you wake up in the morning and take a look in to the mirror and

Call In sick

Order in

>>81527783
Eat pizza

Cry for a few hours, and then lose weight.

>>81527783
Meditate, breathe and then get to work on myself.

call dominos for an emergency pizzadectomy

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>>81527950
This shouldn't be funny...but i loled.

>give away all soda-based drinks in the fridge to charity
>replace with bottles upon bottles of water and/or mineral water

Kill self.

>>81527783
Lose 400 pounds in 5 minutes

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roll down the street to buy some kvarg

>>81527783
Decide to return the fun house mirror I purchased. Wasn't as funny as anticipated.

>>81527783
literally kill myself

I mean, once you're that fat your life is basically over anyway

well being poor and only eating only once every 2-2.5 days i think i would be okay

Log in to my janitor account and start deleting peoples posts

I'm a big guy.

>>81528135
does the government give you free internet or something? how are you here if you are that poor?

>>81528234
375 apartment, 20dollar internet. thats my expenesives beyond gas, or random food.

>>81528234
and 35dollar heat/energy during winter.

>>81528575
all you have to do is suck a dick for 60 dollars per nut. or you can get a part time job

kms

>>81527783
>>81527783
>>81527783
>>81527783
>filename

>say under my breath
>this is not even my final form
>TIME TO UNLEASH THE DRAGON

>>81528575

I was making double that a month working like 25 hours a week at a BBQ restaurant senpai what do you do to be so poor/what are your other expenses (do you have a drug habit)?

check if my dick got bigger

>>81528629

Well, if i could find one in my town (reason why it's 375) and i had contestant hours(work retail)It just sucks because this town is only 4k people most farmers and our downtown is only farming shops and hunting. I end up driving 40mintues away to the mall for any decent wage.

Easiest way to describe this town, our pizza place doesn't deliver and closes at 8pm so i cant even deliver at night. got about another year of saving up.

ps: never move to Michigan just move out.

>>81527783
Dr. Now, I'm BMI

>>81528787

no i live in a shit part of Michigan so i'mlucky to earn 375(rent)-20(internet)-35(energy)-100(Obama care)-100(car insurance)-45(phone)- 125(gas). rest i spend on as little food as I can and saving up to move out of this shit place.

Sweet, I lost at least 100lbs!

>>81527783
start exercising and eating like I normally do and I should be back to normal weight in a couple months

>>81528787
Also work as manger of a clothing retail chain in a small in northern Michigan in the fucking boonies. Moved when i was 17 after mom's divorce been saving up for school and moving out.

>>81527802
Call a pizza

>>81528866
Kek'd

Also, Dr Now should use the mirror more often. That segment was brutal.

>>81529028
don't exercise and hurt yourself, yer carrying a lot of weight. Just don't eat sticks of butter and you'll be back to normal in a year.

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how fat are you?
>230 lbs
>5'5''

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>>81527783
>Woke up this morning, got yourself a gun

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>i can't work on my diet with everything going on
>plays video games for a 12 hour marathon