OMG LIFE IS SO TERRIBLE AND HUMANITY IS OUT FOR THEMSELVES WITH

>>79420815
Sounds like Von Trier.

>>79420815
Did this film kill your family or something?

Sounds like Cormac McCarthy. I wonder if he can do Blood Meridian in a sparse budget.

This is misanthropic, not nihilistic.

If you're gonna shitpost, get your terms right, sweetie.

>LET ME DEMONSTRATE THIS BY HOLDING THE CAMERA ON THE DESOLATE BARREN WASTELAND AND THE PATHETIC MONGRELS WHO ARE THE CHARACTERS FOR MINUTES AND MINUTES AT A TIME AS THE AUDIENCE SHIFTS UNCOMFORTABLY UNDER THEIR GAZE! HA HA HA HA! I AM SUCH A GENIUS!

This is literally Kubrick.

Is Satantango the ultimate hipster flick?

>7.5 hours
>Black and white
>Obscure language
>Slow as fuck

The perfect formula for people who hate having fun.

>>79421143
Kubrick may have used some shots like that in Barry Lyndon but that film is nowhere near as long or boring as that 9 hour Hungarian piece of shit.

>>79420815
I bet your life is terrible if you have to open that notepad, copy the text, paste it here, attach the poster and fill out the captcha every single day for months now.

But you really made an effect on Tarr's carreer eh? lmao

>>79421348
I use the archive.

>>79421326
2001 was almost entirely composed of those shots

There was also gratuitous use of face-cam in Eyes Wide Shut which was a movie that really had no use for such shots. A lot of Nicole Kidman's scenes were really long and drawn out with that shit for no reason.

>>79420815

Post the other ones too. I know there was one for La Haine.

>>79421530
This, quite simply, fucking tears it. I want to like Michael Haneke. I think he's got an impressive eye for detail, he manages to get provocative performances from his actors, and even the premises of a lot of his films are interesting. I've watched the majority of his films, trying to understand exactly what makes him tick.

After finishing pic related, I've had enough of trying. I can't believe the audacity of this guy. His capitalist shaming "modern life is empty" bullshit has finally made my fucking skin crawl. Does he want us all to abandon our pursuits and go to places where "life really matters" and people die of the simplest curable diseases every day? Why doesn't the old coot do it himself? Nope, he would rather make his meandering heavy-handed movies designed make Westerners feel guilty and uncomfortable with their lifestyles. OMG, they have jobs?! They have possessions?! They have expendable income?! THEY ARE SO UNHAPPY! LOOK HOW UNHAPPY THEIR LIFESTYLE HAS MADE THEM! LOOK HOW EMPTY EVERYTHING THEY DO IS!

Fuck Michael Haneke. Keep on biting the hand that feeds you you old edgy sack of shit. Anyone who takes these "messages" to heart should be deported to North Korea with Haneke.

>>79421563
what movie is this?

>>79421771
The Seventh Continent

>>79421771
Cache, a pretty well executed movie with immense tension, great performances and static rich framing and compositon as always from Haneke.

Anyone who watches it for political reasons is a sub intelligent human being.

>>79421843
Cache is a trite little story that desperately wants its bougie festival audience to feel uncomfortable with their lives and their choices which are inevitably a microcosm of brown people who get fucked over by said choices on a daily basis, at least according to Haneke's finger-wagging race-baiting parables anti-western. Pretty much all of his movies are like this, at least the ones people give a shit about. Awkwardly framing a tepid thriller around the Algerian massacre was as bad as it sounds on paper.

>>79421891
oh I'm sorry, yes that one is the right pasta for Cache.

I still stand by my point though

>>79421927
There is nothing more to Haneke's movies than his politics. Praise the formalist composition and framing and static takes all you want. Hell, I even agree with you. But he didn't make this movie to show off his technical prowess, he made this movie to make a statement that he takes seriously. Haneke takes himself very seriously, so it stands to reason that he takes the messages of his movies seriously. We should do him the same courtesy.

>>79421959
Well then I don't agree with him and I will continue to enjoy his movies purely for it's aesthetics, the visual narrative and the execution, not for dumb political agendas

>>79422003
I'll do the same. Because despite how disgusting I think he is as a human being, his movies are still interesting. And I will keep railing against his worldview with my copypastas. Sorry.

>>79422047
Pastas lose value every time you post them my dude, your Satantago pasta is already practically meaningless.
Rather make actual posts if you want to affect someone's viewpoint.

Most people just scroll throug something like this trust me.

>>79422170
I don't care I still think it's funny.

Also I will say this about Haneke: at least he did the decent thing and showed up to accept his Oscar

>>79420815
I really enjoyed Satantango. It was comfy in a patrician way. Mesmerizing and exhilarating.
Also I enjoy OPs rant, it makes me feel superior and relaxed in a jovial way.

>>79421290
Yeah bro, FUCK HIPSTERS FAGGOTS!

lmao these people think they're better than I? Pffftt... I know fun like no one else.

AND THIS AIN'T IT.

Wanna hear my quote for press? "YAAAAAAAWWWWWWWNNNNNNNN"

Everyone knows people only pretend to enjoy foreign movies that aren't Asian! Fuckin' psueds!!

Where's the heroes journey formula? IS THE DIRECTOR "THIS" INCOMPETENT!?

Where's the final confliction between the hero and the villian!?

EXPPPPPLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOSSSSSSSIIIIIIOOOOOOONNNNNSSSS

>>79423423
>you will never be THIS butthurt

>>79420815
Now that's an ass I wouldn't mind fucking... if you know what I mean

>>79423423
Usually I'm the first to defend European film but this film is literally a 7 hour Hungarian film of peasants walking and dancing around a village.

>>79420815
So how would you portray the themes instead? Or are you just here to shitpost?

>>79423479
Good job reducing 7hours into half a sentence, you are just retarded even if I'm not taking into account the obvious post-communist cultural context you are missing.
I'm already regretting this post, it's /tv/ after all, enjoy your capetrash threads.

>>79423535
>obvious post-communist cultural context
I liked the movie, but not for meta story or context or any bullshit hermeneutics. The film is a great experience just by itself. If some pleb is too numb or has down syndrome, well fuck all plebs! No need to justify art. The ignorant shall watch their capeshit and be happy!

>>79420898
>tfw we will never get that Kirsten Dunst porn

>>79423436
yes, some day you probably will be, and it'll be here