Modern Family:
Why does Phil constantly lust after his loud, obnoxious illegal immigrant mother in law when he gets to come home to this MILF every night?
Grass is always greener? She's "exotic"? Some psychological ribble rabble with Jay? All I know is he's lucky to be able to crush his wife.
>>79962514
The real reason is why does he not molest his own children?
>>79963524
They got fat.
>>79963578
Maybe, but they're practically asking for his dick since the beginning of the show.
>>79963578
Haley got fat?
>>79962514
he obviouslly gets reemed by Bowen w/ one of lil beaners dragon dildos
>>79963661
Hayley is a slut.
>>79963578
>>79963661
Pics of this?
>>79963578
fat tits that is
>>79962514
Because natural tits>fake tits.
>>79962514
Because he's a cuck.
>>79963524
>>79963524
Because why would you want to fuck Hailey?
>>79964391
I miss pre scarred Arielposting
>>79962514
They're both smoking hot and that's all that matters.
>>79964573
i miss this so much m8
Sofia Vergara's voice is fucking abhorrent
plus she looks like an almost passable tranny
Phil would never cheat on Clair. Only looking.
>>79962514
It's been my life's mission to find pornstar lookalikes for all of the female celebrities, but so far I'm only 1 of 4 for Modern Family, and even then, Kendall from Backroom Casting Couch isn't as close of a match to Haley as I'd like.
>>79965102
What about Lily?
>>79964391
RRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>this MILF
>>79962514
Oh man does Claire do it for me. I'd definitely push Sophia right out of the way, and step on her to pitch some woo at claire. But....if I banged her 100s of times and watched her spit out a bunch of kids I'd get bored. Colombo-bitch has an awful voice, and mediocre face. But that bod is undeniable.
>>79965102
Riley Reid reminds me of Sarah Hyland.
>>79965563
The fuck is wrong with her abdomen? Waiting for a tummytuck to settle?
Hey Brothas from Otha Mothas--the one and only Big P is in the house! My AMA in /tv/ went well last time, so I'm here to answer question again.
No creepy stuff about Alex this time, please. But if it's about Haley, go wild. Ha. That was a joke. This time I'm posting from my iPad, not my son's laptop.
>>79966130
The makeup doesn't entirely cover herhandle
>>79966308
Can you mail me some of Alex's panties?
>>79966445
That'd be the most action she has gotten in months--don't be surprised when she shows up at your apartment with her vows.
>>79966308
You ever walk in on Manny secretly sucking a cock? He is in the closet, right?
>>79967028
Jay is the closet King, so he has no real reason to come out.
>>79962514
Have you seen Gloria's tits?
>>79965563
>that roid gut
>>79967945
Plot twist: Jay is actually gay. It's why Mitchell and Cam make him so uncomfortable, and why he's constantly trying to man up Diabeto. He can't accept his own homosexual urges.
He's really is the Closet King.
How can anyone be more of a silverback than jay?
Also >that episode when Cam marries Mitchell
That was just degenerate. A father leading his son to the altar.
>>79966308
Have you ever had sex with your wife while thinking about Gloria?
>>79966308
Consider putting on a trip and posting everyday.
>>79962514
she's skinny, not in a good way. i love skinny girls, i have jacked it to anna chicks before, but she is all angles and elbows, it looks like she's uncomfortable all the time. reminds me of the other-mother from coraline
>>79966308
Tell us more about your kino cassino. What's your favourite movie to watch when it's raining?
>>79962514
Not saying vegara isn't a 10. But I got into this show bc of the mom. I don't even like blondes but for some reason I'm in love with claire
>>79965563
Still would. I love my claire fu.
>>79968732
Got into this show because of Hayley.
Those perky tits are just so sweet.
Guess that makes me a pleb.
>>79968591
Only on days when I see Gloria. Which is a lot, since I've got tons of pics of her on my phone, ha.
>>79968699
I've been browsing this forum a lot, and I finally got around to watching that Batman movie you guys always quote. It was a "big" success "for me"!
>>79968618
What's a trip? I don't do drugs...often.
>>79967028
I'd say Manny is the family cuckold, but I've seen too many of Alex's crushes fall to Haley's adept seduction.
>>79965563
what is this disease called
>>79968794
I have a milf fetish so only vergara and the mom get me going.
