How did Sauron feed a million orcs? There is no arable land in

>>82636474
meat on the menu

If they ate meat, they would still need grains or grass to feed the livestock

>>82636474
What about Saurons tax policy?

They loot and pillage

sauron conjured hamburgers out of thin air

>>82636474
>How did Sauron feed a million orcs?
how did turks become a nation, through raiding and pillaging, Tolkien just took the real world reference.

cannibalism, it's even shown in the films that they eat each other

>>82636474
They hunted Oliphaunts and bred Trolls for food. Traded some of the meat with the Easterlings for wheat.

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>>82636474
>There is no arable land.
There totally is.

>The sea is far away.
It's not far at all

>>82636474
there was hints of some sort of orc fast food restaurant chain.

>looks like meat is back on the menu boys!
menus did exist.

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>>82636474
>There is no arable land in mordor and the sea is far away.
Stupid fuck. The plateau of gorgoroth is barren. The other 2/3rds of mordor is fertile farm land tended by slaves and administered by the black numenoreans, complete with the inland sea of nurnen, you dumb meme spouting fuck.

Volcanic soil is incredibly fertile, they probably grew fungus and ate bugs.

They were clearly industrialised. Is using aqueducts really so unbelievable in an economic climate like Mordor's?

>>82636824
This. Stop referring to the movies about how shit was managed in middle earth. Jackson didn't bother with it

>>82636749
But the age of men had ended, and wheat is man made

>>82636824
>black numenoreans

WE WUZ ORCS N SHEET

>>82636474
It's just a stupid movie based on a stupid book for teenagers.

>>82636824
>administered by the black numenoreans

I'd say either Orcs or common slavers and black men. Black Numeroi were incredibly rare.

>>82636800
kek

>third thread in a row
>we are not even talking about tv related shit
>we are /lit/ in the belly of the beast

>>82637090
we have the one ring

they'll never find us

>>82636824
Shadow of Mordor may have been pure fanfic, but they did portray Mordor really well

>>82637005
da wizardz keepin us down

>>82637090
you are a willy

>>82636474

Southern Mordor was enormously fertile and contained countless miles of mechanised farms. Bear in mind that in the movies we never actually see Mordor itself, just the desolate plain of Udun that surrounds Mt Doom.

I wasted my whole day since I got up on these LotR threads

>>82637153
same

>>82636800
I like to think that "looks like meat is back on the menu" is a well-known slogan among orcs for a fast food chain. Like its from some silly commercial for an orc restaurant that they all know. Then when that dude says "looks like meats back on the menu boys" its then also super funny for all the orcbros like "omfg lmao he just said the burger king tagline" "haha good one lets eat this guy now"

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>be me
>be very dark and pretty boring
>be hanging around with my bros
>dad says we are going to create a world by singing
>neat, I love singing
>singing starts, throw my sick jams
>everyone gets angry over it and say they are ugly
>fuck you guys I liek my jams
>dad kicks me out of the band wtf
>leave home and be emo about singing by myself
>meet this big ass spider and hang around because at least she is some kind of company
>hear everyone talking about those amazing gems and want to see them too but I am banned
>friendly spider says will help me sneak in to have a look
>get in, turns out big spider is crazy bitch, kills the Two Trees and wants to eat the Silmarils
>wtf I didnt want this
>grab silmaris and run away, bitch spider chases me around
>manage to save 3 of them
>everyone thinks I stole them
>everyone hates me
>want to kill self but cant because immortal
>fuck this gay earth
>fuck everyone
>I just wanted to jam with my bros

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>>82637090
It is known that the best threads about a certain thing NEVER happen on the boards related to them. Unless it's /k/ but it's an exception.

>>82637174
nice pasta

>>82637174
wtf I like Sauronman now?

>>82636474
he had a trade agreement with the haradrim and easterlings. the orcs diet is of halal and hummus

>>82637174
sauron was a cool guy

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>>82637190

Have my other one too
Am I mememaster yet?


>be me
>born under the Two Trees
>my hair capture their light inside them, be beautiful af
>this edgy elf-prince falls for them, wants one of my hair
>tell him to fuck off because I am an edgy teen myself
>he is a great craftsman though so he captures the light of the Trees himself on some crystals to fap to
>whatever
>he gets increasingly paranoid over someone stealing them
>eventually this evil god shows up and kills his father, fucks up the trees and steals the gems
>massive shitstorm
>fast forward 8000 years
>2 civil wars, 3 genocides, millions dead, two continents obliterated, a dozen civilizations and races lost later, all this bullshit seems about to come to an end
>the gems are destroyed and the last Maiar follower of this asshole is about to get his shit rekt
>see we got his ring of power and we are going to destroy him forever
>this random dwarf shows up and likes my hair too
>he asks for a hair of my head
>dwarves are good craftsmen right?
>oh hell no, we are not doing this again
>give him a hair and two more for backup

>>82637078
Orcs didn't administer shit. Sauron hated them, but used them asa means to an end. The feeling was mutual but the orcs feared sauron as he was Morgoth's heir.
Also since they're corrupted elves they dont really starve to death or die of old age so you give them limited provisions and they muddle through on their own driven by hatred and fear.

If Sauron could make one ring that turned people invisible there's no reason he couldn't make another ring that turned rocks into food.

>>82637277
wtf I like Arwen now?

>>82637306
>>82637220
>>82637243
god damn it

>>82637277
luthien was a cool gal

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>>82637290
>corrupted elves

NO THEY ARENT

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!

i bet that cheeky fucker sauron had the weakest orcs killed for meat

>>82637350
literally did

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Come on we need atleast one lotr shitposting thread

>>82637090
/lit/ is a fucking shitboard. You could never hold all those comfy LOTR threads there
one mention of tolkien on /lit/ (or any book for that matter) and it devolves into autists fighting about religion, theology and ontology while spouting the worst memes of any board within the first 5 replies

>"...Looks like fart's back on the menu boys! *sniff*"

What the fuck, Jackson?

