answers and implies that Bella has died. Ed hangs up and Alice has a vision that he's going to kill himself by violating the vampire secrecy in Italy where the powerful old vampires called the Volturi live. They race to Italy. Bella stops Ed in time, and he reveals he never stopped loving her but he wanted to stay away for her own good. Then the Volturi capture them and they are interrogated, and Ed has to promise that Bella will be turned into a Vampire or killed, because humans can't know about vampires. And that's pretty much the whole of New Moon.

>>82721072

Movie 3: Ed and his family are back in town and he's back with Bella. Jacob is pissed off and has a rivalry because he wants Bella. The redhead vampire (Victoria) is still trying to kill Bella in revenge. The werewolves and Ed's family work together to protect the town from her. Bella considers the choice she is making by potentially giving up being a human. Ed still refuses to change her. She wants to fuck him before she becomes a vampire, because she's worried it won't be as good if she already died (seriously). Ed says he'll only do that if she marries him. She agrees to marry him eventually. Meanwhile in nearby Seattle, dozens of people are dying mysteriously. Eventually the family figures out that Victoria is creating an army of vampires to attack the town. The werewolves and vampires train together to battle them. On the day of the attack, Edward and Bella hide up in the mountain. Jacob overhears that Bella has agreed to marry Ed and gets pissed off. The battle happens but we don't see it up on the mountain. Victoria manages to track down Ed and Bella alone, but Bella distracts Victoria by wounding herself, which allows Ed to kill Victoria. Then after the battle, the Volturi turns up, to investigate the killings in Seattle, but clearly wishing that the army had killed all Ed's family. Bella tells her dad she's going to marry Ed. End of Movie 3

>>82721469

Movie 4: Ed and Bella get married and go on honeymoon to an private island in South America. He tries to fuck her as gently as possible, but his vampire strength leaves her very beaten up. He is then reluctant to touch her and she's really annoyed so she works hard to get him to fuck her. Anyway eventually he figures out a way to be less damaging with his vampire cock and then they just fuck a tonne. Then she has morning sickness and she's pregnant. They race back to town. Very quickly it appears a half-vampire half-human baby is growing inside her. She becomes increasingly unwell, as it draws her strength. She starts to look like almost a corpse, she's being killed by the baby inside her. Ed wants to get rid of it, but Bella refuses, loving her child. Eventually Bella is so weak that her back snaps in two and she's dying, so Ed finally bites her to begin the process of her coming a vampire, and also bites the baby out of her to deliver it, which is fucking sick. After a couple days, Bella wakes up as a new vampire. End movie 4.

>>82721707

Movie 5: Bella's baby "Renesmee" grows up really really quickly, basically a toddler within a few days, is super intelligent, and communicates without speaking, by touching people to show them her thoughts. Ed and Bella are happy at last. Then Jacob sees the baby and his werewolf senses do this really freaky shit where he involuntarily dedicates himself to Renesmee, called "imprinting". Everyone thinks it's fucking gross until he explains it just means he'll be there for her whatever she needs from him. Ed isn't happy about it. Then a vampire sees Renesmee and thinks she's a vampire of a little girl (this is banned because kids are shit at keeping secrets) but Renesmee isn't because she's still growing, she's a half vampire. That vampire who saw her goes and tells the Volturi. The Volturi are going to come to town to kill all Ed's family because they broke the rules if it's a vampire child (it isn't). Ed's family gets lots of allies to come join them, so stand up against the tyrannical Italian Volturi assholes. Alice imagines the battle that could happen, and shows it to the Volturi boss (insert fantasy battle sequence here), and he decides he doesn't want to fight. Also they prove that Renesmee isn't a vampire kid and she'll grow up. Anyway the Volturi go away. And it's the end. Wew

>>82721072
>Okay I got you
>>82721469
>>82721707
>>82721966
Lel, I think Armond White might have gave a couple of these movies good reviews so I'll checkem, will definitely watch the first since people here say it's super /comfy/ and has good cinemetography

>>82716057
The Volturi are the most reasonable villains I can think of
>You have broken our law and almost exposed us
>Please make the human one of us and it will all be fine
>It seems you once again broke the law
>Upon investigation this is not the case
>Also with evidence we have concluded that there is no danger and no harm will come to you

>>82722265
>continually conspires to have Edward's family killed so that he'll agree to be a pawn in the Volturi Mafia
That's probably the main problem if I had to guess

>>82722265
>beaurocrats are the bad guys again

When will we get the bureaucrat kino where the paper work avoiding free thinking individuals are finally held accountable for their crimes. It's the kino autists deserve.

