Could Batman be real? Why not? What would happen if someone tried?

He would get shot because there's no such thing as flexible fabric that's also bulletproof

>>79327774
batman? no. but a punisher/red hood type vigilante could work. people take the law into their own hands all the time, it just happens in poor and remote parts of the world.

it would be too easy to find out who he is

They'd be shot dead within an hour. Turns out real life it isn't that easy to dodge machine guns and take down gangs just by kicking them.

>>79327774
He'd be labeled as racist, because the majority of his "villans" will be the poor black men.

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>group of bad guys robbing something, suddenly Batman outta nowhere
>bad guy shoots him in the chest/legs/guantlets
>sees the bullet ricochet off
>"AIM FOR HIS FACE"
Its always bothered me that the bad guys never, ever aimed for his face and mask where he was most vulnerable.

>>79327876
There's no saying he can't use guns to combat guns. Or maybe he wears a gas mask and utilizes gas in close quarters to knock out his gun toting enemies. Obviously, an irl batman would also require some top level intel gathering so you would know everything about the place your going into. Maybe multiple drones and hacked security feeds.

>>79327914
Honestly this. Not that I have a problem with black people, but with what he considers criminals and scum (people who do petty crimes on the street to feed themselves), how could he not be considered a racist. All he would do is create racial tensions, because beating up thugs doesn't solve complicated issues of economy, history, and society.

>>79327816

It wouldnt just be fabric, you would have some kind of gel interior that hardens on impact.

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>>79327774

>>79328016
yeah absolutely, i mean think of all the pseudointellectuals who attack batman, both in comics and in real life, for "beating up the mentally ill."

>>79327979
Am I looking at this wrong or is it a checkmate in two turns?

>>79328028
Is that guy in the red really two people under a big coat?

>>79327979
He doesn't usually stand out in the open and wait for people to shoot at him.

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>>79327774
>Could Batman be real?

Probably the dumbest thread I've seen here in awhile, and that's saying something. Kill yourself.

>>79328039
>pseudointellectuals

>>79328048
Yea, Batman dun goofed.

>>79328088
as you can see i'm stupid as a box of ass

>>79328048

It's called the fool's mate, it's the fastest possible checkmate

>>79327774
The vast majority of crime going on in big cities happens in black neighborhoods. If a rich white guy stepped in to reduce the crime rate, he'd be labeled a Nazi and the police would have to catch and kill him to keep everyone from freaking out.

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>>79327817
>mfw some lunatic becomes real life Azrael and starts slaughtering Muslims in Europe

>>79328136
That's why people hire black people to work for them so they look less racist. So just get a black side kicks.

>>79328118
>go to prison
>nigger wants to play chess with me
>ok, why not, i was pretty good back in the day
>get defeated by fools mate.
>say i want a rematch but never show myself at the table again

>>79328192
But wouldn't that be an effective way to reduce crime? Batman would probably reduce crime rate more by litterally opening job positions and schools in poor neighborhoods.

It would not work but I am surprised that no one actually tried to be a masked vigilante. There had to be some lunatic to try this

>>79328192
Blacks hate blacks if they try to stop crime. Just look at David Clarke.

>>79328048
brainlet here how is this checkmate?

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>>79328136
>Implying someone will see batman for long enough to realize what color he is.

>>79328243
There's ton of historic examples. all of them were mad.

>>79328241
In the comics he's always doing that, but it's never enough.

>>79328254
If you were black, where would you move your queen on the next turn?

>>79328275
>>>>>>>>>> In the comics it works

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>>79328254
On the Jokers move, he can just move his queen down to the right side, in the path of Batmans king.
Batman can't move any pieces to block her or take her.
Checkmate

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>>79327774
Ahem

>>79328275
>Implying someone will see batman for long enough to realize what color he is.
I thought we were talking about if batman were real. In which case someone would obviously get a video or picture of him at some point or a bystander would describe him.

>>79328285
>>79328313
I see now, thank you

>>79328160
just get the fuck out.

>>79327979
Chest is a larger area so the bullet is guaranteed to hit you if you aim for the chest.

>>79328388
Heil Hitler!

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>>79327914
I'd watch that

>>79328896
>hooded hero
Hero in the hood would've been better because of its double meaning

>>79328950
Raimi will steal that title for his next film

>>79329021
I'm fine with that. Spiderman's director's cut made me into the man I am today.

>>79327914
Kek this is the first thing I thought of. What the hell is wrong with this world.

Batmans biggest/best form of travel in the comics is his grappling hook

Grappling hooks don't exist in real life, otherwise we'd all be using them to scale buildings.

>>79327774
Crowds don't attack one by one taking turns so...

>>79327774
The basic premise of what Batman does wouldn't work. Batman refuses to kill criminals, he just interferes in their crimes and then leaves them for the police to arrest and prosecute.

