how would YOU get rid of this motherfucker? Hard mode: NO EAGLES

>>81726850
Walk down nigger central and drop it

>>81726850
Eat it

What if you just ask the eagles for advice?

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destroy it in the fires of Mount Doom where it was forged.

>getting rid of it
The ring is mine.

>>81726850
1,000 Degree Hot Knife

Toss it into the sea. It will be eons before it's found and by then it won't be my problem

>>81726850
give it to tom bombadil and tell him its his responsibility now. Faggot will have to take action once the nazguls are at his door

I wouldnt

I'd just use any other volcano, fuck going to Mt Doom

>>81726950
Under rated

>>81726954
The ring is constantly drawn to sauron, it would be washed ashore and found by someone.

>>81726850
Put it on my cock and get all the cunny.

>>81726850
Take it to the pawn shop

shit on it so if sauron wants to wear it, he'll have all shit on his finger

>>81726850

Mail it to Valinor

>>81726988
It took centuries for someone to find it when it was just in a river

take a cruise and throw it overboard when we are over a really deep part of the ocean

Put it on my ass. What then Sauron, you gonna shove your hand up my ass, gaylord?

i think one is around my penis as we speak

>>81726958

Tom Bombadil doesn't give a shit about the ring or Middle Earth for that matter, he would tell you to fuck off his property

>>81726989
Gollum might bite it off though. Have fun

>>81726850

Say it's name backwards.

>>81726850
Fire it into the sun.

>>81726988
>The ring is constantly drawn to sauron, it would be washed ashore and found by someone.
What if you were to go into the middle of complete nowhere, dig a 15 foot deep hole drop it in, fill the hole up and walk away.

fill the centre with adamantium so he can't get it on his finger

>>81727018
Sauron wasn't as strong back then.

>>81726954
>>81727018
>>81727023
>ocean

You gays realise that osse (an even bigger dick than sauron) lives there, right?

>>81727054
It still won't be my problem when some Dol Amrothian finds it in a cod though

Maintain my crippling low self-esteem so that I wouldn't feel worthy or deserving of the ring or its power. I would simply walk to Mt Doom and drop it in, since I wouldn't feel like I deserved it anyway.

I'd keep it. Pressing matters like a ring of power need a lot of thinking so what's the point of rushing.

>>81727062
Osse is Ulmo's bitch though

>>81727051
You wouldn't, because willingly parting with the ring is nigh impossible for all but a few.

>>81727035
Just leave it in his house without telling him

>>81727051

You don't seem to understand, some strange insect would find it and eat it, a bird would then eat it and defecate it somewhere populated. It might take months or years or even eons but it WILL find a way. Also the reason the ring must be destroyed in the first place is not because of what would happen if Sauron gets to it, but because of Sauron being there in the first place.

>>81727109
If that's your MO you wouldn't find his house anyway

>>81726850
Hydraulic press.

>>81727099
Is that why he caused so much shenanigans during the first age having sided with morgoth. Ulmo didnt do shit

>>81727102
ok, what if someone forced you to dig the hole and throw it in, then killed you.

>>81727102
I quit biting my fingernails. Pshh. Walk in the park.

>>81727062

Osse is a fucken faggot who stopped being edgy when his wife told him off

>>81727109

He would know it was you, he'd return it and kick your ass

>>81727134
See
>>81727118

>>81727124
>moving goalposts

Shove it over my dick and run past all the deatheaters as they laugh at how stick thin my dick is.

Drop it in Mount Doom and go to McDonalds for some Chicken Nuggets.

Isn't there some sort of spell or magic shit to fly or levitate in the world of LOTR?

>>81726850
use is as a cock ring and make my benis dissapear

>>81727118
>some strange insect would find it and eat it
Not if you put it in a 5 inch thick lead box.

>>81727159
You can only meet him if you're a jive dude, you don't just GPS to his house

>implying I'd be able to resist it and not just end up keeping it for myself like everyone who had it

>>81727206
Is your "benis" a different entity seperate from your body?

Give it to those elves leaving middle earth.

>>81726850
Id give it to Galadriel in exchange for sex.

I would go to the local hobbit pub and shitpost with them about what to do.

>>81726850
>secretly encase it in some gold bauble
>give it to some uninvolved elf going overseas
>have that elf present it as a gift to the valar

>>81727203
No. Well not by the third age anyway

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hiding wouldn't work because sauron was winning without the ring anyway.

I'd just give the ring to legolas and let him surf all the way to mount doom over orc heads.

