>40 year old virgin >yeah, right Why does hollywood keep

>>79815026
Have you ever touched a breast and it felt like a bag of sand..?

How does pussy taste?

Seriously..

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Are we supposed to take this seriously?

>>79815164
like a bag of sand

>>79815175
28 years and counting

never masterbated either

>>79815026
haha yeah I can't even imagine a guy being over 20 and still a virgin haha

>>79815245
But the movie guy is twice that age

I'm 8 years away.

>>79815288
I know. That makes it even more ridiculous.

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Who 30 year old virgin here and showing no signs of being stopped?

>>79815288
how do they come up with this stuff haha

29 and 358 days. Wizardry here I come

>>79815359
If you pretend to be that anime gril then I can help you change that ;)

No one said it's a common phenomenon you fuckwit.

There's a reason the other guys in the movie are flabbergasted when they find out.

>>79815359
Rip

>>79815175
He was also doing nofap too. And tbqfh, I can't do nofap for more than 2 days.

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this one at least seems probable

>>79815164
Warm and slightly sour

>>79815420
How have you made it that far? I'll be 27 soon and I'm just about to off myself

>>79815241
Tell us about your lack of masturbation.

>>79815614
>those baggy pants

someone fire that wardrobe director

>>79815677
Why would you do that? Don't off yourself for the vaginal jew

>>79815175

He gets raped in the movie and has to apologize to his girlfriend for it.

>>79815241
>never masterbated either
I don't believe you. Literally how? Not even once just out of curiousity?

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I'm only a level 18 mage, but I'm like 90% I'll make it.

>>79815677
Why? At 27 I just didn't give a damn any longer. Now at 32 outside of 4chan threads I rarely think about it.

>>79815164
good pussy tastes like heaven
bad pussy tastes like garbage

This thread reminds me of why never to take opinions on /tv/ seriously.

>>79815164
Salty milk and coins

>>79815803
what spells have you learned so far

>>79815614
have you actually seen the plot to this? it makes no fucking sense. who in their right mind wouldn't have sex with a virgin?

"Kate is about to graduate. Her biggest dream is to have sex with Ryan Lambert. The only problem is that Ryan refuses to have sex with a virgin. This leads to a hunt for another man to lose her virginity to so she finally can have her dream prince."

>>79816162
ryan is a fucking cuckold ahaahah

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>>79816162

>>79815359
WIZARD!

>>79816162
Virginity is a mental illness and it is contagious. If you are a virgin you are life's ultimate loser and undesirable.

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>>79815026
>tfw had chances to lose my virginity once at 18, once at 19, twice at 20, and 3 times at 21
>tfw the 3 times at 21 and 2 times at 20 were me not being able to get hard enough
>tfw was a 26 year old virgin
>finally said fuck it to the condom and just went in raw and lost my virginity last week
literally best feeling in the world, feel like a faggot for getting so old before it happened but just glad it happened.

>>79815164
mostly your own saliva

>>79815164
Don't brush your teeth for two days
Lick your arm before you go to sleep
Smell it when you wake up

That's what pussy smells like

>>79815026
How do you not lose your virginity by 16? I guess you can be religious...

>>79816765
>Virginity is contagious.

Fuck up.

>>79816765
t. teenager

try paying rent and mortgage with your chad sex points

>>79817043
I pay my mortgage with my money. Then I have sex.

>he's not a MGTOW
Lmaoing at your life rn

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>26yo
>kissless
>hugless
>virgin
>never had any female friends
>live in parents basement
>never had a job
>suicidal and depressed everyday

>>79817283
Sounds pretty comfy desu. Your parents don't mind? You get an allowance or something?

>>79815026
I felt the same when I found out there are good looking virgin males/females over 20.

It's mind-warping when even ugly fucks get laid at one point or another, me included.

>>79817283
hi me

>>79817334
Its not comfy at all
>parents constantly nagging
>job center constantly telling me to apply for a job
>always tired
>just wanna die

For whatever reason, the idea of having sex before marriage was off-putting to me so when I had the opportunity once in highschool I declined to take advantage of it.

Now I'm 21 and women expect so much these days that its not worth jumping through all the hoops to find a decent gf who will probably lose attraction to you later on in life.

>>79817283

ayyyy


at least you're not alone

>>79815026

Anyone who's over 20 and a virgin should just kill himself, honestly. You are a failure of nature and nothing more than a useless parasite on society. You will die alone and miserable so just end your suffering before you become insane and start shooting people up. People that actually aren't such failures as you.

>>79815781
Not him but I used to have a brutal phimosis and first masturbated when I was 21.

