>"The fuck you say to me? No no no, don't laugh,

>>81717317
I REALIZE JONAH HILL HAS COPPED A LOT OF FLAB IN RECENT YEARS FOR NOT STRAYING TOO FAR FROM COMEDY AND TUCKING INTO MUCH MEATIER ROLLS BUT THERE'S A LOT MORE TO THIS MAN THAN MEETS THE RIBEYE AND IT 145 KB PNG TURNS OUT HE'S REALLY AN ALL-ROUND GOOD GUY IF EVERYONE ON HERE COULD GET OFF THEIR HIGH WHORES FACE THE COLD HARD FATS AND STOP PUDDING HIM DOWN FOR TWO SECONDS THEY'D REALIZE BEING A FRY IN THE OINTMENT ISN'T ALWAYS A PIECE OF CAKE IF THERE IS SUBWAY YOU COULD FIND IT IN YOUR HEARTS TO SHOW THE MILF OF HUMAN KINDNESS TOWARDS JONAH YOU MIGHT COME TO SEE THE REASON HE'S REGARDED WIDELY BY HIS PEERS AND IS POUND FOR POUND A TRUE HEAVYWEIGHT OF THE HOLLYWOOD SCENE AS JONAH HIMSELF ONCE SAID WHEN I'M SORTING THE BEEF FROM THE CHAFF L ALWAYS BEER IN MIND EVERY HOTDOG HAS HIS DAY WHEN THE CHIPS ARE BROWN YOU'VE JUST GOTTA KEEP YOUR EGGS HELD HIGH AND REMEMBER THAT A BURGER IN THE HAND IS WORTH CHEWING THE BUSH

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>when you worry every day the jonah meme will die but it still hangs in there

>>81717317
Wow did he really say this? Jesus.

Someone post the one where he pulls out the gun

>>81717415

i love this meme. it reminds me of all those times i came up with great comebacks days later

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>>81717317
>*looks behind* I'm sorry, did you say that to me? You sure it wasn't that guy in the back? You sure? *pulls out .45* Positive? What are you looking at that for? Look at me. Look me in the eyes and tell me again you were talking to me. What, has a snail got your tongue? FUCKING SAY IT! There, was that so hard? Fucking bitch disrespecting me. I've been trying to shed the pounds, you know hard that is? Growing up looking like me you get all kinds of bullying, but you wouldn't understand. You've had everything handed to you. Everything in your dull, lifeless, weather girl life has lead to this moment. Come here- HEY KEEP THE FUCKING CAMERAS ON US! NOBODY ELSE MOVE. Now come here, I've got something for you *unzips pants* Best 15 minutes you'll ever get.

>>81717710

alright now THIS is how it's done

>>81717317
>Well fuck you, bitch. You know why I left? Cuz I went to fuck your who're of a mother in the other room, you fucking spitroasted slut.

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how long are we going to continue to do this?

It's mathematical fact....


no matter what Johan 'The Hill' Feldstein says he will loose.

It's like a pair of 2s v. 3 aces

>>81717933
Hi, frenchie.

what if like the entire multiverse theory hinged on this moment in time and in all of them he can't make a witty comeback

>>81717983
Hi, fatty

>>81717933
Fuck off, you French whore.
You hurt Jonah's feelings.

>>81717317
If you bring up military or money or any other thing that is not personal, you lose by default.

Why autists cant comprehend this is beyond me.

>>81718049
I have seen perfect comebacks thought up by anons. Its possible

>>81718082
>rich people never bring up money to win arguments


t. reddit

>>81717317
our boy is at again


https://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=nW0RK9ho4XY

>>81718140
but the delivery would be amiss. infinite chances and never a perfect comeback.

>>81718066
Hot chick defeats fatty every time. It's just reality.

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>>81717317

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>>81718423
Whatever you say kid

You need to be powerful to inspire some sort of affection

I shed your body weight yearly in my weight fluctuations. Know what that means? I could kill you. I could eat you. And flush it all down the toilet. People would just think, there Jonah goes again, gaining and losing weight. But it wasn't Subway I lost. Oh no. It'd be you. And I hate French food. You'd go down doused in ketchup you smug frog, down in red and out in brown.

>>81718554
Classy Jonah!

Jonah has definitely posted one of these

>>81717933
ribbit ribbit you dumb frog

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>Yeah well at least my country didn't surrender like a bunch of pussies as soon as we were attacked by a foreign invader in World War II you fucking frog cunt. You're welcome for the Marshall Plan by the way, you're roastier than the 5 pounds of beef I put on my subway footlongs you wicked bitch.

>>81718374
Holy shit. What an autist.