But that's not how law enforcement works. The shit that Batman does would make most of the evidence against he criminals inadmissible in court, and the Gotham police department would face federal Justice Department investigation if it became evident that they were cooperating with a vigilante to violate the due process rights of suspects.

Now, if you had a similar billionaire with access to advanced technology who wanted to be more of a Punisher style vigilante, than it would probably work pretty well.

>>79327774
One human cant take on a gang of like 7 people, the mafia in Gotham would have already assasinated Wayne if this was real life.

>>79327914
No the niggers would be petty thieves and impulsive murderers, the real criminal masterminds would be white psychopaths because white men have the most competent criminals.

>>79327774
No. You basically need superpowers to be Batman. Hell, even The Dark Knight pointed this out, all the copycat Batmans get picked off and murdered in a matter of days.

>>79327774
No. Bat's arsenal would take billions of dollars to create. Some of that tech is impossible.

>>79327774
>billionaire uses his money to whoop the shit out of the underclass

In 2017 America they'd make him President for Life.

>>79328388
I'm a muslim, why does he need to get the fick out?

>>79330481
are you saying all black people are criminals? very racist

>>79330553
Of course not all criminals are black people.

Plenty of spics and slavs commit crimes, too.

well you would first need super ninja training, learn every martial art known to man. THEN get over every fear so you can traverse/swing the town's rooftops.

I would say no 100% because there's no one with that level of pure will. Sure vigilantes can work but not even close to Batman level.

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Would Punisher work? Just shoot criminals first, ask questions later?

>>79330781
But if you shoot them dead, what's the point of asking a corpse anything?

>>79327774
Batman isn't cool or interesting at all. They say he doesn't have superpowers, but he fucking does. He has super strength, super speed, super durability, super reflexes, super intelligence, I could go on and on. So, no, no mortal man could do all the things Batman does because of lazy writing calling him human. He should have at least come up with a super serum for himself somewhere along the years so all his prowess would make fucking sense.

>>79330781
Jesus, why the hell 80's comix have such a shitty drawings? This is literally looney tunes tier. It's like people couldn't draw proper images back then.

>>79330781
Quite frankly (eh? eh?) I'm surprised no one has done this.

It's not like gang members are hard to spot. See a bunch of niggers in red clothes for instance, they're probably Bloods.

>pull up
>fire a bunch of shots at them
>speed off

I'm surprised with as much as Americans love guns and vigilantes that this isn't a more common thing.

>>79328000
It'd still be a matter of time before he fucks up and gets shot

>>79327914
Whenever someone brings up this point I just picture Batman showing up during a really emotional scene in the Wire and just kicking everyone's ass.

>>79327774
> car no one can track back to its hideout
Do remember that when Batman was first published, the helicopter was just being invented.

>>79331002
>Shoot a bunch of gang bangers
>A camera across the street saw your car
>A witness saw your license plate
>Police show up to your house
>Get arrested
>Get thrown in prison while a chorus of baboons scream how your victims dindu nuffin and that they waz gud bois on their way to church

>>79328028
jesus fucking christ will beat your kid before i do it for you

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>>79328000
>There's no saying he can't use guns to combat guns.

so, just punisher then?

Nolan did it already.

He was batman for like two minutes, fought the joker one time, and by TDKR he goes to the doctor and his entire body is shot to shit from jumping off buildings all the time

I fucking hate what Nolan did to Batman

>>79329171
>Grappling hooks don't exist in real life
> the actual reason Alex Hirsch stopped production on Gravity Falls

>>79327774
he'll get shot in the face

>>79331181
pretty much this, no amount of money or push ups can help you regenerate joint cartiledge

>>79327774
He would look more like master chief, all armored up.

How would he know there's a crime in progress somewhere? Or would he just satisfy himself with visting local ghetto every other night?

>>79331191
What?

>>79331241
Listening to police chatter?

>>79331002
Not really worth going to jail for life just to stop some random niggers slinging dope

>>79327774
Question: does anyone remember the BTAS episode where batman learns how to kill someone with one touch? Isn't that a superpower

>>79331241
Batman has been known as a pseudo detective / intelligence guy for a long time.

>>79329200
They don't all attack at once either. Unless they don't give a shit about hitting eachother.

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>>79328028
Christ do I wanna be that rich and high

>>79331133
>Police show up to your house
Frank doesn't live at his house anymore.

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>>79327774
He is real and we voted for him.

>>79331300
That's just kung fu

>>79331241
i mean yeah, that's exactly what Batman did in year one.

>>79331133
anon, if you want to go full punisher you have to get off the grid, fake/no plates, safehouses using the money from the people you kill to buy stuff to kill more people and such.

