I got memed by /tv/ into watching this movie, and it's the

>>82346974
>I'm a pleb and it's your fault. Fuck you /tv/

>>82346974
It was good. I just couldnt understand half the shit the cast was saying.

>>82346974
You should keep crying about how you're unable to process anything that doesn't have superheroes or lightsabers in it, pleb.

>>82346974
go watch power rangers kid.

>>82346974
Yep me too.

Worst fucking movie I've seen in ten years.

the overboob shots of the girl were good tho

>>82346974
>>82347092
Can you explain how it's bad without using buzzwords?

>>82347233
Thomasin is a cunt and never do anything right

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>>82346974

>>82347283
>le character isn't le likable
back to rebbit with you

>>82346974
>>82347092
you have to be at least 15+ to watch this movie.
age restrictions have a reason, you know.
it's not just about keeping the kids away from naked skin and or violence, but also about whether a person is mentally developed enough to grasp a film.

>>82346974

>The Witch requires concentration, intelligence and imagination to enjoy.

found the problem

Will alienfu be in any good movies like this again?

Morgan and split sucked

>>82346974
>The VVitch
>not the best movie in a decade
What's wrong with you?

Meanwhile, /tv/ memed me into watching
>Picnic at Hanging Rock
>Lake Mungo
>Crimson Peak

Some of you people need to die.

>>82347233
It's just random scenes put one after another, the story is bland, the visual effects seem those of a b-movie, they don't develop any character, everyone is a stereotype of its character (including the devil-goat), the old witch has no screentime, the other witches have no purpose, and the ending is just meh. The only good character is the little boy.

>>82346974
Feel free to leave and never coming back again

In terms of execution it's a 10/10, you can only hate it if you don't enjoy the narrative really

>>82347490
I don't think we saw the same movie. You sound like a massive pleb that needs action moments every 5 minutes.
Feel free to not like though, I don't give a shit.

>>82347480
you think those are bad?
/tv/ memed me into watching warcraft and gods of egypt.

>>82347582
Warcraft was watchable (though pretty shit, yeah).
It was nowhere near as bad as the movies I listed.

This is the first thread where I see /tv/ almost unanimously liking a movie. WHAT'S HAPPENING?

>>82347490
>It's just random scenes put one after another
I doubt even you believe this, yeah the director and the editor just threw all the clips randomly and rendered it out right we've all been pranked

>the story is bland
This is just an another way to say "it was boring" which is not an argument, I don't see why would anyone find it bland, it's an original story about a folktale you don't see often

>the visual effects seem those of a b-movie
Again pulling arguments out of your ass, post just a single screenshot which looks like a "b-movie" please because I'm pretty sure the effects and the production design is nearly flawless

>they don't develop any character
Literally every character from the family n the film changed throughout the narrative, tell me which character wasn't developed please

>the old witch has no screentime, the other witches have no purpose
They don't matter in the sense that you have to know their backstory or anything, the only thing that matters is how their existence affects their family, the result is what matter

>>82347490
>they don't develop any character
How the fuck is a puritan family testing their faith and descending into madness no character development? You're an idiot

>>82347691
I think we all liked Nightcrawler, too?
And Drive, before it got memed to death.

>>82347490
>stereotype of its character

I agree tbqh. I am so fed up of the puritan family being tossed into every single fucking film now, it's just getting old.

>>82346974
hurts to be a pleb, doesnt it?

>>82347490
you should really leave this board

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I don't get why /tv/ likes it considering the director has openly said that it is a feminist story.

>>82347771
>>82347772
>GOD ALWAYS HAS A PLAN father
>BOOHOO WE ARE POOR MY SON IS THE DEVIL DON'T TOUCH HIM WITCH whiny mother
>annoying twins with no purpose other than THEY TALKED TO THE GOAT
>one-dimensional daughter
>spooky old lady that appears in two scenes with an AAAAHHHHH!
As I said, only the other boy was a good character, the other ones were just stereotypes.

And regarding the effects, the goat attack leading to the father's death felt like they threw a puppet at him. And the ending scene where the girl flies is terrible.