>>79968809
Well cuckolding is the fetish for intellectuals so that would fit.
>>79964391
>>79964573
>>79964966
Jesus Christ
>>79964339
>implying Phil doesn't smell these panties every night to jerk off to
>>79968794
im a haley pleb too
i dont really like ariel winter but i love everything about haley yes i forgot the actors name
maybe something about me being the eldest in the family too
>>79969070
She's just the archetype of the dumb little slut who needs a good screwing.
Usually I'm more of a femdom type, but I just can't see Claire doing that. Can only imagine asian and brunettes doing that for some strange reason.
>>79969070
Did you know the actor who plays hayley is 29!!!
>>79969204
>1990
still older than i expected, wow
>>79969003
>Al Capone in hotpants
Hyland is the cutest, and hairiest.
>>79970307
one of my fave moments was cam's "...is phil hot?"
too little screentime just the two of them
>>79962514
http://tv.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600098537
>>79970584
every time
>>79970584
Five paragraphs in and I'm already noped, does anyone fucking read this and think "Yeah now this is something I can jerk my dick to"?
>>79964573
>>79964966
I would honestly kill a random person to get a chance to bury my face in that ass
>>79970584
>start reading
>think this is a bit odd
>"I place my hand over his mouth, and my knife sinks into his throat."
Of course
>>79970307
true facts
>>79970584
>The next day I wake up late in the morning. I wash up and spend some time shitposting on /tv/.
Alright anon, you got me in.
>>79966002
I don't see it.
White Genocide
>>79972643
Sarah has a bit less face pudge
>>79966002
Jessie Andrews has more facial similarities, but she's not hairy enough.
>>79963578
No, they just got
T H I C C
H
I
C
C
>>79962514
I've been lusting for this MILF ever since I watched her in "Horrible Bosses", I want so very much to see her cucking her husband in Moder Family.
>>79969003
The giant McDonald's sign kills me every time. Would still lick that belly button though.
>>79970584
>>79964391
>>79964339
>>79964573
>>79964966
**I suction cup my mouth to her bare anus cavity, when suddenly**
*BBBRRAAAAAPPPPP*
**A transfer of her intestinal gas right into my mouth and down my throat**
*GULP*
**I try to pull my head away to gasp for air but she won't let me, she reaches behind her and forces the back of my head between her ass cheeks more**
*BRRRAAPP BRAAAPP BRAAAAAAAAPPPPPP PRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT*
**This definitely was more than just air being passed, I felt wet chunks blown in the back of my throat as she forcefully made me swallow them with my mouth still glued to her asshole**
*BRRAAAAAPPP PRRRRRRTTTTT HHUUUUUUPAAAAAAGHAUSHUFHSSGSD*
>"Oh yea baby you like that, don't you little fuck boi, huh? Whos your mommy? That's right, I'm your mommy, now it's time for baby fuck boi to get his protein in. Open wide"
**She said to me aggressively, as she forced another one out**
*BRRRPPPRRRRRRRRRRBBBRRAAAAAPPPTTTAAATTTTRRRRRPPPTTTT*
**What tasted like a mustard pudding was ejected out of her colon. I threw up in my mouth from the taste, but she kept my head and mouth firmly lodged between her ass cheeks so nothing left my mouth. There was so escaping this one**
>"P-PLEASE! R-RELE-EASE ME!"
**I said with my mouth full of shit**
**She turned around, gave me a look like in pic related. And simply shook her head "NO!"**
**Fearing for my life, I swallowed her bowel movement, and she finally released me from her anus**
**GASPING FOR AIR**
>"So hows that for eating ass?"
**She said in a smug and condescending way**
>>79972808
Kind of like this.
>>79973001
please go back to /d/
>>79973001
>>79973051
>>79973117
reminds me of that bitch from gossip girl
>>79973202
wow is that riley reid
>>79973202
she looks a bit retarded
more?
>>79973253
rude
>>79964986
>Sofia Vergara's voice is fucking abhorrent
this her character is defined by 'squawk squawk squawk'
>>79973333
I like the voice, too bad she's waxed from the neck down.
>>79969138
>she will NEVER castrate you with her teeth
just die in my sleep already
( ._.) ( ;_;)
>>79965563
>>79970584
This is next fucking level. Is all fan-fic like this?
