Have you ever snuck food into the theater? I think I'm going

>>80989438
Just use your fannypack and swing it so the pack is above your butt instead of your dick. They'll never check there.

>>80989500
I have a long black leather duster I could hide it under

>>80989438
yeah all time time i love taking fish n chips to watch my Marvel kino

>>80989438
I usually keister a box of lemonheads before I go in desu.

>>80989438
What's this guy's name again?

>>80989438
Wear cargo underwear underneath your pants

Easy way to sneak in food

>>80989438
People do it all the time, but depends on the theater and how much of a dick they decide to be today. I work at a movie theater and they occasionally check bags, usually not. If you're that worried wear a big coat and stuff ya food in it.

>>80989438
Just slip the treats into your cowboy boots

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>>80989438
I buy a two liter of diet coke, some hotdogs, and an assortment of candy at the convenience store next to my local cinema. I eat it all in the parking lot and just sneak it in inside my stomach. No one's caught me, even during random pat downs, and my cinema is too poor for the CAT scanner. Sometimes it pays to live in a lower class community.

You guys must be a hit with the ladies.

Pull out bag chips from your armpits, a couple cokes from your fanny pack.

>>80989438
i put some mini starbursts into my jacket pocket yesterday when i went to see the belko experiment

>>80990355
robert

>>80990838
Whenever I take the melted chocolate bars out of my trench coat all of the girls near me start laughing. I think they're laughing at how stupid they were to not come up with my idea.

>>80990910
A girl I was dating used to keep starbursts in her purse, she'd put some in my pocket while we were watching a kino at home or on the town

>>80991022
Was she plump?

>>80991022
cute!

>>80990838
How much of a loose whore are you to put cokes up your fanny?!

>>80991022
Did she like to eat? Like a big eater haha

>>80991053
For you

>2020-4+1
>not buying michelina tv dinners and a portable microwave for the ultimate moviegoing experience
LOL. Enjoy your $90.00 bag of popcorn, plebs.

>>80991133
Dude why bother with the portable microwave? The projector furnace is never guarded just bring a skillet instead. Much easier to bring in.

>go to a movie with a bag
>ticket guy asks to check inside it and I say no
>he just looks sheepish and says nevermind
>didnt even have food in it

>backpack
>movie theater
Do you want bed bugs that bad?

>wear cargo pants
>stuff Taco Bell/candy into cargo pant pocket
>buy something stupid at the mall so you can hold a bag alongside your bulging cargo pants pocket
>walk into theater
This is how it's done.

>>80991497
>I did this
>digging into a supreme taco during Batman vs Superman
>got busted by a theater attendant who shined a bright ass flashlight at me
>I thought he was the cops for some reason and I called him officer
>whole theater laughed
>he then made me carry all my taco bell to the trash can and dump it in front of him
>then loudly told me "dont let me catch you doing that again"
>people smirking at me the entire time

Fucking humiliating. I finished the movie but never went back

>>80991628
I had a similar thing happen once, but lucky for me I was the designated shooter that night. After I stitched him up the manager gave me a voucher to see another kino on the house!

I bring Swedish Fish in my purse and get a large tub of popcorn there. The employees all know me and never give a shit about the fish

>>80991301
Haha I have done this too when I snuck in jack daniels. Just said no and kept walking

>>80989438
Just wear cargo shorts unless you want to look cool, nobody checks me when I do it. I can even fit bottles in the pockets or a hoodie. You might look like a sperg though.

>>80989438
I don't think I've paid for a non-alcoholic drink at a theater in years

But I also always order popcorn when I go since butter popcorn is great but not worth the effort at all to make at home.

Making clarified butter and cooking on the stovetop for the only flavor of popcorn thats immediately becomes terrible when it isn't piping hot and can't be saved for later is just a waste of popcorn.

>>80989438
I stuffed a double cheeseburger and fries in my sleeve and pretended my arm was broken to hide the lump

Yes I'm american

>>80990695
This shouldn't have made me laugh as hard as it did

>>80990695
I do something similar except in the theater I ask for a water cup. I then go to the bathroom and induce vomiting in the cup. Any spillover on the floor is only what the theater workers deserve. I then sip from my coke/candy/puke broth for the duration of the film. The acidity's not too bad with all the diet coke mixed in.

>>80992054
Small popcorn bags run about 20$ around these parts. I recommend that over the water cup because it's the only reasonably priced thing you can buy in a theater. They won't sell you the buckets because they qualify for free refills and the theater doesn't want you scamming them.

