We've had a movie set in the time of Marcus Aurelius. We've

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fuck the senate

Tfw no septimus severus wrecking shit

>>81616441
I want a kino that follows the events surrounding the "official" date of collapse in 476 and the consolidation of power and rise of the Franks, maybe even the Goths, Vandals and other various tribes.

Who would direct such a kino?

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Horror movie about the Teutoberg Forest WHEN?

>>81617940
No one, because european history is anti-semetic

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Why do I feel like I'm the only fucktard on 4chan who doesn't know the entire history of roman empire or doesn't speak latin language? Why do you fuckers always talk about this shit like it's highschool math?
I don't care about some italian homosexuals from 2000 years ago

>>81617940
Including the Franks and Goths, that's a lot of ground to cover. It would be more kino just sticking to Romulus Augustus or Julius Nepos and witnessing events from their perspective kind of like with Vorenus/Pullo in HBO Rome

>>81618007
But imagine, a grand undertaking, on par to that of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I wouldn't expect such a massive slew of events to be condensed into one movie. It could be split up over the course of time, or it could just be a TV show, like with Rome (which is fucking goat). I just want that event adapted to the screen.

>>81618000
If you don't care then fuck right off faggot. Maybe read a goddamn book once in awhile instead of shitposting constantly. All of the information is literally at your fingertips

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>>81618000
What a fucking retard

>>81618000
>Romans
>homosexuals
They had a great disdain for being catchers. If any fagshit happened, it was always with Romans on top. To be a catcher was the ultimate shame.

Also read a book nigger

>>81617940
>The last ruler of the eternal city was named Romulus Augustus
POETRY

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>Becomes Emperor, manages to finally start pushing the Arabs back from Anatolia
>Rules too harshly, is deposed and gets his nose cut off
>Exiled to the Crimea
>Allies with the Khan of the Khazars
>Sails back to Thrace on a fishing boat, almost drowns in the middle of the Black Sea
>Sneaks into Constantinople through a disused aqueduct, retakes the palace
>Publicly tortures and executes the guys who deposed him
>Becomes even more tyrannical, starts indiscriminately murdering people every day
>Army eventually gets sick of him and cuts his head off

This crazy bastard deserves his own movie

>>81618171
Not shame. Sure not everyone was into it but it was accepted.

Being the catcher essentially made you a woman in the eyes of others.

>>81618420
>Not shame
>Being the catcher essentially made you a woman in the eyes of others
How is that not shameful?

>first person of color transsexual ruler.
>considered one of the worst.
Really jimmies my neutrons

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>>81616441
I want a movie on the Punic wars.

>>81618499
Sure, if you wanted to be seen as a man to your peers but secretly liked taking it in the ass then it would be shameful. Like eating pussy meant you were a submissive beta in Roman society.

But dudes who were open to it didn't really care and weren't typically in positions of authority anyways so their "manhood" wasn't challenged.

>>81618000
Based frog and based digits, I totally agree with you.

>>81616441
>We've had massive Julius Caesar spam over the years.
IDGAF.
Battle of Alesia movie when?

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WHERE'S MY JUSTINIAN AND THEODORA SERIES ON HBO

REEEEEEEEEE

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>>81618786
>tfw your elephants don't work.

>>81619070
>Procopius

90% of what that butthurt beta faggot wrote is bullshit.

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I just want Byzantine-kino

>a vision telling Constantine where to found his new empire, where the continents meet
>the Justinian period, The Nika riots, the expansion west, east and north
>the Iconoclasm
>the endless wars with the Arabs
>the wars with Bulgaria
>the schism
>the spreading of Orthodoxy to the north
>the crusades ending with the latins sacking Constantinople, forever shattering the most powerful empire in Europe for most of its 1000 year old history
>the wars with the Ottomans
>the fall of Constantinople:

>Before the beginning of the siege, Mehmed II made an offer to Constantine XI. In exchange for the surrender of Constantinople, the emperor's life would be spared and he would continue to rule in Mistra. As preserved by G. Sphrantzes, Constantine replied:

>"To surrender the city to you is beyond my authority or anyone else's who lives in it, for all of us, after taking the mutual decision, shall die out of free will without sparing our lives."

