>doesn't know shit about Film >minimal Reviews Why

>>82638076
I don't watch him, but he seems like a friendly guy. Besides the whole Zod's snapped neck thing he doesn't seem too smug when compared to other reviewers

hes palatable to normies and weebs

He actually has some good insight in some of his analysis videos. But that's all I've seen of him

And I've read his BvS script, which was hilarious

film school and all that shit is just a meme anyways

>>82638197
you don't need to go to film school to be a better reviewer than him though, his insight, analysis and taste are so bland and surface level

>>82638076
I don't

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>>82638145
he's an asshole bordering on sociopathic irl though

someone post that NY story

>>82638657
What's that about

>>82638719
http://whathappenedtofuryofthefilmfan.blogspot.com/

>During the trip Chris was a dark cloud, a very brooding presence in my happy home. We tried offering to go out and do fun things but he only wanted to see movies and do his reviews. He did a wonderful job of ignoring my kid who wanted to talk to him and even tossed my wife attitude when she asked him about his goals and spoke candidly about his future goals. He may not have noticed but this is what we got. He's the type of guy to make everyone miserable and then apologize for it and play the victim. I can't stand that type of person.

It reads like that "I saw (insert person) at the Supermarket today" copypasta, but it's real.

>>82638757
> he only wanted to see movies and do his reviews
lol

>>82638757
>One of the issues that bugged the hell out of me was how financial unprepared Chris was to come to New York. For weeks I had told him to save up because New York was expensive. Prior to arriving he spent money on a bunch of Blu rays since he was now starting a collection. My wife left a message online telling him to keep saving for New York. Of course we had food for him that was the extension of our invite and I even went out and bought an air mattress. We didn't have money for these things since my wife was out of work but I put it on credit. I didn't mind , I even spot him for the imax tickets for Mission Impossible 3 he said he'd pay me back because he didn't have a card.
>When he got back to Ohio he posted up pics of more blu rays he purchased and even a TV. This was like a slap in the face to us. We couldn't help but feel used. There's a way to handle an invite to stay with people and then there's mooching. Even if the TV was purchased by his parents, why didn't his parents give him money for his trip? That's what any parent would do no? make sure he's got enough and not be a burden to the people hes staying with?
>It's not an issue of money, because I treat my friends to many , many things. It's how it all came together...you go back home and start posting pics of your new TV and your blu ray collections and I'm like...wait..how do you have those things now when in New York you could barely afford a metrocard? It was pure D-baggery and I kept quiet about it. I didn't confront him about it, the colors were already shown especially when he ignored us after his trip. Something he admitted to AFTER I made those videos on him. He admitted he ignored me because I was somehow a negative influence on his spirituality. I found that to be a hilarious excuse. I really understood him as a person after he said that.

lol

this combined with the redlettermedia thing is very illuminating

>>82638757
That's hilarious.

I buy it though, the guy is autism incarnate. He's just managed to find a way to turn it into a formula to churn out mediocre reviews which normies lap up. Like Doug, he likes the idea of movies without actually taking the time to understand them one bit.

>>82638076
>implying anyone here does
I discovered him years ago when he was still largely unknown. I'm amazed how he blew up and surpassed once top guys like Douge in popularity.

Makes you think literally anyone can do it as long as you're not an autist.

>>82638882
Link to videos?

>>82638972
As long as you are an autist, anon

Chris is also a bullshitter
> I did this BvS rewrite in half an hour
> can be heard weeks prior saying "Zods snapped neck" on some dudes youtube channel

>>82639158
sauce on snapped neck?

>>82639158
source on that second claim?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJAaRFb-JJg

>>82639271
>>82639583
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12NtS-mh1gk
@8:58

>>82639799
wow

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Somebody post the picture of him with all the black people.

>>82639158
>>82639799

It's just an idea he had in his head. He means actually sitting down and writing the script took half and hour.

>Those disgusting teeth and screaming

>>82639849
look at the earlier replies lol

>>82639859
Doesn't change the fact that its a shit idea he came up with. The quality of his actual work prove he's a knob head

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Reminder
https://youtu.be/dySI7lckA1Y?t=1h19m57s

>>82639903
Aw shit, the filter threw me off.

