Ever get caught sneaking food into a movie theater? How

>>79558157

Killing myself.

fanny pack with a burrito in it

>>79558193
i tried to sneak in a pizza slice in my clear fanny pack

i didn't get away with it :(

Sushi is actually underrated cinema food, get the stuff in the plastic pack and put it in an inner coat pocket, no rustling and delicious fishu

Also the people who bring cans of soda are mad man tier, that initial opening pop gets everyone's head in the cinema turning like the Gustapo looking for jews

>paying for overpriced cinema food

>living in a country where guys working at a cinema actually care about something like that

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I carried a burrito in its original Chipotle bag in my hand, and no one cared enough to stop me

I once took some fine-ass pussy to the cinema. Usher turns to me and says "sir you can't eat that in here"

They don't have a problem with it here anymore, you don't even have to conceal it

what's the point. it takes me like litteraly 30 seconds to eat what ever I'm eating. I eat it by the time I got to the theater. I always eat subway and burgers and shit while driving

Only time i ever was told i couldnt bring something in was when i had a big cuo of DD coffee, they told me i either had to finish it or throw it out. There was no way i was chugging it so just to spite them i pretend tripped and spilled it everywhere.

My local theatre is in a mall and while they frown on hot food being taken into the theatre they don't necessarily give a shit if you bring something in that you bought in the mall.

That being said, I'm not necessarily eating anything that might be sloppy in a dark room so if I bring anything in it'll be a pack of candy that's $6 cheaper than the same pack they sell at the concession stand.

>>79558479
Oh my God you met Usher??

I literally didn't think people did this. Jesus Christ. You fuckers are pigs. Can't got an hour without snacking on something.

>>79558432
this desu

top kek

>>79558157
No.

>How would you handle it?
"Worth a try"

>>79558519
That theatre is trash. I always bring in a coffee in with me when I go to mine and nobody gives a shit.

After the Paris attacks they started checking bags again at my local theatre, had a drink and a bag of sour patch kids in there. They looked at them and didn't give a shit.

My m8s camera on the other hand they put in a safe until the movie was over.

>Movie in december
>perfect time to sneak food into the cinema
>I rip out some of the stuffing from my winter jacket and sew Buncha Crunch, Popcorn , Twizzlers inside of it as well as a few bottles of soda
>Get my ticket, walking up to the ticket checker
>Sweating, this is it, I hope my plan works out
>Right on time the designated shooter I bribed starts firing off in the lobby , the ticket checker runs off to figure out why the shooter is off schedule
>Now is my chance , I make it for the door to the theatre
>all of a sudden another ticket checker walks around the corner and takes the post
>N-nani?! This wasn't in my plan
>I hand over my ticket , my jacket rustling with food
>My eyes meet the ticket-checkers "Sir I need to pat you down"
>I raise my hands as he feels over me, his hands clenching my stash
>"Sir you need to come with me"
>Shit, I make a break for it running for the threatre door , before I feel his flashlight wand impact the back of my knee sending me tumbling forward
>The minimum wage employee wraps his arm around me trying to put me in a choke hold
>I whistle as my falcon swoops down and scoops out his eyes , my last resort
>I kick him off me as more guards come running at me flashlight wands in hand
>I run right at them as I leap over their heads doing some sick parkour as I make my way to the emergency exit, sirens blaring as I see the blast doors starting to go down, the entire cinema is on lockdown
>I pull out a packet of candy and throw it at the push in handle as the door opens, the shutter almost at the bottom , I slide under it and make it outside just as my falcon swoops under with me as the steel door closes down

What a pain in the ass, Im not going to an AMC cinema again

>>79558582
Yes he let me "peace up" on Bieber's "a-town"

I don't get it, why would you have to sneak it in?

>>79558157
I just unmasked my falcon and he took care of shit.

I thought everyone have a theater falcon at this point.

>>79558157
No, but I have had a women smuggle a bag of wine in her purse. It is not as much wine as you think it would be, its only three bottles. between two people you drink it rather quickly.

>>79558649

>he cant bring guns, explosives or cameras to the theatre

what next, are u guys not allowed to bring your falcon either?

>>79561292
I bring my explosive flatulence in the theatre with me every time I go, lad.

Tell me again about freedom?

>>79558969
Did this really happen?

>>79558446
this so much

for the longest time I thought this was just a meme like falcons, showers and crab legs but no, it's actually real in the us

Yeah, I once ordered a pizza and the delivery guy had to buy a ticket just to reach me in the theater.

Did't even tip lol. What a cuck.

>>79558515
>subway and burgers
jesus how fat are you.

>>79561354
I really hope you're joking

>>79558969
I had something like that once, only I took iced tea instead of soda

Got caught once at my local cinema smoking. They put me in the theatre jail for a day then I had to either pay the $3000 fine or take a 6 months stop smoking class.
I took the class. When you complete the program they brand you with a small symbol to show you passed.

>>79561448
What do you mean?

>>79561401
how fake is this story

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I am a son of very influential man. It's not a problem to me.

>>79558157
I put it in my pocket you autist, not like they will search you

I smuggled a foot long sausage up my ass but the the kinoplex had surprise cavity checks that day and found the sausage.
They asked me what I was doing with it.
First excuse I came up with was that I don't chew my food.
They confiscated it and kicked me out with a month long ban.
They said if I showed my face again in that month they would shove that sausage back up my ass.