>>82637386
yeah /lit/ is awful, everyone there thinks they're a super special snowflake for reading books

such pretentious assholes

>>82636749
Wouldnt the troll meat turn to stone in the sunlight?

Looks like five is back on the menu, boys.

>>82637419
probably doesn't work when the creature is dead

>>82637153
i have a discussion with my master thesis supervisor tomorrow discussing my results and i spent the last few hours in those threads...
help!

>>82637337
Yes they are. Before Orome found the elves in the darkness Melkor had been filling their heads with lies about the gods of the west. He took some of them into his fortress and corrupted them into becoming the fathers of the race of orcs.
Melkor was forever jelly that he wasn't able to create on his own, only corrupt.

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>>82637386
Bullshit, /lit/ memes are the best.

>>82637419
just eat it at night faggot

>>82637445
I have to write mine until end of July and haven't done shit yet

>>82637445
>master thesis
oh fack big man on campus over here


didn't think smart people browsed /tv/

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>>82637469
dat pic is perfect.

>>82637445
Chill out you pussy. You're becoming a master. A MASTER. Act like one and you will be received like one.

>>82637456
nah, tolkien scrapped that idea because it didn't work with his ideals about elves being hard to corrupt and being immortal

Chris still put it in the silmarillion however because the alternative (orcs being from men) would require him to tweak the timeline too much

>>82637419
>Orcs
>doing anything in the sunlight
U wot?

>>82636474
Nurn

>>82637484
>M.A.
>smart
I am supposed to work on my PhD right now. My Presentation for next is done already tho.

>>82637517
Uruk Hai were orc-men.

>>82637585
Uruk, Orc, and Goblin all mean the same thing

>>82637602
>mean the same thing
There are different races of orcs

>>82637575
>phd
>smart

I literally have a field's medal and i make 6 figures as a chef (wendys)

>>82637602

'no'
you are just trying to stir shit

>>82637618
race is a social construct.

>>82637638
So is rape
Prepare your anus

>>82637105
>genre fiction
Cast it into the fire!
/tv/!

>>82636474
like germans, orcs can go a long time without eating or raep or genocide. but eventually they must feed..

>>82637469
>zizek ideology and coke memes
>David Foster Wallace memes
>start with the greeks
>nietzsche memes
>john green
>posting autistic qotes of that one asian author that posted on /lit/

top quality memes, yes....
/fit/ has objectively the best memes and i'm not even a /fit/izen

>>82637618
>>82637628

No, "Orc" and "goblin" are interchangeable terms used for the entire race. "Orc" is from the language of the Rohirrim while "goblin" is the closest English equivalent. In a literal sense, "uruk" and "uruk-hai" also just mean "orc" and "orc-folk" in the Black Speech, but these terms are used to mean something like "true orcs", i.e. the especially large and fearsome breeds from Mordor and Isengard. While there are mentions of orc-man hybrids the half-orcs that are seen (and are stated to have both human and orc blood) don't look especially like the uruk-hai.


Even Saruman's larger than average uruk-hai are referred to as goblins:

>There were four goblin-soldiers of greater stature, swart, slant-eyed, with thick legs and large hands. They were armed with short broad-bladed swords, not with the curved scimitars usual with Orcs: and they had bows of yew, in length and shape like the bows of Men. Upon their shields they bore a strange device: a small white hand in the centre of a black field; on the front of their iron helms was set an S-rune, wrought of some white metal.

>>82637714
>/fit/
>best anything

maybe years ago. it's just /r9k/ posters that exercise now.

>>82637714

/sg/ has the best memes
I know I am not the only one here

>>82637742
Tolkien was really sloppy with the terminology when it comes to orcs

>>82637623
that doesn't make you smart, but i respect your willpower and work moral

>>82637714
/pol/ memed a president into reality

>>82636474
Help from UN.

>>82637783
with the orcs in general, it's the weakest part of his whole lore

>>82637797
kek
you're right, i change my answer

>>82637290
There were many species of orcs, some more intelligent than others. It's hardly far-fetched that Orcs wouldn't be used as slavers to oversee the slave population that grew the food orcs ate.

>>82637825
well that and the east

but he was a white man so ofc he'd ignore any darkies

>>82637304
Why not just make a ring that makes all humans, elves, and dwarves drop dead?

>>82637854
>Orcs
>In charge of anything
No.

>>82637937
Orcs are actually the smartest of all the races, the only problem is they are massive omegas

>>82637797
/a/ memed the most grossing anime flick ever
/tv/ crashed a plane

>>82637386
/lit/ would just ree the thread to death because LotR is genre fic and they only read "literature" because they fell for the "good sentences" meme.

>>82637954
Shagrat pls.

>>82637304
not necessarily. Just because you can build a table doesn't mean you can build an engine. Maybe they are two completely different magical crafts that take years of apprenticeship. you act as if making rings of power is a beginner's game!

>>82637304
People turned invisible because it dragged them into the shadow world of the wraith. There's no mention of a hamburger realm anywhere.

>>82638034
not in the Euopean editions, that is

>>82638003
Well if trolls made of meat can turn into stone then surely it can't be that hard to reverse engineer the process and turn stone into meat

>>82637937
>orcs in charge of humans Sauron hates also

Yes. Sauron doesn't care about food, the orcs or the human slaves at Núrnen. You think he appoints captains and chieftains? No. Sauron rules through fear but he doesn't rule directly. When Sauron says the orcs are going to war, they obey out of fear of him and the ringwraiths who carry out his will. But when Sauron is plotting the downfall of the West, the orcs are left to their own devices which includes overseeing the forced labor at Núrnen.