Isn't his short film on pornhub? Someone link it. It's fucking amazing. It's called Julia or something.

>>82640090
I heard this before, and I'm never able to finish it. It's just too embarrassing

>>82640131
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph55e3dc50f2b0b

>Stuckmann is my hero! You should all worship his craft! I live, breath, and cum to the thought of this brilliant man, and if you aren't, then you're stupid as FUCK. This is better than sex. This is a trip to heaven and back. Screw blowjobs and creampies, I wanna be STUCKMANNIZED.

>>82640158
why is it so cringe?

>>82640183
Thanks bruh.

>>82640090

he's such a child

>>82640222
If you google prog rock or 80's rock, the dire straits are gonna be one of the first results. Regardless what you think of the band/style of music, it's one of the most basic, vanilla, pleb recommendations you can give to someone who reviews music for a living.

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>>82638076
Review Screw > Chris Cuckmann

>>82640090
audibly keked

he's being 100% serious holy shit

>>82639010

The rlm thing?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qpT7bWSgwg

>>82640336
RedLettermedia > Nostalgia Critic = Review Screw > Trash > YMS > StuckMann > Jahns

I don't. I don't watch internet "reviewers".

>>82640416
>Jahns that low

Kill yourself

>>82640416
Your own opinion > Ralph The Movie Manlet > Shit >>>>>>>>>> YMS

>>82640416
They're all trash

Filmo99 > literally any other YouTube reviewer >>82640416>>82640543

He knows better than Jeremy Jahns
>Giving King Arthur a better review then GOTG 2

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>>82640365
He looks like he's about to cry
Banter in the UK would end him

>>82640828
i dunno why he had to tell everyone this. it does not benefit him in any way shape or form.

>>doesn't know shit about film
>actually has a whole best-seller book released on the topic

The jealousy is suffocating ITT.

>>82642080
"Best seller"
>implying he didn't just buy a bunch of copies on his own

>>82640653
who

>>82642080
>JK Rowling is one of the greatest authors ever

>>82642080
>50 Movies of the 2000s to See Before You Die
wow he made a detailed list
10/10 literature

I grew up with Stuckmann's reviews, I give it an A-

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>>82642326
>>82642080

>>The Film Buff's Bucket List: The 50 Movies of the 2000s to See Before You Die

Here is his list. Is he pleb or patrician? You decide.

>>82642524
Read the first 3 lines and I already know it's terrible.

>>82640507
jahns is cringe incarnate, but at least he has a degree of self awareness

>>82638882
what a cock, glad i've never seen one of his videos

>>82642524
>has Collateral
>instant bullshit shit

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>>82638076
how can zods snapped neck even compete?

>>82642524
Some real hidden gems on this list. Glad someone is giving these movies exposure.

Why do I see this fuckers face, and no RLM threads talking about Jay's tight fuckable asshole.

>>82638076
He is an annoying and unfunny literal autists, why are you surprised people in here watch him?

>>82642524

Literally had to tell fuck off at the picture when I opened it and skimmed through he list. He literally just took that top 100 Reddit movies list and reordered them.

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>>82642840
>hidden gems
But that list is basically an IMDB top 50

>>82643048
thatsthejoke.jpeg

>>82643113
Sorry, I can't tell when someone is being sarcastic or is simply retarded in this website anymore.

>>82640416
RedLetterMedia > YMS > trash > Stuckmann = Jahns > Nostalgia Critic

I'm not ranking Review Screw because he isn't a reviewer, he's just an attention whore who is trying to turn himself into a /tv/ meme. He's even worse than tripfags.

>>82642524
So entry level it hurts.
>Star Wars: TFA
You've gotta be shitting me.

Ive seen some of his reviews. The little jokes he tries to throw in always fall flat and are cringe inducing af. Its like he is not selfaware of the shit he says and What funny acutally is. Would it surprise anyone if he was a former /b/tard?

>>82642524
>implying anyone who likes films enough to buy the book wouldn't have seen all of those already
Doesn't he watch movies for a living? Surely he's seen a few not as well known films worth recommending?

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What's wrong with this teeth?

I watched a couple of his reviews and some of them seem like he didn't actually watch the movie he was just saying vague things that apply to anything.

