>Producer: Here's our offer; one $200 Dave & Buster's

>>81574387
>I'm sorry Eric, we can go skittles OR pepsi, but both...I just can't see us coming to an agreement, I'm afraid.
>*Sigh*...oh well, sorry we couldn't work anything out.
>Click
>Phone rings 30 seconds later
>Hi it's Eric. Did you cast that role yet?

>Ring ring ring
>Hello?
>Sigh, i've gotta who's dick to get Emma's domestic abuse charges dropped?
>...
>I'm on my way...

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>>81574387
Would be really go so low?

>>81574551
I can't imagine he got paid much for recording his lines for A Talking Cat!?! over the phone

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>>81574512
>>Sigh, i've gotta who's dick to get Emma's domestic abuse charges dropped?

>>81574387
>movie maker: lol here is one dollar it's very little money :D
>eric boerts: thank you movie maker, this is lot of money for me :D
xD

>>81574626
hahahaha my sides are in orbit

>>81574626
Upvoted

>>81574626
Why did I laugh at the most retarded post ever made on /tv/

>>81574639
haha thanks dude here is another:
>movie maker: here you get only food and not even money if you do this movier robert :DD
>eric rober: okay I do it because I do lot of movies and don't want much money : D

>>81574707
That's not how the meme works, you fucking faggot.

>make sex tape
>eric roberts is fucking my gf in it
>all the loose change in my house is missing

>"Alright, for this next role we nee-"
>Mexican cleaning lady rips off her disguise and jumps onto the table

>>81574745
sorry man I'm new here :D
and I'm not gay btw
>movie maker: here erib you can have sandwich if you come to this movie eric :D
>eric robe: sure I do it for sandvich movei maker dude :D
>anon: that's not the meme you dip
fucking lol xD

>>81574387
>Hey, this is Eric Roberts. Did you cast that role yet?
>Who?
>ERIC ROBERTS
>I'm not following.
>E R I C R O B E R T S. Just google me.
>One minute...
>...
>*sigh* I guess we can cast you. How does a few peanuts I found lodged in the cushions of my car seat and this sticky bag of empty soda bottles sound?
>I want a pack of smokes too faggot.
>Ok, that works for us. Shouldn't we call your agent or something? We almost never have people apply to be extras directly.

>>81574512

>>81574854
Fucking kek, doing God's work anon

I don't get this meme at all.

Yes, he's got a lot of roles under his belt, but so what?

>>81574854
HAHAHA

>>81574829
underrated

>>81575450
A lot of roles is an understatement. Check his IMDB.
>30 (thirty) roles already planned this year alone

>>81577123
Ok, but why is that bad?

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>>81574626

>>81577148
Because every single one of them are low-budget garbage.

>>81577190
Not the guy you quoted, but he had a decent screen time in The Dark Knight.

>>81577417
okay that was 9 years ago what's your point?

>>81574626
whhhhhhooooo00000000OOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

>>81574856
>Just google me.
"Just Bing me" would also have been acceptable. Over all, 2/13.000

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>>81574387
>his daughter
Well, would you, /tv/?

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>>81574626
damn you're funny

can you also smile in Italian?

cos we really want you to take over eric's role in our upcoming movie... name your price, ofc you'll incur the usual fees of buying him out at the cost of parking ticket validation and a half chewed cigar.

>>81577417
Robert pls

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>>81574626
>eric boerts

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>>81574626

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>>81574626
sometimes its the simple jokes that are the funniest

>get sick and tired of Eric Robert's seemingly omnipresent appearance in all of my films
>tell him to leave the studio and never contact me again
>five days later he's back knocking on my door
>tell him yet again to fuck off, I'm sick of all his tricks
>he doesn't leave, says he's got one more role up his sleeves that he'll do for $1000
>keep insisting enough is enough, he should leave and never return
>"no silly, I'll give YOU $1000" he says
>I'm taken aback, because my last film flopped and I most definitely needed the money
>say fine, he can do just this last role
>"I've already done it" he says
>once again I'm dumbfounded, but knowing Eric, I entertain his nonsense
>"okay, Eric, what IS this role that you've done?"
>"follow me" he says
>he proceeds to escort me to a cabinet in the back of my room, where I've stored every film I've ever directed or starred in
>leads me to a section titled "personal"
>"trust me on this one" he says
>he then takes out a film that's titled "Anon's Baby Video June 30th 1992"
>"that's just one of my home videos, Eric" I say somewhat apprehensively
>he smirks and puts the tape into a VCR
>-Anon's Baby Video June 30th 1992-
>hear the lovely voice of my mom as the video fades into focus
>"say hi to daddy!" she says
>as the video pans out you can see it's my second birthday party and I'm on my mom's lap
>"see, it's just me as a baby. big fucking deal, Eric" I say
>"just watch" he says
>suddenly hear a knock on the door in the video
>my dad goes to answer it
>"hey, may I help you?"