>>79973562
world's most popular mohel
>>79973640
Yeah most fanfictions involve graphic play by play first person accounts of butchering a human body and raping the corpse.
>>79973202
>those feet
>>79972927
i watched this movie only because of her
not really worth it but she was hot as fuck
>>79962514
she's a violent pegger
>>79971164
nice thumbnail you fucking cunt
>>79974309
I've never been able to find a full sized version of it and I assume the anon I saved it from couldn't either which is why he posted it. If you have one by all means post.
>>79973202
need those feet in my mouth
>>79962514
>when he gets to come home to this MILF every night?
hot sluts are dead in the sack
this thread neds more of ariel master race
>>79974468
>I've never been able to goggle image search
>>79975049
>cellulite
What is it with Americans and obese women?
>>79962514
Jewish writers and show runners, everyone does their bit
>>79975189
dont h8 m8 i r8 8/8
>>79975189
>implying i am American
>>79975299
dem feet
>>79975299
>hairy back
even worse somehow
rip ;__;
>>79964339
>that scar on her tits ruining her number one asset in the buisness
what a dumb whore. i hope from the bottom of my heart her career dies after the show
>>79962514
How is there only 2 pictures of her in a thread about her? Stop posting the ugly bitch kids
>>79975299
BRRRRRAPPPPP....
>>79975406
goat tier milf
>>79975404
Holy sweet mother of fuck
>>79975424
i am more an ass man
>>79975404
I honestly wish she'd just died or something. Seeing her now is like seeing some sort of miserable quadriplegic handicapped burn victim being wheeled around trying to pretend they're just having the life they had before.
>>79974764
>>79975299
those feet are perfect
>>79975571
so you could never really love her. you would always be thinking how much etter her tits could be everytime you see the disgusting scar
>>79975299
BBBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP
>>79975404
I love you so much. More than you can even understand
>>79970584
>Luke hits the plate.
>>79975501
Holy shit this kid is a fucking prodigy.
I can't imagine it would be a easy job to look disgusted while you get supreme ass in fucking tights rubbed in your face
>>79965563
alien covenant viral photo? too much wheat
>>79976326
cuz hes gay
>>79975406
Ass bitch was better.
>>79971164
His best one to jerk it to is the Kaylie Hooper one.
>>79973001
Huh. Weird dude
>>79965563
>>79976771
>Kaylie Hooper
literally who
>>79977032
Some one off character from 30 rock I think. I don't even watch that show but this one is much hotter than his other two.
http://tv.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600098832
How many years until hyper-realistic r34 gets here?
>>79970584
Why
>>79975406
Daughter was hotter. Not that Megan Pryce isn't hot, she is, but she's always been in stuff where she was second place. Rules of Engagement, Bianca Kaijich or w/e was way hotter than her.
>>79972927
>>79974012
>>79962514
In Weeds season 4 she is in an arc where she has some /ss/ with Nancy's oldest son (and her younger son is caught whacking off to nude pics of his mom). Good times.
>>79977126
>Her hands are big for a girl her size.
Hahahahahaha oh my fuck
the details
>>79965563
>>79977126
>his other two
>reading even one of these to completion, let alone three
For what possible reason.
>>79976914
GOLEM GET YE GONE
>>79965563
Thnk you mr skeltal
>>79963908
YOU SAY NO TO RATCHET PUSSY....
>>79977433
I got hooked on the story by the Modern Family one.
>>79975173
The irony is fantastic.
>>79977896
That must be one compelling story to get through all that then I was out as soon as Haleyrape started.
>>79977166
Her face looks like it's made of marshmallow.
That belly though
>>79977166
That's just sad.
>>79977433
Goodnight ratto
>>79966130
it's what happens when you have babies
>>79966308
hey phil
>>79970307
And has a messed up ass. Someone post that bikini picture where it looks like she has the ass of an 80 year old.
>>79970584
This could have been way shorter. All the torture got boring quickly.
>>79973117
sauce pls i love girls with cute teeth like this.
>>79978624
But then it might not have covered my fetish.
>>79970584
I gotta ask though. For what purpose do you sit down and write down this much torture/rape fan fiction of tv characters. Like, at what point are you watching a tv show and think, you know what these characters need? An indepth torture/gore/rape story.