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>>82638050
holy fuck america BTFO

>>82638057
>If I burn wood it turns into ash
>Surely it cant be that hard to reverse the process
Durrrrrrrrrrrrrr

>>82638057
Now you're onto something. That's the ticket. There's gotta be a way that they farm the stones and turn them to meat. There are a lot of rocks around. Man, tolkien really has no plot holes huh?

>>82638087
hamburgers are delicious

t. american

>>82637937
>>82637954
Orcs craftmaship was rivaling the dwarves

Plus the spawned numerous prosperous kingdoms in the mountains and never quarreled with humans or elves(no overlapping living space, orcs like unnaground) unless some asshole overlord was manipulating them.

Thing about it, why even orcs want to attack Mirkwood or Gondor?
They dont like these places

>>82638083
Sauron literally has battle meditation and controls individuals directly

through all of LOTR he's basically playing a massive RTS game

>>From all his policies and webs of fear and treachery, from all his stratagems and wars his mind shook free; and throughout his realm a tremor ran, his slaves quailed, and his armies halted, and his captains suddenly steerless, bereft of will, wavered and despaired. For they were forgotten. The whole mind and purpose of the Power that wielded them was now bent with overwhelming force upon the Mountain. At his summons, wheeling with a rending cry, in a last desperate race there flew, faster than the winds, the Nazgûl the Ringwraiths, and with a storm of wings they hurtled southwards to Mount Doom.

>>82638057
You cant un-bake something lad

>>82638134
this. The orcs did nothing wrong, they were like hobbits, conmtent to just keep to themselves and build shit

but then the insecure cuck sauron twisted their peaceful ways

>>82638091
Fire consumes the wood though, leaving only ash behind. The trolls didn't seem to lose any matter when turning.

>>82638057
>sauron experiments with trolls and sunlight
>reverse engineers the petrification process
>casts a spell against minas tirith
>all the walls turn into meat and everything collapses suffocating all inhabitants

>>82638214
i lost it visualising this shit
Thanks for the hearty kek

>>82638214
not a problem, they can just eat their way out

especially when the armies of hobbits come to their aid

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>>82637783
Tolkien was also very transparent about how his lore has changed over the years.

The reason there is a distinction between goblins and orcs is because Tolkien had a different idea of what a 'goblin' was when writing the Hobbit versus how they are depicted in the LotR. Essentially, there's confusion over what constitutes goblins and orcs because he himself wasn't clear at the time of writing the Hobbit.


Fun fact: after the success of the LotR trilogy he wanted to re-write the Hobbit and retcon in all of the lore he had since expanded on and make it match the tone of his later books (ie darker).

Unfortunately (or fortunately) he only made it a couple of chapters in before he died. If you're interested in reading them you can find them pretty easily on the internet.

>>82638214
>turns mount doom into a sentient flesh mountain

>>82638134
Go to bed grishnakh

>>82638151
So was Sauron actually a corporeal dude sitting in the big tower when they got to Mordor? Or was he just an intangible force of malice?
I am admittedly a moviefag (I've read The Hobbit and seen both LotR adaptations) but I know the flaming eye thing is mostly a Jackson invention.

>>82636474
food stamps

>>82638269
I'm surprised that no autists has finished that project


I'd love to have a consistent lore, maybe even work in that russian lotr book

>>82636760
salt water dingus

>>82638280
We went into eldritch creatures really fast

>>82638322
by the time of RoTK he was already corporeal again

>>82638280
There's a great horror-fantasy novel in this reverse-petrification concept.

>>82638269
I think the confusion has been solved, and that it has been 100% confirmed in one of Christopher's History of Middle-Earth books that goblins and orcs and just synonyms.

>>82638350
it isn't. it's just a big lake
but even if it were you could simply reverse engineer it into sweet water..

>>82638350
no

>>82638365
Seems like an odd narrative choice for the fellowship to never directly encounter or even see him.

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Why did Gandalf like to hang out with the Hobbits so much?

Was it because he was a pedophile? And the tiny hobbits where legal while still looking like children

>>82638451
How so? It's a good choice, it lets Sauron seem much more menacing and powerful if he's just pulling the strings. Besides if they ever did run into him they would get BTFO so easily.

>>82638398
to be honest I prefer to think of the Middle Earth mythos as fluid and disparate - that way Tolkien or his estate don't have to come up with a bullshit way of justifying things that don't work.

IMO having a shared, fixed lore would take away a lot of the mystery and intrigue in his outlying works.

The Hobbit works as a book because it's specifically designed for younger audiences as a 'warm up' to the LotR - it's the same reason reading the Silmarillion or his other books feels so different. If they all had the same tone I feel like Middle Earth would feel mundane and prosaic more than it already is

>>82638406
>>82638423

By definition a sea is salt water

>>82638503
Because they give him free tobacco

>>82638503
they hooked him up with the best (Longbottom) leafs

>>82638503
Because they were peaceful. Never cared for wars, which ultimately destroy many great things. They just like to eat, drink and sleep.

>>82638559
>prosaic

nigga you insane, lotr is romantic af

They ate gabagool and gabagool accessories

>>82638565
>>82638567
>>82638600
so Gandalf was a loser stoner?

this just lends credence to my pedo theory

>>82638641
top kek

>>82638406
Its an endohiric body of water like the Caspian, so it probably has salt water, but it's still fed by fresh water sources which would be used for irrigation.
Not that it being salt water would stop it from being a source of food.