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>talk to my local pharmacist
>tell them I'll need another repeat of my script for 40mg/daily of Aropax, an antidepressant of which side-effects include an almost total numbing of one's emotions
>go back to wherever those fucking people were
>(never watched the movie, never read the book, come at me, I don't give a fuck)
>start doubling my dose of Aropax to 80mg/day
>all work and no play doesn't matter, Jack is one VERY dull boy
>greed? nah. anger? fuck nah. every single other emotion? what are you, a fucking idiot?
>alright chaps, give me that cunt of a ring
>cunts come at me
>aragorn and the dwarf and the fag with the bow fend them off
>lather, rinse, repeat
>always repeat
>make it to Mt. Doom or that fucking volcano
>don't see why you couldn't just have a blacksmith make a fucking hot fire to burn that cunt
>fuck it, never read or watched it, i'm sure there's logic
>drop that cunt on in
>go back to frodoland
>try to fuck bitches
>Aropax has made me impotent
>shit
>make my way back to Mt. Doom to throw myself in
>mfw as I'm falling in

>>81727225
They would get easily corrupted. Middle Earth Elves are very easy to corrupt, that's why they're there and not on the holy land.

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>>81727226
Make that sauron and its a deal

build a tunnel under mordor.

No Eagles???

Nah lad, you give the hyper intelligent giant eagles the One Ring and you better be prepared for the terrifying Age of the Feather.

>>81727193
Kekd heartily

>>81727233
This could actually work. The valar aren't technically interfering

>>81726988
Kill every living person or thing so they could not return it to him and then dispose of it in the sea and then kill myself

Why didn't they just get the autistic hobbits and elves to make a catapult strong enough to launch it straight to Mt. Doom?

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Make a deal with Sauron. He can have the Ring, I'm sure he wouldn't mind giving me a nice house and position for saving him the trouble once the war is won.

Let's face it there's a 0.001% chance anyone in here could destroy it, why even bother?

>>81727233
>>81727301
>local man outsmarts omniscient gids, brags about it in the anonymous basement tavern

>>81727285

underrated post

>>81727319

Make a deal with Sauron

Ah yes, this has turned out fine in the past

>>81726850
I still don't understand the eagles argument. If they just flew into Mordor with eagles, they'd get fucking murdered by 1001 things discounting the fucking FELLBEASTS

>>81727319
Sauron would torture you for having it in the first place not to mention seeing sauron wearing the ring would be torture itself

>>81727118
>the reason the ring must be destroyed in the first place is not because of what would happen if Sauron gets to it, but because of Sauron being there in the first place

The reason it needs to be destroyed is because it's dangerous in the hands of anyone powerful enough to wield it. Hypothetically, if Aragrorn or Gandalf or Saruman or whoever gets ahold of the ring, they could potentially use it to overthrow Sauron. But then Middle Earth would just be left with a new more powerful Dark Lord to contend with. That's also why Sauron is so hasty to attack Gondor, and it's why he's so willing to take the bait when Aragorn marches to the black gate on a suicide mission with his tiny army. Sauron is scared shitless that someone else might use the ring against him. The only viable solution is to destroy the ring.

>>81726850
Cast it into the fire.

The fellowship was a good idea, but honestly they could have organised it better.
They knew Sauron was aware it was in Rivendell and a group would be making a break for it and Gandalf knew that Sauron mistakenly believed they'd try to wear the ring and rally Men.
So they should have started with a larger group of Rangers and Elves, travelled for a bit then split the group with the Ranger group making a lot of noise travelling to Gondor to 'deliver' the ring.
Meanwhile, a crack team of Legolas, Elrond's kids and motherfucking Glorfindel carry Frodo to Mount Doom and chuck the ring there.

They shouldn't have relied on such a small, mortal force to make it to and through Mordor.

>>81726954
Sauron was winning without the ring anyway.

The ring is like a phylactery- you have to destroy it to destroy Sauron. Destroying his body again will weaken him but he'll regrow if the ring is intact.
Throwing the ring away so it can never be found again is almost as bad as letting Sauron have it: he still has all his gigantic armies and he wouldn't be able to be killed even if you defeated him.

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Id take it to Valinor and let Tulkas body slam Sauron when he comes looking for it

>>81727376
Hey cmon he's not that ugly

>>81727368
What if they flew at 20,000 miles up and then just dived straight into mt. Doom

>>81727368
This, Eagles in the Hobbit were wary of rescuing the dwarves because regular humans shot them with bows and they were afraid of arrows.

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>>81727404
He's not ugly at all

>>81727203
maybe gandalf could, but im pretty sure Eru told him that would be cheating

knowing what I know of just the films:
>take the ring and explain to the fellowship that we all need to stick together
>explain the whole wormtongue, sauron situation
>explain the ents
>explain the ghost army
>we overthrow sauron before he can muster up an uruk army
>tell aragorn to get the ghosts to clear a path for us straight into Mordor
>go into mt doom with 50,000 men at my back and throw the ring in

>>81726893
w-wait, would this work??

>>81727510
>>tell aragorn to get the ghosts to clear a path for us straight into Mordor
Couldn't you just get one of the ghosts to run to Mordor with the ring, can the ring corrupt what is dead?

