>character goes to bed >doesn't struggle all night

>>82695150
poop, wash, then pack with vasolene

why dont you just use antibacterial soap?

>>82695150
>not taking shits before you shower
Are you a fucking ape?

>>82695196
This guy knows. A shower is a man's bidet.

>>82695150
sounds like hemorroids, need clean sheets for a while

>>82695150

Buy a pack of baby wipes.

Jesus you fucking autists literally need your asses wiped for you.

>Character is sitting up in bed
>Doesn't fanatically scratch his groin area because of the jock itch

>>82695238
Or wet toilet paper and wipe. Then dry with toilet paper.

I had an itchy anus for so long when I was a kiddo,
Found out it was Ringworms, nasty little buggers.

File: 1407809536371.png (200KB, 936x590px) Image search: [Google]

200KB, 936x590px

>Character doesn't have tiny white worms in his ass that crawl out at night and make his asshole permanently itchy

I don't even want to get rid of them anymore, they're my only friends other than my imaginary friend Duke who beats up the nightmare creatures when I have bad dreams.

>>82695351
Based Duke.

File: 1492340257586.jpg (29KB, 350x400px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 350x400px

>>82695196
>>82695283
These niggas know whats up. It's like with all the advances in toilet paper technology people never learned how to wipe their ass.

OP if you can't do it just buy a japanese toilet seat that wipes your ass for you.

I only shit if I can shower after. This way I avoid wiping. I literally haven't used or bought toilet paper in nearly a decade.

>>82695317
>worms ate the inside of this dude's ass

cool

Sounds like you have threadworms/ pinworms friend.

who is that porn star who shot a scene while infested with pinworms? and pls post the webm

>>82695150
Does anyone else occasionally get muscle spasms between their balls and their anus in the middle of the night for about 5 minutes coupled with an intense ache that feels like you're straining to take a shit but you aren't? It only happens occasionally in the night times and it's incredibly painful, I had a kidney stone once and it wasn't nearly as bad.
I tried Googling it once but there was nothing there and I don't want a doctor to finger my anus.

>>82695582
please give answer

>>82695581
Jenna haze

>>82695582
>I don't want a doctor to finger my anus
I'm not a doctor

>>82695582
yeah, it's usually bad enough for me to get out of bed and try to take a shit (which doesn't happen most of the time and I just waste 15min or so)

for me, it's now infrequent. maybe every other or few month or so. try drinking more water and eating more fiber maybe?

>>82695933
Sounds like a pelvic floor disorders. Happens more in women than men, but meh: http://www.uchospitals.edu/specialties/pelvic/faq/pelvic-floor-disorders.html

>>82695582
I think I've had this a couple of times but only ever after having a huge wank. I end up sitting on the toilet like this anon >>82695933 as well. I always thought that it was my prostate hurting because I edged too much.

>tfw you take a shit and then wipe well
>still shower afterwards
>a few hours later, your asshole itches
>scratch it and discover shit on your finger
>go to the bathroom to wipe
>takes two wipes to clear it
wtf happened to my ass

>>82696399
leaky boipucci

>>82697000
how does that even happen?