>>80991301
I used to do this until they beefed up security at my theater

>can I check your bag
>>No
>please wait a moment sir
>police officer comes over
>sorry I have to check your bag
>>Fine
>he sees the food, doesn't care

I usually do it for candy and sodas, but if I do decide to eat at the theater I usually get some popcorn.

Its rare that I actually eat anything at the theater though. Usually my friends and I go out to eat before or after.

>>80992166
Why would I pay $20 to vomit into a bag when I can do that for free into a cup I can sip out of? The stomach acid would probably just melt through the bag into my lap anyways.

>>80992239
You can reuse the bag. The bag is probably the easiest thing you can sneak in on subsequent visits. A smart investment for a pithy 20$.

>>80992239
>>80992282
Just get a fucking king sized cup at McDonlads. It costs less than $2 and you can vomit a decent amount into it indefinitely.

>>80992315
How could I sneak that in? They'd think I was a soda thief.
>>80992282
My theater doesn't offer reusable bags

>>80989438

Back in high school, I worked at a movie theater on the side. Generally speaking, the teenagers who work there don't give a shit. If anything, they're glad that you're essentially one less person that they have to deal with. Matter of fact, if I saw someone bring in a bag of McDonald's I would intentionally look the other way if I was feeling lazy that day.

That said, don't leave your non-theater food trash around. That pisses off the managers and makes them crack down on people bringing food in, which makes life more difficult for everyone.

>>80990695
Why do Americans insist on spelling it 'liter'? You don't even use SI, so why the fuck don't you just spell it like everyone else? 'Litre' is much easier to read because it is that extra step removed from litter.

My friend sneaked in with a glass bottle of Snapple. He kicked it over and it rolled down the cement steps to the front and shattered loudly. The usher came to investigate and stared around into the dark as if he was Sherlock Holmes and would figure out who did it.

>>80989438
>be me and my friend
>buy burgers and chips
>oh shit movie gonna start
>my friend puts the burger in his pants pocket and chips
>wtf?
>I do it as well
>10 mins in movie I go to bathroom and eat burger and chips there
>my friend gets too scared to eat his food in cinema

>>80992401
>he'd rather have a word spelled nonsensically than deal with it being similar to another word

>>80992401
>mfw Americans call Bibblybobblywibblyblumperjampers "Cupcakes"

>CTRL+F spaghetti
>CTR+F crab legs
Huh.

>>80989438
>Will they check my backpack if I bring it?
Probably.

>>80989438
>Have you ever snuck food into the theater?
All the fucking time. Majority of time the people working there don't give a fuck.

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Anyone else do the double legstrap combo?

>>80989438
I just carry a bag to the theater what communist hellhole you live in, that they register you in the theater?

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>>80992646
>Buy water pack
>Fill it with cheese sauce
>Hide under hoodie
>Flip up hood
>Sink low in chair
>Sip on cheese during movie

>>80992220
>can I check your bag
>>No
>please wait a moment sir
>police officer comes over
>sorry I have to check your bag
>>Fine
>he sees the two tear gas grenades, Smith & Wesson M&P15 rifle, Remington 870 Express Tactical shotgun, and Glock 22 handgun, doesn't care

>>80992690
If you register 4 times in a month (i.e. buy 4 tickets, only for you not for others) then you're eligible for a chance to win a free medium popcorn at the cinema raffle.

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>Careful sir, this falcon is HOT!

>>80989438
>buy some shooters of liquor
>jam them into your waistband
>buy a soda inside and pour that shit in
>get blitz in the theater

>>80992741
I had this happen to me but the cop didn't let me off
>He checked my bag and found all the weapons and my manifesto
>He almost let me go before checking the theater schedule and saw I wasn't scheduled to be the shooter until next month
>Gave me a $300 fine and took away my falcon privileges for trying to cut in line

Anyone else find it relaxing to get work done by the cinema surgeon while watching a movie? Anesthesia is too expensive, it's easier to turn my brain off with the latest Marvel flick.

>>80992549
It's french you dickhead - and there are plenty of common US english words that are just as much or more nonsensical.

>>80992561
Not British - what do bongs call cupcakes actually?

>>80989522
don't you mean trenchcoat

>>80992401
>"lee-tray"

>>80992885
Cupcakes.

Dollar tree is right next to my theater.

