>chracter takes a shit >he doesn't spend the next

>character doesn't have mushy diarrhea every day

>character wipes
>he doesn't examine the toilet paper after to see how much more wiping he'll have to do

>character takes a shit
>wipes
>doesn't check the paper for shit

>>79726390
>character lives on minimum wage
>he can afford toilet paper

>character is poor
>has name brand products

>character shits in 2017
>doesn't wipe using mcdonalds napkins

>character poops
>not into a sink like a normal person

>character doesn't shit in the shower

>>79726390

Either start eating more fibrous vegetables like cabbage or shave your asscrack so shit doesnt get caught in your hair. And dont hold in shits, the moment you feel like you wanna go drop what youre doing and go to the shitter

>t. guy who ghosts it every time

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>>79726390
>character takes a shit
>doesn't jump up in the air when the splashback hits

>>79726390
>character takes a shit
>it's not in the trash can in a Wendy's bathroom.

>character doesn't take a backwards shit

>female character pees on camera while in the middle of intense and dramatic dialogue
E V E R Y netflix original series has this
why is it a trend?

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>>79726390
>character takes a shit
>there's no blood when he wipes himself

>>79726906
It's empowering you bigot

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>character doesn't reach his hand deeply inside his ass two pull his shit out manually

>>79726738
>all the products the character consumes happen to be either facing a certain direction every time or inexplicably covered in some guff like duct tape or permanent marker

>>79726390
>>79726987
I hate how I can relate to this

>>79726782
>the moment you feel like you wanna go drop what youre doing and go to the shitter
I disagree, I also have good luck with ghosting but if I go when I only sort-of need to shit, there's a higher chance of it coming out halfway then becoming a problem because the end of the shit isn't as solid.

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>character shits
>just gets up and pulls up his pants

>>79726906
Not trying to defend it, but I've know a bunch of chicks who will just randomly take a piss with the door open and having a conversation.

>character shits
>doesnt hold head in his hands mumbling 'oh god please not again' ass painfully long diarrhoea begins.

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>Character shits at work
>doesnt cut up asshole with the shitty office toilet paper

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>take a nice hot shower
>Ready for the day all clean
>Step out
>Have to take a shit
>Head to the toilet to the shit as it wafts in the steamy bathroom.

>>79727097

I've rolled around on the floor in pain from my shit perforating my skin.

>character shits
>realises it's gonna be awhile so takes off shirt

>>79727110
wow. on average how much do you think your shit weighs?

>character takes a shit
>doesn't wet his hand, rub it on soap and then rub his ass with the soapy hand to get it extra clean
Really takes me out of the experience

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>character takes shit
>doesn'twipe
>doesn't check
>pulls pants up
>pushes toilet button without checkin
>washes hands
>wtf was this scene for, writers mistake realism for watching the lead take a fucking dump

>>79727280

you joke but sometimes i do this if i shower right after shitting

>>79727067
I had to do something like this once.
I got really constipated? while pooping.
It got clumped hard inside my butt while I tried to poop it out, got stuck.
I felt like I was gonna die and freaked out a little.
I somehow stuck my hand inside my butthole and had to take it out manually.
I don't know how I did it, since I can't even handle just fingering myself.

>>79727330
>he doesn't shower right after finishing pooping
wtf?
You gotta be prepared to get your bussy ate every time.

>>79726782
>And dont hold in shits
But it feels so good.

>>79726774
>and mush it down the plug hole while is mushes between his toes

>>79727380
>washing your ass
I bet you don't even eat dick cheese

>character doesn't use poop socks

dropped

>>79727380

I had to break that habit.

>take a shit
>impulsively decide to have a quick 10min shower to freshen up after a long day
>soaping up in the shower
>lather up dick and balls, get slightly aroused
>wash butthole as well
>get even more aroused
>grab dildo + lube from shelf
>spend the next 60 minutes masturbating in the shower until the water runs cold
>then have to take a cold shower to clean off the cum and lube all over my body

This would srsly happen like every single day and it pissed off my roommate hugely.

>>79727454
if you had been in the army you'd know that a week without shitting is no problem

>>79727097
it's fine
there's nothing wrong with caring about a clean butthole

>>79726390

shave your ass hair and clean up your diet

character turns off the engine of the car and the music of the movie stops.

>character takes a shit
>its onto a guys face for a music video

>>79727608
>>79726782
Ass hair has important purposes you idiots. Don't shave your ass hair because you're too poor to afford a bidet

>>79727608
read the thread before you post you stupid nigger

>>79727681
>ass hair has important purposes
Name 6.

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>character takes a shit on another mans face

made me think

>>79727698
hair translaplant
ass beard
nice bussy smell
hide stuff inside
keeps your balls warm
stylish

>>79727608
>doesn't enjoy the simple pleasures like wiping your ass and checking for ripped out ass hair

>>79727698
it helps your body regulate sweat in the ass region and helps prevent chafing. if you shave it you will notice major swamp ass almost immediately

>>79727451
I love giving my bf oral whenever he has to go a few days without showering (he's an otr truck driver).
Love that he's uncut to boot, but I will not eat a poopybutt.