>>82348035
please list a few similar characters from any other movie you know, should be easy if those are stereotypes

what is the movie even trying to say, its such a mess

>>82347580
>>82347972
>wahh your argument is wrong
btfo

>>82348029

Because we're not all like the /r9k/ manchild you are

>>82348265
It doesnt make any logical sense as a feminist story though. She willingly puts herself in service of a man (also Satan, no less) in exchange for basic gifts. In what world does this portray feminism in a positive light

>>82348177
It's literally a new england folktale represented on a visual medium, I don't see what are you so confused about it's pretty straightforward.

It's basically a film about family relations and how they can change dramatically when a tragedy ensues

>>82348177
It's a psychological drama about a puritain family disintegrating in isolation. The horror part is secondary to the main plot surrounding the family.

I don't know why people on /tv/ are so negative towards this movie. Even if they think overall it's shit (it's not) at least a puritan setting with authentic dialogue is pretty unique.

For a board that laments the amount of uninspired garbage out there, there seems to be a lot of sperging out when something slightly different comes along.

>>82347490
What visual effects?

>>82346974
So should I watch it?

>>82348449
about 90% of /tv/ likes The Witch a lot, that's why OP made this thread to be a bit of a flaming attention seeking contrarian

>>82348402
It would be more interesting if the mystical shit didn't exist. Obviously the family relations would deteriorate because the Devil himself is fucking with you

>>82348494
Yes, just don't expect the cattle-prod bullshit or gore that parades as horror nowadays

>>82346974
I liked it. It didn't have much of a plot and it wasn't scary but it had good atmosphere.

Why can't some people accept patrician horror?

>>82347490

at least he tried to explain why he didn't like it.

doesn't make him any less of a pleb or an idiot though.

movies like the witch are ultimate pleb filters. if someone doesn't like it you can pretty much discount any future opinions they might have.

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only babies hate jump scares

>>82348035
>these are the kind of """people""" you share this board with

now THAT is horror!

>>82348498
Suppose I just see the contrarian faggots then desu, most of the threads I've seen are of people bashing it and complaining that it's not a horror, that there's not enough witches in it.

>>82348722
>complaining there's not enough witches in it.
lmao. I wish there was a way to keep children off this site.

>>82347395
Basically this. I'm going to venture a guess that OP is no older than 19.

>>82348782
well how many witches are in it

>>82346974
Be honest OP, did you "watch" this movie while also browsing 4chan?

>>82348532
>Obviously the family relations would deteriorate because the Devil himself is fucking with you

But they don't know it's the Devil, they don't know what's really happening and they basically deterioarate themselves first.
The Devil plants the seed and they all do it themselves.

>>82348381
>willingly

not really. She had three choices:
>go with the Devil
>try to return to the village (without a horse) and explain how her whole family disappeared and how she isn't a witch
>try to survive on her own in the middle of nowhere with no crops

She could have done the virtuous thing and told the Devil to fuck off, but I guess the movie was about how someone can become alienated from their staunch religious beliefs

>>82346974
Best horror film I have ever saw.

I've seen people critiscise the film because they couldn't understand what any of the characters are saying. KEK.
>I can only digest quips

>>82348815
There's one main witch, and then several at the end, when they show the coven. "There's not enough witches" is a stupid complaint, and says nothing of the film's quality.

>>82348918
To be fair they speak in an english that is hard to understand specially if you aren't a native speaker
The movie is better watched with subtitles

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>>82348991
yeah sounds like there's too many witches, which is just as bad.

>>82349111
you shouldn't even be in this country

>>82349111
it you aren't a native speaker then my KEK wasn't aimed at you good sir, I've seen the complaint made by natives and it is those who need a good wrist slapping

>>82349115
They've probably got 5 minutes screen time max between them

>>82349133
I'm not in your country nor I intend to

>>82349237
good

>>82349115
If there's one legitimate complaint about the witches in the film, it would be that they showed the coven at the end. In my opinion, it would have been better to have just shown the girl walking into the dark woods naked, and then roll credits.

Yeah so I started this movie and it's obvious just pretentious fags who recommended it and not horror aficionados.

Sort of like the babadook, idiotic 4chan children who think they are clever for "getting" it, even though it's symbolism for dummies.

The ending was complete garbage and totally ruined what was an already boring pos movie. I literally laughed out loud. It was ed wood tier pure goat shit.

>>82349285
Don't know if I agree - the implication is that the twins were burned in the bonfire and so it sort of finalises Thomasins change into a bit of a cunt

>>82349111
>americans getting cucked out of their own movie

twin keques

>>82349314
It's not clever symbolism and it doesn't pretend to be, the family themes are pretty much spelled out for you.

