>Let's just put some of the fucking life tree essence

>>82349127
It was a great idea. All the problems were caused by them being too great.

>>82349127

Fingolfin>Feanor

>>82349251
>Feanor creates the Silmarils
>Fingolfin cripples Satan
>Finarfin does...uh...I guess his kids were cool

>>82349251

No shit. This doesn't even need to be debated.

>One makes some faggy jewels and kills his kin
>One permanently wounds a fucking god

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>>82349644

Balls of fucking steel

>>82349127
>be Feanor
>make the most beautiful gems ever in all of existence
>so beautiful Satan himself comes to steal them
>get mad, swear the most terrible oath that will ever be sworn in the history of the world
>former allies and friends are like "cool down bro, you're not thinking straight"
>kill them and steal their boats
>cross the ocean, get to the other side and burn the boats because this train has no brakes
>takes my entire people on a rampage all the way to the gates of Angband
>personally fight my way so deep into the enemy ranks I end up soloing nine Balrogs at once
>finally get struck down by Gothmog, lord of Balrogs
>my (many) children carry my dying body from the battlefield
>make them swear they nor their children nor their children's children will rest until we get those fucking gems
>set fire and blow away as ashes on the breeze as I die because of how FUCKING ANGRY I AM

MADMAN
A
D
M
A
N

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Who do we cast to play him in his inevitable biopic?

>>82349971
Unknown.

No one fits his personality or carries the weight required.

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>>82349127
>oaths

Can you imagine Jackson directing an obligatory trilogy for Silmarillion? It would be abominable.

I don't really get the comparisons to Martin either. Martin talking about how he's conversant with Tolkien is strange. Their works may be intertextual, but beyond that I think the chasm of modernity to post-modernity/contemporary creates a considerable difference. Does Martin even have a palpable creation mythology? Martin seems to be more concerned with eschatology than genesis.

How big was the biggest dragon Arda ever saw

>>82349971
DDW or


Idris Elba

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>>82350138

They could maybe do some shit on Túrin, but for the most part it would be a disaster. Jackson lost his touch.

Also, the rights to make movies out of the silmarillion were bought like last year I think.

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>>82350161

>>82350161
BIG

Ancalagon the Black crushed Mountains when he was killed.

>>82350291
Looks like about a mile wing span? Wasn't anca described as bigger than a mountain though?

>>82350259
Agreed. I have yet to see the third hobbit film for this reason

>>82350338
It's hard to watch.

Some scenes- the White Council fight with the Nazguls are good.

But it's soo over the top and not in a good way.

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>>82350338

The first one was enough shit for me

>>82350419
I've heard it's just a literal anime tier, DBZ CGI action shit fest. It also messes up on continuity and has goofs...I wanted to like it so much, but the second one soured me on the trilogy

>>82350454
Muh Dwarf Feast/ food scenes.

Saw it whilst I was ill and it made my stomach hurt.

>>82350335
How was he kill then? Nuke?

>>82350454
Agreed...the 1977 animated hobbit is infinitely better. It preserves the musicality of the novel as well. It doesn't forget that it was YA/Juvenile fiction first. That's not a bad thing either. Some of the most beloved stories are ones written for children. I'm thinking of the Little Prince, but it's certainly debatable what audience that is for

>>82350507
Yeah. It's how I imagine anime is.
>Haven't watched anime.


I didn't go to the cinema for BOT5A because of DOS.

>>82350613
I hear ya. I don't watch much anime. I did when I was younger, but I've heard the action is beyond ridiculous even for a fantasy film

>>82350291
Hasn't this image been proven wrong multiple times?

>>82350291
Someone should do this but with character's penises

>>82350590
Left to your imagination.
Literally a sentence describes him.

>>82350675
It is. CGI is shit. Battle tactics is shit.
It's awful.

Elves leap over dwarves.

>>82350590
A Half Elf in a spaceship.

>>82350259
>Also, the rights to make movies out of the silmarillion were bought like last year I think.
No they fucking weren't. Christopher Tolkien ain't ever giving those away.

