> Meanie Genie grants you 3 wishes > How do you make the

>>82255835
>i wish i was eternally happy

fault that.

>>82256061
>>i wish i was eternally happy
>i wish i were eternally happy

Faulted and fixed.

>>82256061
Ted was eternally happy at the end of IHNM.

>>82256061
>makes you a drooling retard with an imbecile smile on his face.

never born. bam flawless wish.

Only problem is the genie gets sucked out of existence because this means I never discovered him. It will be extremely painful

I wish I had an active superpower where all insects and bugs in the vicinity of ten feet of my location would instantly teleport into a random persons mouth.

>>82255835
I wish all humans with less than 96% European DNA turned into piles of shit.

>>82256451
Yeah but that would be a lot of shit to clean, all those immigrants who work shitty jobs will be gone, no one will want to clean all the shit up.

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>>82256407
Good one, let's not hope the randomized bugs all goes in your mouth, it could happen.

>>82255835
i wish /tv/ never existed

I wish that I could have an 8 hour, good nights sleep, whenever I'm ready to instead of tossing and turning for an hour

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>>82256451
who would be left to post on /pol/ then?

>>82256407
>no other people within ten feet of you
>all bugs teleport in to your own mouth since there's nowhere else for them to go

What a dumb wish.

>>82255835
>kill all niggers
>kill all sandniggers
>kill me

i wish for half life 3

>>82256767
>not episode 3

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>>82256220
Meanie Genie remains unchanged, waiting for another person to rub the lamp. Your wish was in vain.
>>82256451
Meanie Genie turns the people into scumbags/piles of shit.. In addition to having to deal with non-Europeans, they're shitty and annoying to you.
>>82256407
People would eventually figure it was you and throw you into a cell to rot away.
>>82256707
Meanie Genie grants you your wish. Every time you sleep you see wet dreams and jizz & piss in your pants, but you can't remember the wet dreams when you wake up.
>>82256767
Meanie Genie wills the game into existence. It's a broken mess full of bugs and your computer can't run it.
>>82256644
Meanie Genie makes you forget everything about /tv/.

I was all people who brapp posted had theri hands fall off.

i wish for all women to turn into handsome buff gay men

>>82256944
You get turned into a fat ugly woman with a peg leg

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>>82256220

>>82256944
Genie grants it. The buff gay men still retaining their feminine psyche go MtF and become beautiful trannies. They start banging each other and ignore you. Why even live?

>>82256944
They are too buff, no chickenbreast for you

I wish for you to lose your wish granting powers.

Just wondering what would happen to the genie at that point.

I wish the number 3 was greater than infinity.

Would this work?

>>82257732
genie makes it greater than infinity but less than zero. also the universe collapses

>>82257807
welp nothing ventured amiright?

>>82257714
The genie couldn't grant wishes to others, but would still retain his own magical powers.
>>82257732
Sure you could wish that, but that wish has nothing to do with your other wishes. You're just wishing to change the definition of number three, not your third wish. Entertaining the possibility that it would work, the Meanie Genie would just stop granting wishes after the third one.

>>82256515
That would boost robotics. Now it's going slowly because it would create billions of unemployed

I wish I was omnipotent and omniscient.

>>82256515
>all those immigrants who work shitty jobs will be gone, no one will want to clean all the shit up.
We have plenty of white morons to fill in those jobs.

>>82259092
Genie grants your wish, but the infinite information overloads your brain and you die

>>82259092
This

>>82259293
You can't die when you're omnipotent

>>82259335
You can, if you didn't made yourself immortal. And since you died before you can make yourself immortal you died

I wish 100 million AUD in 100 dollar bills would materialize in my living room.

>>82259335

Have you confused omnipotent with immortal? You can still die.

I want the ability to stop time and go invisible
Final wish would be to free the genie cos I'm a nice guy apart from all the frozen time invisible rapes I'd commit.

I wish I could do anything I wanted with absolutely no consequences.

>>82255835

I'd wish for all the powers of a genie, but state clearly that I don't actually want to be a genie. Then I'd tell him to fuck off back into his lamp because I don't need him anymore.