>Constantine led the defence of the city and took an active part in the fighting alongside his troops in the land walls. At the same time, he used his diplomatic skills to maintain the necessary unity between the Genoese, Venetian, and Greek troops.

>Constantine died the day the city fell, 29 May 1453. There were no known surviving eyewitnesses to the death of the Emperor and none of his entourage survived to offer any credible account of his death.

>According to Michael Critobulus (writing later in Mehmed's service) he remarked, "The city is fallen and I am still alive." Then he tore off his imperial ornaments so as to let nothing distinguish him from any other soldier and led his remaining soldiers into a last charge where he was killed.

Is this too much to ask?

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>>81619214
>Romulus founded Rome
>Augustus founded the Roman Empire
>Romulus Augustus was the last Western Emperor
>Constantine basically founded the capital of the Byzantine Empire
>Its last ruler was named Constantine

pottery

>>81619214
>Is this too much to ask?
but where are the strong women?

its kind of problematic how all the villains are muslim types

also where are the lgbt characters?

>>81619597
Theodora was pretty stronk, she built a lot of great stuff, including the Hagia Sophia.

There were other women of power as well.

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>>81619744
>tfw you try to troll but end up learning something useful

>>81619214
Also

>Byzantine navy being invincible with literal battlecruisers
>experimental weaponry that can btfo everything nearby in endless fire

>>81618338
Deposed, more like denosed

Aurelian literally has no movie about him.

>>81620175
>experimental weaponry that can btfo everything nearby in endless fire
elaborate

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>>81620354
Aurelian is far too patrician for modern audiences

>>81620538
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_fire

>>81620538
Look up Greek Fire

>>81616441
>>81617940
No one likes to see decline.

>>81620596
Why do people still watch Game of Thrones then

>>81619008
Wasn't the opening battle in the miniseries "supposed" to be Alesia?

>>81618000
ya know those forefathers everyone looks up to? Those guys read books the Romans wrote and basically founded their whole society on what those italian homosexuals wrote. Plus, the same few charavters tend to pop up over and over again. It's worth learning about them.

>>81619507
>Romulus Augustus was the last Western Emperor
>not recognizing the authority of Julius Nepos

a movie about Germanicus would be pure distilled kino

>>81621133
I'm a big jewish Hollywood company, sell this to me

>>81621570
well in short
>set in the Augustan era
>Germanicus was charismatic and competent
>next in line to be Emperor
>has a top tier political career
>commands a third of the entire roman army
>three successful campaigns against Germanic tribes
>recovers two of the three aquilas that were lost in the battle at Teutoburg forest
>conquers some more provinces in the east
>dies shortly after, possibly poisoned
Would all fit into one movie, finance it you kike

>>81621570
>*distorted version of "Erika" plays in the background
>IN A WORLD OF DARKNESS AND DESPAIR
>*cut to the Second Temple being destroyed by Germanicus, innocent Jews are being thrown into nroze ovens by bloodthirsty blonde Roman soldiers*
>FROM THE PRODUCERS OF GAME OF THRONES
>*Cut to Simon Bar Kokhba played by Seth Rogan*
>A HERO MUST RISE
>*Germanicus, an evil fascist Roman Emperor, is shown butchering small Jewish children while his legionaries give the roman salute in the background*
>EMPIRES WILL FALL
>*Rock music plays in the background as Boudicca is shown laying siege to Rome with Mumakil while Germanicus and Simon Bar Kokhba fight on top of the Colosseum, both duel wielding swords*
>COMING TO YOUR SCREENS THIS SUMMER
>Directed by Steven Spielberg

>>81618171
>hurr it's not gay if you're the one doin the pounding

romans were literally the "traps aren't gay!!" fags of their day. also they wore skirts

Never thought I'd see historyfags on /tv/

Nice work senpaitachi

>>81623021
Historical kino's are the best, especially if they're (mostly) accurate.