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>>82350684

It probably is an exaggeration, but Ancalagon was described as being larger than mountains.

>>82350684
It exaggerates a lot. None of the dragon sizes in the Legendarium are outright stated or confirmed. Some believe they were actually quite small, some believe they were quite large. Personally I believe pic related is accurate.

Remember that it took all the birds of Middle Earth to take down the Dragons and Thorondor actually has a confirmed size.

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>>82350915
the pic

>>82350877
If you call a fatty, as fat as a cow, that doesn't mean they are literally as big as a cow.

Didn't the Numenorians have machine guns and airplanes and shit?

>>82351035

>Stop believing the author

>>82350955
even that makes glaurung and up seen far too massive, when you consider glaurung was killed by a stab from a normal length sword, be like a pin prick at that scale.

Reading the wikipedia articles of the Tolkeinverse is more entertaining than anything Tolkein ever wrote. How can you make such a great universe, but present it in the most boring way possible?

>tfw a LOTR thread comes along when you need it.

Ok bros, here's the thing. I'm hosting a LOTR D&D game for some friends of mine set in the Kin-strife. Looks like not a ton has been written on it, so I'm able to have some leeway when it comes to writing. Can we talk about the kin-strife and how Eldacar and Castamir ruined everything?

I also wouldn't mind some what-if scenarios since my PCs want to play both sides of the conflict.

>>82351145
Yeah. I meant that the pic gives an accurate estimate of Ancalagon. I don't believe that Glaurung was larger than Smaug. But Túrin did use Gurthang, which seems to have some special abilities. Glaurung did also decimate the Elven/Men/Dwarven armies before the Dwarves fucked him up.

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>I'll just go ahead and eat this glowing ball of fire this guy is holding, what could possibly go wrong?

Oh, silly Carcharoth.

>>82351106
>Númenórean alchemists discovered black powder while searching for the Elixir of Life; this accidental discovery led to experiments in the form of weapons such as bombs, grenades, incendiary fire arrows and rocket-propelled fire arrows during the reign of Ar-Pharazon. Development of incendiary weapons increased dramatically when Ar-Pharazôn was building his Great Armament with Sauron. Among many inventions were a timed grenade that flung out hundreds of metal shards upon explosion, and a machine capable of firing many arrows at once

>"Númenóreans spent much of their time contriving ships that should rise above the waters of the world and hold to the imagined seas. And these ships, flying, came also to the lands of the new world, and to the east of the old world; and they reported that the world was round. Men of Middle-earth looked up with fear and wonder seeing the Númenóreans that descended out of the sky; and they took these mariners of the air to be gods, and some of the Númenóreans were content that this should be so."

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>>82351417

The Silmarillion ends up being quite similar to the bible, not in the respect of Melkor being Lucifer and such, but in the whole genealogy aspect, the bible does that with the jews, Tolkien does with the elves. It really is the only thing I find utterly boring, specially since elves are immortal so when one of them suddenly shows up later on Tolkien doesn't bother reintroducing them since he already did with genealogy trees a few chapters back.

>>82351527
>reported that the world was round.
Lolwhat. Arda was made round after Numenor was destroyed.

>>82351417
Well that's a valid point.

but the books are still great. The book (Sil) really captures your imagination and a wikipedia article can't capture that same feeling I don't think.

>>82351527
I don't what the fuck this is supposed to be a quote of, but it sure ain't Tolkien.

>>82351592
Who the fuck is this Fin "another fucking elf" ?

Oh it's that guy, appeared for one scene and not heard from for years/chapters.

You are allowed to look at the glossary and look it up, it's encouraged.

