This fucking movie has been remade like 10 times for no reason.

>>81072619
Why is it so hard to get right? Have they never played the games?

>>81072619
A Hitman movie needs less action, less James Bond wannabe, and more methodical intelligence. Square Enix's CGI trailers blow the fuck out of both Shitman movies, they're also action based and actually good. 47 himself will never be a good character on which a story can be reflected, he's the definition of an empty character and he is supposed to be one, he even dresses like a nobody business man. Even Hitman Absolution (the game before Hitman 2016) was complete shit when it took the story route.

Add to this that they won't cast 47's voice actor (David Bateson) as 47 even when he looks exactly like Agent 47. He is Agent 47. Apparently he's a nobody, so that clearly affects his performance and it isn't just an excuse for a cheap grab at more money.

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This guy would be perfect to play 47.

>>81072650
why is the head shave mandatory?

>>81072619
No.

>>81072650
Actually it makes me wonder if there has ever been a movie that did the stealthy hitman murders good.

>>81073063
Clones can't grow hair

>remade 10 times
>only two movies

amerilards everyone

>>81072619

>series about an assassin blending in, killing his targets by making it look like an accident or mishap and never arousing suspicion

>every movie hes charging in with machine guns blazing and plot armor deflecting every enemy bullet

Hes an opportunist, not a fucking wrecking ball.

>>81072619
For a moment I tought this was Cavill

>>81072619
I guess it's hard to put hitmans slow paced gameplay into a movie

>>81072619
Wouldn't a limited episode TV series work better? With him having the target for the week along with a season ending bad guy

>>81073093
doesn't being completely hairless kind of foil the inconspicuousness part of being a highly trained assassin?

>>81073625
This sounds more promising honestly

>>81073640
Upside being much less recoverable DNA

When it doubt, Wigs-R-Us

>>81073640
He has (fake?) eyebrows and most would assume he just shaves his arms or legs. Are you really that socially inept to figure this out?

>>81073191
Im convinced the makers do this to piss us off.
Its like a baker serving a client cake, but all he does is make some pastry then take a steaming pile of shit on it before handing it over.

That chicks tits from the first movie were top fucking notch

>>81073640
A lot of Agent 47's hits do. Remember The Seafood Massacre, or The Lee Hong Assassination?

Hitman games are just high budget puzzle games.

>>81073856
1/10 for getting me to respond

Using Hitman to give us yet another strong independent women who need no man protagonist. Shame on you, Hollywood

>>81073905
You have to sit around observing, then every level requires precise timing to get the silent assassin rating. Hitman 2 was the worst offender of this.

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>>81073755
the most patrician waifu

>>81073728
men do not shave their arms, and if i saw a dude with shaved arms i'd think they were some highly skilled clone assassin

>>81074342
Or a swimmer, or a model, or just really, really European

>>81073640
I think the barcode tattoo on the back of his shaved head is a bit worse in this regard.

>>81073905
If you don't think Hitman is a puzzle game with heavy TPS stealth elements, then please play anything other than Absolution.

>>81073640
That's why he wears disguises anon

>>81073640
All of the Clones like 47 were intentionally engineered to have Male Pattern Baldness, so they couldn't leave behind hair as evidence. If he needs hair he could just put on a wig.

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How do you fuck up a hitman movie? It's literally stealth James Bond with a splash of ultra violence.

>>81075938
They could actually justify action scenes, if for example a client requested that 47 make an example of someone, or make a big scene out of it. It's just the spontaneous action hero bullshit is completely out of character.

Hollywood is fucking retarded and constantly fucks up what you shouldn't be able to fuck up if you tried.

>>81075978

you can just retell his origins story and do a few key assassinations like The Meat King's part.
http://hitman.wikia.com/wiki/The_Meat_King%27s_Party

Then you could hire a really fat guy to play Sturrock and it'd be visually cool. Hollywood really has no clue anymore.

>>81072619
>The closest Hitman we got was John wick

>>81076140
I guess this.

I might actually watch John wick now if I can pretend it is spiritually a hitman tribute.

>>81072619
hollywood is willing to hit bedrock and then keep going until every franchise is gouged for every penny

>>81075938

47's charm is that he has no charm. He's not a character; he's a force of nature in the universe he occupies. Almost a grim reaper archetype. Bond is passionate in a way that 47 can never afford to be.

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>>81073974

In fairness Diana his handler has always been a very powerful, competent partner to the player. She's one of my favorite vidja secondary characters.

For that matter they should just have square enix hire the team that made this cinematic to make a full length cgi movie. It'd be 10 times better than hollywood's best effort.

>>81072650
This. Shouldn't be complicated : A hitman killing VIPs.
But instead it's a fucking generic action movie which has nothing to do with the game.

>>81076767
Hollywood gives action audiences no credit though and forces a hero down our throats for every movie. The second you portray 47 as anything close to a hero you've missed the point by a mile.