$1 Coke $1 Reeses pieces

$12 movie theater ticket

>>80992885
Except we have a choice with litre and liter and choose to do with the obvious one.

>>80992899
Don't you want to make English as hard as possible for non-anglo scum to learn? It's the only barrier from them taking your shitty rust belt jobs!

If anything we should be putting MORE nonsense into the language.

>>80992798
>I can see she is attractive Robert but she is right there, keep your voice down

>>80992975
>>80993033
was this really worth deleting your post over

>>80992983
Randomly making words into retarded nonsensical French spelling won't make the written language more intuitive. English is already long-fucked .

>>80993033
>deletes and corrects post
>still makes multiple punctuation mistakes

m8 it's 4chan just roll with your errors.

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>>80993033
got u pham

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>>80993103
>>80993133
n-no bully
>>80993155
Robert help me

>>80993155
RARE
A
R
E

>>80989438
I have a secret pocket sewn into my theater cape and like to bring in pialia.

Okay what have you guys legit done? My theater's large popcorn is a bag with a free refill, so after a movie I'll look for bags in the trash that weren't filled with butter or other seasoning. I'll fold them up and put it in my pocket and get a refill with one of the bags on the way out, and then bring a bag for next time to get a refill on the way in to a film.

>>80989438
I usually sneak some potato chips in my ammo pouches. They never check.

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>>80989438
I once snuck in an entire bk whopper combo by stuffing everything into my pants, the moment i got inside the theater everyone around looked on with jealousy for not being as shrewd as I.

Since my theater has to allow me to open carry (Texas), I just keep a bullet in the barrel in case there's a shooter but otherwise I put candy in the magazine.

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>>80993186
>It's okay anon, I brought two of my friends to comfort you

>>80993391

Othello Remake (2017)

>>80993391
I've seen the guy on the left before but never the girl. Did she not do any other theater piccies?

>>80993391
Robert you are the best kinotorium attendant a neet could ask for

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>>80989438
You gotta go back.

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>You must help me anon! Someone viciously attacked me and stole all the popcorn! If you are able to help me I will give you one ticket to any showing before 3pm, note that the singles policy will be in effect however.

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>>80993391
Both white kids view a shitty popcorn theater job as a summer job to start off with.
To the black guy (who is clearly the manger) it's a full time career.

Really make you think.

>>80992774
Unironically that's the reward system they had in the soviet union.

>>80993560
Don't fall for this! They tell you to look in the popcorn mines but as soon as you get to the bottom they shut off the elevator and make you work for months before letting you out. I didn't even get a free ticket afterwards.

Is the "no singles" policy a real thing? I've only been to a few theaters and I've never had a problem.

>>80993560
>Don't worry Robert I brought my designated shooter bag today. With my falcon tracking the trail of stolen popcorn I will have it back in no time

>walk up to guy taking tickets
>"hey can I bring this in?"
>"dude you can burn this place down I don't give a fuck"

literally never had an issue bringing outside shit into a theatre

I only stole like 12 extra large collectible popcorn buckets (for The Force Awakens) and they hit me with a grand larceny charge because it was over $200 worth of merchandise. Fuck Virginia. Thankfully my dad could afford a lawyer and I only had to plead to a misdemeanor and community service.

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>Excuse me sir? Jules here has informed me that you refused to consent to a penis inspection. Is this true? Please be aware that this is MANDATORY.

>>80991946
>Making clarified butter and cooking on the stovetop
just use powder dummy

>>80993673
Where do you live? I want to move there. I'm never let in

>>80993624

Some theaters pay their general managers extremely well, so if anything, Robert's gonna be just fine.

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>>80993838
Only if he passes weekly theater inspections. If the secret shopper doesn't give him a good grade Robert doesn't get his monthly bonus which is what would make or break him earning a good on average salary.

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>Go to see a WWE house show
>Not allowed to bring in a Clif Bar
>Go to watch kino
>Bring in 2 Powerade Zeros and a 100 gram bag of kratom no problem

I once somehow saw these goons bring an extra large pizza into a theater. Not just a slice, but like the full pizza pie with the box and everything.

I once ordered Uber Eats to my seat as a joke but then they actually came to it and charged me for the ticket as well. Fuck Uber I'm glad they're going down in flames

>>80994104
I saw something like that while I worked at a pizza place. But they asked me to serve the pizza in small boxes.