>>79817931
>be 19
>15 minutes to being 20
>give a whore $50
>no longer a virgin
>'whew, almost became a schoolshooter'

(You)

>>79817931

Well that's a bit rough but what I don't get is why virgins don't just go iut and fuck some prostitute and see that there's not so much to it. I can for sure see why people get in this downward spiral of depression if they think getting pussy is some kind of insurmountable feat.

>>79815420

Happy (week before your) Birthday bro!

>>79818120
Not him, but in the US prostitutes are illegal and usually not worth the risk of both jail time and herpes

>>79815614
I just noticed that it says "senors" on the sign.

>>79815677
It is not the best feeling but yo get over it, Wizard here.

>>79818170
Getting a prostitute is ezpz if you're not a total retard.

>>79818224
that's cause they're señors, not seniors. Look at them. Half of them are like 40

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>>79815026
you taylored a intricate bait, may i take it

>>79815164
sour and soap

If dubs I'll lose my virginity this year

>>79818261
Joke's on you, I am a retard

>>79815241
Wet dream boy

>>79815245
Y-yeah.. I-I know, right...

>>79817283
You are me.

>>79818120
Because that would feel worse in the long run, having to pay for something that biology is supposed to take care of for you.

>>79815803
That's pretty much where I'm at. I'm not a virgin, but it's been so long that I might as well be. Somewhere along the line, I genuinely stopped giving a shit.

>>79815359
26, but definitely not looking to have sex ever

>>79818261
How? Genuinely curious.

>>79818120
You are missing the point anon. The point is not in shoving your dick in some woman's pussy, but to make that woman want you to do that without paying to her afterwards.

>>79819024
>make that woman want you to do that without paying to her afterwards.

pay her upfront

>>79819024
The point of paying a hooker is to get the inexperience jitters out of the way, and take the pressure off. That way, you're not as anxious when you're trying to get laid for real.

>>79815359
26yo also female, not even joking.
Honestly I don't really mind, like at all.

>>79819302
It's not like this is the main reason we don't get laid. I doubt that after having sex with a hooker i'd become a pussy magnet, or at least less socially retarded.

>>79819542
I'm just speaking from my own experience. I found myself avoiding sexual opportunities, because I didn't want it to be super obvious that I had no idea what I was doing. That feeling gets even worse the older you get.

>>79819502
Tick tock

>>79815359
I masturbate in the regular. Not a virgin or pure.

>>79817079
Paying rent on an apartment isn't paying a mortgage.

>lost my virginity at 21
>im 25 now and last night my girlfiend jerked me off while i told her how much i wanted to have a threesome

>>79815026
38 year old wizard here. Been in relationships with two women. Didn't want sex, so I left. I like being forever alone.

a she devil robbed me of my wizardry a couple weeks ago

i only had 3 years left

>>79817931
Its not easy to suicide bro

Its really a fucking hassle.

>>79818120
I live in my parents basement, it would be embarrassing to bring a whore there.

Also it doesn't seem worth it, I can just continue fucking my onahole, same result.

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also what the fuck would it change for me if I'd pay a 10/10 hooker to fuck with me?
after that I'm supposed to get 4/10s as gf or what?
Seems like a waste of time trying to get some uggo to fuck

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>>79815175
female version

>>79815164
Nothing will prepare you for it at first, it's pretty rough. Think sour, and salty coins but after a while you get used to it and the taste mostly becomes your own saliva.

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>>79817931

>t. 22 yo Sluthate incel

>tfw turning 20 in a month
>still a virgin
>some chick i think wants to fuck me
>keep telling her im a virgin
>she says awwwww and why
>i just say because
>chick randomly sucks my dick at a party once
w-will i make it bros

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>the only point of life is to have sex

>>79820824
yes you will son

You'll be a man soon boi

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>be in apprenticeship at 23yo
>class is full of 17/18yo girls
>behind me sits a girl, long black hair with big bunda
>she constantly asks me something, stuff about the classes or the time or innocent stuff like that
>give one word replies and mind my own business
>girl constantly tries to get a conversation going and tells me her lifestory without me asking, don't even listen and just say "yea" and repeat the last three words but with question mark to not be rude
>just keep giving one word replies and give vague answers when asked something
>sometimes she touches my hair and giggles and I don't know what to do and just move a bit forward with my chair
>once she put her hands on my shoulders and said "oh so strong" or some shit
>another time in PE class she "accidentally" touches my chest (tried to evade and just said "oi" and she backed the fuck off)
>asks for my phone so she can make a selfie with it (refuse of course)
>called me handsome several times and I just laughed it off and pretended I didn't hear it
>constantly asked me for my facecuck and why I don't have one "anon I was searching you but couldn't find your profile :( "
>at some point she stopped trying
>mfw stil la virgin at 26

>>79819502
How'd you land yourself in that situation, especially as a woman?