>>82643334
he's surface level as it gets that's why, he watches movies for quantity's sake, he probably doesn't even read novels to sharpen his analysis of scripts, plot and characterization

>>82642524
So is this book for 12 year olds? Caché, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, When Marnie Was There and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon are the only films on that list that aren't super popular.

he's a summarizer, he retells you the plot and calls it a review

>>82643290
I don't regularly watch his videos but the worst recurring joke I've seen him do is
>show clip from bad movie or explain a dumb plot point
>stare at the camera
>carry on staring
>carry on staring
>make extremely unfunny comment
>burst into fake hysterical laughter and quickly cut to next point
He's just not a naturally funny guy but it doesn't stop him from trying.

this explains how he got popular, he did a bit of networking

>>82642840
>Some real hidden gems on this list
list them

>>82643623
Yup, Cuckmann is a leech. When he was a nobody he worked together with YouTubers who were relatively small but a lot bigger than him and as soon as he started to get big he ditched them and started working together with bigshots.

>>82643350
Adult braces.

>>82638757
Honestly this Fury of the Film Fan guy sounds like an asshole

creating a character to troll Chris on youtube was pathetic

>>82644000
Hey Chris

>>82642524

This just looks like a list of movies everyone over the age of 20 and has a passing interest in movies has seen.

>>82644183
>over the age of 18
FTFY

>>82644183
you are basically agreeing with the list

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>>82638757

>hides under a persona
>makes video trash talking Chris
>expect people to go after Chris
>people discover who he is and go after him instead
>somehow Chris is in the wrong

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>>82643240
>he isn't a reviewer

The jealously is palpable.

>>82644555

So you're saying he made this up?

>>82644600
I'm saying that he's a hypocrite at best

>>82644599
Review Screw, fuck off. If you're a reviewer then every idiot who shitposts on YouTube is a reviewer.

>>82644599
D U B S
U
B
S

>>82644863
Do you follow him on twitter? Pretty good content

>>82645185
No one here's gonna follow your twitter faggot

>>82645185
Just go ahead and post your twitter, Review Screw. We know you want to.

>>82645185
>shilling yourself on 4chan
This is sad and pathetic

>>82645339
>>82645343
>>82645470
Angry DCucks.

>>82645556
I hate the DCEU. Zack Snyder is one of the biggest hacks of this generation. Now either post your twitter or fuck off, Review Screw.

>>82645470
His account is locked, you can't shill a locked twitter, moron

>>82645602
Nah I've rode his dick far enough. Find it yourself

>>82645603
That's why he wants people to follow him

Looks like Cliff Blezinski

>>82645602
Not the guy you're replying to but his twitter is @THEREVIEWSCREW

it's locked though

>>82645669
Makes zero sense. He's yet to accept my follow request

>>82645556
>muh capeshit wars
this is even more sad and pathetic

>>82645656
>his dick
Stop the games, Review Screw. You're one of the most obvious shills I've ever seen. You're almost as bad as Uridon.

>>82640416
All of them are garbage, including RLM

>>82645674
Kinda, I guess.

>>82642524
BRAVO

>>82640183
>makes a wannabe version of drive
>doesn't understand why drive was so good
>rapes the rule of thirds
>has no understanding of pacing
>awkward long shots
>shots are overexposed as fuck
>dialogue is overlong and clunky
>acting is horrible
>tries to be mysterious by playing with central imagination but doesn't understand how that works either
>doesn't seem to understand how music made drive great either, which is why he fills his soundtrack with shitty not-even-synthwave tracks

Jesus christ, I could tolerate Stuckmann but I'm starting to see through his bullshit

only youtube reviewer that talks about animekino

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PJePhJY76U

>>82647898
Fuck off faggot, Bennett the Sage is the only animoo reviewer that knows his shit and is actually good.

>>82647898
There are countless anime reviewers on YouTube. Watch one of them instead of Cuckmann.

>>82644599
based review screw

>>82648052
a redditor
>>82648072
no

>>82640365
Nah the Fury videos about Chris

>>82648777
Fury privated them and no one has re-uploaded them.

>>82647577
I can assure you he has no clue what the rule of thirds is.

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Chris Stuckmann is the greatest auteur of his generation, his films will be studied for decades after he's gone.