I'd offer it to Sauron, he'd give me power

Did Frodo even technically succeed or fail?

>>81727510
Sauron already had a standing uruk army

>>81727545
What are the barrow wights

>>81726850
>a fucking manlet hobbit takes the ring and keeps it for 100's of years turning into gollum


I would've just dug a big big hole and put it in and covered it up, it's not like they're gonna find the ring, just like the ring wraiths couldn't find the ring when the hobbits hid behind the treeroots

>>81727562
He failed. Its impossible to willingly destroy the ring (unless you're tom or vala)

>>81727562

Well he succeeded in the sense of destroying the ring but failed to do it willingly (as Gandalf always knew would be the case)

>>81727594
or Sam!

stfu

>>81727620

>as Gandalf always knew would be the case

Is this implied in the books? I don't remember this from the films

>>81726978
Then the Balrogs would find it.

>>81727620
So... wait, if gandalf knew he couldn't willingly destroy the ring what was his purpose for sending him to mordor? Is Gandalf a double agent

>>81727562
He did as much as was possible for a mortal to do, which from the Christian viewpoint is a success. Keep in mind that although Tolkien didn't really want real world religion in his story, he was still a religious man and later described LotR as a religious work.

>"The Lord of the Rings is of course a fundamentally religious and Catholic work; unconsciously so at first, but consciously in the revision."

>>81727573
i meant Saraumon not Sauron
as far as I know he didn't have a full army during the fellowship. even then the rohan army and ents would BTFO them. In fact we could just break the dam and drown them while they are gathered

>>81727074
Even if it's not your problem you'd still be fucked.

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Thank me later

>bury it somewhere
>travel to the east
>
>profit

>>81726893
>>81727517
for real, could this shit fucking work, motherfuckers? have we ever considered this before? i for sure haven't.

>>81727680

I'm not sure but didn't the ents only pay attention to Gandalf the White because they thought he was Saruman in the first place?

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>>81726850
I'd science the shit out of this one

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>>81726850
>go undercover and join the muslim cunts on Saurons side
>get easy ride into Mordor
>go stealth mode up to mount doom
>Tell Sam that he has to shank Frodo in the back and throw is corpse into Mount doom otherwise your going to rape the shit out of his Hobbitfu

>>81727517
>>81727723
why the fuck would that work

>>81727710
4. Get raped by a million orcs

>join the Easterlings
>drop the Ring somewhere and watch Sauron go full godmode
>have fun raping and pillaging for years

>>81727723
of course not, implying you just kept eating it after you shat it the Nazgul would eventually find you and smell it all over you and open you up like a mexican cartel. Or take you directly to Sauron and see how that goes for you once he finds out you've been systematically eating and shitting his precious.

>>81727710
>Tolkien world is flat
>in before space rocks (the literal ones, not the crying, dancing ones) would eventually drag it back to the ground because hurr durr the ring wills it

>>81727762
REMINDER: rosie cotton was the shire bike; everyone's had a go at her

>>81727230
>shitpost

when you do it in real life, it's called "talking" or "having a conversation"

>>81727651
No it wasn't, but Gandalf was aware of that potential and cared for the Hobbits (and especially Frodo) enough that he didn't want that. Gandalf really never wanted the Hobbits to have to take that burden, because he romanticised their "innocence" and didn't want them corrupted.

>>81727789
>raping and pillaging
>more like goats & praising Allah 20 times a day

>>81727774
just fucking eat the ring, then it's gone. why the fuck would that NOT work?

>>81727801
Are you a normie or something

>>81727651
>>81727660

In the book Gandalf and Elrond talk about how it would require an 'impossible feat of will' to destroy the ring.

However they believed that the ring was meant to come to Frodo and that gave them some sort of hope that greater forces were at play

>>81727796
How does a flat world negate space?

Would it be possible for Frodo and Sam to actualy look like orcs instead of wearing orc armour?
That way they could just walk into Mordor without being noticed.

>>81727791
you've made me laugh anon. good one.

>>81727820
He sounds like a man. What are you a boy or something? Mods

What would have happened if Smaug had decided he wanted the ring
Would he become some Dark Dragon Lord or something

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>>81727800
DELETE MR. ANONYMOUS OR YOU WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT YOU

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>>81726954
>giving the ring to Ulmo

Anyone suggesting give it to the sea has no understand of the pain it would bring Middle Earth.

>>81727837
Laws of gravity not the same

>>81727818
how do you expect to eat it other than swallowing it whole? You cant break the ring with your teeth and you would just shit it out after a while.

>>81727796
It's not flat ever since the Numenoreans fucked up.

>>81727801
It's banter tbqh.