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>Film centers around a bunch of billionaires with criminal ties
>Just a lot of shady shit going on in general, establish that these guys deserve something terrible
>The entire time there's a bald guy in the background constantly changing outfits
>You never see him in full, just different costumes, maybe a line of dialogue
>All the main characters/villains start disappearing, one by one
>Maybe some people are shown dead or dying via poison or accidents
>Stuff that can't be traced to anyone, all completely incidental
>When the main cast is gone completely, 47 leaves
I always thought a Silent Assassin movie would be really simple.

They're all better than John Wick 2, that's for damn sure.

>>81076885
Based. Directed by Mary Harron.

>>81076885

>Just when the last guy realizes what is going on
>a taut length of wire appears out of the shadows

Hollywood doesnt want a Hitman movie. They want bald jason bourne.

>>81076058
>Then you could hire a really fat guy to play Sturrock

James can get his first acting role.

>>81073089
Any of the countless Golgo13 films

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>>81076567
You mean he's a westernized Golgo?

>>81078308

Probably. Does Golgo use disguises a lot and cause "accidents"? Looks dope.

>tfw no kane and lynch movie

>>81072619
Maybe make a Hitman Television series?

If they can make one for The Transporter I don't see a reason why not.

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>>81078517

Most of Golgo's kills are performed via his trusty custom M-16

>my face there was an episode of the more recent anime about creating a rifle that would render the M-16 obsolete and Golgo fucking slaughters the guys who come after him

>no hitman movie about 47 wearing silly outfits while killing douchebags in ridiculous and convoluted ways

>>81072619
It's not that interesting
>>81072650
It's a game firstly and secondly making a good film requires many talented people who would probably prefer to invest their time in something the think is actually worthwhile.
>>81075938
The comparison with Bond is weak.
Hitman 47 is an empty vessel assassinating targets because that's the game.

I wonder why this hasn't been made into a good movie?

>>81072619
I blame Absolution and its save the girl plot.

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>>81073037
>there'll never be an Obergruppenführer 47 film

>>81080002

wasn't there going to be one with Jamie Foxx as Lynch?

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>>81073191

this, they're not action games they're stealth games, to make a Hitman movie just show us a live action version of the kind of carefully planned things you do in the games, infiltrating a high security public place, using disguises and ruses to get close to a VIP, and then arranging his death in some elaborate manner, with the atmosphere of an espionage thriller, like the Montenegro scenes in Casino Royal or the opera scene in Mission Impossible 5

the fucking Mechanic movies with Jason Statham are better Hitman movies than the actual Hitman movies

>>81080347
Mardi gras?

>>81072913

Pretty much this. I'd even take an entire movie in which you never even SEE 47. Hits keep happening around a team tasked with stopping them and they piece together footage etc. to figure out who/where he is.

>>81080562

Supposedly. And Bruce Willis as Kane.

I'm glad that HASN'T appeared

>>81072650
The problem with Hitman as a thing is that it makes for a bad action movie given the current "trends" in making those.

I mean take any mission in any Hitman game.
There's one in Blood Money where you have to kill gay pedo opera singer and his gay pedo lover who also had some ties in organised crime.

The one of the routes is to sneak to the basement while dressing up as a theatre worker, steal gay pedo bodyguards from one guy who goes to the bathroom whole the time, and replace fake replica of the gun that's supposed to kill the gay pedo opera singer on scene with a real one. Then move out to see the scene and when the singer dies(this time execution scene was like real!) you can kill his lover mourning over his body.

4 dead, 2 of the targets. 2 shots fired.

And now Hollywood comes in.

They rewrite it so all you can see is shaky cam and CGI blood. 40 bodies and 300 broken windows later the targets are dead and 47 runs away due to help of a woman that will later turn into his love interest. Try doing anything else as a directors and producers will fire you. Do this and your career is nuked because the movie is major flop.

>>81080691
A Movie where you see him heaps of times just never in the focus of the frame.

>>81080819

Actually this is exactly what I was getting at. He's been there the whole time (but not part of the investigation because that's obvious)

>>81080787

>4 dead

The lover always trips under the chandalier which you can drop on his dead for, hopefully, 1 shot, one bomb and zero non-target kills

>>81073089
John Wick 2, the scene where he kills Gianna D'antonio, is literally all I fucking want in a Hitman movie.

>>81080964
Now that's new.

>>81072650

but the games are popular and good because of the freedom given to assassinating targets and the giant playbox you have to do it in various hilarious ways

not because of the story

>>81080207
I'd kill for a 7-part miniseries of mostly unconnected, contract-of-the-week kills that all comes together in the last episode when you realize that each of the hits is meant for something huge.

Of course I've had that idea for a while along with the idea of never making him completely visible like >>81080691 said (aside from like a prologue thing at the beginning and end of each contract, maybe an extended scene at the end of the series where he's forced to go full Bourne and it has serious ramifications).

>>81080787
>4 dead
Don't touche me you filthy casual

>>81073116
>can't fathom hyperbole for emphasis
Yurofags everyone

>>81072619

Knowing Hollywood there'll be a John Wick/Hitman crossover with spin-off Netflix-only tv miniseries.

>>81072619
>Does anyone care about the hitman franchise?