Based Jonah!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nW0RK9ho4XY

Jonah is like a real-world sitcom protagonist. He just can't catch a break.

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>Look, I get it. You're trying to look 'cool' in front of the cameras on your little b-show in fucking FRANCE of all places. I get that it's your shtick, and man, what a shtick! I mean, really! If I wasn't getting disrespected here, I would be laughing my butt off! Let me ask you a question: Have you ever written a show or movie before? No, don't answer yet. Have you ever acted in a masterpiece like "Moneyball"? No, I don't think you did! You know what, I'll just call my buddy Brad, maybe he saw you at the set, cause I sure as shit didn't.

>*pulls out flip phone*

>"Ah, yeah, hey Brad. Some bitch says she'd like to fuck you. What? Oh, maybe a 4, 5 if she wore make up... but anyways, do you remember seeing some crack whore looking French bitch at the set of Moneyball? No, huh? Oh well, thanks Brad. Yeah, I'll meet you at that orgy later. Bye". Hmm... well, I don't know if you heard that, but even Mr. Pitt can't remember seeing you in the set of Moneyball, so I guess you weren't in it? Oh, that's right, while I was mastering the skill of acting working alongside all time greats, you, yes you, you ugly fucking cunt, YOU were one this faggy baguette eating show, trying to get one over guests who I'M SURE are more talented than you will ever be, not that that's saying much, as you have about as much talent in your whole body as I do on the tip of my big circumcised cock. So you know what sweetheart? I'll let this one slide. But next time you disrespect me, I'll fucking destroy you. And don't worry, Brad will be there, but he won't be fucking you, no, he'll be in the corner filming all of this and putting it on DirtyFrenchWhores.co.fr or whatever fucking ending websites have in this gay country. I wanna see you shittalk me then, you cunt.

And that's how you do it!

>>81718554
Thanks for the chuckles anon

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>>81717317
>"s-so ok, I... well I d-don't care. I just signed up to a gym near home and I will get into shape and you will fuck me and love it. Do you like tits? Do you like lose skin? Brad has lose skin, I will have niles of flab skin and you will suck and munch and motorboat my man titties and I will make you my lose tummy bitch. You will grab it and will wrap around it in winter and call me daddy and suck my wrinkled nipples

can't he just hit her?

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>"Hahaha wanna jump in here Miles? You fucking goofy faggot who sucked his way to the middle of Hollywood? HEY EVERYBODY THIS GUYS A FUCKING PROSTITUTE. You really gonna laugh at me after all I've done for you? Who told the Rabbi to ask the producer to give you the job? WHO MILES? IT WAS ME. FUCKING ME. And you sit here and laugh at me along with this stupid fucking whore? Don't walk away Miles. Come back here, come right fucking back here. That's it, sit down. Don't look at me in the eyes. Don't fucking look me in the eyes. You fucking faggot. I'm gonna end your career. You like being on TV Miles? The next time anyone see's your fucking goofy ass is when they're watching a commercial for life insurance. You fucking nothing. I don't even care what she said, I thought we were friends. We're both Jews, you're just another kike that would've sold us to Hitler you traitorous piece of shit. A fucking nazi, that's what you are. A nazi goyim, worse than the goyim, you are a pebble under my shoe filled with shit."

>>81720154
Maybe he will be able to build a time machine with all the excess skin this time around.

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>>81719856

>>81717317
Oh yeah? WELL THE JERK STORE IS ALL OUTTA YOU!

Good meme

>*unsheathes sub*

>>81717317
>"Yeah I'd fuck Brad Pitt over you too"

Short, sweet and insulting.

>>81723078
>"I don't think you're his type sweetheart."

AMERICA BTFO

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>>81723223
YOU JUST CAN'T WIN

>What? What? What?

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Jonah: No more threesomes.
Host: What?
Jonah: I said, no more threesomes. Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been in France a long time. They didn't go over there and tell you. I don't arrange threesomes anymore.
Host: Relax, will ya? Ya flip right out, what's got into you? I'm breaking your balls a little bit, that's all. I'm only kidding with ya...
Jonah: Sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding, you know, there's a lotta people around...
Host: I'm only kidding with you, we're having a show, I just came home and I haven't seen you ever and I'm breaking your balls, and you're getting fucking fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
Jonah: I'm sorry too. It's okay. No problem.
Host: Okay, salud.
Host: [takes a drink] Now go home and get your fuckin' friends.
Jonah: Mother fuckin' mutt! You, you fucking piece of shit!
Host: [taunting] Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, come on, come on!

>>81718415
No it wouldn't tho.