>>81578790
>the figure in the door frame slowly turns
>"hey" the figure says
>the lighting adjusts and I can see that it's Eric fucking Roberts
>"I was just in the neighborhood when I noticed there seemed to be a party going on"
>he holds up a wrapped gift box to the camera
>"here, I owe this to your son"
>he slowly walks away, bearing a striking resemblance to John Wayne in The Searchers
>the tape stops
>I can barely muster the words "what... the... fuck"
>as I turn around I realize that Eric Roberts is nowhere to be found
>in a fit of mild confusion I rush towards my desk to call my mom and question her on this enigmatic man that has warped my perception of reality for better and for worse
>on my way to pick up the phone I become aware of a note left on the desk
>it reads: "Happy Birthday, Anon."- signed, E.R.
>next to it is the same gift box from my home video
>I open up the box to see what Eric had given me all those years ago
>it's $1000
>and that's the first and last time I've ever seen or heard from Eric Roberts

>>81578344
What, fuck an attractive woman?

Of course not

>crash car
>insurance not buying my story
>recover memory card from dash cam
>all this extra night footage of eric roberts at drive thrus using his fame to score free meals.

>>81574626
>>81574697
>>81577163
>>81578644
>>81578770
Shut up you fucking pussies

>>81574626
lol

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>found out on parents basement some childhood tapes of me as a baby
>found out all of my scenes had been played by Eric Roberts
>asked my parents what the fuck was that
>"Eric was cheaper honey, all he asked for was 5g of coke and a bottle of Jack"
>mfw

>>81579284
Erica Boberts detected

>Yes hello, we are calling because we want you in our new movie, how does $3 million sound?
>o my god yes of course!
>o im sorry Eric I didn't realize it was you, is your daughter home? can you put her on the phone?

>>81579284
Hey Eric, how much do you charge to play me at my wedding film?

>>81579493
5g is like $350
he'd probably do it for a single line

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>>81574626
kek

>>81579657
>5g is like $350

Maybe where you live.

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>>81578344
yes
but she has to play the role she did in scream queens during it

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>>81574387
A $200 D&B gift card would take you pretty far desu

>>81578344
I want her to spit in my mouth

>>81579755
Well yeah, but only if you want stuff that isn't cut to shit

>>81579791
wtf I'm in love now

Name the best Eric Roberts film.

>>81580468
Mr Brightside

>>81574829
You sure it wasn't Eric Roberts fucking you?

>>81580468
Stalked by my Doctor

>>81578790
>>81579094
Not funny, but deep AF. 8/10

>HIS NEW AGENT: listen eric, my mortgage is overdue, so i am going to need an advance after all
>ERIC BOBERS: sure harvey, I can spare a few cigarettes for an old friend.
>HIS NEW AGENT: huh? where's all the cash you made from this weeks signings?
>ERIC BOBERS: here, have a car wash coupon that never expires - that's power money can't buy.

>>81578790
>>81579094
This is a neat story.

>>81574626
Lel

>>81579791
>>81578344
>ok mr roberts you can have the role of guy reading newspaper #2 but I want your daughter to choke on my dick for 50 minutes every day for one week

>>81574387
He was in some of the worst films ever, yet, he's still has a better filmography than his daughter

How did this happen?

>>81579284

Eric, please fuck my wife in black face for a Quizno's gift card that expired in '03

>>81574626
>>81574697
>>81574707
Its super funny cause its basic writing oversimplifying a mulitimilionaire.
Its a parody of bashing eric roberts.

>>81574387
https://youtu.be/H-VAz-4x9hc?t=64
What did he do 20 years ago?

>>81580468
Best of the Best

>>81574624
What did he mean by this?

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>>81574626

>>81578790
>>81579094
Thanks for reposting my greentext, I really struggled with executing the punchline but whatever

>>81582073
He wore a wig and acted under a different name

>>81578790
>>81579094
Eric roberts is this you. With his sense of humour I can see someone telling him about /tv and him trolling.

>>81581171
Dont you mean "want your daughter to choke my dick for 50 minutes"

>>81579493
>>81581171
Too far not funny.

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> What did you just say about my father, anon?

>>81582700
Put that fist down before I Evan Peters your ass Emma.