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>Steve Carrell's character has to abandon his objectively fun hobbies, sell his prized posessions and raise the son of an another man
What did he mean by this?

>>79820847
It is you mong. How else does a species continue to exist?

Tbh fucking is pretty nice friends. I was never a chad, only had sex with one girl mostly

Then i did it like a semi hooker, it was an online ad
And damn it was nice senpai. They really give you love and seriously you can make her cum and shit. Wtf..

I advise you guys to try it, but only if you'll let yourself be you when you're fucking

>>79817283
I understand being kissless but hugless?

>>79815677

just get a prostitute lads jesus

>>79816162
Who WOULD want to? Sex with a virgin is awkward, unconfortable and not fun. They don't know what they're doing and it's a mega turnoff.

>>79817283
>>79817423
Have you tried just getting a job?

>>79815026
One more year and it's me.

>>79823504
Except I don't have a job.

>>79821034
Are you gay my dude?

>>79821034
Look her up and offer to eat her ass

>>79823783
no

>>79821034
>apprenticeship
>in PE class

Ok then.

>>79821034
I hate you so much. no girl has ever flirted with me before

>>79815359
Turning 30 next month

>Being 30 on 4chan
I'm here for life brehs

>>79823283
but the fact that you are the first person they will have sex with is a major turn on.

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>>79823859
no, she also mentioned having a bf.
I don't wanna be where some other dude was

>>79823913
actually a thing in my country

>>79824061
happens constantly to me

its horrible because many of them are very ugly

>>79825095
is she single now?
Then go eat her fat ass you nerd

>>79825387
I already forgot her name desu familia

>>79825934
research, look up the school records, find that ass and eat it

>>79815026
I'm almost 30 and never.

I started considering whores. Funny thing, there used to be one of those "massage" parlors like near where I used to work. Could've easily just slipped over. Somebody told me about later on but I thought it was just some computer repair shop the whole time.

>>79815241
I didn't masturbate for the first time until I was 24 (last year)

25 year old kissless virgin now

>>79817283
Okay in all seriousness how did you end up like this?

>>79817283

i am you and you are me

cept im 27 now

>>79816070
>coins


...holy shit that's exactly right

>>79817283
>be me
>25 years old
>kissless virgin (but don't really care about it honestly)
>have had no friends since I was like 13
>no friends in HS meant no girls
>no friends and no girls meant i didnt learn how to socialize
>continues into and through college, alone there as well

>now post-college
>live at home
>no friends, just go to work at shiity job, come home
>no motivation to go back to school or improve my lot in life because no one and nothign to work towards

>>79826494
How much jizz shot out?

>>79827413
oh man it was crazy. literally 6-7 shots all the way up to my chest

>>79817283
I thought I was on /v/ for a second isn't /tv/ supposed to be a normie board?

>>79827520
That's gay as fuck.

>>79827520
>>79827878
I went nofap for a semester at college because I literally never had an opportunity because my roommate was always there. Finally I came back to my parents' house, opened up some pics of the hot bitch from my highschool graduating class, and continuously came for 30 seconds straight. No exaggeration. I was almost getting bored by the end. Felt like I traveled to another planet.

>>79815359
Turning 24 next month. Thinking about getting an escort before then to get this monkey off my back.

Should I do it?

>>79828916
Is that gonna make you feel accomplished?

>>79828983
It will get the inferiority complex that comes from being a virgin out of my head.

I think once I get some sexual experience under my belt I'll be less nervous when trying to talk to real girls.

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>= 20 yo
>virgin

wEw

>>79815858
Good pussy tastes like heaven, bad pussy tastes like everywhere.

>>79829102
The only good thing that come of it is "practice" and the peace of mind of knowing what to do when you're with a real girl. But after you pay a disgusting literal whore money to let you put your dick in a festering diseased hole that five men before you have been that day, I think you're mostly just going to come out feeling shame.

The patrician path is forcing yourself to go out and talk to women at a bar until one deems you worthy of cocking her.

>>79818009
How did it feel? How long did you take?

>>79815026
it's easy when you know how 44 years and its looking like i'm going to the grave with the wrapping still on

>>79829518
Dude I've never felted compelled to say this, but you are way too fucking old to be here, you faggot.