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>>81723223
DELET

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>>81719856

>>81718049
Holy shit I havnt laughed that hard all day

If a guy had pulled shit like this Jonah would have torn into his ass. But it was a girl so he realized that it was a lose/lose.

>SHE'S A FROG! SHE'S A FROG!

>>81723223
Fuck this is giving me high school bullying flashbacks

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>>81723823
Ha, this is the best.

>>81723823
>I don't arrange threesomes anymore.

this is the line that kills me

>>81723223
Why anon? I just had PTSD

>>81717317
Best one yet imo

>Oh yeah well maybe I leave because Im queer. I'm gay. I'm homosexual. I'm a poof, I'm a poofter, I'm a ponce. I'm a bumboy, baddieboy, backside artist, bugger. I'm bent. I am that arsebandit. I lift those shirts. I'm a faggot-ass, fudge-packing, shit-stabbing uphill gardener. I dine at the downstairs restaurant, I dance at the other end of the ballroom. I'm Moses and the parting of the red cheeks. I fuck and I am fucked. I suck and I am sucked. I rim them and wank them, and every single man's had the fucking time of his life. And I am not a pervert. If there's one twisted bastard in this family, it's this little blackmailer here. So congratulations. I've just officially outed you.

>I'll have you fucking sniped

>>81717317
Someone redpill me on this meme

>fat kike gets roasted by a euro

history repeating.

>>81717317
>Heh, that's funny. That's real funny actually. Did you come up with that yourself? Ah, ah, ah don't answer that, we both know the answer. That was just some wisecrack the studio execs told you to make wasn't it? My god you're just unbelievable. What's next a fat joke? A virgin joke? Don't just sit there, answer me!... Nothing huh? Can't come up with your own words. You and I both know there's nothing real about you at all. Oh sure you come across as all young and free and independent but we both know you're nothing without a man. Look at your disgusting fantasy; it's not enough for you to have just one man, you've got to have two don't you? You're a real piece of work lady. But me? I'm a real person. I have depth. I'm more than the sum of my sexual partners but you? You're just another two dollar bit prostitute. I think I'm done here. H-HEY! DON'T POINT THAT CAMERA AT ME. DON'T. LOOK. AT MEEEEEEEEEE

>>81723823
>I don't understand the premise of this meme

>the joke is that none of us would want to fuck an old whore like you right? How many more years you got doing this? 2? 3? I'll be fucking any girl I want til I'm dead, and you're gonna be stuck with some loser til he dumps your ass, at which point you get to die alone. Enjoy the laughs, and enjoy watching me win oscar after oscar. Maybe if they have some French game show awards and you get nominated for one I'll watch it. Otherwise I'll probably forget about you. Like everyone else will.

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>>81717710
>has a snail got your tongue?

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>>81725378
Simple. Clear. Brilliant.

>>81726289
That pasta's been going around since the day it happened.

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>>81717317
listen mate if u wanna keep trolling me thats fine but im tired of being internet bullied honestly. in school im very popular and have very good grades which is not something many people can say. my parents are divorced but that doesnt matter. just let me be part of this community... ok?

>>81717317
legit good

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>>81717317
>the french woman tells her joke
>Jonah has no emotion in his face
>french woman keeps chuckling while processing what's going on
>the chuckling slows down
>paradoxically Jonah is visibly upset yet emotionless
>Jonah lunges from his chair and punches the host in the face
>the audience lets out a collective gasp followed by screams
>she drops but Jonah follows her on her descent, punching her along the way
>her face fractures and caves in, yet Jonah's hand is uninjured as he continues his assault
>the audience is either crying, vomiting, screaming, or a combination of the three and of which the people screaming vomit are the most amusing
>the host's face is completely gone, all that remains is a puddle of bone, grey matter, and flesh, yet Jonah keeps punching
>finally an executive gathers himself long enough to cut the video feed

>>81728795
still doesn't fit the thread. also it's not funny and has the host inexplicably act like fucking joe pesci

>>81717933
*lose

>le funny young fat guy

>Why would Brad and Leo hire a prostitute?

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>>81718082
incorrect

this is the official response he should have used:
>"Ok, how much money should they bring?"

>>81732948
>"Your friends are free but you'll have to pay"

>>81717317
He isnt that great of an actor to be so smug. He is a rich kid that they thought YOU would like.

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>>81719856
10/10

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>>81723223

>>81718049
Thanks for the laugh

Someone post the gun pasta

>>81729520
>host inexplicably act like fucking joe pesci

Well yeah, it's from Goodfellas. But Jonah is Pesci, the host is Billy Batts.