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>>79727754
so.... women have swamp asses?

what's a swamp ass btw

>character takes shit
>doesn't take it out of the toilet and use it to style their hair

>>79726660

This always breaks the immersion for me.

>>79727742
>hair transplant
im not saying shave your ass, just your asscrack
>ass beard
see above
>nice bussy smell
asscrack hair smells like nothing and best and shit at worst. i should know.
>hide stuff inside
...i guess?
>keeps your balls warm
no. thats basic anatomy
>stylish
fair

>>79727185
>not shitting into your hand and throwing it in the toilet

Dumb frogposter.

>>79727785
It's like swass.

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>>79726390
>he doesn't use toilet paper and then finish up with a baby wipe

>>79727767

>hooked up with a 10/10 ex-professional rower who was ripped and hairy all over
>we cuddled after and he let me lick his chest
>tfw i was too embarrassed to ask if i could huff his armpit smell

Fuck. Not a day goes by I dont regret the missed opportunity.

>>79727827
I remember I used to be a serious germaphobe because of OCD.
I had to poop while standing, missed the toilet once.
The poolog was way too big, I had to pick it up with my hand.
Those were dark times.

>>79727785
maybe I'm using the wrong phrase because it's not my native language

essentially you will notice a massive increase in the amount of sweat produced in the area where the hairs used to be. it can be very uncomfortable

>>79727862
I asked my bf if I could sniff his armpit the day we met, I hadn't done that before.
The scent was magical.

>character takes a shit
>he doesn't wrap it in a plastic bag and throw it at a synagogue

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>>79726390
>character visits the water closet in order to vacate his bladder
>urine is almost clear in color rather than a dark brown-ish orange

>>79727476
all fags should be shot.

>>79727785

Yeah I licked a girls ass the other day and it was disgusting. Had to get her to go freshen up before I went back to it.

>>79727754
so women have swamp ass?

>>79727940
how would I know?

>>79727823
>im not saying shave your ass, just your asscrack
What is it like to have a hairy ass?

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>>79727767

>>79727925
Inserting things in your butt and stimulating your prostate is actually very healthy and good for you.
It makes the body produce more vitamin b and detoxifies your body.

>>79727985
me when I had to suck circumsized dick before meeting my bf

>>79727984

comfy. feels nice to pat.

>>79727931
lol what a pussy ass nigga

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>character takes a shit
>it didn't took him 30 minutes

>>79727476
He could help you out desu

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>character doesn't wet the paper under the tap or use wet wipes to ensure he/she is clean

The idea of people being satisfied with only using dry pieces of paper to clean out their shitty assholes is mindblowing to me, I bet all their underwear has shit-stripes in them after sitting down and grinding the underwear into their cracks all day

>>79728005
Do you ever pull your ass crack hair?
Sometimes I would do it in the shower, didn't really hurt.
Kinda fun actually.

>>79727988
haha this is what fags actually believe. I still stand by my statement.

>character doesn't blow his asshole out shitting clumpy diarrhea then proceeds to wipe off bloody shit meanwhile shitposting on the internet and laughing their ass off.

>>79727169
the front door?

>>79728029
I have a bachelors in nursing.
What are your credentials, other than shitposting on redditchan?

>>79727785
Shave your armpits, its similar feeling.

>>79728021
This.

>>79728049
kill yourself faggot

>>79728049
I'm a trained navy seal with over 300 confirmed kills and a hot girlfriend who just blew me
So fuck you

>>79728021
Americans literally mutilate their son's penises for no reason. don't expect them to apply logic to their daily habits

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>>79727754
I'd rather deal with some extra sweat in the crack than having fecal matter entangled in my asshole-hair, thank you very much

>>79728050
But I do shave my armpits because it actually makes life a lot easier and looks better. Maybe I should start shaving my ass too.

>>79728049

I'm a professional Baneposter. I started at 275k/yr.

>>79728108
>Jews literally mutilate their son's penises for no reason. don't expect them to apply logic to their daily habits

ftfy

>>79728127
>it actually makes life a lot easier
Please elaborate.

>>79728150
it helps me attract nice juicy BBC

>>79728074
so none?
I win.

>>79728146
>80% of Americans are Jews

Mudslimes and tribal desert niggers do it too though

>>79728150
If I don't shave my armpits they have huge disgusting bushes that collect sweat and shit.

Also I'm pretty sure it's just like that with my ass.

only faggots don't shave their ass

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>>79728002
>when I had to

>>79728002
>had to

>>79728024
obviously. you twirl a bunch of them together and then give it a good rip

>>79727754

>not shaving your ass to keep you smooth for daddy

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>>79727067

>he doesn't know about the 3 seashells

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>character pisses
>doesn't wipe ass to make sure it is clean

Anyone else do this? I find that there is a bit of poop to wipe most times. Must sneak out during the day.