>>82638559
Yes, I kinda agree. But when it comes to what species exist and which don't, I like to have a clear, unique answer.

>>82638535
Don't be disingenuous. You know exactly what I mean. Having a villain who you never see who is killed off page through the destruction of a macguffin is weird. It makes Sauron feel more like a plot device than a character.

>>82638641
He's also homeless and has to crash at other peoples places. Even fucking Radagast has a house

>>82638750
he is not a character, he is a power, a will so to speak that will fuck everything up if not stopped. I like it.

>>82638561
Definitions of these words have changed over the years, and have been interchangeable in some times.

>>82638759
Jesus, no wonder nobody wants to hear Gandalf's doomsaying. Dude's a fucking loser


wtf was Tolkien thinkin making him the """hero""""?!?

>>82638759
>>82638641
>smokes weed(s)
>hangs around with people who are way younger than him all the time
>drifts from place to place and crashes on other peoples places
>gives dangerous fireworks to little people and children
>dresses like a hobo
>constantly rambles about peace, love and how everyone is being oppressed by the "evil boogeyman" and how we have to fight him

Gandalf is basically a Hippy

>>82638759
Most the istari didn't settle, Radagast only settled cos he wanted to watch over mirkwood and Saruman settled because he got the rights to orthanc and the palantir.

>>82638907
>Gandalf is basically a Hippy

And Sauron is a capitalistic industrialist

Sauron was the good guy all along

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>>82638907
>fireworks
WAIT A MINUTE!
gandalf obviously knew about blackpowder and saruman was always the more knowledgeable and technological minded of the two, so Gandalf probably got the recept from him, or they both got it from elsewhere. How could Gandalf not think about saruman being able to blow up walls? How was he so surprised about the wall blowing up?

>>82636824
>black numenoreans

>implying tolkien would make men that were basically mortal elves minus the pointy ears black when orcs goblins etc are basically Africans

>>82639049
>>>/pol/

>>82639025
>>>/reddit/

orcs being nigs is obvious

>>82639049
bait, but they are white, they have the same ancestors as Aragorn.

The Mouth of Sauron, the guy who hands Frodo's mithril mail at the Black Gate, is one of them. No idea why they made him so monstrous and weird, probably because it would have confused viewers if he had looked too human and normal.

>>82636474
Sea of Nurn is fertile, I assume that Easternlings and Haradrim had to send supplies as tribute too.

Most of the Orcs were rag-tag pieces of shit surviving on their own though, I assume only the men, black uruks, uruk hai, and morannon orcs actually got fed since they're the only ones who were bred for war. All the others were used as undisciplined expendable starving fodder, they didn't even get any armor or weapons and had to get whatever they could scavenge.

>>82639049
orcs are niggers, black numenoreans are race traitors who realized they'll be dealing with literal subhumans for the rest of their lives

>>82639025
they got it from numenor

>>82637174
wasnt the ungoliant some creepy outside the universe void entity that melkor convinced to come into middle earth and get some delicious light then took on the form of a huge spider fast forward to it attacking melkor and actually being able to hurt him it fucks off after getting driven away by loads of balrogs and starts having crazy sex with spiders and that how you get shelob

>>82639049
They're called "black" because they're evil, not because they're niggers.

>>82639713
well...

>>82639713
so you're saying black people are evil?
that's even more racist than what the other guy said

>>82639811
how is that racist?

>>82636697
Nigga turkish nomads kept sheep for wool and meat also they traded when they didn't raid.

>>82637277
Wasn't Feanor Galadriel's uncle or something? Lewd desu.

>>82637174

aragorn was fine

>>82639811
They're not niggers at all.

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>>82639860
yeah

>>82637714
>>82637748

/fit/ is goat tier, but you really need to have been exercising in a gym for some time to get them

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>>82639651
>"Ungoliant looked like a spider, but HUUGE, also she was no spider, actually she was a void/darkness spirit. Original character, pls don't steal" -J.R.R. Martin

>>82639811
yes they are

>>82637306
>Arwen

>>82639905
Tolkien is probably the biggest hack ever, he literally stole all his stuff from public domain myths

>>82639651
So Stephen King It is the Ungoliant?

So I am doing a project for school on cucks in fiction and I was wondering if you guys could tell me if LOTR has any cucks in it, and if so who is the biggest cuck?

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BUT NOTHING CAN BREACH IT

>>82640178
Faramir who took Erowyn after she was ISILDURED
And Aragorn who married Arwen who was 3000 years older and had took as much as three million elve cocks
They were the only men to ever marry a non virgin in the history of Middle Earth

>>82640254
Bane will breach it

>>82640325
We are talking about the Gates of Minas Tirith and not your mom's vagina here

>>82640178
Turin cucks someone when he fucks his sister, I think.

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>>82637174
aww poor Melkor, pls go away

>>82640370
actually my mom's nickname was "minis Tirith" because she could only be breached by orcs

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>>82640178
The destruction of the greatest city ever built in Middle-earth was caused by a cuck elf named Maeglin who was angry about being cucked and so betrayed the city.

>>82640289
>>82640386
>>82640445
Thanks guys, this is exactly what I was looking for. Looks like I have some reading to do.

>>82640386
Actually Turin cucks someone by fucking HIS OWN sister
Its cuck-incest, doesnt get any worse

>>82640386
>>82640178
yes, he also cucks Gwindor
turin was quite the bull

>>82637623
>Wendy's chef
>not talking about the size of your penis

FRAUD ALERT!

>>82640542
>penis
>not being the master gender

pffft

>>82640289
>3000 years older
>three million elve cocks
Wait, she fucker over 1000 guys a year? 3 every day?