>>79829575
been here since i quit my last job in 2008 you little dipshit

>>79828015
iktf. I went no fap for about 2 weeks and I played Princess Trainer in the morning. held off from fapping and blue balled myself until the evening. jizzed for about 30 seconds and so much cum came out my balls hurt. that was the best fap I've had in my life

>>79829102
Asian massage parlor
Its easy as fuck to get a handjob in any city (even small ones, look up tugmaps)

Its cheaper than an escort, its WAY easier and way less risky.
You arent having full sex, but you are getting a great massage and jerked off. It refreshes you like you wouldnt believe.

You have a better chance of having a good time than with an escort honestly.

Youll feel how great it is, youll glow for a while, then youll look back and see how shallow it is to pay someone for it.
It certainly will help you feel better around women, itll let you take pussy off of a pedestal because obviously we type of guys are looking for a relationship

>>79829600
Been here since 2007, newfag; get a job.

>>79815781
Also not him, but I just don't find masturbation sexually stimulating. Is it supposed to make you ejaculate? What's the point of having the physical aspects of sex without the psychological aspects?

>>79829633
>look up tugmaps)
rubmaps**
Its been a while

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>>79815658
>>79820758
>>79816070
>>79816795
Jesus the fuck kinda women you guys fucking with? Absolutely fowl

>>79829669
anything you can fail i can fail better

>>79829676
>What's the point of having the physical aspects of sex without the psychological aspects?

Thats what porn or your imagination is for.
You can fap for hours and not reach climax if you arent in the mood or mentally stimulated.

>>79829765
yep. i even fell asleep while fapping. one time i fell asleep while having sex lol boy she was mad

>>79829707
I always know when my g/f is getting horny because her juices smell like a sweaty shit. She's 19 and was a virgin so was I. Is this not common?

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>>79829669
>>79829600
>tfw been here since 2007 and quit my last job in 08

Really.
Its like its the twilight zone

>>79829825
the 14yo is lying

>>79829617
>Princess Trainer
Oh fuck, dude, I've blasted some thick nasty loads to Jasmine in that one outfit where you can see her tits through the veil.

>>79829861
I'm 27 actually, Grandpa Nigger. Go contribute to society or kill yourself asap. Preferable the latter.

>>79829633
I live in a major city and I have absolutely no chance of getting laid. How much would one of these cost, on average?

>>79829963
don't have to, i get welfare off the gubmint paid for by your good self

>24th birthday was coming up
>still a kissless virgin
>only been on one date
>decided to ask a girl out
>went well
>fucked her on the second date
>asked another girl out a week later
>fucked her on the second date
>nows she's been my GF for a month

I wonder how much pussy I missed out on. Literally all it took was for me to just ask out a girl.

23 year old here, I'm not sexually attracted to anyone

>>79816070
How to spot an oldfag, was going to post this

>>79815359
31 yo virgin here. In my 30th bday I came in terms with the fact that sex is something I'll never experience.

>>79830096
>second date

those are whores anon

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>>79830047
>bragging about this
wew pleb

Stay an unfulfilled permavirgin, you pathetic excuse for a """"man"""".

>>79830026
Depends on the place
There is a whole song and dance you have to do, but its easy. Google it.

You pay for a whole hour massage up front (near me favorite place is 60 bucks)
After the massage is half over and youve initiated it, you have to haggle with them for a "tip" which the standard near me is 40$ for a handjob.

could be more expensive depending on where you are.
An escort will easily cost double or triple plus having to get a motel cause I know we all live at home.

>>79830180
Have you ever considered just ordering a prostitute?

>>79830240
backpage got shut down

>>79830216
ok

>>79830235
Thank you so much. I've been wanting to do something like this for ages. What's the probability of getting arrested?

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>>79830096

>just ask her out bro, works every time

>>79830318
> What's the probability of getting arrested?

Almost 0
There pretty much has to be a police raid while the act is happening (and if it actually happened the main lady would warn everyone). Massages arent illegal, giving a girl a tip isnt illegal

As opposed to hiring an actual prostitute with police stings looking for traffickers and people trying to rob you and shit

>>79830442
Thank you so much, anon.

>>79830240
In the past yes, but I always chickened out. Now I just don't really give a fuck about sex.

>>79830370
>implying I'm a Chad

I'm a 5/10 on a good day who still has acne at 24.

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>I can count 7 different girls I could have dated back in high school
>girls I liked literally asked me to go out/said they wanted to fuck
>total autist mode and would reply with "haha no thanks" or some shit like that
>realize how dumb I was back then
>now 23 and still klv
>every girl I'm interested in says no
>every girl interested in me I say no because I have standards
>I realize I might just have to lower my standards if I want to fuck a chick
>what do

>>79832063
>lower standards
>fuck with the lights out

>>79832187
what if she's a fatty and I get sucked into the abyss?