>>81727864
t. just making shit up as i go

>>81727854

He would have shat all over Sauron that is for sure

>>81727881
So Sauron is a bitchboy? Is there a list of people/creatures that with the ring equipped would have trashed the fuck out of Sauron?

Just send in the guy from shadow of mordor
He can just carve his way trough the Uruk army and forcefully make some friend along the way

>>81727861
Ulmo? What the fuck is that. The washing detergent monster? Tolkien really was on hallucinogenics

>>81727900

see

>>81727386

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shes not a slut shes not a slut shes not a slut shes not a slut shes not a slut shes not a slut shes not a slut shes not a slut shes not a slut shes not a slut

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>>81727900
Sauron has always been a schemer, not a fighter. He gets fucked in every fight he's ever been in.

>tfw you get beaten by a dog

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>>81726850
OP YOU JUST ASSUME ANYONE ON THIS BIG BOARD WOULD EVEN TRY.

The ring seduces most men. People on this board can't even resist the temptation to fap. There would be no hope for Middle-Earth, if an anon got the Ring.

I would just put the ring on my cock and fap to Sauron's eye once it sees me.

>>81727710
The arrow will make a return arc in a while, it's not just shooting out of the atmosphere, you would either have to shoot it out of the earths gravity field or put it into orbit

>>81727936
Wait what? I know the LOTR world had Werewolves and vampires at some point but I didn't know Sauron was one at some point.

>>81727868
So just re-eat it.

>>81727945

>this asuming the creatures of middle earth even know about gravity

>>81726850
Give it to the fellowship like in the film but instead of using it as a necklace, I put it in some super hard dwarf steel case then wrap it with mythical elven handkerchief and then chained it directly to frodo body.

>>81727973
Sauron was lord of the werewolves, known at the time as Gorthaur I think. He trapped Beren but his waifu and her dog came and beat up Sauron, setting him free.

>>81727027
If Frodo did that Sam would turn invisible

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>>81727944
>The ring promises me the banjis in their prime to do with what i please

I mean is middle-earth really that good

>>81727936
This is true.

Sauron is a bitch when it comes to fighting. But he never gives up and is extremely patient, so that makes him dangerous. He will wait for his enemies to die or forget about him and reintroduce himself as a new guy. A con man. The movies biggest FAIL was how they did Sauron. He's not a fucking tank.

>>81727791
how would they find you though? the wraiths had only a vague sense of the ring's whereabouts when it was on Frodo's neck, muchless buried in his digestive tract.

>>81727991
I couldn't close it into a steel case because you'd want look at the ring and caress it

>>81727791
>>81728063
this could work dude

>>81728059
>He's not a fucking tank

When push comes to shove; yes he is

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>>81727973

Sauron took the form of both a wearwolf and a vampire in the same fight and still got beat by a dog

>>81726850
Drop it in another volcano.

>>81728091

Holy shit I need to read the books

>>81728087
Not on the same level as one of the balrogs, Morgoth's other lieutenants. Canonically he got killed by Gil-Galad and Elendil, who sure are tough, but no where near as tough as the First Age bunch.

>>81728091
To be fair, there was only one creature who could defeat Huan due to a prophecy of Mandos. Sauron never had a chance.

>>81728115
The silmarillion is nothing like LOTR though
It reads like the bible

>>81728143
You forget that it was cirdan, galad, elrond, elendil and isildur that took part in that fight and he still roasted two

>>81727319
this

Hand it over to Sauron or one of his lackeys, get handsomely rewarded with some ivory tower next to Sauromen and above all the stinky orcs.

Get a huge household of slaves that will feel lucky to serve me instead of getting fed to the monsters below.

>>81728063

The ring is a fucking burden just to look at, not to mention owning it, not mentioning carrying it with you, now imagine carrying it in your asshole every day of your fucking life.

>>81728154
This. People are quick to forget that sauron tried to cheat fate by turning into a werewolf to kill huan and the fact tgat luthien was also helping

>>81728084
no it fucking couldn't

>retarded anon spends a year eating jewellery and sifting through his shit
>smugly proclaims to al that he has outwitted the dark lord
>is mysteriously whisked away by hooded figures one afternoon
>nobody cares because all he did was stomp around peoples gardens yelling about smart he was

>>81728195

Itd be like being around you but nearly as bad.

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>>81727791
>>81728063
>nazgul finds frodo
>"where is the ring, hobbit?"
>"it's in my ass"
>starts screeching autistically while galloping away

>>81728207
It wouldn't have been cheating if Sauron really had been the biggest baddest werewolf, but he wasn't so he lost.

>>81726850
Store it in the same warehouse that has the Ark of the Covenant.

>Pull 10 random men from their homes
>Build a cement tomb
>Put the ring in
>Cover it up
>Kill everyone involved in the construction

What now?

>Putting it on your ass or penus
You idiots, you're supposed to shove it up your peepee hole.