>>82640666
what do you think elves they do all day if not orgies?

>>82640666
It's bullshit slander, Arwen and Eowyn were pure.

These are true though >>82640492
>>82640445

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>>82637926
Then who will be his slaves who worship him by building temples, making statues, lewd fanfics and arts?

>>82637090
>we aren't even postig sexy Sauron fanart
Agreed, this thread is garbage.

>>82637174
At least you have a qt3.14 Maia bf which is way more than 99.99999999% of the Multiverse gets

>>82640325
kill yourself

>>82638365
Why did he stay in Barad-Dur and not walk out through the Black Gate instead of the Mouth reee

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>>82640178
Basically all of Tolkien's body of work is about cucking. He is one of the biggest cucks among fantasy writers. The hottest chick in the history of his universe has an interracial relationship. He tried to pretend he self-inserts as her bull but it's pretty obvious he self-inserts as the elves she cucked.

>>82640492
I know, that's exactly what I meant.
>>82640445
Oh shit, I totally forgot about that faggot.

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>>82640497
>Túrin was admitted in the Elven realm thanks to Gwindor, but now Gwindor was worn out and did not have the power he once had before his capture. "Agarwaen" (Túrin's name while he stayed there) gained much influence among the Elves of Nargothrond and even Finduilas fell in love with him, a fact that Gwindor accepted without bitterness for Túrin. Believing that Finduilas would save Túrin from his fate, Gwindor revealed Agarwaen's identity to Finduilas, while he tried to persuade Túrin to return her feelings.
>a fact that Gwindor accepted without bitterness for Túrin
>he tried to persuade Túrin to return her feelings

>>82638341
>that russian lotr book
But it wouldn't fit, it's a revisionist 'Sauron a good boy, didn't do nuffin' take, both of them

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>>82640871
>Elves are cuks
Whoa, alert the media!

>>82636800
This is seriously the best post in the entire thread.

>>82637797
Not only a president, but the president of the most powerful country that has ever existed in the history or mankind.

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Where are the female dwarves in LOTR universe?

>>82641202
they look like the male ones, so you don't recognise them

>>82641235
What about their names?

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>>82640178
Fäënor

>>82637143
>mechanised farms

Sauron definitely taxed the merchandise sold at these types of business's. If anyone was wondering what his tax policies were regarding privately owned businesses or LLC's - here's a great example.

>>82640871
Dont forget the elf in Doriath that was completely into him but he completely friendzoned her and that other elf-dude that was his rival and made him strip naked and chased him around the forest until he fell off a cliff

Oh and the Lesser-Dwarf (Mim?) that killed his son and then forced him to let him use his house as a hideout

>>82641192
Too bad all positions in the US government were stripped of all power and influence in 2010.

>>82641253
>gimli-chan
>Torin-chan
really Tolkien?
sigh

>>82640789
Its not about that you idiot
Its about elves being hypocritic faggots
>elf makes a daughter with a literal godess
>gets mad when said daughter wants to bundle up with "a lesser being"

Shame shit with Elrodn

>>82641441
ehhh
there is a difference between choosing a divine being as your waifu - and your daughter deciding that she feels experimental and suddenly has a fetish for mortal midgets

>>82636533
He meant the other Orcs

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>>82641357
i really felt sorry for Mim, but he was a cunt and he and his son were the last of their kind anyway

>>82641441
I bet Ainur didn't feel especially good about Melian cucking them either. The fact that she's the only Maia in history that does it pretty much shows what the other Ainur think of such degeneracy.

>>82641593
>>82641536
Probably Tolkien projecting his bitterness over some pretentious half-"noble" faggot cockblocking him from a girl he liked

>>82636474
>There is no arable land in mordor
Yes, there is.

>>82640178
tell me more about your project...
what do you have so far, what class, and do you think it will be well recieved?

>>82636900
>Jackson didn't bother with it
Which is a good thing. It would have slowed the movies down.

>>82641593

>Melian served Vána and Estë.
>Estë had the power to heal all hurts and weariness.
>Like her sister, Vána had influence with the flora and fauna of Middle-earth, "all flowers spring as she passes and open if she glances upon them; and all birds sing at her coming.

Yeeeaahh... this was bound to happen

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>>82637055
>considered one of the most important works of English literature in the 20th century
>for teenagers

>>82638503
Because Gandalf was a timid soul that begged to not be sent to middle earth with the other istari because he was afraid he lacked the strength and resolve to do what needed to be done.
When he met the hobbits he saw that although they were small and weak and were outclassed by literally everything else in middle earth, they still faced adversity with their heads held high with an admirable ammount of pluck and good nature.
If hobbits could face the unknown with that kind of grace then he had no right to balk at the challenges that beset him. He didn't use his powers for his own gain, he used it to protect all those that lacked the ability but not the courage.
When asked what Gandalf sees in the halflings he simply responds that they give him courage.
Tolkien was a devout Catholic, and wove those themes into the tapestry of middle earth. Humility and empathy are some of the highest virtues.
Based Cirdan saw all of this when the istari arrived in the grey havens, and that it why he gave gandalf his ring of power, which was able to kindle hope and courage in the hearts of good beings. It created a feedback loop with him, as those around him rallied round the faintest glimmer of hope, it forced him into doing everything he could to protect that hope.
Its literally all there in the book.

>>82637004
Best reply

>>82637386
I tried posting there a few times. I can't figure out why /lit/ attracts so many moralfags or christfags.

>>82639049
Do you ever get tired of being a meme spouting retard? Do you think your family is proud of you?

>>82641880
>>considered one of the most important works of English literature in the 20th century

By teenagers.

