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Boston McDonald's worker here.
I knew the second I opened a box of Happy Meal toys and saw Mario's mustached face that trouble was heading my way. Well that trouble came today when I felt rhythmic steps shaking the ground. I knew right away it was Bob Chipman, one of my most loyal customers. Usually he'd just order twelve dollars worth of shit from the dollar menu and wash it down with a large diet coke that he'd refill three or four times every visit. But today, there was something gravely different about him. He came in wearing a pair of blue overalls, a red shirt, white gloves, the iconic Mario hat, and a fake dog fur mustache that he had superglued to his upper lip. I could tell many of the children in the restaurant were visibly upset at the sight and stench of this man. But still, I had a job to do. I asked him "How can I help you sir?"
Bob needed a minute to catch his breath after walking fifty feet from the parking lot. But he finally said the words I had been dreading. "Gimme eight ahv them Mario Happy Meals."
I rang him up for eight Happy Meals and gave him eight little cups as I informed him that I'd bring him his meal. He looked in disgust at the cups but he took them and proceeded to pull an empty table over to the soda machine. As I waited for the fry cooks to box up his meals and toys, I watched as he filled those little cups with diet coke only to down them like shots of whiskey. After a few minutes, the food was done.
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No sooner had I set two trays stacked with Happy Meal boxes on his table did he tear into them like a starving pig being led to a trough for the first time in a week. I didn't even bother to tell him that the cardboard boxes they came in weren't edible. How could I when a dozen children were crying because they were witnessing a horror no child should ever have to see? My manager thought she could calm them down if she gave them free ice cream and a Mario toy.
What I saw next will haunt me for the rest of my days. Bob perked up at the sight of my manager handing out ice cream and toys. He squealed like a rabid boar as he charged her head on. The poor thing barely got out of the way in time as he snatched the toys and ice cream. He dove onto the ground and ate the ice cream. The man wasn't even using his hands. He just stuck his face in the semi-melted mess and wolfed it all down. Then he latched onto the toys as if he had just found the Holy Grail. He ripped them open one by one and began playing with them in the middle of his ice cream mess. He babbled on about how Bowser had taken over Ice Cream Kingdom and Mario had to save the superior future.
Eventually he fell into a diabetic coma and we were able to call a tow truck with a wench to drag him out the door. But after that, I handed in my two weeks notice. I can handle belligerent customers and scrubbing shitty toilets for minimum wage. But picking up a half eaten Princess Peach toy covered in Bob's slobber was the final straw. I hope the people at McDonald's can get over the horrors they just saw. Because I sure can't.
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this is /tv/
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>>82119831
Looking at the other threads I thought this was /b/.
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>>82119764
>>82119785
This is too well written for a micky D's employee.
Still, I enjoyed your story and thought it was, in fact, cool, bro.
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>>82120006
Could be a college graduate with a creative writing degree
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>>82119785
>>82119764
Anyone have bob tweets calling his mom basement a basement apartment?
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ACLU called this dude out
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>>82119764
There's new Mario toys?
Fuck I just ate.
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>>82121365
I think those are leftovers from the set Japan used in their happy meals a few months ago.
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>>82119764
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m7FRoaJ-n0
Well shit, they even had more options.
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Is Bobbo a virgin?
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>>82124378
No he raped and murdered multiple women
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>giving MovieBlob attention
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