>>81728235
WHY THE FUCK NOT?

>hobbit walks into the belly of the beast
>ring strapped around his fucking neck
>over the period of probably a few years
>still makes it

if the ring were in his digestive tract he would have had the benefits of extra insulation against prying eyes and to keep the ring warm, and would never have to worry about it slipping over his finger or into enemy hands.

Face it anon, the most logical solution is for Frodo to have eaten that fucking ring, pooped it out, sifted through said poop, and eaten it again over and over and over for the entire fucking journey.

Just throw it up really hard into space.

>>81728310

>what now?

Sauron succeeds in conquering the race of men
Middleearth is overrun with rapeorcs
Nazgul are all drawn to this strange cement tomb for 10 nobodies
The tomb is subsequently exhumed and the ring recovered

I'd put it up me bum bum so Sauron would have to get it out of me with no lube cause I'm a bad sissy.

>>81726850
melt some rocks and put the ring in the molten rocks

Middle of Earth

build a rocket ship and launch it into a black hole

check mate sauron

>>81728368
Well yeah but that would have given him some serious problems and made it all the more complicated. Frodo would have had to train for that kind of stuff.

>>81727796
>Tolkien world is flat
Umm buddy I got news for you our world is flat.

>>81728471
train for what, swallowing a ring and then mushing his warm poop between his fingers to find a solid gold ring? can't be that hard, no way it requisites formal training.

>>81728495
How do the Aliens in the centre breathe if they're condensed

I'd just walk to the door asking to speak to sauron claiming to know where the ring is, meanwhile, just as the door opens, cloaked Sam runs with the one true ring and destroys it. I don't give a fuck if I die.

>>81727263
They're leaving for their sacred "afterlife" shores.
If the ring is there, that's their problem.

>>81728508
Swallowing thit and throwing it up or pooping it over an extensive period does require training to get abjusted to it.

>>81728469
Great, now you've made an invisible black hole.

>>81728562
No it doesn't, you just do it and become accustomed to it over time

>>81728562
no way dude i used to purge all the time. and if it's just checking my poop to make sure i didn't pass a bit of jewelry, I do that already... I may have ruined LOTR for myself just now.

>>81728591
Have fun with your stomach ache and intenstine infection for swallong a magic ring covered in feces residue over and over then.

>>81728368
intestines do not count as extra insulation against Sauron's magic. also, your idea poses many further logistical questions, like who should have to sift through the poop? Frodo shouldn't be forced to endure anymore hardship, I feel like Sam should sift through the shit, as an added punishment for assisting in such a stupid fucking retarded endeavour.

>>81727233
>anon cucks gods

Fund it.

>>81726850
put it in one of Elon's rockets and launch it into the sun

>>81728636
Nah man. The ring is solid gold. You boil it rabbit stew for half an hour before swallowing it. The ring being magical has no affect on your digestive system

>>81727662

I always find it funny how people always jump to point out it's not supposed to be allegorical when it's inherently so just from being derived from allegorical shit to begin with.

>>81728666
them evil trips. Hypothetically could the sun even destroy the Ring?

>>81727233
>>81728651

I haven't read the books. What would be the outcome if this happened?

>>81728569
technically black holes are already invisible

Throw it inside a barrel, fill it with concrete, go to the Mariana trench and throw it there.

>>81728715
That is the joke.

>>81728711
Some other valar or maia or some shit like that would have put it on and bring about a new era of darkness and fucked up Sauron and Middle Earth.

>>81728702

the ring being magical is definitely going to give you ass cancer

>>81728709
Yes.

>>81728709
I mean, if volcano did it?

>>81728769

Aren't the Valar way beyonď the power bestowed by the ring?

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Ive never seen a more clusterfucked yet hilarious thread in ages

>>81728800

That's because it was forged there and magic

Just hide it, it took them thousands of years or something to find it in a river.

reminder that dragonfire can melt the ring. if smaug grilled bilbo when they faced each other, sauron would be defeated

>>81728709
>>81728800

it was protected by magic, so it needed a magic volcano to melt it. i can imagine the sun is 100000000 more magical than mount doom in tolkien world though.

>>81728812
Chances are a Maia or whatever would have had to bring the treasure to them first. And those guys are very much able to get corrupted.

>>81728874
WHAT THE FUCK?

WE COULD SEND A HUMAN SACRIFICE INTO SMAUGS KEKSHED AND END THIS IN A MOMENT

FUCK HACKSON AND FUCK CHOKIEN

is there any other place or object on earth where/with which you could destroy the ring if you imbued it with magic? What magic would it take? I'm sure there is another way

>>81728783
>there's an invisible turd poking out of your ass

>>81728905
Smaug is dead anon

>>81729002
dragonfire

>>81727796
if middle earth is flat you could technically go to the other side of mount doom and dig a hole there.