>>79964573
Is she under the impression those panties are shorts meant to be worn on the outside?
>>79978874
They're basically asking for it. All the eye-rolling, arrogancy and snarkiness. I can't watch a episode of this show without violently killing/raping all these characters.
>>79978908
Are you complaining?
>>79978874
It's clearly an elaborate black comedy. The ModFam one in particular contains a shit tonne of in-jokes you only get if you watch the show regularly.
>>79975425
You know what, you are right, here my contribution to this thread.
>>79977126
I'm one of probably like five people who actually read these, and quite honestly some of the descriptions in these things make me queasy and disturbed despite spending a lot of time watching gore videos on /gif/ thinking I was desensitized. I dunno what it is about it. That part where he buries the guy alive made me fucking feel uncomfortable in my guts and bones the way it's described like no "buried alive" thing ever has.
>>79979458
It's too fucking long.
>>79965102
Esperanza Gomez looks and sounds just like Sofia
>>79973117
name?
>>79973001
god damn why do these make me laugh so much?
>>79979702
That's what she said.
>>79966308
should i paint a rare phil?
>>79968809
>It was a "big" success "for me"!
I dont get it
>>79979842
>>79979998
fuck off you had your thread now move on with your life. you will never be as based as the clay figurines guy who posts here.
>>79968835
White woman over 30-itis
>>79963648
Literally how
>>79968835
Madonna disease, aka aging white woman overtraining with terrible "fitness" diet
>>79977346
kek
>>79969204
Sarah hyland is also a huge disney nerd and literally goes to the park once a week.
is this the Vergara thread?
>>79970584
reading this gave me the overwhelming urge to either kill the author or kill myself
>>79975424
not white knighting but you try living with 2 heavy sacks on your chest.
FATTY HAS FAT SAGGY TITS ON HER CHEST AND GETS THEM REMOVED=tragedy and a crime
Give me a break you greasey neckbreads
>>79981757
>ywn motorboat those MILF latina titties.
>>79981811
not with that attitude
>>79981813`
>>79981793
who is this sugary treat?
Is it bad that I wouldn't mind if Luke and Manny actually get together? Like they joke about it all the time but I do feel there's potential there
>>79981995
Young Vergara that's her natural hair color
you just know
>>79982041
Both are ugg
>>79978262
My one weakness! Thankfully Claire doesn't browse this forum...
>>79979842
>>79979998
Looks like what Alex drew in third grade. I wonder why she never did pursue art... her blog friends on that tumbling website might've convinced her it wasn't feminist enough
>>79963524
>only took 2 posts for the pedos to show up
What went so wrong, /tv/?
>>79982041
hey non-virgins, how do you stop yourself from getting an erection around girls like this?
>>79982224
i don't see women as purely objects for my lust, and sex loses its mystique and wonder when you've had it.
>>79982263
is this where I call you a cuck for thinking women have value other than their holes ?
>>79982224
He doesn't. It's just that his dick is so small he doesn't need to hide it
>>79982355
haha nice jab at the chan culture, re.ddit!
>>79982224
I only get manual erections.
>>79982224
just tuck it into your waistband
ariels career will never die
>>79962514
It's because his wife is a ball busting "empowered" feminist. And his mother in law is a woman.
>>79982041
BRAVO NOLAN
>>79982486
out of the kids i think success will go like this:
future shows tier:
alex
haley
maybe a career tier:
luke
manny
good luck tier:
joe
lily
Post more hairy Hyland faggots.
>>79973640
gore is nothing tbqh. read some trollfics for the real shit.
>>79970584
Why is everyone so shocked by this? This is just some wannabe American Psycho
>>79983165
because half of the board (the ones that report cunny threads and post 'dead meme' in bane threads) are from leddit
>>79982224
do like he's doing it, stealthily holding it down with your free hand
>>79982592
>good luck tier
i know they are just kids, but they fucking suck at acting, its not an excuse though because there are plenty of other kids around their age who can act
>>79983432
looks like its taking all his grip strength to contain it
>>79975299
I will never understand the thought process of chopping of your tits because they sexualize you too much and then posting shit like this.
Never.
>>79981694
Also reminder that Sofia was the only one that told Ariel to not chop them off.
>>79970307
>>79972172
>>79972808
Her complete lack of chin makes me angry.