>>79329815
>Now, if you had a similar billionaire with access to advanced technology who wanted to be more of a Punisher style vigilante, than it would probably work pretty well.
But a billionaire could just pay thugs to kill criminals. It'd be more effective to set up their own group of operators than to be Punisher.

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>>79327774

If a IRL billionaire has any connections to Government agencies that could get him prototype military weapons/vehicles and said billionaire is a professional fighter on almost every known fighting style then it's possible but there are too many Government agencies that would eventually found out who the Batman really is.

>>79331795
They would leave a trail that lead directly to you. Now, of course you could bribe your way out of the jail, but you eventually cross the road with someone more powerfull than you, and your money wouldn't help you.

>>79327979
The cowl is bulletproof actually, they'd have to aim for the mouth which is pretty fucking hard.

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>>79328323

>yfw he went to court to reveal his secret identity
>yfw nobody even cared

Irl batman or any hero would get their arses handed to them, I'd give them a month tops depending on the area.

>>79331888
That's why you don't hire them directly.

>>79327816
Dragons skin is pretty close.

>>79328243
Phoenix Jones.

>>79327774
I think kick-ass has the most realistic portrayal of what IRL batman would look like (until the moment he met hit-girl and daddy).

>>79327774
too much variance in rooftop height
too much traffic
most crime isn't organized

>>79332176
>no training
>no money
why?

>>79332131
dragons aren't real you tard

I think the last time someone looked semi-seriously at this, they found that a real Batman would only last about 3 years before probably suffering a debilitating injury.

>>79327774
He'd get shot and bleed out in an alleyway because in real life you can't just magically disappear and reappear all over the place and kung-fu every villain into the dirt.

>>79332213
Honestly, i don't think any amount training or money would make big difference in being vigilante superhero.

>>79332240
what about a real punisher?

I thought the best way to go about the whole thing would just be to have a group, like minded, go around killing drug dealers/manufacturers, taking their money and using it to fund their vigilante activities (and destroying drugs)

sort of like mackey's strike force from the shield

>>79332222
Digits.
Also your mom

>>79332279
he wore hockey pads and hit people with sticks
you don't need that much of an investment to go up from sticks to tasers but it's still an option when money's involved

>shoot him in the face

>>79327914
>>79328016
He would probably also target Organized Crime as well.

>>79327774
Techwise probably if you have the money.

However mentally and physicall no. No human can have a mastery of basically every language, every field of science, even with an IQ of 250 which no-one is gonna have, and then also be able to run indefinitely and be quick and agile while also less pressing 2500lbs and benching more than a tonne.

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>>79327774
HE does exist see

>>79332431
>However mentally and physicall no. No human can have a mastery of basically every language, every field of science, even with an IQ of 250 which no-one is gonna have, and then also be able to run indefinitely and be quick and agile while also less pressing 2500lbs and benching more than a tonne.
to be fair, irl no one's going to have a problem with bane, joker, poison ivy, mr freeze or the kind of organized crime where you'd need to know every language

with real life crime, real life batman doesn't need as many skills or abilities

The way I see it, it's not humanly possible to be on the same level as Comic-Book Batman or any other of his depictions in other mediums. Batman is basically Superhuman compared to Real-world Humans.

The Nolan Interpretation was indeed a lot more realistic but even then, taking on multiple opponents in a fight is a lot harder than how it looks in movies.

>>79332289
Sounds like Sicario

>>79332222
>what are komodo dragons?

>>79332508
Unless of course you get a real life Riddler, Anarchy, Deadshot, Black Mask, or some other non-super powered Batman villain.

>>79332508
Arguably real life Batman needs even more skills and ability because he doesn't have plot armor.

Also crime is international he'd at least need to be native-speaker fluent in many accents and dialects of English, Spanish, Russian, Mandarin, French, probably German and some Eastern European languages.

>>79332559
you wouldn't deal with real life riddlers or anarchys (the guy had an android suit) and you don't need any special abilities to deal with "man with gun" and "crime boss who wears a mask"

>>79328285
To my throne room because we wuz kangs n shiet

What would batman even do in modern times? bust up local drug rings? seems boring af

>>79332582
>Arguably real life Batman needs even more skills and ability because he doesn't have plot armor.
That doesn't make sense, his skills are his plot armor.
>Also crime is international he'd at least need to be native-speaker fluent in many accents and dialects of English, Spanish, Russian, Mandarin, French, probably German and some Eastern European languages.
Depends on the city but even then he could just translate things later. Even in the comics and cartoons he got other people to help out.

The Nolan Batman could, at a push, operate with extreme luck.

We've had Ninja vigilantes before, they all got arrested.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/vigilante-ninja-arrested-pennsylvania-article-1.1429621

http://geekologie.com/2008/08/two-vigilante-ninjas-from-new.php

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9742744/Is-it-a-bird-Is-it-a-plane-No-its-the-Newport-vigilante-ninja.html

>>79332635
Bust Podesta's pedophil's ring.