>>81729009
Goddamn it anon.

>>81729019
The ring existed before he was dead

All of this debate is taking place before the ring is destroyed, including when smaug lived.

>>81728883
I don't remember the sun being discussed in any of the Tolkien lore really

>>81726945

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>yfw autists 70 years later defeat your fantasy world by shooting it into space on a dragon fire rocket that was forged in frodos asshole

>>81726850
Hide it up my ass

>>81728905
Smaug died before LOTR occurred.
Also in The Hobbit, no one knew about the sacred ring yet.

>>81729066

Why would you do that to yourself tho? You've seen where it leads. The ring is never yours.

>>81729101
Oh come on, who here wouldn't want to be the Lord of the rings

>>81729099
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdPauuzwHSQ

Wrong

>>81726850
Tape it to Tom Bombadil's face and tatoo a note on his hand

Give it to Thor so he can fly up and give it to Spock and then they can find Luke and together they can come back and use all their power to destroy the ring.

>>81729161
>now, anon, you truly are The Lord of The Rings™

For fuck's sake /tv/

So can it only be destroyed in Mt Doom because of magical reasons or was it due to the heat of a volcano and Mt Doom is just the closest most convenient volcano?

>>81729048
The ring was lost underwater, then Gollum found it, then Bilbo gets it like a week before Smaug dies

Use the ring as honypot of course
>Pick a easily defendable valley with a choke point.
>Hide Elf archers and men/women archers
>Put the ring on
>Wait until Sauron dispatches his Nazgûls.
>Take them out
...
> Go to one end of the world, far from Mordor, gather some men and elves to make it look like I am building an army
>Put the ring on.
>Wait until Sauron dispatches his huge ass army
>Wait until the army is nearby, then, pack up and leave.
>Harass and cut their supply line
>Go to another corner of the world, Put the ring on again
>Keep doing this until all of Saurons army is spent.
>Walk into Mordor and bitchslap Sauron.
Keep the ring for myself because I deserve it.

>>81728711
The Valar would probably sense the rings presence as soon as it is brought into Valinor. And Sauron would probably conquer Middle Earth without it anyway. His grip over it wouldn't be very strong, but at the very least every mentioned character would probably die.

Clever idea though. It's amusing to picture Sauron frantically searching for his ring only to find out that its stowed away in some treasure room in Ilmarin.

>>81728874
>>81728905
I know this is /tv/ and I shouldn't expect much but cmon guys.

>Your small fire, of course, would not melt even ordinary gold. This Ring has already passed through it unscathed, and even unheated. But there is no smith’s forge in this Shire that could change it at all. Not even the anvils and furnaces of the Dwarves could do that. It has been said that dragon-fire could melt and consume the Rings of Power, but there is not now any dragon left on earth in which the old fire is hot enough; nor was there ever any dragon, not even Ancalagon the Black, who could have harmed the One Ring, the Ruling Ring, for that was made by Sauron himself.

>>81726850
Put it in a locked safe, then put that safe in another locked safe, and then that one in another. Drop the keys in random holes in the ground across Middle-Earth. Also the safes are made of some indestructible magic shit so you can't open them without keys. Find a nice big-ish but not too steep hill out in the middle of nowhere and climb to the top with the safe in hand. Close your eyes and spin around on the spot as fast as you can for a few seconds until you have no idea which way you are facing. Roll down the hill still clutching the safe and closing you eyes, and start digging a hole wherever you end up (it would be handy to have some kind of shovel or something). Your eyes should still be closed. Once the hole is sufficiently deep, dump the safe in there and re-cover it. Run/walk for at least a kilometre or two in a direction of your choosing. Spin around on the spot like you did on the hill, then run another few hundred meters. Then open your eyes and fuck off wherever. Or kill yourself, to be REALLY sure.

>>81726850
i'd return it to its rightful owner

sauron did nothing wrong

>>81729101
I wouldn't want to up until I had it

That's how the ring works

>>81729214
delete this

theres an arbitrary boundary determined by angels that determines which lava is still mount doom and which is no longer mount doom

>>81729214
I believe due to it being forged in that fire or whatnot

>>81729202
Well fuck you too then good sir, you can show your snarky bitch ass out of here
Reading LoTR as a kid of course I wanted to be the Lord of the rings

>>81729271
Yea but the lava in a volcano is part of the lava in the core of the earth.

So all lava should work right? Can't I just go to another volcano or is >>81729268
right and there's a council of dick angels that want to make this hard on everyone.

>>81729214
it's because of magical reasons

gandalf mentions he doubts even dragon fire would be hot enough

>>81729300
It's magic I ain't gotta explain shit

>>81729247
Nigga was literally gay. That's enough.

