For the Crab legs with extra soy sauce dip, that'll be $59.99

>>81353140

I asked for seafood sauce, you spearchucker

I'm sorry, I asked for Szechuan Sauce you dumb fucking nigger

Me me only wants HONEY MUSTARD in his CRABBY FEETS!! FUCK YOU GET ME MY HUN HUN SAUUUUUCEEEEEEEEEEEE!

>>81353140
Does that include tip?

>>81353158
Sir may I remind you that you entered here alone, thus violating the no singles policy YOU DONT GET SEAFOOD SAUCE CRACKA THAT BE FO CUPOOLZ ONLY N SHIET
>>81353180
Sire, Szechuan sauce is only for prime Kinographers, not flick viewers.
>>81353198
My apologies maam, please enjoy the free eagle wings as an apology, so so sorry.
>>81353213
No, the tip will come at 75% of your income and your wife sir.

>>81353140
oh no :o
I seem to have left my wallet at home
will you take my wife and daughters as payment instead? ;)
#MAGA
#StillMypresident
#shillaryForPrison

>>81353140
Could I pay with... something else? ;)

>>81353293
Sorry maam, I stopped dating white women after the 92nd time, wypipo just can not compete with black GODDESS

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>>81353140
Robert didn't fly so good!

>>81353237
>>81353325
You seem to be awfully responsive today you uppity nigger. Better shut up and give me my crablegs before I call your master

>>81353400
if I pull away the bucket, would they fry? >>81353424
Sir, Need I inform you that if you shant change thy Tone, I will have to send in the cinema shock troopers to put you to hard labor in the popcorn mines.

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>>81353140
>tfw my theater stopped serving sauce because people kept getting it all over the rent-a-anvils

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>>81353140
You forgot the win paring you incompetent shrew! I'm not paying.

>>81353479
>my cinema ran out of the turtouise shells and the cinema's musical ensemble all starved to death

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>>81353518
That is it sir, I have callled in the guard, otherwise known as my brother daynite
*blocks your path*

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>Oh shit the projector's broken. Who can we get to fix it? Imma holla at my brotha Treese. Eyo Treese!
>Say no more senpai.

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>>81353479
>>81353140
>America
fucking lol

No thank you Robert I'll just stick to my regular family sized popcorn and my customary large soda cup filled with butter

>>81353140
How is Robert so based? The balls on this kid.

>>81353634
>>81353563
>>81353518
You don't know how to do this. Leave and never come back.

Here is your tip, sir.

>Hands over $555.55

>>81353140
Ayy Marquan, I got this thot wit me, gimme that fo free and you can have her sister too my nigga. respect.

>born in the theatre, grew up in the theatre, lived in the theatre and knew I would die in the theatre
>father was a ticket ripper, mother was a crab masseuse
>we lived with the rest of the theatre-born, in a huge building under the theatre. The building was shaped like a billiards board as seen from above, seven concentric circles dividing us between the theatre castes, with the lowest castes on the outside and the emperor of the theatre (Peace be upon him) in the center
>mother was born into class 5, the third lowest class of worker, which consisted of the seat warmers, the cage cleaners, the crab masseuse and the prostitutes for class 2. They were not often tipped and many times did their job for free
>father was class 3, a fairly respectable place among the theatre-folk, the outsiders were legally required to give a tip to any of these workers. Father had to work hard to get people to choose him as their ticket ripper, there were approximately 700 other ticket rippers at any given time on the floor

>>81356270

>father fell in love with mother on his way to inform one of the watchmen of a man attempting to break the no singles policy by disguising a horse as his wife. My father had the eyes of a hawk, and would never let any outsider slip by without the proper paperwork
>my father brought the man and his horse into the Class 2 designated interracial breeding grounds, where the dark skinned guardsman fornicate with the pale women of class 5.
>with two very dark, very large men inside her, my father and my mother met eachother's eyes, and it was love at first sight
>my father scrounged his tip money for three years, eating nothing but floor popcorn illegally sold by the class 6's floor lickers and drinking the dirty crab water that he stole from the gigantic underground crab hatchery
>in three years time father bought her from vice admiral ja'queen of the IBG, the law states she must be transferred to a different job within the class, since she never learned to speak (it was unnecessary as a slave for life to the IBG) he chose for her, crab masseuse.
>since the moment I could stand I was trained in the ways of ticket ripping
>i've honed my skill and tore all of my tickets perfectly for the ticket ripping certification exam held on my 18th birthday

>>81356306

>first day on the floor
>the whole day I'm trying desperately to get an outsider to choose me as their ticket ripper, my station is clean and flawless, my uniform is unwrinkled and spotless, my demeanor professional but friendly
>in the last few minutes of work an outsider male comes up to me, shakily hands me a ticket, which I tear flawlessly and hand back to him with a beaming smile
>I hold out my hand waiting for my first bit of tip money i've earned myself
>the man hands me a dirty green penny with a bit of gum stuck on it
>"I d-don't believe in tipping, g-get a real job" he tells me with a face of fearful defiance
>internally i'm in a vortex of torment, thinking about my dead mother and crippled father I have to feed with this penny
>externally I say "enjoy your movie sir" with a smile that seemed almost genuine
>we lock eyes one last time as he exclaims "y-you too"

>trying to watch a flick at my local theater
>they keep pausing it every 20 minutes to do stupid fucking "get-to-know-eachother" games
>It's my turn to say 3 interesting facts about myself
>I freeze up, start sweating, and mumble something incoherent until they move on to the next person
>Apparently someone reported me to security because two officers came in asking to see how much total karma I had on reddit
>told them I didn't have a reddit account and they escorted me out

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>>81356270
>>81356306
>>81356332

>>81356332
>Not eating the gum yourself and feeding your father the penny
That's an above average tip you whinging fuck

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>>81356270
Already lost it at crab masseuse

>>81356834
>implying I had the permission to go meet him

You need to work in the popcorn mines for three months to get permision for a visit.