>Guy Ritchie’s King Arthur: The Legend of the Sword first

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>>82667472
>Ritchie replaces the Arthurian romanticism handed down from Malory and T. H. White, Camelot and John Boorman’s Excalibur , with his own Laddish impudence. While the dialogue is modern, urban vulgate — dismissing with “Thous,” “arts,” and “forsooths” — the spirit is authentic. “Oi!” and “You big silly posh bastard!” are national history and modern civics as Brits are living it now. Given the woeful absence of credible political humor in pop culture, King Arthur ’s impudent mirth fills the gap with topical parallels that work satirically. It honestly replicates crude, ignorant, uninspired, and non-committed behavior among our politicians and citizenry. Ritchie’s vision is comic — not nihilistic — recognition. It’s as authentic as a Monty Python skit but with a preferable Laddish tone.

>King Arthur is precisely what Quentin Tarantino could not do with American history in Django Unchained and The Hateful Eight . When Arthur rescues a boy who has witnessed his father’s brutalization by the evil usurper Vortigern (Jude Law), the montage connecting savagery, screaming, silence, and escape specifically improves on the carnage of Reservoir Dogs . Tarantino’s sheer sadism lacks the sexy, game-playing frivolity of Ritchie’s violent jamborees. King Arthur ranks with Ritchie’s best antic japes.

>>82667472
Honorary straight white man strikes again

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>>82667498
>We who have been waiting for Ritchie’s waggishly promised sequel to his sleek, stylish RocknRolla (2008) may have to content ourselves with King Arthur . It’s RocknRolla revised as Camelot: egalitarian and postcolonial (multiracial), a muddy, mystically murky, roughly formed society in which Arthur, like other Ritchie heroes, is tutored as a commoner but gains an ethical sense of duty. The redemptive, dreamlike image of Arthur receiving the weighty sword Excalibur from the Lady of the Lake — both suspended in time, both underwater — pays rightful homage to Boorman’s visually exquisite 1981 epic. It reimagines royalty as honor that is earned, respect that is acquired through virtue and courage.

>This fantasy history might seem as remote as the Middle Ages are from today’s berserk political correctness, yet at its core it is a romantic ideal — impressively embodied by Hunnam (now liberated from the nonsense of The Lost Island of Z ).

>Arthur’s first use of the sword Excalibur might be the best battle scene in any Arthurian movie since Boorman’s — the sword vanquishes but it also vibrates, endowing its bearer with obligation. This weightiness refines Arthur’s rascality. There’s a natural resemblance to young Prince Hal carousing with Falstaff, just as Orson Welles dramatized in Chimes at Midnight . This appreciation of wild youth incubating in the British monarchy is key to Ritchie’s instinct that lad culture is connected to a Tory heritage — reminiscent of Bryan Ferry’s cover image for Roxy Music’s timeless, chivalrous make-out album Avalon . All that, plus Hunnam — with his chin-up, goateed, regal profile — knows how to wear a crown.

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>>82667498
>japes
I learned a new word today

>it's dumb on purpose because people are dumb so it's genius
based armond white does it again

>only honest critic like it
>RLM will hate it
That's how you know a movie is actually good

>Let's take a trip to Planet Marvel. It used to be fun; it used to be super (heroic); it used to be a comic. Now the inmates have taken over the asylum and it's come to this - Guardians Of The Fallacy: The Return Ticket.
>If you put your brain into a blender and flip those 3-D glasses over candy coloured peepers you might avoid the side effects of a spaced CGI gangfest and offer an Instacritique ("Awesome!") or die of shock.
>Here's the thumbnail: Hunky Chunk (Chris Pratt) lost his mom and can't find his dad. Out in space it's all action. Things blow up. Weird people get weirder. Hunky Chunk's team consists of a raccoon that talks (thanks Bradley), a pinky sized twig, called Baby Groot (Vin on vocals), a half-naked iron pumper with man boobs and no neck, a skinny chick with martial arts skills who's sister wants to kill her and maybe someone/something else you've forgotten..
>There are baddies, a lady from Planet Goldfinger with an all girl killer squad and a blue guy with shark's teeth who leads a rabble of homeless druggies and believes that the cosmos consists of "those who dance and those who don't" and an even uglier dude, called Taser Face, who makes insanity feel cozy.
>Hunky Chunk finds his dad, who is a god and has been alive since the dinosaurs were young and still looks like Kurt Russell.
>"I have made mistakes," he tells his boy/man/chunk. "But you are not one of them."
>This changes once the special effects partygoers have free access to the toy cupboard and Hunky Chunk tells Imortalman, "You shouldn't have killed my mom and squished my Walkman."
>The raccoon cannot save the film from self-destruction but he does pretty well as comic relief despite the occasional lapse such as announcing, "I wanna kill some guys," which is ignored since that's what everyone else is up to.
>Making sense of explosions on green screen is a tough call as you spin endlessly in a vacuum created by flatulence from a fading star.

>>82667472
>when you're so obviously contrarian RottenTomatoes, a site that lets literal who bloggers post, bans you from posting

>he loved it
Clearly the King of /tv/. If you disagree you are reddit.