>>81729268
People forget that it's not even lava from Mount Doom in general that will do the trick; the Ring has to be destroyed at Sammath Naur, Sauron's forge inside Mount Doom. That's the only place that'll work because magic.

I'd ask the Valars and Illulvatar to stop being a bunch of assholes who only move their asses when they are directly threatened and have them come to Middle Earth and deal with the mess their own fucking fallen Maiar made.

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>>81729331
>And Sammath Naur extends from 134'05 SE to 139'30 NW

>>81729300
It is very ridiculous, true.

Feed it to the balrog

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>bad guy is called Sauron
>bad guy's right hand man is called Sauron-Man
BRAVO TOLKIEN.

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>work undercover in Sauron army
>get Sauron trust and be bros with him
>Sauron shows you Mt Doom and than throw ring into the fire

>>81729330
if sucking melkor's colossal valar dong is wrong then i don't want to be right

Go to the bridge of Kazad-Dum ane throw it at the Cthulhus who live in the depths of the earth.

>>81729374

a Balrog of fucking MORGOTH with the ring is basically giving the ring to Sauron

>>81729435
I dont know anything

>>81729412
you can't willingly destory the ring.

Even Frodo failed to do it. It only got destroyed because Gollum accidentally fell

>>81729412
>hey kid wanna see some lava?

Why didn't Frodo just train a normal bird to fly the ring to Mordor?

>>81729458
*destroy

>>81729458
>you can't willingly destroy the ring
Nice headcanon.

>ask to see the elves leave Middle Earth
>once they are far enough throw the Ring into one of their ships
>"It's your problem now, faggots!"
>run

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Why didn't the fellowship just develop combined arms tactics and smash through Sauron's army in a blitzkreig like fashion?

Find scientists and make a hot air balloon with harpoons.

Get a team of Legolas tier archers (3 of them) and maybe 1 magician.

Then we can probably fly to Gondor high enough to not worry about arrows and hopefully we'd be able to defeat nazguls thrown at us.

Why didn't they just give the ring to him if it was impossible to get rid of without some form of divine intervention?

Millions of people in history have succumb to the threat of violence, it's the only reason we have order in society.

>>81729502
it's implied heavily in the book, and spelled out explicitly in the tolkien's letters. it's why Sauron didn't bother posting guards there.

you can put it away, or hide it somewhere, but it was beyond anyone alive in ME at that time to actually destroy it.

>>81729549
>Sauron summons a storm in Mordor and your faggy balloon gets struck by lightning.

This plan is even worse than the eagles.

>>81729522
nice
This is how you make a sequel.

Many anons here seem to forget that hiding the Ring isn't enough, you need to destroy it.
By the time lf LotR Sauron is already powerful enough to conquer Middle Earth without the One Ring.

>>81729569
Alright I'm going to need a list of all the bullshit Sauron can pull so I can plan better.

I would seduce Sauron

>>81729567
Wtf nigger of course you fight for independence of your own society

>>81726850
put it in a jail cell and wait for Sauron to materialize in the jail cell and then he'll be stuck in jail forever.

where do I collect my award?

>>81726850
>how would YOU get rid of this motherfucker?
I wouldn't. I know who I am. I would go full on Gollum mode.

>>81729604
He can put a really big dildo out of his femboy ass.

>>81726989
How small is your dick?

>reading this whole thread
What a fucking hassle can getting rid of this goddamn ring be

>>81729667
The ring abjust to the size of the wearer remember?

>>81729632
You dont fight an unwinnable war, that's fucking stupid

That's how whites survived, we were taken over by romans and became christcucks, but we didn't all just keep fighting an unwinnable war

>>81729219
>arrows killing nazguls
nigga what

Recruit an army of dwarves with diamond pickaxes to tunnel into Mt Doom.

Get a bucket of lava and drop the ring in there.
Done. Easy lemon squeeze-y

>>81729684

but the fellowship won so it clearly is not unwinnable

>>81729684
uncle /pol/ why are you guys such defeatists all the time?

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>this fucking thread
>all these autists

>>81729604
He can pull a lot lf shit:
>shapeshifting (but can't take beautiful forms after the Numenor ruse)
>evil sorcery (which is ambigous as fuck)
>evil blacksmithing
>god-tier charisma
>god-tier cunning
>supernatural control over Mordor
>can't die as long as the Ring exists
>can summon a spooky fire eye
And a lot of other shit I can't remember right now.

>>81729684
Hahahahahahaha
there are loads of examples where nations have defended their independence against all odds

>>81729679
>What a fucking hassle can getting rid of this goddamn ring be
exactly. it's so much easier just to turn the ring over to Sauron, in exchange for not getting tortured too badly

>>81729300
MOUNT DOOM IS DIFFERENT

DELET THIS

>>81729738
Cant die. Period.

>>81729754
Why are you getting so triggered by this though?