>>82259381
Rip

My wish would be complete invincibility until I want to die

>>82259392
>the dollar bills are from the local banks and when you try to spend or deposit them, the serial numbers on the bills tip you off as the criminal
>the police aren't sure HOW you did it, but you have the incriminating evidence and I don't think they'll take "A genie gave them to me" as an excuse

>>82259425
>Didn't wish for the ability to restart time
>Once you stop time it remains stopped and you are trapped forever
>same thing with going invisible, with the added bonus of being blind because to be transparent light has to pass through you and if light cannot reflect you cannot see

Wow nice

>>82259449
Wish granted, but at the first thought of dieing you die.

>>82259433
This would include POSITIVE consequences, such as feeling pleasure or satisfaction, or even PHYSICAL consequences (such as interacting with matter), so you'd probably become some kind of 4D ghost that no one can see/feel/touch/etc.

>>82259456
>it turns out I'm not a total fucking retard that would attempt to deposit more than 10,000 dollars unaccounted for into any financial institution
I'd clean the money through change at small businesses, purchase luxury items with the clean money, write them off as gifts from my friends, sell them, and deposit that money into the bank.

>>82259490
That's not what I agreed to
You need to be tricked not decieved
Your greed needs to be your undoing

>>82259525
It wouldn't matter. You're not the first person to think of laundering money through local businesses. Eventually it would show a geographical pattern as to where the marked bills were being spent and tighten a police dragnet around you. One million $100 bills is a lot of paper to magically disappear. Should have gotten different denominations of bills.

>>82259397
You can, but omnipotence means all powerful. I can do anything, including making myself immortal, invincible, etc.

>>82259449
>>82259566

You never specified the nature of your invincibility. The genie could just put you into some kind of NEVER DIE POD like Pokey in Earthbound where you're stuck in it, alone, with no internet/TV/etc forever, until you want to fucking die.

>>82259594
But I don't need to get rid of all million of them. I'd want to make out of this around, say, 500-600 grand for a home. That's what, 6,000 100 dollar notes? That's a few years worth of transactions. the rest of it can just be rainy day money

>>82259092
>>82259660

You become the Meanie Genie. Because you know all things that ever were and are to be, and have the ability to do all things that ever were and are to be, you no longer know the feelings of corporeal enjoyment and resort to getting your kicks off of elaborately worded-wish manipulation games with lesser beings.

>>82259092
Genie grants you unlimited strength, but does not adjust your body durability. One swing and your arm is gone.
Genie grants you omnisciene.. in myrmecology. You know everything there is possible to know about ants.
>>82259433
Meanie Genie puts you into a coma, you're in a dream world.
>>82259392
Meanie Genie materializes the bills, they have the same serial number.
>>82259441
Meanie Genie grants you the powers of his friend Sneevie, he has the powers to make fart noises with his hands.

>>82259716
If it was USD, I might see you getting away with it in Burgerland based on the size and population density. But in Kangarooland, that many $100 notes suddenly vanishing from the bank vaults and the amount of locations you'd be capable of even getting change for a $100 note is a lot smaller and worthy of attention.

Unless Aussie police are also super incompetent.

I wish all humans on earth had no empathy for jewish people.

>>82259774
>Black people, feminists and communists still fall for the tricks of the Jews and society does not change

>>82259774
>Jews
>people

Nice try, Shlomo

>>82259759
Australian banks had 270 billion dollars in liquid assets in 2012. I'm certain this wouldn't be as tough as you make it out to be.
>>82259741
But that's not 100 million AUD then. That's 100 AUD. It's like if I delivered you a notice of debt for 100 dollars after I loaned you 100 dollars. Just because I give you the exact same notice another 1,000 times doesn't mean I create a debt of $100,000.

I wish for an asteroid roughly the size of Africa to crash into the Atlantic with no warning and no time for anyone to prepare, killing millions on impact and leading to the rapid extinction of all life on earth, including me and the genie.

>>82259774
What's it like being a person who actually deserves to die horribly?

>>82259915
The asteroid hits an alien space ship called "the Atlantic" out in space, killing millions of ayylmaos and extinction of all life on some dirt ("earth"), which also causes you to die, and the Genie was never alive to begin with so he shrugs.