>>82644740

Who gives a fuck about that guy? The story about cuckman is what people are focused on you retard

>>82649534
What's the deal with the lighter?

>>82638972
but he is an autist anon. and he succeeds because the moronic majority soak up his pointless vids.

>>82638942
>Like Doug, he likes the idea of movies without actually taking the time to understand them one bit.

This is the most perfect analysis of both.
They don't really understand most of the movies they look at.
>Stuckmann's take on ScarJo GitS
>Doug's look at Tank Girl

>>82638076
I don't even think his reviews are that interesting, but he seems like an okay guy.

>>82639859
As a writer, when an idea you like pops into your head, it brews. You stew on it until you do something about it. For him, it took two weeks to finally sit down and type it out.
Again, if you give him the benefit of the doubt that he took 30 minutes to crank out a Max Landis level of tripe.

>>82640543
Ralph is shit. Guy needs to stop mentioning his shitty kid short films.
We get it. You saw Serbian Film and late Refn films at 17. Stop trying to rip them off.

>>82642080
It's trash. It's a 40 minute read that is essentially a "I thought these movies I saw in the last 15 years are good" list.
Even the "trivia" is just factual stuff like who directed the movie.
Plus it's your typical baby's first films list kind of list.

>>82642840
Only exposure he's giving is When Marnie Was There and Cache. And that's if you're some plebian pseudo-film expert who hasn't dabbled in anything that isn't genre affair and foreign.

>>82638882
>redlettermedia thing
???

>>82644599
He's not wrong about Looper.
It turned into a Domu/Akira rip on the farm.
Kind of wished we stayed more in the city and saw more stuff between the timelines.

>>82650111
I've noticed that a lot of these pleb tier Youtube reviews like Haneke's films for some reason.

>>82647577
It's a majestic mind into a hack with no creative bone in his body.
And it's sad, because I'm sure he could get his lame audience to help finance a small, short film. He's got some equipment to do it. And he's got the numbers to check him out.
He just lacks any knowledge of how to film and how to be original.

>>82649884
The problem is that he claimed he could pull off the showdown scene better than David S. Goyer, one of Hollywood's worst writers, and his script failed massively. He doesn't seem to understand how people talk at all, or even how people behave. People don't talk in trailer lines like "tell that to zod's snapped neck" and shit like that, that's why Jurassic World's dialogue sounded weird most of the time, conversations tend to have a natural flow to them if you aren't autistic and Stuckmann felt as if dramatic pauses and poses should be an aspect of them.

It sounds strange, but something tells me he was trying to put something together that would have worked better in one of those gook cartoons he likes so much. That doesn't make it excusable, that makes him seem more like a filthy weeb

>>82650196
Early him is quite good. His later stuff feels derivative of himself.
Though I do have a fondness for Amour.

But I rather watch a Haneke film than a Dolan film.

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>>82638076
>Why do you watch him again

Because when he transitions it'll be amazing.

>>82650051
In all fairness, if you view it as a "if you haven't seen these movies then you're a fucking idiot who lives under a rock" list, then it's perfect.

>>82650280
People stumble, they say uh, or like a lot.

But when it's the movies, sometimes the theatrics are there because it's a movie. it's suppose to be over the top. It is a movie about a rich man who wears a suit, fighting an alien that believes in Ayn Rand.

But he just found a way to make the dialogue more over the top than the material he was writing for. That was his mistake.
People don't say shit like they're Max Landis or Joss Whedon. that glasses bit was embarrassing.

>>82650344
>Catalog
Totally. it's good for the dummies who don't care for movies and just discovered him.
But in his short takes on the movies, they barely talked about the movies and only the slight importance they had on him, because Signs was the first movie he talked to an adult to about a movie.

>>82650471
I hope the adult he spoke to backhanded him for liking such a shitty movie as Signs.

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>>82638076
>it's a Chris posts a "childhood photo" where he's almost out of shot to prove his race-inclusive credentials episode

This man loves himself.

>>82650597
some context please?

>>82640365
>6 minute video about how he is mad
>but he explains how he is actually not even mad

>>82640365
fucking grow a pair Chris.
slam them back or stop ripping them off.