>>81617920
The eternal Celt would get too triggered

a film about stilicho would be bretty gud

>>81622789
Put a completely heterosexual man in prison and if he is a bad enough dude he will fuck another man. If he is weak he will get fucked. Nothing gay about it.

>>81623021
/tv/ has a pretty good amount of historical knowledge, but only when it is about the Romans

>>81622789
not true, and they noted homsexual activities amongst other cultures with a lot of disdain, like the Greeks, Barbars and Parthians. A popular joke was that you should never turn your back to a Parthian, one because it'd mean retreat (Rome suffered some shameful defeats by Parthia), two it would mean one of their archers might hit you and three you'd get buggered.

>>81620894
I mean a big budget 3 hour long epic that women will never understand where roman siege technology and the giant nuts of Caesar won the day.
Erecting a second encirclement of outward facing defenses almost over night, fighting and winning a siege while also fighting off an assault. Outnumbered almost 2 to 1.

Just seems like the kind of thing that would make a great movie.

>>81623397
Cast it. No picking HBO Rome actors for Caesar, Antony etc.

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>>81623491

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Flavius Valerius Aurelius Constantinus Augustus aka Constantine the Great aka Equal-to-the-Apostles, founder of the Nova Roma, Queen of Cities deserves a movie

>>81623491
> Idris Elba

>>81624223
WE

>>81624223
He can play Africanus

>>81618786
This. Make it two movies the first one from the point of view of Hannibal and the second from the point of view of Scipio

>>81619744
I don't mind the women of power stuff its never bothered me it's just the way they do it is so disingenuous and forced and makes me cringe literally and physically

>>81625724
Theodora genuinely deserves a movie though.

She ascended from the lowest of the low to the most powerful entity in the empire, other than the emperor, using her unending resolve and stubbornness.
Fuck, there's so many Byzantine eras and emperors that can make 10/10 god tier Thucydideskino it's absurd.

How has nobody mentioned Heraclius overthrowing Phocas and winning the war against Persia, the last great war of antiquity?

>>81626289
>Phocas
>being wrong

choose one

>>81626362
I never said he was wrong you spacker, I said he was overthrown.

CATO WAS THE LAST GREAT MAN IN ROME

>>81626742
>memes

>>81622789
>romans were literally the "traps aren't gay!!" fags of their day. also they wore skirts

This nigga can't tell apart ancient greeks and romans. Romans just took it over from them and still had some disdain and ridicule for them

>>81616441
>Marcus Aurelius

That one gladiator movie

That one time Marcus' son cumcut series

>>81620596

Then why do people cheer on immigration?

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PUNIC WARS EPIC TRILOGY WHEN

>>81626849
/his/fag here to clear the air once and for all.

The gay thing was just a form of shitposting and breaking balls. Sure, faggots existed back then just as they do today, but not to the point that everyone did gay orgies 24/7 as people make it out to be.

People were a lot more open-minded back then as well, because the church that described everything gay as the ultimate sin didn't exist yet.

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Find me a better porno kino with a top tier cast. I'll wait...

>>81618000
Now imagine being seemingly the only person who knows or talks about anything after Hannibal and before Caesar. People pretending they know jack shit about the Republic.

>>81619214
>constanmeme xi
What a joke, how his disguising himself as a peasant to escape and dying anonymously in the attempt became some kind of brave last stand, I'll never know.

>>81628542
>pretend to be knowledgeable
>coming with slander and no proofs or witness accounts

>>81616441
Literally just wrote a paper on that shit, spooky

>>81617986
Tfw no firt person video game fighting campains thru cesars and augusts civil wars mithradates war and teuteborg forest horor level

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Can we get a movie about Antiochus II?

>>81629281
That's Antiochus III

>>81628908
>pretend to be cognizant
>believing greeks or greekaboos, ever
I bet you hold Procopius to be a valid, reliable witness.

>>81616441
Plebs won't understand the full complexity, therefore it won't draw many dimes.

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>>81618338