>>82667616
WILDCARD

>>82667498
>King Arthur is precisely what Quentin Tarantino could not do with American history in Django Unchained and The Hateful Eight
TARANFEETO BTFO

>>82667472
Guy ritchie has never made a good aside from lock, stock and two smoking barrels and that other film.

>>82667472
Armond White is one of the dullest critic in the history of movie reviews.

>>82669509
>being this stupid.
guaranteed american

>>82669529
>retard

Tell me his other good film.

It's looks like cgi shit though,also this is the same monkey that loved hidden figures(which /tv/ conviently forgets about)

>>82669552
>wants to argue only his opinion is correct about subjective medium
definite yank.

>>82667472
Reading a Nigger review and shit posting here

What did this faggit mean by this?

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>>82667616
/tv would be a better board if everything RT related got filtered

>ctrl+F "obama" and "9/11"
>0 results
Armond is losing it.

>>82669643
>it's a 'redditor tries to desperately fit in' episode

>>82669643
>being this new

>>82669556
I bet you didn't even read his Hidden Figures review.

>>82669759
Armond hates rottentomatoes newfag.

Thats actually the best sign he is the last honest film critic left.

Has he ever actually met a lad?

>>82667472
>>82667498
>>82667521
Thanks based Armond

>>82669759
Rotten Tomatoes needs to die, with a knife up their ass.

>>82670374
How the fuck is he a newfag retard? Learn to read

This movie will bomb, and rightfully so.

THANK YOU BASED ARMOND

https://moviepilot.com/posts/3991532

Not surprising this place would like this guy. He is after all a contrarian troll. Or just someone with horrible taste.

>>82673137
You don't even read his reviews tho

people have to remember art is subjective and film is art

Armond White is an extremely well educated man who evaluates films by their artistic merit and nobody can deny he is not afraid of voicing his opinion

he is the last true film critic and the only honest man left in the planet

Armond White is a goddamn hero and i hate to see people disrespect him and his vision

>>82673137
Go back to where you came from.

Why does Armond only like shit films?

>>82673183
I read his reviews years ago before he got banned from rotten tomatoes.

He became infamous for being a contrarian who said the opposite of whatever is the popular opinion. If the majority likes something then he says its trash. If the majority dislikes something he says its a work of art.

He's a troll and an attention whore.

>>82667472

he's literally just a contrarian. he loves movies critics hate and hates movies critics love. his schtick is pretty played out at this point.

>>82673266
He agrees with the majority more often than not but this conversation comes up in every armond thread because someone is butthurt that he didn't like something they liked so they just label him a contrarian to attack him rather than his argument

Usually I'd talk shit but the last time I trusted him was for Pain and Gain and that was my favorite movie of that year. I'll give it a look

>>82673137

>"Now that the Harry Potter series is over, maybe the truth can be realized: This has been the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises."

at least i finally know where that line in the copypasta came from

>>82673332

he loves every single michael bay movie. he thought all the transformers films were all works of art.

>>82673296
But he's hating on king Arthur like the rest of the critics

>>82673421

you need to work on your reading comprehension.

that's a positive review.

>>82673418
He didn't like the first one but liked the second. That's all you need to know to not take this retard seriously

>>82673579
Tbh I only read a couple sentences but it sounded like he was hating on it

>>82669552
>Snatch
>Sherlock Holmes
>Revolver
>Rock N Rolla

Shoo shoo American

>/tv/ fawning over a self-hating black and gay man and renowned contrarian

Gosh colour me surprised

>>82671927
>How the fuck is he a newfag
>is he

people won't know i'm defending myself if i do it in third person!

>>82673137
>Not surprising this place would like this guy. He is after all a contrarian troll.

he is actually a very consistent, principled hardcore leftist. that's why his reviews stick out so much on a centrist liberal site like rottentomatoes, and why he inspires so much rage: he is always shitting on the liberal consensus, but from the position of an authentic progressive. the liberals and the right have seen the world in terms of their little fake culture war for so long they are baffled by any critical position that isn't "more diversity now" or "less diversity now", so people get frustrated that they can't parse his reviews at all and end up thinking they're just "trolling" or whatever.

so it actually is pretty surprising that /tv/ likes him.

>>82667472
>>82667498
>>82667521
well he's sold me on it
based Armond

>>82667498
>>82667521

>It honestly replicates crude, ignorant, uninspired, and non-committed behavior among our politicians and citizenry. Ritchie’s vision is comic — not nihilistic — recognition. It’s as authentic as a Monty Python skit but with a preferable Laddish tone.

>This appreciation of wild youth incubating in the British monarchy is key to Ritchie’s instinct that lad culture is connected to a Tory heritage

absolutely based

>>82667616
Actually it was confirmed it was because he couldn't be bought by marvel so they removed him from the site

>>82673743
>faggot goes straight to identity politics because his vocabulary won't allow him to read the review

Find a flaw, you can't.