Also holy fuck check out this captcha

>>79728368
>he

>>79728402
>character is not using legacy captcha
Do Americans really do this?

>>79727902
>What is Spider-Man 2: Director's Cut

>>79728428
>not solving captcha of some weebs waifu shrine

typical eurofag

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>>79728402

If poop is sneaking out of a loose sphincter, you need to cut back on Jamal's BBC, friendo.

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Browsing this thread and taking a shit at the same time is really cathartic, thank you anons

>>79728239
>>79728269
I wasn't gonna sit at home and be a waste of space after my ex broke up with me...
Besides, I didn't start doing shit until last year.
I, while a little easy, didn't whore around.

>>79728487
>there are people that shit for 5 minutes+
TFW ROCKET SHITS FROM COFFEE

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>>79726798

>splashback

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>character brushes teeth
>has a conversation while brushing
>no foam visible anywhere on lips or mouth
>spits, still no foam

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>>79727870

I'm glad my OCD has never been that bad. Bloody fissures from sticking a finger wrapped in toilet paper up my ass is where the bar currently resides.

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>>79728049
>I have a bachelors in nursing.
mfw you use the word "detoxifies the body"

>>79727404
U r a gay

>>79728948
I only take feminine girl penises up my butt.

>character takes a shit
>no dark red blood in his stool
wtf how am i supposed to relate to this

>character takes a shit
>doesn't use half a roll wiping
>doesn't have to buy a new 12 pack of toilet paper every week

>>79727931
>putting your tongue in anyone's asshole

>>79730100
How long until you get your wizard powers?

>>79730134
>implying you have to lick asshole to get laid regularly

Do you honestly, genuinely believe this?

>>79730182
I'm so sorry that you've never had a relationship before. It must be really lonely for you.

>>79730261
>implying you have to lick your girlfriends' assholes

Do you honestly, genuinely believe this?

Like really man, a large portion of people, I would argue most people enjoy sexual activity without ever putting tongues inside assholes.

>>79730261
Believe it or not, most people see assholes and tongues as things that should never touch. Crazy I know

>>79730302
sometimes you just gotta get weird with it. Life's short anon.

>>79730302
>>79730332
>not doing something just because you think you shouldn't
Have fun missing out on life, I guess.

>>79726738
Im poor and I drink named products like olde english 800 malt liquor

>>79730422
Uhh buddy, it's more about the fact that shit comes out of assholes and I don't want my mouth on it or my tongue in it. Fucked 15 chicks so far, not one has requested that I tongue their shithole

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>character must solve captcha
>select all images with street numbers
>click verify once there are none left

>>79730422
have fun getting shit in your mouth lmao

>>79730473
>street numbers keep appearing like kerchiefs from the hand of a magician

>>79730469
So you've just fucked 15 trashbags so far then? Let me know when you meet a real woman.

>>79726738
That's why he's poor, he makes poor financial decisions.

>>79730756
14 of them were hot, wonder what kind of trashy hoebags you're disappointing that demand you toungue their cellulite flanked assholes you mongoloid lmao

>>79730796
>fucking someone you don't find attractive
>resulting to namecaling
Keep trying to defend your closed-minded choices, garbagefucker. I don't know why you'd want to limit your experiences, but that's up to you.

>>79728716

>Character brushes teeth.
>Doesn't gag and have to sit on the floor for ten minutes to keep from throwing up.

>>79731060
>tell dude that I don't lick assholes
>he uses this to wildly speculate that I am a virgin
>doesn't understand that a chick not being hot and being fuckable are not mutually exclusive concepts

I'm starting to think that you've had like two nasty busted gfs and you lick their sweaty cracks, then use this to claim some sort of higher understanding. I've fucked multiple models, one of them an internet famous redhead, Know your place at the bottom, boy.

>>79731097
I unfortunately relate to that.

>>79731192
>multiple models
>browses 4chan
So you live with your mom then? How were those tendies tonight?

>>79731247
Nah I live with my friends, believe it or not normal and dudes, and even guys who slay pussy do use 4chan. Reddit gets old quick.

>>79731247
Regardless, enjoy your girl's sweaty asscrack lmao, sounds like you know how to pick em :^)

>character takes a shit
>doesn't look at it before flushing

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>character takes a piss
>he does it in the toilet instead of directly into jars so that they can be added to the collection in his closet

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>character goes to take a shit
>doesn't take off all of his clothes before he sits on the toilet

>>79726653
kek, fucking this!

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>character takes a shower
>he doesn't immediately sit down

>>79726987

i was pooping about half a cup of blood every time, then it went away, then it came back, then it went away, then it came back. currently it is away