>>82259686
That's better

>>82255835
I wish that I didn't have these wishes

>>82259973

Whatever as long as I'm dead

>>82260015
>the Meanie Genie gives you three OTHER wishes instead of the three wishes he originally gave you

I wish to become a self serving genie without all the lamp business
Then I do my own wishes
Then I wish for other genie to kill himself

I wish to die painlessly immediately after making this wish.

>>82259937
So if you hate jews then you deserve to die, yes thats totally not racist at all Schlomo.

>>82259092
The Genie destroys all other living beings and himself, as far as you know. Omnipotence and Omniscience are relative to human understanding - as the only living creature, you have literally all the power that exists, and knowledge only applies to something capable of learning and understanding, which is you. If you do not know about it, it does not exist - thus, you are "all knowing".

Congratulations. You played yourself.

>>82260041
what happens if I just don't spend my wishes? I ain't so arrogant to think I can outsmart him, I'll save myself the hassle and just not wish

>>82259863
Meanie Genie materializes your money as these bills. "In December 2016, it was reported that Australia may abolish its $100 note to close down loopholes used by the black economy." Your money quickly becomes worthless.

>>82260063
The genie removes the lamp, but you are instead bound to a ring (like old school genies).

You then have sex ("do") a physical manifestation of your wish to be a genie bound to a ring, which is depicted by two gay midgets dressed up as a genie and a ring.

Lastly, a sad Indian man named "Other Genie" kills himself.

>>82255835
I wish that I become a Meanie Genie with full powers and you become a powerless human, with an urge to make wishes of me

See how the fucker likes a taste of his own medicine

>>82260125
The original poster never specified. In most "evil genie" stories, they'll either threaten you with violence/death if you don't spend the wishes, or just wait for you to either make a slip of the tongue (saying shit like "Oh man, I wish I didn't do that"), or worst case scenario, waits until you sleep and uses your dreams as interpretation of a wish and makes it real (ala the "a dream is a wish your heart makes!" Disney meme)

wish for non tricky response to my wishes
wish for more wishes

1st Wish for Immortaltiy
2nd for Stop aging at 30
3rd for Superman's Power

I ask for stop aging because he can be a dick and make me immortal but I still age and I dont want o be a fucking old man forever

>>82260212
Meanie Genie once again contacts his friend Sneevie and temporarily grants you his powers and transfers his own powers to Sneevie. The human now wishes for you to make farting noises.
>>82260403
Meanie Genie gladly grants you more wishes.
Though he will still only make three of your wishes true.
>>82260557
Meanie Genie grants you immortality and you stop aging at 30. For the third wish, he grants you Superman's invulnerability, nothing else.
Your hair and nails keep growing, you cannot cut them cause you're invulnerable to everything. After years, you're a giant ball of hair and chitin, you can't move anymore. Your entire existence is being encased in your own filth.

>>82260729
Nice try faggot but Superman cuts his own hair and nails with his eyelasers.

OP here, let me have a go at this.

1st wish = I wish that my other wishes be granted to be exactly as I interpret them, not as you or anyone else interprets them.
Now I would scribble what ever on a piece of paper I brought with me.
2nd wish = I wish that everything on this piece of paper would be granted to me in real life right now.
3rd wish = I wish that upon dying of old age in the future, I would be reborn into my own body with my memories intact just before making my wishes.

>>82261047
What eyelasers? He was granted only invulnerability.
>3rd for Superman's Power
He wishes for one of Superman's powers, so the Meanie Genie granted him one.

There's no way to win here without first talking to a lawyer

I wish /tv/ had actual on topic threads and not garbage found in /b/ like this thread

>>82255835
Wish 1: omnipotence
Wish 2: omniscience
Wish 3: omnipresence

bow to your god geniecuck

A little more BAKLAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>82262154
>>82260106

>>82262340
Nope wrong its not relative to human understanding at all anything you destroyed I'll simply recreate, literally all knowing all seeing all powerful, your fucked little genie the universe is mine

Wish 1: I wish for there to exist "iticars" Iticars will be identical to wishes except without any limits
Wish 2: I wish for infinite iticars from you
Wish 3: [never]

>>82260073
The Genie eternally extends the last syllable of your wish, making you effectively immortal.