>>82351614
>>82351717

It's a quote from The History of Middle Earth: Sauron Defeated
Blame Christopher Tolkien

>>82349251
>literally so mad his hundred year siege was broken he goes "1v1 me fagit u won't" to literally Satan
>Satan is actually scared of how angry the elf king is but can't back down lest he looks bad in front of his minions
>he beats him but not before Fingolfin stabs and cripples him for all eternity in his leg laughing in his fucking face even as he dies
>Satan is constantly reminded of his unwanted duel thanks to constant leg pain and a crippled walk

Fingolfin was the realest nigga

>>82349763
1V1 ME MID LANE FAGGOT U WONT

>>82349810
Everyone here writes the events of the silmarillion better than tolkien

I want to read it but its so fucking boring

>>82349810
>>82352043
Eru just don't make elves like he used too...

>>82352121
he wrote it the absolute plebman

>>82352121
I don't get you. Maybe listen to the audiobook? Martin Shaw makes it really enjoyable to listen to.

>>82352121
No it's just condensed.

It's like eating the icing on the cake or finding the screencaps of greentext. They are the best for a reason.

Nothing tops Tolkien.

It's just that the presentation is cut down and accessible without needing to read many pages and understanding it.

Some parts of the book are boring, there a pages detailing forests/ridges/paths in certain areas and it's unnecessary. But the story is worth it.

It's like a TV show- once the show builds up to a point and the payoff comes you realise it's worth it.

>>82349810
>>82352043
Why we're all the elves in the movies such faggots?

>>82352121

The silmarillion is just a collection of stories. An anthology.

Read it in bursts, you fucking brainlet.

>>82352338
Like modern times, they haven't had to face anything nearly as bad as war with Melkor.

Sauron wasn't quite as destructive as him so it was relatively peaceful.

>>82352338
Their time was over. Sauron wins = they die, or have to leave. Sauron is defeated, and the ring is destroyed = the three rings lose their power, they can't preserve middle earth anymore and the weariness gets to them (they have to leave).

>>82351962
No it isn't.

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>>82352121
u fucking wot m8.

>Now news came to Hithlum that Dorthonion was lost and the sons of Finarfin overthrown, and that the sons of Fëanor were driven from their lands. Then Fingolfin beheld (as it seemed to him) the utter ruin of the Noldor, and the defeat beyond redress of all their houses; and filled with wrath and despair he mounted upon Rochallor his great horse and rode forth alone, and none might restrain him. He passed over Dor-nu-Fauglith like a wind amid the dust, and all that beheld his onset fled in amaze, thinking that Oromë himself was come: for a great madness of rage was upon him, so that his eyes shone like the eyes of the Valar. Thus he came alone to Angband's gates, and he sounded his horn, and smote once more upon the brazen doors, and challenged Morgoth to come forth to single combat. And Morgoth came.

>That was the last time in those wars that he passed the doors of his stronghold, and it is said that he took not the challenge willingly; for though his might was greatest of all things in this world, alone of the Valar he knew fear. But he could not now deny the challenge before the face of his captains; for the rocks rang with the shrill music of Fingolfin's horn, and his voice came keen and clear down into the depths of Angband; and Fingolfin named Morgoth craven, and lord of slaves. Therefore Morgoth came, climbing slowly from his subterranean throne, and the rumour of his feet was like thunder underground. And he issued forth clad in black armour; and he stood before the King like a tower, iron-crowned, and his vast shield, sable on-blazoned, cast a shadow over him like a stormcloud. But Fingolfin gleamed beneath it as a star; for his mail was overlaid with silver, and his blue shield was set with crystals; and he drew his sword Ringil, that glittered like ice.

>>82350138
Using big words doesn't make you sound smart, you know. It just makes you look like a pretentious faggot

>>82352604
He is right though.

>>82352604

>Big words
>American """education""

>>82352604
were you desperate to bump the thread or did you really think that was a substantive comment that you were just desperate to get out

>>82352604
he's being efficient but still not saying much

dont get so offended buh duh wuhds

>>82351962
>>82352534

Yes it is, read the ebook and see for yourself

http://www.e-reading.club/bookreader.php/138987/Tolkien_09_Sauron_Defeated.pdf

Wasn't Simarillion just a collection of random stories Tolkien had laying about that his son put together into a "history of Middle-Earth" type narrative?