>>82642105
>hur durr teenagers
Sorry that it is on a reading level above your IQ, kid. No need to be jealous.

>>82642139
>reading genre fiction
>high IQ

ahahaha

>>82642139
You're getting baited

>>82642155
>REEEEE GENRE FICTION ALL BAD OMG LITERALLY SHAKING
>>>/lit/

>>82636474
iirc tolkien wasn't very happy with how he handled the orcs and later in life wanted to change the orc society into a more structured and three dimensional one. unfortunately he didn't live long enough to do so.

>>82642178
I am aware.

>>82641892
beautiful

>>82642139
don't take the retard bait, they're just mad more attention has gone into a series of comfy LOTR threads today than any of of their cunny, blacked or consolewar capeshit screeching, the threads that are actually killing this place.

>>82642245
>consolewar
Do you think you are on /v/? Don't say you play fucking video games

>this is the type of ""adult"" that thinks LotR is sophisticated
AHAHAHAHAHA

>>82641892
...breh

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>>82642279

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How did /tv/ like Martin Freeman as Bilbo?

>>82641892
Solid answer

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ad0kY3b6ri4

>inb4 "Hobbit"
Its a word for word quote from the books, although I believe it was in LotR rather than Hobbit

Can someone red pill me on how orcs are made/reproduce? Were they bred or simply created

>>82642345
He would have been good if everything else about the movies hadn't been awful

>>82638641
>pedo loser stoner
>race traitor slut
>singing autist hippie
>batshit insane hobo who talks to animals
>Sauron copycat with a shittier tower and a gay two-tone beard
>two literally who faggots in blue cloaks
Middle-Earth Maia are such trash apart from Sauron, who is best Maia

>>82642387
Corrupted Elves, as simple as that.
And they reproduce the same way.

>>82642345
If you watch the fan-cut, (pretty much only bilbo scenes) he is pretty good
He just got buried under all the other rancid shit this movies had

>>82637174
all these plebians think this refers to Sauron.

Good lord.

>>82642482
>having autism

>>82642482
>not recognising bait

>>82642455
>>82642401
What about Smaug?

>>82642482
lel, this, keked hard when no one knew it refers to Tommy Bomba Dildo

>>82642561
Oversized but I get it
Chase with golden statue a shit
Rest pretty solid

>>82639049

READ
THE
BOOK

>>82636800
Holy shit ty anon

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>>82642482

>>82637797
A reddit tier president. Shame!

>>82642654
stop trying to turn this into some shitty pickle rick meme

>>82638057

I am now dumber having read this post. I award you no upboats and may God have mercy on your soul.

>>82636474
>There is no arable land in mordor
Wrong.

>>82640445
the artwork for Gondor never ceases to make me happy.

>>82636800
good point

>>82642345
I honestly thought he was great; there's only so much you can do when you're in a trilogy as poor as The Hobbit though unfortunately.

>>82643734
>Gondor

>>82636800
I'm loving it

>>82638503
pretty country, good food, limited egos to deal with, pipe weed

>>82640901
there are two?

and that's what I'm saying; it would be cool if some fans made it work.

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>>82637714
anon, youre on the board with the best memes...

>>82639400

Orcs are corrupted elves. They go to the halls of mandos when they die. They are immortal.

Also, Hobbits are a sub-race of men. Numenor is atlantis, and the world was flat until numenor attacked heaven.

>>82641892
I'm crying

>>82644255
Orcs are corrupted humans

>>82644302
That's not possible because orcs existed before men woke.

They are elves corrupted by melkor. Uruk-hai are cross-breeds that are also immortal.

Illuvatar gave mortality to Man alone.

>>82644255
>>82644302
>>82644350
Tolkien first thought about orcs coming from corrupted elves, but it didnt go well with other themes, and atvthe end of his life he leaned towards orcs coming from men and beasts, but it didnt work with the timeline and ultimately he died before finishing origin story of orcs that would satisfy him. Christopher kept orcs fron elves story in Silnarilion because he didnt want roto mess with tinelines, but you have to remember that Tolkien wanted to change it.

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>Tolkienverse isnt real

WHAT
THE
FUCK

HOW

2spooky

>>82644507
I know all of that. But he didn't change it.

He also didn't release all of quenya, the asshole.

>>82637456
>Melkor was forever jelly that he wasn't able to create on his own, only corrupt.
except he created most magnificent race on Arda
Dragons!

>>82644758
desu

>>82644758
He didn't create those. He twisted spirits, like with the Balrog.

Melkor by definition could not create. he could only usurp. Aule was the only Vala who created life.

>>82644856
he could, just like Aule created gnomes so did morgoth and and did not twisted any spirit when he was creating dragons

>>82644897
this
Get school'd lad

>>82644897
Aule was basically the god of crafting and creation. He had that ability, none other did save Illuvatar itself.

Melkor was destruction, evil. The pure evil that cannot ever be rid from the world. The snake in the garden. Something like that cannot ever create anything.

>>82644897
Also, Aule created the first Dwarves, not Gnomes.

>>82644856
Morgoth created dragons bud. They aren't ainur like Balrogs were.

>>82644980
and morgoth shared all gifts of his brothers including Aule and was most powerful between them

>>82645039
this again
Get school'd twice lad

let me school him next time pls

>>82645021
>>82645039

The Silmarillion never says he created them. At most it says he Bred them. From lesser creatures or from evil beings from the void, like Ungoliant.

>>82645168
ALSO

AT MOST Melkor created those evil things when he sung his part of the song of creation. But that's as far as i'm willing to go.

>>82636760
This. Nurn is actually fertile. The only fertile land around.