>>81734250
>Jonah Hill reaches into his waistband and places a loaded firearm onto the table
"No please, don't let me interrupt you. Please finish what you were saying."
>the french interviewer can only gape her mouth in stunned disbelieve as a hush falls over the crowd
"Oh this? This is a gun. They are legal in my country, which is why we don't have mudslime terrorizing our streets."
>Jonah picks up the firearm and points it directly in the face of the french whore
"To get back to the topic - I believe you were discussing how unattractive I am. And how you would like to fuck my best friends?"
>He smirks. A mirthless, cold expression that would seem more familiar on a shark or a wolf, than the portly comedic actor we all know and love.
"I wonder how many men will want to fuck you after your face is nothing but a congealed mess of brain matter and bone."

BANG

>>81734595
Classic Jonah

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>stupidbitchessaywhat

>>81735469
Excusez-moi?

>>81717317
>"Oh, so, I just leave? like this?" he say's rising from his chair. He turns and begins walking towards the exit. He trips, falls to the floor, the camera shakes. An extra approaches to help him up, he swats them away as he rises shakily to his feet, tears streaming from his face. he stands there a moment, face reddening, then grabs the pistol in his waist, shoves the end in his mouth to the gasps and screams of the audience. he pulls the trigger, click. nothing, he pulls again. he takes the gun out, looks at it quizzically through his tears. The cracked floor below him gives

Guys im new here. Can you explain this meme please ?

>>81736406
>Spoonfeed me

>>81724591
Is this the Kramer defense?

>>81729520
it's funny and fits the thread, you're just a pissy autist

>>81736544
im not kidding

Imagine being the weather girl in that show and having to be all like "damn, Jonah Hill, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your fat body and disgusting jew neckbeard. I would totally have sex with you, both my character and the real me." when all she really wants to do is fuck another A-list celebrity in her dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be her and not only sit in that chair while Jonah Hill Feldstein flaunts his retarded humor in front of you, the favorable audience and fake laughter barely concealing how unfunny and lame he is, and just sit there, joke after joke, hour after hour, while he perfected that act. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking visage but his haughty attitude as everyone on set tells him he's A SERIOUS ACTOR and DAMN, JONAH HILL FELDSTEIN ACTS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his retarded manchild face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of show producers and sportsmen and later alleged rapists for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Algeria. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the booger that's falling out of his ugly hooked nose as he licks it off to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in his "scorsesesque (for that is what he calls himself)" character, the character he worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous years. And then the producer calls for an apology, and you know you could blow every single person in this room before anyone even starts caring, but you sit there and endure, because you're the fucking weather girl. You're not going to lose your future minor role in a romcom over this. Just bear it. Apologize and bear it.

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>>81729420

Jonah's "country", i.e. the Israelite tribes, surrendered with even less of a fight than the French, so all of those WW2 references don't work.

>>81736585
It's self explanatory
>>81736761
He's American stop reaching.

>He laughs a few honest chuckles, the audience laughs a little too, they think the joke has landed in an amiable way.
>Miles gives Jonah a look and a pat on the back.
>Jonah looks down at the ground, everyone assumes he's thinking of a comeback.
>Actually looking for his checkbook.
>Hosts are confused as he pulls it out and searches for a pen, they glance to producers off-screen, waiting for someone to tell them what's going on.
>Jonah takes his time writing, feels like an eternity.
>One hosts begins to make a joke, Jonah raises a single finger, silencing the room.
>He tears off the check and slides it in front of her.
>She is visibly flustered.
>"J-je ponne du fromage et courgette eugh pluuhhh?" (translation: "I-I don't understand?")
>"Keep it. You've earned it. That was a great joke."
>The other hosts lean in to see what he's written, they're instantly flabbergasted, the audience doesn't know what to make of the scene -- even Miles is confused.
>"Pluuuhhhh je'taime frondet frogi-snails?" (translation: But this is six million dollars?")
>"Keep it, really. You've earned it."
>"You've earned it."

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>>81736969
>Pluuuhhhh je'taime frondet frogi-snails
>J-je ponne du fromage et courgette eugh pluuhhh

Jesus fucking christ

>>81736969
THE SIX MILLION

*chuckles* "yeah you look like The type of girl who likes to be spitt roasted"

>>81738770
This! Nothing hurts a roasty more than being shamed for her sexuality.

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>>81723223
fuck

>>81717457
kek, its the best one

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>>81738770
I like it

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>>81723223
hehehehehe

Did Jonah really flip out at this frechistan lady?

beware the void

>>81739504
No, that's why these threads exist, he creates them to gauge what the appropriate comeback would've been for future reference.

>>81718082
This.

>>81719206
Terrible. Kill yourself you pathetic faggot.

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Do you think Jonah sodomized this whore after the interview?