>>82722415
I only watched the movies so I dont know anything about that, but I also want Edwards family dead so I wouldnt really care
I would read the shit out of a story where the vampires kill Bella and Mustache Dad begins a career of hunting down the Cullen clan

>>82722631
Stranger than fiction has Will Ferrell as an autistic IRS employee that bangs a hipster chick and solves all of his problems through autistically paying attention to detail
Also hot fuzz somewhat glorifies paper work

>>82722631
The Volturi are in charge literally only because they will kill anyone who opposes them, their "laws" are just threats of death against any other vampires in the world

>>82722749
This doesnt sound terribly different from a lot of governments
And the fact there are just some clan in Italy that 99% of the time will do absolutely nothing unless you blatantly catch their attention is not that bad

File: French Anarchist Press.jpg (249KB, 1280x962px) Image search: [Google]

249KB, 1280x962px

>>82722829
>a self-proclaimed government that provides absolutely nothing for it's citizens save punishment is not that bad

I want the fascists to go

>>82722829
They want to kill the Cullens because they are threatened by the existence of a large vampire clan. The Cullens is the second largest group of vampires in the world, after the Volturi. Volturi are just power hungry assholes who bully people

>>82723000
Except the people are fucking vampires with x-men powers, they can provide for themselves

>>82723094
Then they don't need a government, do they? If all the clans are self-sufficient, they don't need some overlords to smash them if they break 'the rules'. The Volturi prop themselves up as the strongmen who massacre other clans if they get too large, based on what they judge as 'risk of exposure', instead of trying to reduce expose through means other than killing absolutely every vamp and human in the area. They're shit-tier regressives who exist only because their previous existence allowed them to stomp out competition.

>>82723000
No I like the government that keeps the vampire's completely hidden and specifically banned a form of vampire because they slaughtered humans in mass without control
From a human perspective the laws are pretty beneficial, I dont have much sympathy for the minor lack of freedoms the eternal supernaturally beautiful blood sucking demons have

>>82723247
Except Vampires are shown to have at the beginning little to no self control and are extremely dangerous to humanity
The government actually serves human interest

The Volturi secrecy law is just impossible to maintain in modern times. Vampire attacks by their very nature will draw attention, it's an unexplained death in a consistent manner. Add to that sparkling in daylight, the complete lack of self-control that young vampires have, and mobile phone cameras? It probably wasn't even a year after the end of the book timeline until humans discovered the existence of vampires, lol
Say hello to mandatory sunlight inspections for all citizens. The Cullens would spend the rest of their days living in a cave in Siberia

>>82723064
But how often do they mess with the Cullens beyond when the Cullens directly catch their attention
>Edward goes there to get killed
>they kill none of them anyways
>And demand Bella get what she wanted anyways
>One of the clan goes directly to them and says they broke one of the most sacred laws
>Go to take care of it and find its not the case and leave
So evil

>>82723538
You missed out that the Volturi sat idly by while Victoria and her minions were massacring Seattle. Volturi didn't intervene to prevent this "risk of exposure" because Volturi didn't care. Volturi are hypocrites and liars. They wanted Victoria to kill the Cullens. They expected her to succeed, they didn't know about the werewolves helping. Volturi are cunts

>>82723616
Im not arguing that they are not cunts, I just dont consider them that villainous overall. It just comes down to your opinion of the Cullens though

I liked it

>>82723770
I think being hypocritical power-hungry bullies who want to kill other vampires (peaceful vampires who don't even kill anyone) for purely selfish reasons is fairly villainous

Don't touch Jasper and Alice you shiiits

>>82723864
They also were the only people on Earth that gave a shit about converting babies to vampirism, and said babies promptly going on rampages.
The fact that it's hard for vampires to convert normal humans without losing their mind and killing the victim gives a very horrific implication all by itself.

File: 1478822116996.png (187KB, 409x409px) Image search: [Google]

187KB, 409x409px

>>82709996

>tfw currently reading the book

>>82724343
I'm reading Life and Death, the alternate version with the genders of the characters swapped. Comfy thread.

File: 1475723654144.png (149KB, 396x385px) Image search: [Google]

149KB, 396x385px

>>82724401

>>82721707
>>82721966
These ones sound the best.
Also, the fuck kinda name is Renesmee?
How do you even say it?
I imagine, Renee Smee

>>82724871
REN-esmé

>>82724871
She combined the name of her mother Renee with Edward's mother Esmee

>>82721966
It's mad to think how different this film is from where the series started. Shit got pretty ridiculous

>>82715975
>he made me go see Twilight
>Twilight was better than Punisher Warzone
>Punisher (2004) > Warzone

damn dude. Thats some shit taste.
Eclipse>Breaking Dawn>Twilight>>>New Moon

File: alice-jackson-rathbone-and-ashley-greene-13774263-1089-1775.jpg (237KB, 1089x1775px) Image search: [Google]

237KB, 1089x1775px

I fucking love Eclipse

If i had to live in america i'd go to the town from this movie, all that forest and overcast weather looks comfy as heck

>Twilight thread
>no redditors hating
rare but based

don't die yet

File: pontius.jpg (54KB, 463x293px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 463x293px

>>82726581
>I hate the pacific northwest man, you know? It rains all the time, people don't like to work there. No one wants to live in misery all day.

>And then you go there and you go into a bar and everyone hates you cause you're on TV. That's why Kurt Cobain killed himself cause everyone was player hatin' on him, ya know?.

>If I’d’ve lived in the Pacific Northwest I would have killed myself years ago.

>>82709996
The books were incredibly comfy
The films were okay but not as comfy

>>82717650
haha i had that same shit rip on my ipod 2 months later after it premiered. Thankyou limewire