It's just a unique, atmospheric period piece and I like it for that.

>>82349496
i was talking about the babadook you silly guy

>>82349314
>not horror afficionados like me who enjoy TRUE horror, such as Paranormal Activity and Saw

>>82349496
>>82349524

>not scary
>literally fails the prime directive of a horror movie

it only has one thing to do

>>82349521
you were insinuating that both have symbolism for dummies

>>82349552
>I judge my horror mobies by the amount of spooks it has xDDD

>>82349552
>It relies on pschological horror over cheap jump scares or gore therefore it isn't a horror film

>>82349552
Who even gets scared by horror movies in adulthood? The most I get are jumpscares and uneasiness from atmosphere.

Don't think I've been genuinely scared by a horror movie since I watched the 6th sense when I was about 12

>>82349580
same crowd

>>82349629
define "scary" because there are movies that are very unnerving and I'd classify them as horror despite the fact that nothing in them is explicitly frightening

>>82346974

>My subjective opinion matters!

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>>82349600
>>82349609
>>82349629

Pleb status: triggered

>>82346974
>>82346974
>and it's the worst movie ever created. It's literally worse than shit,

And this is how I know you are a pleb. Thank you for not being subtle, anon.

>80 replies later and OP hasn't responded even once

I've really gotta stop falling for this shit.

>>82349685
I mean scary enough to elicit a physical response; increased heartrate, sweaty palms. Feeling genuinely on edge whilst watching.

Yeah I've been unnerved by films recently but it was more psychological, I'd think about snowtown for hours after I watched it and it made me feel sick at points for example but I wouldn't say I felt scared by it.

>>82349735
brotip: no one actually cares about OP and takes any excuse to argue with eachother and share their views on literally anything.

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>>82346974
maybe you should have watched pee pee poo poo man you absolute pleb

>>82347490
capeshit was a mistake

>>82349735
But I lurked, and enjoyed the autism war.

>>82349314
There's nothing to get you fucking retard. It's a simple movie that's very well made. You just have the attention span of a literal retard.

>>82350432
>not scary

a well made rollercoaster would be shit too if it gave me no thrills. This isn't even a horror movie lmao.

>>82350468
Name a horror movie that you consider scary

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oh wow this witch is such a babe

>>82350555
the conjuring

a nightmare on elm street

Never trust /tv/ OP, that's how I ended up watching Interstellar

>>82350593
i want to marry zone-tan

>this movie is shit
>100 replies

How many replies would "this movie is good" get?

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>>82346974
>horror movie
>bad
>anon is surprised

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>>82350614
Neither of those are scary though

>>82350614
the conjuring is fucking garbage and not scary.
i fucking hate it so much. might be the worst and most boring film i've ever seen. even dropped it TWICE

>>82346974
looks like the pleb filter is still working

I haven't actually been scared by a horror movie since I was 12. Am I just watching the wrong ones or is this normal?

>>82346974

The Witch was one of the best period pieces ever made. You got tricked into thinking it was a horror film.

How can you be this much of a pleb? Watch it with fucking subtitles next time tard

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>not thinking Thomasin alone is enough to make the movie good

Are you a faggot or a woman?

>>82350956
>might be the worst and most boring film i've ever seen
I can tell you're dumb, or really young, by your hyperbole. That said, I didn't like The Conjuring either. The plot formula in that movie was too overused for me to find it enjoyable.

NO FUCK OFF I REFUSE TO HEAR YOUR BULLSHIT, THIS MOVIE IS SHIT. SHIT!

>>82346974

>>82347490
literally all of this is true nerds. the VaVitch was trash and you know it.

>>82348198
>b-b-but i dislike so it means its bad!

>>82348035
I want plebbit to leave.

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It's fucking garbage.

>>82346974

Do (You) not want to live deliciously big guy?

>>82346974
I think ti was a little overhyped. It could have done more with the concept. That's my opinion.

>>82347068
Yeah I had to turn the subs on. Movie was pretty good though, loved the atmosphere and it felt true to it's time period

/tv/ only liked this film because it pandered to thier /ss/ fantasies about the ayy lmao sister.

>>82347480
>The VVitch

Stop this you fucking autist

someone post the witchbutt