>>82650933
In his review of Get Out he claims to not understand racial tensions because he grew up in an all black neighborhood where he was just one of the home boyz and that photo appears as he's saying it.

>>82651347
lol, ironically he is personalizing the racism Get out is about

>>82638076
Chris is very open. The fact that his reviews are minimal and spoiler free is suitable to have an idea about movies before a theater experience.
If you are new to movies hearing his opinion definitely helps you develop your own taste make this think more about movies rather than just consume it as a form of entertainment.
He is definitely a mature YouTube, they are rare.

>>82638942
Stuckmann should have turned out a gross mega autist, but something in his maturation changed course. He developed chameleon abilities and enough self awareness to maintain his appearance. Once you look like a normal person on the right side of handsome, people become accepting of many eccentricities. You can rant about inane autistic shit, and if you've learned to articulate yourself in an understandable and confident enough manner (combining your autism with the magnetic personalities you've observed), people will just eat it up.

I know because I did the exact same thing.

What's that vlog he did with Flickpick where Stuckmann was getting really pretentious at Toys R Us?

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>>82638076

literally /tv/ is the only site with good taste

>>82651347
Holy kek

Wait whats with all of the personal attacks?
Him talking about movies I didn't see gives me a pretty good summary about how good the movie was

>>82651741
but there's far, far better use of your time than watching his cursory as fuck reviews, like watching movies and analyzing what you enjoy about them.

>>82651424
KEK
Point proven. He doesn't understand film.

>>82652128
You got a point but It just a matter of choice. I prefer to watch his reviews than trailers because sometimes it ruins the experience of a movie. Also it still won stop me from having my own opinion about a movie.

>>82638076
literally who

>>82651882
Hes such a fucking wannabe

>>82638146
This

>>82649843
>>Stuckmann's take on ScarJo GitS
What's wrong with Stuckmann's take on the ScarJo GitS? I'm curious but I don't want to watch it.

If you want normie reviews, DoubleToasted is the patrician's choice

>>82655034
>normie reviews
>patrician's choice
What?

>>82654899
Said he thought it was a great adaptation of the material. He really liked it. Gave it an A-
He also hates Dragonball Evolution (which is a terrible DB movie, but a meh movie if you look past the names and lore and shit) and Speed Racer, which is weird because I thought people liked Speed Racer.

>>82655841
>which is weird because I thought people liked Speed Racer.
Critics ripped it apart, normies were indifferent towards it and I have no idea how fans of the anime feel about it. In recent years it has built up a cult following but I think that cult is mainly comprised of Wachowski brothers fans.

>>82652597
Chris Stuckmann

He's a movie reviewer.

>>82656064
See, I like the anime and I was fine with the movie. It's over the top, and kind of hollow. But there wasn't much to the show anyhow.
Plus it was Scott Pilgrim before that shit started.

>>82638076
>Why do you watch him again
I stopped watching Stuck regularly when my taste for film surpassed his. that said, there are times when I watch his reviews when he's being incredibly autistic.

>>82638076
I liked the time when he claimed seeing Man of Steel three times in the cinema gave him superiority over another critic on whether or not the film was good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNSu7dyODCA

man, this guy has a large ego.

>>82657039
Sauce?

Don't forget. You can watch his kino classic on pornhub: Julia.

>>82640416
Can someone link me the yms talks about beatiality video? Cant seem to find it

>>82651424
This is an issue I have with what people are taking from the movie. If white people adopting "*******black*******" mannerisms is the new racism, I'll take it over lynchings any day. But to label it racism takes a lot of weight away from the word. Because when I hear it I still think of white people lynching black people.

>>82638076
>doesnt know shit about film
wrong
>minimal reviews
yeah thats fucking annoying. However, i would far rather watch a mediocre minimal review than a 30 minute incoherent rant like the shit you get from RLM

>>82659433
fuck off Chris
you'd better go see if your wife is cucking you with one of your friends
>>82650597

>>82640416
the objective answer is literally the exact opposite of what you posted

>>82644599
>jokes that's meant for the audience to laugh even it sacrifices moments of levity

What did he mean by this?

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>>82645674
Or Freddie Mercury with AIDS

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>>82651792
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxgreWzkL3I

Is this it?