Can someone link me to the crock pot you can fit in a top hat

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>>80989438
>Have you ever snuck food into the theater?

All the time, the theater food is very expensive on my city at least, if I buy a drink there it's 50% more expensive than in any other place in the mall.

All I do is just buy 3 tacobell burritos (I eat one every 30 minutes and most movies long like hour and half so...) and 1 pepsi, put them inside my backpack and enter.
The theater guys don't give a fuck.

I even had one sexual experience thanks to a tom cruise movie nobody wanted to see.
The one about a machine that controlled the earth and clones and shit? I don't remember the name,

Anyway, nobody was inside except us and I got horny after the "sex scene", so I started to finger my date, she started to stroke my dick and we made out, the theater guy that always enters to "check thing" saw us, instead of making a big deal or something he was discrete, gave me a thumps up and left.
He was a bro.

Months later I saw the same dude taking tickets and doing mundame shit so I went and gave him $20 bucks and told him thank you and left.

>>80994426
You are a cool guy.

>>80994426
Usually they stop you because they don't want to clean up your cum. Your date swallowed right?

>go to movie ten minutes early
>waddle to bathroom
>get out my alcohol burner
>fill it with complimentary vohdka
>Pull out sause pan out from ceiling tiles
>Staff will just think your shitting not popping popcorn
>undermine the local popcorn industry

>>80993780
Then it taste like shit no matter what

>>80993155
he looks gay as fuck in this picture. don't ruin my ideal Robert

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snuck a roast chicken in once, left the bones under my seat lol

>>80989438
I usually just sneak in liquor, theaters I go to have bars now, but two double shots is like $25.

I could buy a litre bottle for the same price at a liquor store.

>>80994497
>Your date swallowed right?

Yeah she did.

In the past back in high school I used to take cleaning jobs to save up and do something in the summer. So I understood that being messy and leaving shit all over the place makes the work for someone else really shitty and you don't even get a good pay out of it.
So I avoid doing that and I always clean what I mess up, a tip for being a cool guy was the least I could do.

I eat sushi or pizza if I'm sneaking anything in, I just take off my sweatshirt or jacket and wrap it up in it.

>>80993624
hey fuck off, robert has a job. Thats more than you can say for most blacks

Does anyone else just throw their chicken bones on the theatre sidewalk

>>80994845
No because only the shittiest people litter

>>80994874
Thanks for the speedy reply Dundee

>flask
>jar of nutella
>bag of popcorn

the nutellas mostly to masturbate with but sometimes i dip the popcorn in it

>>80994874
It's not littering if I leave a dollar tip

The local cinema slaves make $10 an hour. Picking up my trash would take like a minute, at best. I've compensated you at a rate of $60/hr, tax free. Get over yourself.

>>80992741
That's a pretty big bag

>>80993155
MAI HUSBANDO

This is one of the reasons why I bring my Grandma with me because she carries a really big purse to sneak stuff in.

Just walk right the fuck in with it. They're not cops.

>>80995123
That's called trespassing

>>80994815
honestly this. Too many blacks think they're above service jobs when they at best only got dat GED

>>80995194
Guarantee you minimum wagie at the theatre is not going to say shit to you unless his manager is right there. Last thing I ever wanted to do as a minumum wagie was get in a fight with some customer over inconsequential bullshit so the company could squeeze a few more shekels out of them.

>>80994426
>tom cruise movie nobody wanted to see.
>The one about a machine that controlled the earth and clones and shit? I don't remember the name

Oblivion?

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>>80989438
I pop a few of these up my bum.
My local allows you to bring in bread and water, so I just bring in some hot dog buns, cop a squat, and bam, kinodogs.

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snuck an active beehive into the theater in my backpack. I snacked on the honey during the kino and smashed the hive under my seat before leaving. Went back the next day and saw some stupid wagecuck with at least a dozen sting marks on his face

>>80995449
Exactly, that one.
The red head looked so good, I got a boner off their scene in the pool which started the whole thing.

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>>80989438
I hide reese's pieces in my fake leg

>>80995395
I had a slavie get on my mother's case for using a water cup to get ginger ale when we had also bought a large popcorn and large drink. I hope you fire people like this.

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>>80995558
>water cup
you mean her gallon jug

>>80990695
good thinking

>>80990695
lucky man, all the cinemas near where I live have an automatic CAT scanner built into the penis inspection machine

I decided to feed it to my falcon and just squeeze him during the movie for my sustenance