People care about the gameplay, not the story, the story is trash

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>>81075848
they should be also skinless so they wouldn't leave dead skin on the crime scene as well

>>81082571
kek

>>81072619
>redone multiple times
>not a single time they just follow the games plot or stuff
>well I guess this proves you can't make good movies based on videogames

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>>81073037
Just get the voice actor from the games.

>>81072913
>Square Enix's CGI trailers blow the fuck out of both Shitman movies, they're also action based and actually good.
This. How much would it cost to have a feature length movie in that format?

>>81076694
I hated how pervasive she was during the missions in the latest game. Yes, thank you Diana. I see the target. Oh, he's dead now? I didn't notice that as I was killing him. Oh, I have to leave after killing him? Thanks for the tip, boss!

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>>81072619

I've been thinking about this lately funny enough.
I think to make a Hitman movie work you have to have Agent 47 as the antagonist and the film follows I don't know like a senator's son or something as he tries to save his father from being targeted by Agent 47.

In my head it's a lot like the original Terminator. Instead of 47 being an unstoppable machine that can absorb bullets, he's a lethal killer with an ability to disguise himself extremely well.

I don't know I'm kinda on my down from the coke I just snorted so I'm probably not even thinking this right

>>81072619
i honestly enjoyed both movies, and most of the gaems.

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>>81080520
Just end me now... ;_;

>Square funds even anime in japan
>they will never make anime about their wester property

Where's my Hitma, Deus Ex, Tomb Raider etc. anime

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>>81074367
>European
Why? Surrendermonkeys, spaghettis and spaniards are hairy as fuck. They dont shave.

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>>81073755
What tits? Are you trying to b8 me m8?

just cast jason statham

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>>81076885
>>81076976
5/5, would watch.

Seems like a good place to ask, which Hitman game would be good to play for someone who's never played Hitman in their life? Is the newest one good?

>>81085863
Blood Money.

Or just play them in order.

>>81085863
Blood Money is the gold standard, and you can get it for like $3 on Steam. The new one is kind of ok but that's it.

>>81085496
That's stupid, but I'd watch it. I'm a Jason Stathom mark.

it should be like an Ocean Eleven movie with 47 planning everything in detail and then watch it unfold, except only with him monologuing all the time

Honestly the bits in the newish Hitman game where 47 wears a wig are fucking hilarious
He just looks so shit and it's fantastic

>>81086035
its basically the Mechanic, minus the training a protege stuff

>>81085863
Play all in order but new one is optional

What's the appeal of a Hitman movie ? You wouldn't make a movie out of a puzzle game, and that's what Hitman basically is, just with a different setting

>>81074367
The always smart amerifat in his natural habitat truly believes this.

>>81072650
It's hard to get right because it's a premise so ridiculous it should only be played out in video games.

>>81074367
I'm european and shave my arms come at me fags

>>81086431
>>81085863
The first one really hasn't aged well. I would wholeheartedly recommend every game except the first one and Absolution.

>>81086784
fag

>>81072650
>Why is it so hard to get right? Have they never played the games?

Watching a guy hide behind a cooker for 15 minutes waiting for the chef to go to the toilet so he can pick up a kitchen knife isn't good cinema.

>>81072619
>You wouldn't make a movie out of a puzzle game

Tetris: The Movie is literally in pre-production.

>>81072913
>47's voice actor (David Bateson)
>look up David Bateson

Damn. I could have sworn a negroid did 47s voice. He sounds as black as sin.

>>81085863
I'm gonna throw Contracts into the mix. Very dark, lots of different disguises/weapons/methods of assassination, high replayability (for me), great moody soundtrack, controls are more fluid than 2.

If you like Contracts, try 2, Blood Money and Absolution, in that order. Never played the newest one.

>>81085863
Start with the best one.
Codename 47

>>81085863
The newest one.

>>81072619

How about a 'No Country For Old Men' vibe, where 47 is the brutal, methodical antagonist and the story focuses on a capable small-town detective who is called to investigate the accidental death of a reclusive, wealthy resident? The case seems open and shut, with no trace of foul play, but in trying to find out more about the victim (maybe innocently trying to track down next of kin), the detective uncovers links to other similar individuals who have all met with accidents. There's no hard evidence, but there's enough to know that it doesn't add up.

Crucially, I want the detective to be plucky, righteous, but hopelessly out of his depth, always a step or two behind, finding death and obstruction at every turn. The film in the OP had a vague theme of this with the Interpol agent who thinks there's this ghostly assassin but can't prove it.

I just don't know how to make it compelling. Watching 47 at work would be tense and interesting, particularly with the right use of dramatic irony. But I don't know how to move the narrative in a way that admits an interesting plot, but also preserves the (almost mythical) ability of 47 i.e. how can you have a film about a perfect master assassin - by definition he is supposed to be anonymous, silent, traceless.

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>>81072650
It shouldn't be that hard, just make Ocean's 11, but instead of money it's murder.

>>81088139
47 is like Riddick, he works best as an antagonist like you said. You try and make him a hero or the main character in the movie and it kinda falls apart at the seams, because just like Riddick, his motivations are shallow in an in-universe sense. 47 was made to kill, so he kills.