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>>82352574

>Fingolfin thinks so high of himself he challenges Melkor to a duel.
>Melkor, not wanting to look like a bitch in front of his whole kingdom, accepts.
>Not only does Melkor wins, he shatters Fingolfin's corpse.
>The scar Melkor ends up with from this duel had to be by, of course, the eagles, who showed up to pick up Fingolfin's corpse and scratched Melkor on the way out.

Why does is Fingolfin's duel always presented as some epic fight for the ages if he died like a bitch?

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>>82350291

http://www.rollingstone.com/tv/news/george-r-r-martin-the-rolling-stone-interview-20140423

I think he was referring to this interview. During it, GRRM complains about genocide and taxation and morality, etc. Can you imagine Tolkien dealing with taxation and public works? As much as I like Tolkien's works, there are a few passages that could be truncated about rolling hills and knolls. Having read and translated more Livy and Ab Urbe Condita than I'd ever want to again, I'd imagine it'd be much the same for Tolkien writing about taxation. Who wants to read grainary reports? Is GRRM delusional? That's not fiction.

>>82353056
>As much as I like Tolkien's works, there are a few passages that could be truncated about rolling hills and knolls

I love those parts because they remind me of my hometown.

>>82352986
Selling it short.

They weren't random stories.

They were parts of the same mythos that Tolkien wrote throughout his life and never really finished it completely.

His Son took the pieces and tried to assemble them in way that fits what he had to work with.

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>>82353038

Every time

>>82353038
Lol

>>82353056
Dealt with it in The Scouring of the Shire

>>82352941
>alchemists
>0 results
good ruse m8

>>82353019
It's about courage anon. He dared to try.

And no Fingolfin wounds him. No shitty eagles.

>>82349127
where they treated as a non-current asset and if so, did they account for depreciation even though they had an infinite useful economic lifetime?

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>>82353265

Don't they? IIRC the eagles scar Melkor's face when they drop by to pick Fingolfin's corpse.

>>82353265
Fingolfin wounds him 8 times (which never heal and always hurt, and also render him lame), then an eagle scars his face.

>>82353365
They pick up his body but Fingolfin specifically wounds him. The eagles don't. They might attacked his face.

>>82353365

No, Fingolfin slices his ankle/foot

>>82353393
Melkor is reaching towards Fingolfin to crush his body, Thorondor swoops in and scars Melkor's face and carries Fingolfin's body away. Thorondor did scar Melkor, but Fingolfin did wound him.

Jesus Christ.

>he wounded Morgoth with seven wounds, and seven times Morgoth gave a cry of anguish, .
>Yet with his last and desperate stroke Fingolfin hewed the foot with Ringil, and the blood gashed forth black and smoking and filled the pits of Grond.
> Thorondor came hasting from his eyrie among the peaks of the Crissaegrim, and he stooped upon Morgoth and marred his face.
>Morgoth went ever halt of one foot after that day, and the pain of his wounds could not be healed; and in his face was the scar that Thorondor made.

>>82353454
I think that's what I wrote just in a different way.

How does an elf even wound a god?

>implying Túrin Turambar's chapter wasn't the best in the book

>>82353738

Nobody is debating that

>>82353738
I like Túrin the most too. I think the worst part is the beginning. The wars between the elves and Melkor, and Turin are the best parts.

>>82353780
Only because it's slow.
It builds up nicely I think.

>>82353038
That's a big dragon.

>>82353266
>implying that jewels with """inherent value""" can depreciate

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>>82350259

>>82353056
degenerate city dweller detected

>y were there no hobbit strip clubs lmao XD

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*blocks your path*

>>82354511
What was his problem again?

>>82351417
Because Tolkien literally didn't give a shit about it being entertaining when he wrote it.

>>82354644

>literally god
>does fuck all with his powers

>>82354740
Who else is going to yell at some shit Old Willow no one cares about?

>>82354740

sounds right to me

>>82354740
He's not obliged to anon.

(like the real God(s))

>>82354740
>literally god
why do peoplke always make shit up in lotr threads?