>>82645224
Bullshit. Creatures like Ungoliant weren't made by any Vala. Ungoliant is a creation of the void itself. So again, you're wrong.

>>82645150
it Never said that! wtf it is never mentioned that he breed dragon from creatures of void he probably either used that song of creation or he used some black sorcery

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>>82636474
>where do they get the wheat?
I'll tell ya

>>82645168
>>82645224
Everything in Arda are "part Morgoth"
Also it is mentioned that Morgoth became weaker himself in order to "breed", as you want, the dragons
They are massively powerful beings, comparable or even surpassing Maiars, they have too much Morgoth in them to not be considered his creation

>>82644758
>except he created most magnificent race on Arda
>Dragons!
He corrupted cold drakes, which were big lizards from the north into dragons.
The whole thing about Melkor/morgoth is that despite being the most powerfull and willfull of all the Valar he was unable to create anything of his own, only corrupt and pervert the creations of others. He spent so much time brooding on that fact that he was diminished as his power just bled off into middle earth itself.

so is wheat manmade or Melkor-made?

>>82645466
Bullshit

>>82644897
>Aule created gnomes
He created them but they lacked the flame. Eru took pity on Aule and granted them true life.

>>82645387
You can thank me for the survival of this meme my nigga.

>>82645456
To further explain what I am saying, dragons ARE Morgoth, like, semi-autonomous drones, if you excuse my analogy

>>82644980
>Something like that cannot ever create anything
What you said is basically right. It's a play on Lucifer. I think I've read in Malleus Maleficarum that the devil/demons can't create anything which is a common theme here, they can only reshape and corrupt what already exists.

>>82645531
so are dragons they lack flame as well they only serve will of morgoth

>>82645543
Wheat is a man-made plant.

>>82645344
There was literally nothing before the song. Melkor's discord made the dark creatures in the void.

>>82645456
Yes and the Balrogs were stronger than the Maiar would normally be so he probably used his power on them as well, but they were corrupted fire spirits, not creations of his own.

BEING UNABLE TO CREATE ANYTHING OF HIS OWN IS CENTRAL TO HIS ROLE IN THE UNIVERSE AND IN MYTHIC FICTION IN GENERAL.

MELKOR IS SATAN.

>>82644507
>Tolkien first thought about orcs coming from corrupted elves,
If we want to go full autism Tolkien's first thought about orcs was they were just made by Melkor. Only later did he decide that Melkor wouldn't be able to create intelligent life, only corrupt it.

Though actually even later he still played around with the idea of the orcs just being creations by saying maybe the orc intelligence was just an extension of Melkor's own being (even when the orcs did shit like desert Melkor!) but he ultimately decided against it.

>>82645531
>>82645620

You are missing the point

>>82645566
>Sauron
>Not even Valar
>Creates a FUCKING INANIMATE OBJECT
>Has "a will of its own"

>>82645531
No they were proper alive but Illuvatar didn't want them waking before anything he made, and he certainly didn't give them mortality like he did to Men.

>>82645581
LOTR and the Silmarillion are a blending of all of Western Mythology. It's our history, fictional or not.

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>>82645592
It's not.

>>82645675
Its will was that of sauron's. It had no other will.

>>82641892
truly he is /ourguy/

>>82636824
I thought they were northerns in the witch king rts game.

what kind of genetic engineering did the Numenorians do on wheat?

>Invite Elves to Valinor to protect them from Melkor
>Parole Melkor and let him fuck in Valinor to fuck with the Elves

Valar are pretty dumb.

>>82645731
Yes, but it was technically "alive" wasnt it?
Now extrapolate that on the most powerful Valar of all
There are your dragons

>>82645620
no he is not satan toklien said that there is no satan and god in Silmarillion, also Vala was able to create but yavana created ents manwe created eagles i guess Aule created dwarfs and morgoth created Dragons. only thing they lack aside from eru's creations was will of their own. they where besically doing master willing

>>82645675
>Has "a will of its own"
It has sauron's will. Its a piece of him that he put into the one ring that was an anchor to middle earth itself.

>>82644220
There are three actually, last time I checked. I mean three maxi Tolkien fics with sort of a mainstream acclaim among fantasy nerds. They've even been published traditionally, i.e. theoretically the authors made a profit (if a small one, given the rampant piracy in Russia). Idk what ol' Chris has to say about this and if he even knows.

One is sort of an origins story about Melkor and Sauron. There are also a bunch of OCs - elves who allied with them. I tried to read it as a teenager, but don't remember much, apart from it being kinda emo and gay. Despite Sauron having a female love interest or rather, stalker. Understandable since it's written by two women. The style is flowery and together with the MC's interactions it gives off a pretty fujo vibe, but when confronted the authoresses went full moralfag and like to preach how it is all NO HOMO and what a disgusting sick fuck everyone who ships the duo is, because it's 'like incest'. Sauron also has some pretty corny and stupid lines in this (but overall he's pretty moe), and those became something of a meme, kinda like baneposting of the oldfag Russian Tolkien fandom.

The second one is set in LoTR timeline, in Mordor which is industrial, and the premise is basically this >>82638966 but unironically. I haven't read it so I don't even know if Sauron has some character moments in it, or is pretty much off-screen like in LoTR.

The third one, btw, about Beren and Luthien. But it isn't revisionist to my knowledge, just a more detailed take on the legend.

I don't know if anyone has attempted to translate any of them into English.

>>82645724
It is, fucking wheat-denialists sicken me.