>>81729741
>there are loads of examples where nations have defended their independence against all odds

Yeah, just like Gondolin.

Oh wait.

>>81729637
I wouldn't even bother to try. I mean, have you seen how much fucking walking it takes to reach Mordor? Too much exercise for me.

>>81729162
Bilbo knew about that ring, but he didn't know that that ring is something bad and must be destroyed.
The one who found out that the ring must be destroyed is Gandalf, and this event occurred in LoTR, not The Hobbit.

>>81729754

Are you hiding something here, Sauron?

>>81729066
oh, i get it now. you are invisible

>>81729754
I say it's the only volcano in ME. Case closed faggots

>>81729374
Balrog with ring >>>> Sauron without the ring

Offer Sauron the ring and my servitude. Work my way towards that tasty prime man meat, and other shit, I guess.

>>81729796
if you don't want to walk it, why not just ride an eagle to mordor?

>>81728263
more like ripping his ass and probing his bowel

>>81726850
I would use Magic™ to delete it out of existence.

>toss the ring away
>get buttfucked by Saurons inevitable conquering army

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>>81726850
Why not cast the ring into the shadow realm?

>>81729820
gandalf could make a new volcano

shoot it with a gun

How was Gandalf and everyone so certain on how the ring could and could not be destroyed?

Theyd never destroyed it so how would they know it could be destroyed there or anywhere?

Ill accept they did a process of elimination with other methods but theres no way of knowing the destroying way would work.

Further they have no way of knowing whether throwing it in Mt Doom wouldnt cause a chain reaction that would lead to their total death and loss.

Hiding the ring infinitely would have been the only prudent move.

Give it to Shelob

>>81729958
Because Saruman read the idiots guide to ring forging and learned how to destroy it

>>81729459
kek
sauron can't be this stupid

>the nazgul this the nazgul that
Man gimme that fucking ring and I dare a nigga come and get it. Bitch Ass clown skeleton Tryna start a fight I sure as hell am gonna finish it. Man I wish a nigga would.

>>81729958
Gandalf was a demigod so his higher ups probably told him. Or the elves did, I doubt the ring was the first soul jar ever made in the history of the world

>>81730027
How did they know how it could be destroyed? They know all things? But they didnt know Frodo would destroy it?

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>>81729738
We just have to bypass sauron's magical compressor

>>81729958
They understood magic rings well enough, Gandalf and the elves I mean

>>81729412
>>81729459
I want a Romeo + Juliet style modern setting remake of LotR like this
>Sauron as a mob boss
>I treat him like a son, I let him into Mordor and break bread with him and this is how he repays me? By tossing my magical ring of power into a volcano?

>>81729958
Probably due to some rule about magic things being able to be destroyed only by their creator or where they were created.

>>81730079
You just reminded me of that LotR/Goodfellas thread

New thread when? These topic are obviously important

>>81730052
I don't know if they can see the future but at least one of them would probably be familiar with forging magical items and the rules involved, and elves have been around long enough to pass around the info if they're the ones with the experience there

>>81729667
nigh invisible

>>81729958
>Hiding the ring infinitely would have been the only prudent move.
that would have fucked them over. sauron didn't necessarily need the ring to win, he wanted it back to keep his enemies from using it, and because it was part of him. it absolutely had to be destroyed, not hidden.

>>81730118
New thread here
>>81730176

>>81730176

Give it to sauron and be his loyal servant

>>81727013
this post needs more attention

>>81729058
I remember something along the lines that the sun and the moon are actually two things carried by some guy on a flying sled across the world. I may be wrong though.

>>81727062
>osse
>an even bigger dick
>gets told off once by his wife after making a few waves and proceeds to spend the rest of eternity as a beta bitch who occasionally tips over sailor boats when Ulmo isn't looking

>>81727360
black Numenorians got a pretty sweet deal

>>81727393
>a crack team of Legolas, Elrond's kids and motherfucking Glorfindel
The rest of your post actually makes a lot of sense, but this doesn't - elves are easier to corrupt than men.

>>81727545
>can the ring corrupt what is dead?
uh, yeah - the fucking ring wraiths??

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>>81727010
what ? you want 10k$ for this ring ?
I give you 800$, this is the best I can do

>>81730568
They're not dead, the rings' power extended their lifespan and eventually moved them to a different world, saurons plain of existance

>>81727804
how many did he fuck?

>>81730627
> grants you invisibility and eternal life?
> I give you $10 tops

>>81726950
WELKOM TO THE HYDROOLIC PRESS CHANELL

NEW THREAD
>>81730176
>>81730176
>>81730176
>>81730176
>>81730176
>>81730176

>>81730695
The witch king fucking dies and is resurrected in the Hobbit by the 'Necromancer'. All the kings had to die before becoming wraiths.

>>81730938
So he's not dead theb

>>81727034

Anon has no penis.