>>79332635
He could target and do reconnaissance work on Organized Crime, Human Trafficking, investigate missing person cases etc...

>>79327774
No superhero could exist in real life. All of them were created with the childish mindset where one really good guy can beat any evil.
You'd need an army of batmen to get anything done. Then again, at that point they'd just be cops in batsuits.

>>79332720
He'd have the hardest time with corruption, since people don't seem to care if their officials are rapist-murderers if they're in the same party.

>>79332674
>http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9742744/Is-it-a-bird-Is-it-a-plane-No-its-the-Newport-vigilante-ninja.html
to be fair I grabbed a wooden sword when I heard someone shouting for help in my neighborhood at 3 am
no idea why, there were plenty of better weapons laying around

>>79332555
KeK

>>79327774
Everyone would shoot on his chin. Dead.

>>79327774
Wearing an armored body suit like in that Pic would weigh you down way too much for you to be mobile enough. I can't see someone parkouring and being agile while carrying a shit ton of gadgets and armor pieces.

>>79327914
Batman doesn't target petty criminals you stupid nigger. He targets organized crime and leaders, which would be mostly white.

Shut the fuck up.

>>79331166
Rubber bullets exist.

Honestly anyone that really cares about that type of thing would just become a cop.

>>79332898
Hello Rocksteady! Fuck your for ruining Arkham Knight with your tank shit

>>79332834
Not everyone is a weak little bitch like you

>>79332928
Do you not understand how much wearing an armored body suit would heavily restrict you? Do you think it's possible to wear body armor and jump 6 feet in the air? If so, follow the instructions on pic related.

>>79332646
>That doesn't make sense
In real life bad guys aren't going to miss their shots because you're running really fast, villains aren't going to leave you clues on purpose, rooms full of thugs aren't going to come at you one on one in sequence instead of gunning you down from all directions because your accent was slightly wrong, the chemical compound you had in your Batbelt isn't going to be exactly the correct solution to dissolve the bomb about to blow up in time's Square, etc. In real life he'd have to be even more skilled and intelligent to deal with everything, inventing compact versions of things.

>his skills are his plot armor.
No the writer writing, "And then just before the thug swings his lead pipe into Batman's face Catwoman saves him!"

>but even then he could just translate things later
How exactly do you translate later the conversation in the human trafficking den you're sitting in?

Most of the shit he pulls off can't be done in real life, like get all sorts of damaging, paralysing or mind altering drugs pumped into him and he just keeps going from sheer will alone. Batman is not just a normal guy with ninja training and money.

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>>79327914
That's true for all of them.

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>>79332928
This pic.

>>79333030
>In real life bad guys aren't going to miss their shots because you're running really fast
Honestly they'd probably miss most shots in general

>>79333015
>>79333044
kys dyel

OP needs to READ Watchmen, ignore the stupid apaptation.

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Is ADX Florence real life Arkham?

It houses the closest thing to super-villains, like this guy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Konopka

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>>79333030
>rooms full of thugs aren't going to come at you one on one in sequence instead of gunning you down from all directions

I like to think that thugs in real life would actually be that incompetent.

>>79332222

not sure if trolling, but Dragon Skin is the brand name of an actual, real-life ballistic vest

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragon_Skin

>>79328388
go away and stay away Mohammed

>>79327774
It is possible with mone, technology and parkour

>>79331270
They have there own set of codes to refer to different types of crime and most crimes you hear about on a police radio already happened.

Batman Year One is pretty good with this. Basically he prowls around and drops in on crime bosses. He almost dies at least once. They only got super unrealistic with the bats hiding him (a la Batman Begins rescue scene) and his seemingly superhuman strength (when he kicked down a tree and later kicked down a giant support beam in a building).

Honestly the reason why Batman wouldn't work in real life is he NEEDS a billion dollars, 100% loyalty from friends/family, an inside man in the police department (or someone who can wield the police force), top tier fighting skills, nearly inhuman endurance/stamina, and incompetent media outlets.

>>79331270

>listen to police radio
>alert: crime in progress
>away, to the anoncave! prep the anonmobile! 150cc of rolling justice!
>zip across town at the speed of a speeding man
>oh no, it appears that the cops are already here, how can I dispense justice when justice has already been dispensed, fucking pigs

>>79334234
>incompetent media outlets

Atleast that one's already covered.

If he wasn't shot right away or arrested, he would slip and fall off the corner of a slippery roof.

>>79327816
>He would get shot because there's no such thing as flexible fabric that's also bulletproof

Why would he be wearing only fabric and not some kind of body armor?

>>79327979
someone tried to shoot his mouth in batman odyssey, there's retractable bullet-proof glass in the cowl.