I always wonder how someone can just slip between the cracks like this. I know the feeling well and I just can't wrap my head around the fact that some people just have a normal life without putting effort into it. I can't even begin to imagine what that must be like.

>>79832509
Tether yourself to the leg of a desk before descending.

>>79832552
The truth of the matter is that if video games and the internet didn't exist you'd be balls deep in a 7/10 at this very moment.

>>79830096
>has contact with girls in the first place
epic simply epic

>>79832702
those don't stop 99% of the population from having an ordinary life

>>79832552
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anomie

>>79833549
>rates of virginity among adults exploding
>places like japan the population is actually going down
>amount of adults living with their parents highest in decades

Its not 99% of the population, what we consider "normal" is rapidly changing.
Dont get too caught up or dwell on in it.

>>79833549
Because they don't let those things consume them.

Add anime to my list of things to eradicate, and I've literally cured social autism.

>>79833752
>Add anime to my list of things to eradicate, and I've literally cured social autism.

Then they'd just find something else to become obsessed with. Weebism is a symptom, not cause and you'd have to change the wider social environment that allows people to fall through the cracks until they're 25 year old KHV NEETs with 2d waifus

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>>79817283

thanks for making me feel better about my life

>>79817283
28 here
almost the same but at least i have a job
until my anxiety makes me leave it, i suppose

>>79826624
In 13 years you'll be his age, and then you'll understand.

>>79832702
>tfw you aren't into videogames, computers or anime and still got the short end of the stick
Life just hates some people apparently

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>>79821034
>one night at gf house
>she's acting lethargic for some reason like she's upset
>ask her what's wrong
>she won't tell me
>tells me she wants to try anal
>never done it so whatever
>feels awful as her ass is so tight its crushing my dick
>for some reason she's moaning louder and louder
>is it really that good for her?
>has her face in a pillow screaming telling me to go faster
>finally pushes me away and runs to the bathroom
>what was that all about?
>i've been constipated for like a week and they said anal was good for that in that seth rogan movie and boy was it ever i don't think i can walk
>she wasn't screaming in pleasure she was screaming in pain
>developed an odd scat fetish after that

>>79819502

Are you morbidly obese? Do you have some kind of severe physical deformity? What mental disorders do you have? Please respond.

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>>79815359
26
Fat
No hobbies or social media
Never had an official gf
Never kissed a girl, never hugged a girl
Never even gotten close

Make matters worse I barely leave the house since I work from home and live with my parents.

>>79835500
i kinda know that feel

25 years old.

>havent played video games my entire life
>have never watched a single anime episode ever
>masturbate only once a week on the weekend
>obsessed with sports

I dunno, I don't have any classically "nerdy" interests besides the internet addiction I have that came from having no friends/gf. Then again, I don't really have any interests at all besides sports, watching TV shows and the internet so that's probably why.

>>79838072
>sports
>not nerdy
>not autistic

>>79838346
sports is by far the most "normie" thing to watch

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>>79836146
Dude.

>>79838538
Lurk /sp/ for an hour and get back to me.

Recently got my autism diagnosis. The game was rigged from the start.

>>79815026
Tfw i was supposed to lose my virginity last saturday.
I had set up a little meetup with a girl i met online. She immediately fucks off upon seeing me.

Being ugly and black sucks sometimes. Im atleast 90% sure thats why she fucked off.

>>79821034
If it makes you feel better, a girl once asked me to prom, and I didn't notice.

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>>79817283
similar to me, except I'm only 22

hang in there bro

>>79815288
thats how you know it's fictional

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going outside gives me a headache
and as we all know thats where the girls are

>>79839181
I wont lurk boards unless they like little girls. Not worth the effort otherwise.

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>>79839519
iktf

im at the point where i'm so embarrassed by not only my current life situation, but everything that's led up to this point, that i'm honestly too humiliated to even really talk to people, because if i talk about stuff, theyll see what a loser i am

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/fit/ here, picrelated 33 y-o

Just get in shape and work on yourself.
I used to be an obese depressed videogame addict with acne, until I had enough and decided to do something about it when I turned 20 y-o.

I got in better shape, got on accutane for zits and started to leave my house more often to be social.

Yall losers simply need a kick in the ass so you can turn your life around
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iaLQZ73ujQ

PS: another option would be to hire a prostitute, there is literally no shame in that