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>>82645829
>Feanor calm down
>Nobody wants to steal your Silmarils Feanor
>You dont NEED a sword Feanor
>You are paranoid Feanor

>FEANOR
>HEY FEANOR
>YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED

>>82645466
very first Dragon tolkien said was Glaurung father of all dragons and was created by Morgoth

>>82637585

No they weren't, the Uruk Hai were bred by Sauron and were "pure" orc, the Half Orcs were bred by Saruman and are unrelated to the Uruk Hai.

>>82645836
>they where besically doing master willing
But morgoth was pissed Glaurung revealed himself too early?

>>82645834
>Yes, but it was technically "alive" wasnt it?
Not in the sense, no. It was a large part of sauron's soul. That was the will.

>>82645812
>what kind of genetic engineering did the Numenorians do on wheat?
They were rewarded with longer life and the isle of numenor (right next to heaven) for helping in a battle.

They squandered it.

>>82645836
>no he is not satan toklien said that there is no satan and god in Silmarillion

Got a source?

>also Vala was able to create but yavana created ents manwe created eagles
That was their specific purpose in creation.

>i guess Aule created dwarfs
He did that as a side project because his job was to create the lands and whatnot.

>and morgoth created Dragons
Nope. bred them from lesser beings or corrupted Salamander fire spirits, like he did to Sauron and the Balrogs.

>>82645926
CT knows at least about the one about "The Last Ringbearer" (the one about industrial Mordor doing nothing wrong) since I believe he's threatened a lawsuit anyone who publishes an English translation. If he ever even bothered going after them in Russia then he would have the same success as anyone else trying to enforce copyright in that country.

>>82638503
he knew they were holding some dank shit

>>82636824
I love these maps

>>82646024
>It was a large part of sauron's soul. That was the will.
Yeah lad, thats what dragons were too

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>>82645531
no, they were alive, which pissed off eru. So Aule wanted/had to destroy them (the dwarfes hid in fear (a sign of being alive)) until eru showed mercy, but eru put them back to sleep so that his chosen people would be the first to wake

>>82645932
>literally shown a picture of the wild wheat crossbred with other wild wheat for larger yields
Can you not do reverse google searches you dumb faggot?

did Numenor export a lot of wheat, and how were their exports taxed?

>>82646008
i dont quite get that can you remind me?

>>82645472
Wheat is Sauron-made. He used to work with Aule and Yavanna, so he knows about agriculture and stuff.

>>82646005
i don't know fuck-all about the Lord Of The Rings, but i know the fighting Uruk Hai were made by Saruman, not Sauron.
you are wrong

>>82646062
Very small part, as with the Balrogs, and probably Carcharoth too.

But you're just proving my point.

>>82646077
Modern wheat is man-made through selective breeding, just stop dude.

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>>82641309
t. Fingolfin

>>82646063
They only hid in fear because Eru granted mercy and then gave them souls.

>>82646024
>like he did to Sauron and the Balrogs.
Balrog and Sauron were maiar, but the rallied to Melkor's side. Theyre fallen angel analogues.

>>82646118
That's in the movie, not in the books. Saruman doesn't make a new species in the books.

All advanced agriculture knowledge came from the Ent-wives who unlike the Ents who preferred wild forests, liked to cultivate gardens and taught others how to grow until Sauron killed them all

>>82646136
>we crossbreed already existing species of wheat
>with other wheat and grass
>to get bigger wheat
>"man made"

>>82646063
Nothing happens that Eru wasnt already aware of. Its the whole point of Ainulindalë and the three themes.

>>82646235
He does though. Because the Orcs from Mordor don't like the weird new orcs that saruman made. It's in the Two Towers, it's how pippin and merry escape the orcs.

>>82646246
Shut up Melian, noone likes your Lembas cakes and you abandoned your subjects to death and ruin
Fuck you Melian

>>82646246
did ents make wheat?

>>82646246
>until Sauron killed them all
NO
NO!
they are just lost and one day the ents are going to find them!!
and they will be happy!!
fuck you!

what was the point of elves fleeing middle earth instead of fighting? they get resurected in valinor anyways

>>82646276
>we domesticate wolves
>breed them to get only wolves that obey and don't rip their master apart
>fast-forward thousands of years
>chihuahuas are not man-made
:^)

>>82646276
Yeah.

>take protons and neutrons that already existed
>make a chair

>(((man-made)))

>>82646304
Ehh he is right here, technically he doesnt, he just crossbreeds them

>>82646304
Yeah bud, I'm saying Saruman doesn't make them at all in the books. The movies only assume he breeds them, not CREATE them.

>>82646169
they hid in fear cuz Aule raised his mace

>>82646304
Uruks exist in Mordor too and also bully the smaller Orcs there. There were introduced by Sauron hundreds of years before the Fellowship,

>>82646333
>comparing simple cultivation of pre-existing plants
>to generational trait/gene selections of wolves over time
1. Shitty example
2. Neither are "man made"

They were growing mushrooms in the caves

if Sauron was a werewolf, does this mean wolves and dogs are both Melkor-made?

>>82646338
They aren't man made if they already exist in nature you dumb retard.

Imagine if you applied the inverse logic to plastic.

>>82646394
>to generational trait/gene selections of wolves over time
Replace "wolves" by "wheat" and this is PRECISELY what we have done. Wheat from 10 thousand years ago would look nothing like what we cultivate today.

>>82646431
>if Sauron was a werewolf
He wasnt
He just liked to larp as a furry

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>did humans create dogs, or did they just corrupt or twist something that already existed?
>did humans create the wheel, or did they just corrpt and twist something that already existed (wood and metal)?
>did humans create automobiles....

every fucking time

>>82646431
he is not he could just take shape of it, he could also take shape of vampire or elflike

>>82646354
Yes and if they were stills automatons of Aule they couldn't act against his will by doing so. Eru gave them souls however so they were afraid.