>>82354740
More like a fisher king than god, he couldn't do much outside his domain

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>>82354140

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>tfw you ram the spike on your helmet into a Balrog and he falls on you causing you to drown in a fountain.

>>82352089
>>82349763
>>82349644
Also birthed best Tolkein-related song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aB6CPyO0Ww

>>82353663
Magic sword.

And Fingolfin was really REALLY fucking pissed.

Who would win in a fight?

A god who who has been around since the beginning and is said to resemble Eru the most

Some fucking twink with a sword.

>>82355584
also elves (and even men) were of a whole different breed back then

>>82355234
I'm still mad that album isn't on spotify

>>82355234
the silmarillion made me discover this album which in turn made me a power metal fan

>>82356183
>love the sil
>find stuff like this
>got 10 seconds in
>hate metal/hate music

>>82356110
Is the twink fucking pissed?

>>82356110
>calling a royally pissed off First Age pureblood Noldorian Elf King a "fucking twink with a sword"

Kys and your kin

>>82350259
>Also, the rights to make movies out of the silmarillion were bought like last year I think.

Were they fuck.

Christopher Tolkien's the one that's going to turn into flame when he dies because he's so fucking and his greedy shit kids might jew him, right now he won't give them up for all the gold in Erebor.

>>82356522
I'm pretty sure whoever directs a silmarillion movie is going to have to do daily battle with his vengeful spirit

>>82356522
>Being this wrong.

>Greedy

He wants to protect his Father's work from pleb shit like Disney.

After the Hobbit I don't blame him.

>>82356599
you read it wrong, its not Christopher who's greedy, its the folks who'll inherit the rights and who will eventually sell it

>>82356564
>>82356634
The rights for Sil are still with the Tolkien's Estate. Chris doesn't touch the films at all.
That's Tolkien's Entertainment/ whatever it's called.

So LOTR/Hobbit is with the media side but Sil and other works are still with Chris.

>>82354740

He's the spirit of Arda he just doesn't give a fuck about what everyone else is doing besides stuff he can see and his water spirit waifu.

>>82353854
For an elf

>>82356806
>He's the spirit of Arda
stop making shit up

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>>82350291
>>82353038
fix'd

>>82352386
this guy gets it

that said I read the whole thing in 4th grade

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Reminder that Cirdan was b a s e d

>Túrin: "Hail Gurthang! No lord or loyalty dost thou know, save the hand that wieldeth thee. From no blood wilt thou shrink. Wilt thou therefore take Túrin Turambar, wilt thou slay me swiftly?"
>Gurthang: "Yea, I will drink thy blood gladly, that so I may forget the blood of Beleg my master, and the blood of Brandir slain unjustly. I will slay thee swiftly."
>Yea, w/e ok

>>82354511
What would he do if you crushed his water-lillies?

why didn't they just use the eagles desu

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>>82357634
>This meme is far too blunt for sand people
>Only baneposters display such banal imagery

>>82349763
HOL UP
*mars arda irrevocably
YOU BE SAYIN'
*raises Misty Mountains to block the path of Orome the Hunter
THAT WE WUZ
*brings low Illuin and Ormal, the lamps of the Valar
SOME FINNA
*corrupts the firstborn in mockery of Eru
THAT WE
*traps the last light of the trees of Valinor in Angband's fathomless gloom
WUZ
*gets foot cut off
DARK LORDZ AN SHIEEEEEET?

>>82350955
Glaurung went through some doors built for elves into Nargathrond that there is no reason to believe were colossal fucking doors as they led to a hidden city and that might have given the game away. In Tolkiens drawings they look no more than 20 feet high and Smaug couldn't have fit through them.

>>82361410
Yeah, but he did devastate armies just by himself

>>82360628
that's a big dragon

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Why didn't they just give him the ring?

>>82363176
>walk half a continent over to shitty Mordor and possibly get killed a second time
>stay home and empty my ages old balls in Galadriel
hmm, really makes me think