>>79981149
It's like watching a lava lamp. I could just stare at this for hours.
>>79982592
Luke will get another show, Alex might, Hayley and Manny won't.
>>79978231
Gross
>>79981192
Dressing all slutty, talking in a way only potential lovers talk with eachother, getting all curvy while the mom gets bonier each year, walking in on their parents having sex. Haley dating a weirdi thats basically his dad in every way is a pretty obvious one. All the signs are there.
These girls want to please their father in a different way than what's normal. They list for his huge dick and crave the same semen Claire has been enjoying for all these years.
>Her eyes widen as she looks down at the gun.
>Click.
>I look up. I start to giggle. “Ou… thtupidb bithch,” I sputter. The rifle’s tumble in the dirt must have ground enough soil into it to jam it.
Of all things this is actually what broke my immersion.
>>79962514
>>79964986
>>79981694
>tfw Sofia Vergara is almost a GILF(her son is now 24/25)!!
>>79970584
Can someone summarise this?
I got up to the bit where he kidnaps Alex but there's like another 500 pages
>>79985860
>Can someone summarise this?
No.
>>79985860
A U T I S M
U
T
I
S
M
>>79973117
How much DNA has been imbedded in that couch by this point?
>>79970584
Surprisingly well written for a /tv/ shitposter.
Keeps me right there between arousal and disgust.
>>79982224
Honestly, unless I'm really just pent up or haven't had sex in a long time, I don't think about it all that much. If I'm not thinking about it, it takes an extreme and intentional act to get me sexually excited. Like if my wife comes into me really hard outta nowhere, I get turned right the fuck on. But otherwise I'm spaced the fuck out. That being said, on the off chance that I narb in public, I usually just find something to lean on or have a seat somewhere until it subsides.
>>79986227
>seeing a cute girl who is open to sex
>thinks about the jizz of other men
>>79986471
As gay as it sounds the biggest turn off for me when it comes to that porn producers is that the dude has a tiny dick. Porn is supposed to be fantasy, bubbly tens with huge tits getting reamed by giant cocks. If I want to see a average girl get fucked by a small dick I can just go fuck my girlfriend.
>>79986829
>oh wow, she's really pretty
>just kidding im thinking about the man's dick and semen
>>79986829
You might be gay, if you really think that.
>>79986845
>>79987607
if you've ever masturbated over the beautiful female actress bailey jay, you would also appreciate how important a nice big cock fucking the girl is, considering the guy she used to get fucked by exclusively had a small, deformed, disgusting, disfigured, mutilated american cut pencil dick
her videos became unwankable, makes me wonder what it would be like being black and seeing all these white dicks
>>79988480
>i love dicks when i masturbate
>>79988513
so are you saying you would be happy to watch porn if there was a 2 inch penis fucking the girls or a cock that was literally deformed ?]
whose the freak now?
>>79988579
I don't think about the dick at all.
>>79988600
you are side stepping the question, because you know its a fact that it matters
>>79988689
I'm not side stepping anything, the dick does not matter to me because I'm not a homosexual.
>>79988579
just admit you like dick's fag,
i watch porn for the girls, not the dick you freak
>>79965563
and that why he wants the mother in law
>>79965563
Blech
>>79988843
I don't even care, I'd rail that chick so deep her belly distends again.
>>79962514
phat tits
>>79988706
then stop masturbating to penis on vagina porn then you fucking faggot cuck
>>79988706
your browsing history would suggest you probably are a homosexul
>>79988843
I'd fuck the shit out of Claire, also the fact that it looks like she's pissing just increases my boner. Hi I'm european.
>>79988480
Besides that Baily Jay obviously is not a girl, you were talking about big dicks. Why would you watch big dicks when you're probably average at best? It doesn't make sense, except that you watch porn for the dicks. Which makes you gay?
>>79989458
Of course she's pissing, she's an old hag who's lost control of her bladder. She can't walk five yards without a trickle escaping.
Hey guys, post more Sofia, would ya?
>>79990474
Nah Mexican roasties are trash tier.
>>79990474
ariel is better m8
>>79965102
Cassidy Banks reminds me of hayley 2bh
>>79990497
She is colombian.
>>79990971
All the same shit
>>79977166
>G63 AMG
nice, too bad it's riced up