>>79561448
:thinking:

I have a secret compartment in my anvil where I keep snack.

>>79561633
duh

>>79561768
They don't x-ray the anvils at your kinoplex?

>>79558157
It's illegal in brazil to not allow bringing your own food into a movie theater

>>79561439
Fat

>>79558157
My father owns a cinema so we get to bring whatever food we want.

>>79562153
have you considered suicide

>>79562174
he cant be that fat, the subway cancels out the burger

>>79558969
>he went alone

fake story anon

>>79561368
i imagine they escort you out at gunpoint if you don't obey the cinema laws

>>79558157
do amerifats really have to eat food while watching a movie? fuckfaces can't leave their fried chicken popcorn soda alone for 2 hours.

>>79562136
Yeah but the amount of designated shooters they hire is a bit ludicrous

>>79561706
How long did it take before you fell in on the temptation?

>>79561768
Wouldn't the hollow sound give it away?

>brought a burger and fries
>The foil sounded off the metal detector
>Get patted down
I just ate it outside but I missed the previews which I actually like to watch

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Hid an entire pizza + some vodka under my winter coat to watch Sinister with a few friends

>>79558353
I also eat sushi in cinemas, though around here nobody cares if you bring in external food.
>Quiet
>Not messy at all
>Delish

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I once got inside the theater with five bacon cheeseburgers, choco bars, an entire pizza with ham, olive, oregano, cheese and bacon, and strawberry juice.

It was okay, it was a very crunchy lunch!

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>feelin hella devilish
>make a nice tasty British Sunday dinner for cinema on a Wednesday
>have all of the piece of food in separate food seal bags with plate inside large bag
>gravy is nice and hot in a flask
>pay to see a film /tv/ disliked
>go alone
>film starts and I whip out my plate
>start plating bits of food on the plate
>pour gravy on the food
>throw leftover gravy flask onto my seat next to me
>finish my dindins and scrape leftover gravy onto the floor for the cleaners to clean the mess

>>79558157
No because I don't live in MURRICA and taking own snacks to movies is normal here.

>>79562609
>Clearly said his falcon was with him

Actually read the damn story next time.

I don't see why anybody would make this up. I believe anon.

Panda Express is god-tier movie food

I bring a flask with me on most occasions

>>79558460
>This
I walked into the cinema carrying a fucking Subway sandwich and drink like a boss

>>79558353
That's how you know your alpha if you pop that soda like Champagne and look the person next you directly in the eyes while you chug that shit.

>>79566712
This except I like my authentic Chinese
> get a large takeout box full of Shrimp fried rice
> tuck in shirt and tighten belt, zip up hoodie
> keep my left hand in my hoodie pocket with my phone to hide any peak or bulge.
> lights turn off, volume rises, unzip hoodie, untuck shirt and pull out SFR box and utensils from my pocket.

That's unbeatable, rice should be sold in theaters it's a good filler food that isn't dry corn, butter and cheese dust.

>>79563195
Well, it happened last year in February.
The month ended and I thought it was March so I returned to catch a show.
Turned out it was Leap Year so it was actually Feb. 29th and they sodomized me with that sausage all day and night til March finally rolled in.

>>79567228
>Turned out it was Leap Year
You knew this, don't lie

>>79567415
Nah I was in a different state so there was a mix of time zones.

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Hey guys. I work as a Security and Loss Prevention Officer (SLPO "Slowpoke") for a cinema. I just wanted you all to know that we know what you're doing. Everything. We have infrared hidden cameras in every auditorium, mounted up above the screen with a full view of the audience. We see and record everything you do on our monitor banks. We know when you sneak in food. We know when you sneak in. We know when you jerk off. We know when you take creepshots or sniff the hair of the girl in front of you, you sick fuck. We know when you film camrips. We know when you vandalize seats. Trust me, we know. If you do something serious enough, or we recognize you as a repeat offender, or we just don't like the look of you, or we're just bored, or we need to make quota, we WILL confront you and remove you from the premises, or maybe even report you to law enforcement. You think you've gotten away with something? It's because we LET you get away with something, because we'd already made quota, or we didn't want to make a scene, or we had something more important to do. You only get to continue with your meaningless little lives because we allow it, and if you fuck with us enough, one day our mercy will run out. Think about the next time you go to the movies, chucklefuck.

>>79567646
Your're literally watching people watching movies

haha

>>79567646
Lol I get you fucks fired all the time.

>>79558157
No, but I once saw a black woman get Buffalo Wild Wings delivered straight to the side entrance of a theater. A single employee saw but he simply continued to go about sweeping up popcorn.

I always smuggle my own soup into the theatre, fuck buying overprice cinema soup.

>>79567646
Did you see me whip out my Willy and wank it during the "Sing!" Movie?

>>79558157

>sister and I take grandma to see Surfs Up because she likes penguins
>fills a large bag with food and drink
>cinema staff don't bother her over it because she's a little old lady
>the three of us have a feast while watching the movie

The moral of the story is that you should spend more time with your grandma.

No, here you can take your own food and drink as long as it isn't hot or alcoholic

>>79568948
But food and drinks are only good if they're hot and alcoholic.

>>79568659
>my Willy
I doubt they're equipped with UHD displays