>>82667553
RLM won't watch it because they're too busy doing nothing

>>82674393
>confirmed
Oh, yeah? Got a source on that other than your puckered and chapped asshole?

>>82673627
>implying based armond's reviews are as simple as like vs dislike
you have to go back!

>>82667533

See to your education, boyo

how many games he completed to even compare a movie to shitty videogames?

>>82667521

>King Arthur
>King Armond

I ain't saying it's a sign or anything but..

>>82667472
Rofl.

I almost thought it would be a review and somehow he still twists it into an excuse to discuss politics.

Armond is such a clown.

>>82674129
he's a conservative though
Case in point, The National Review is a right-wing site.

>>82667472
I love Armond but let's cut through the bullshit. He will give a positive review to any movie featuring hot dudes.

>>82667553
RLM will not review this movie. They barely do half in the bag anymore and when they do it's capeshit.

>>82675671
He's still a gay black man and has a serious persecution complex.

>>82667521
>>82667498

>all that boorman love

I probably won't see it, but I'm glad Armond gives so much reverence to it.

>>82675681
That explains his love for Tom Ford.

>>82667472
It's sad that Almond White tries to imitate Pauline Kael as she also went against the tide in most of her reviews. However, Kael had many valid points and she was very persuasive because you clearly could see her reasoning. She didn't twist the facts as White does.

>>82667472
Is at least a single BLACK character on King Arthur: The Legend of the Sword, if so, I'm not watching it.
Don't care if the black is good or bad.

The King has spoken!!

>>82675984

>not supporting based Digimon

pleb

>King Arthur is precisely what Quentin Tarantino could not do with American history in Django Unchained and The Hateful Eight

based armond. Calling out tarantula for the try hard he is

>>82676061
>WE

A so I was right, no I won't support any nigger/white that want to change history because of agenda. FUCK THIS MOVIE. AGAIN


WE

>>82667472
Okay.
How would he know what a video game looks at?
Does he know anything about different engines, developers, or designers?
If he doesn't then he can't compare it to something he doesn't have any knowledge of.

>>82676158

You sound like you're desperately trying to fit in

>>82675671
see: you refuse to take into account his actual output (because you don't know how to read it) and instead pick a "side" for him based on superficial shit like which publications he's appeared in. he writes for conservative publications because they will publish him, and they will publish him because he pisses off liberals.

but please, do explain to me how he is a conservative based on his actual output. is shitting on toy story on the grounds that it's capitalist propaganda something a conservative writes? why is this supposed conservative constantly making marxist points?

>>82676185
You sound like a desperate shill trying to hard to convince me to go and watch this shit. SHILL HARDER, not going you nigger.

WUZ

Also, reducing his review down to a simple loves or hates is incredibly disingenuous for the most part. I figure it is in the most part due to people (ie retards) lacking the reading comprehension to understand what he says.

>>82676222
https://www.nationalreview.com/article/392708/foxcatcher-2014s-worst-movie-be-yond-lights-hits-high-note-armond-white

>>82675671
>>82676222
He also reviews movies for Out.

>>82676222
>Marxist
>Armond White
https://www.nationalreview.com/article/432325/knight-cups-terrence-malicks-cinematic-prayer

>>82667472
So is the movie good then?

has anyone actually seen it, how is it? Was thinking about going later.

His review actually makes me want to see it. Thanks Armond.

>>82676414
No one here actually watches new movies until there's a torrent out. /tv/ is just praising it because it got bad reviews.

>He likes it

This movie must be horrible to sit through

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>>82673341
we are not worthy

>name is White
>isn't
based

>>82675115
Yes, but do you believe everything you read?

>'Get Out' drops to 99 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, gets negative review from Armond White
Is it possible to be more based than this man?

>>82667472
BASED

>Snatched, the new skanky-titled Amy Schumer film, is recommended to all Black Lives Matter lemmings. With their childish sense of racist oppression, they aren’t smart enough to recognize how their white liberal enablers — such media folk as comedienne Schumer — live, work, and prosper according to an unacknowledged social law.

>Hawn’s career blossomed at the cusp of feminism, before feminism became an excuse for obsessive personal selfishness of the type that Schumer celebrates this millennium. Not even Levine’s adolescent sensitivity is enough to undo Schumer’s obnoxiousness. Schumer has created a grating persona that lacks decency, trust, and charm. Like Lena Dunham, she verges on indulging the implicit misogyny of producers Paul Feig and Judd Apatow. Her shtick is part doormat, part douche.

>Yet Schumer suffers no social stigma no matter how relentlessly she portrays spoiled, disgusting, self-involved, ignorant, blue-eyed, blonde, white girls — that’s the oppression Black Lives Matter kids cannot articulate. They need to learn that in today’s politicized popular culture — to paraphrase Mel Brooks’s satire of Western hegemony in History of the World, Part One – “It’s good to be a Schumer.”

>>82676752
Only on 4chan

>all these redditors piping up the contrarian excuse
state of you all

>>82667616
>Obviously contrarian
The term you're looking for is "Against the narrative"

>>82669759
About what I would expect.