>''professional'' movie critic >''..but

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All reviewers should be executed.

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>"it just doesnt feel right"

>>81571098
what the fuck does that even mean?

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>"it takes itself too seriously"

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>>81573438
>it doesn't take itself seriously

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>a tour de force

>[director] is back on form

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>>81571098
>>81572297
>>81573360
>>81573420
>>81573438
>>81573464
>>81573473
>>81573539
lol this is soooo true =)

>>81573567
:3

>>81571098
>>81573360
>>81573464
>>81573438

>"A triumph of the spirit"
>"2 thumbs up...WAY UP!"
>”It takes itself seriously just the right amount"

Put down the newspaper right there

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>ok let's talk about movie X
>spend 5 minutes talking about movies it is kinda like but not really.

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>>81571098

Has anyone here chosen to watch or not watch a movie based on a critic?
I tend to check afterwards so I have a smug sense of superiority at their pleb opinions.

>>81575200
I only watch movies based on what /tv/ tells me is good, so yes

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>>81571098
>>81573360
>>81573438
>>81573464
>>81573473
>>81573567
Dumb frog posters need to leave

>>81575200
I don't even watch movies anymore

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>>81575277

>>81575200
99% of the time.

Fuck you and all movie production companies. I couldn't care less if i miss a good movie, i'll see it on bluray.

But I refuse to pay a single fucking cent to shit-shows. I hope all the people responsible for capeshit and transformers are out on the streets. If enough people did it anyways.

>>81575200
I usually try to watch movies that are reviewed badly just to see if I feel the same.

>>81575305
It's a good chart

>>81575169
the only honest critic

>>81575200
>2017
>watching movies

>>81575200
Most movies I haven't seen because of critics are usually just adding to my confirmation bias about them desu. That said there's some movies I've seen - or in some cases, seen multiple times - just to spite certain critics.

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>>81571098

>It's rough around the edges

>The movie is self aware

>The movie speaks to you on a personal level

>It's like Mullholland Drive meets The Terminator on crack

>This movie doesn't know what it's trying to be

>>81573473

What the fuck does this even mean?

>shitty opinion described with complex vocabulary stretched into multiple paragraphs to seem informed and well thought out

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>>81576095

>A glib facsimile

>>81575409
for you

>'Loud' used to describe something unrelated to the audio

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>>81576166
>It's loud, it's bombastic, it's everything you ever wanted
>and more!

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>the lead actor gives a tour de france performance

>>81571098
Based critics:
Ayooo Scott
Kyle Smith
Click Lasalle
Rex Reed

>>81573473
>a leitmotif

>>81575615
>lt's like Mullholland Drive meets The Terminator on crack

this, or

>It's the bastard son of (X) and (Y)

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>It's a romp

>it has something for everyone
>it doesn't

>>81576579
>a fun, no-holds barred romp for all ages

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>"""critic""" judges a movie based on external drama rather than it's own merits

>>81575305
Luhmow toooooooo true my fellow 4channer :^)

>>81575200
I don't read reviews any more, haven't for years.

I just watch movies that look cool once a good rip comes out. Last movie I saw in theaters was some piece of shit Kevin Bacon movie I was talked into seeing with friends

Do you tend to rely more on a trailer, a 'pro' critic, or a amateur reviewer when considering a flick?

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>>81573473
>a tour de france

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>:O
>"OH MY GOD"
>*camera pans to shocked face*

>>81576768
amateur reviewer, if someone says they like a few movies and I like one or two i'll see the other suggestions.
I refuse to watch trailers as they usually give too much away

>>81575305
You forgot the positive opinion of snyder

>>81575305
Pretty accurate. Plebbitors will resent you for this.

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Just what did this professional critic mean by this?

>>81576912
what the fuck.
she writes like a pretentious high-schooler that just found a thesaurus.

>>81573473
Kek

>>81576768
I base my motive to watch a movie on it's promo poster/box cover art.

>>81575615
best post itt

>it's a camilla long review
how can one woman be wrong so often?

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>>81576934
Heres a couple more of her reviews

>a....thrilling...must see....
>"shlomo shekelburg - NY Times"

>>81576981
Her reviews are always enjoyable to read, and she's not always actually wrong.

Didn't know anyone cared about camilla on here

>>81577011
horrible critic.

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[movie name] did to [noun related to Theme of the movie] what jaws did to the ocean

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>>81575615
>It achieves what it set out to do, but that's not saying much.

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>In an oligopsony of hypozeuxis, the film is rebarbative; the characters inveterate in their boondoggleness and tend to heavily persist in their bucolic ways.

>>81571098
>""""""""""""""""""""""""Glib Facsimile""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

>>81575615
>This movie doesn't know what it's trying to be

This one really gets me. What a vague fucking statement that could be applied by a moron to any film ever made.

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>you'll love it or you'll hate it

>>81576666
Ew, I hate no holds barred romps

>>81576124
low iq

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>it's another must-see Marvel masterpiece

>>81575290
Is it because there aren't proper movies anymore?

>>81577214

Fuck this in particular.

(((political statements)))

>>81581298

Biggest newspaper in my country mentioned Trump in their Rogue One review.

http://www.vg.no/rampelys/film/filmanmeldelser/filmanmeldelse-rogue-one-a-star-wars-story-mest-intense-star-wars-opplevelsen-paa-36-aar/a/23872159/

They say "it's not exactly Trump's best friends we're following here". Not even joking.

>>81571098
>ass supremely is stumbles onto a surface with little to no natural contours
would this be better?

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>the movie has a lot of heart

>>81575305
I tried listening to Nerdist for a while a few months ago, but Chris Hardwick drives me up the fucking wall. It's like his entire persona is a complete facade

>>81575305
Avatar is straight garbage though

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>it falls short but should be celebrated for trying

>>81573438
>>81573464
>it doesn't take itself seriously
Reminder that rewarding this is what has led us to the generic marvel movies that encourage at least 3 quips per minute and violence that carries zero impact or tension

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>It's so bad it's good

>>81576768
the trailer, the summary and some stills

>>81576912
>TIME

>>81577344
if it's prefaced by saying "the tone changes all the time making you unsure what you're supposed to feel" and statements like that then I don't think it's beyond the pale to sum it up with that phrase.

>ITS INCOHERENT
what the fuck with this word ? everything they don't understand is just fucking incoherent.>>81582127

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>A love letter to the series/X director

>>81578670
Kek

>>81576669
this happens all the fucking time and I'm so sick of it.

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>>81582286

>it's bad, but it knows it's bad

>>81581427
>sandeep singh
>Norwegian
hmm

>>81582359
That word is fucking nonsensical when it comes to movies, I've never seen a movie I'd describe as incoherent

>>81582069
that's not bad though. Would it be inacurate to say a Spielberg film has a lot of heart? It would actually be quite informative.

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>>81573473
>A return to form

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>>81582416
>>81582416

>>81582367

>a love letter to classic Hollywood

Literally every La La Land review.

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>A laugh out loud affair for the whole family

true kino and is only a diamond dozen

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>>81575305
>needing a infographic to hold your hand when making opinions

helllllllllllllooooooo reddit!!

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>>81576912
>The quality of the BvS hater.

what a pleb

>>81577011
The worst fucking part is you probably have sub 100 IQ retards who think that is an intelligent opinion.

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>I grew up with

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The leading lady gives a Turing Test performance

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This film is vital, essential viewing.

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Is Grace (our) gal /tv/?