I got a plan to totally rekt this paranormie ghost the characters

Don't forget you can fuck some sluts while you're there to delay it getting back to you even more.

Oh wait... you're a fucking virgin faggoy who can't get pussy, and misses the points of movies. Get over yourself cunt.

>>79257859
>turns out the ghost learns by imitation
>gets inside a plane, getting there 3 months and a half early
>gg

>>79257931

HOT HEAD

plane tickets are expensive

not to mention renting two apartments and staying employed while you trapeze from NYC and Sydney every four motnhs

File: download (1).jpg (4KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 225x225px

>>79257950
well fuck

File: maxresd234234efault.jpg (35KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 1280x720px

>>79257950
that's cheating you can't do that.

File: 1415784154768.gif (772KB, 250x200px) Image search: [Google]

772KB, 250x200px

>>79257859
I'd just call the winchesters. That curse would be rekt in about 20 minutes..

>be virgin
>monster kills all of the normies who have sex
>get to live in a wizard utopia once they're all gone

File: boner2.jpg (29KB, 320x283px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 320x283px

> cum onto a bunch of maggots
> maggots become flies
> flies do their fly thing and fuck off and reproduce
> ghost is trapped forever trying to kill billions of flies that it will never be able to catch

File: zombie.jpg (79KB, 960x471px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 960x471px

OKAY NEW PLAN since autist allies have turned against me

>be me
>have sex with chick (dont ask, just assume)
>get it follows std
>surround house with treadmills

YOUR FUCKING MOVE PARANORMIE

>>79258765
assuming you have the money for all of that, the time it takes you to set all that up would be enough for it to get to you, remember it doesnt rest while you do

Entire concept gets ruined once it becomes an invisible physical being. You throw a blanket over it so people believe you, then you lock it in a jail cell.

>>79258149
Why not? It can open doors, speak etc

>>79258802
>order treadmills off amazon
>same day drone delivery bitch
>go for a ride as far as possible
>turn back when I get the delivered text
>quickly install (i have at least a few hours)
>gg fucker

Fucking prozzies would work best, or someone high profile so it makes the news when they die so you know it's after you again

>>79257859
Isn't it a homage to Carpenter?

File: 225bf3890bde96ee5fd18faad2cce05b.jpg (50KB, 500x573px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 500x573px

>>79258663

>>79258850
>ghost is outside
>officer knocks on your door
>'sir open up!'
>'sir if you dont open up we have to forcefully come in!'
>cops make way for entrance
>kicks your door
>arrests your ass
>youre stuck in a jail room with no where to go

Why do people act like the monster behaves completely rationally and linear like a loading bar on a computer?

For all we know at a set time it "spawns" 150 feet away from the target and then begins slowly ambling toward them

Like how Jason Vorhees can teleport whenever he's not being directly observed

double doored safe

walk through one end, ghost follows
lock door
walk out of safe
lock door
ghost is trapped in safe

>>79258684
>Not binding the spirit to your will using your new found wizard powers

Pleb.

>>79257859
You can't beat it. It can travel as fast as it needs to. Death is inevitable, that's the whole point of the movie.

>not fucking the ghost itself

File: 1475262652719.jpg (12KB, 258x245px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 258x245px

>he follows you into the plane with you
>you are now stuck on a plane it for the next 20 hours

GG

>>79258845
It can't open locked doors. checkmate.

>>79258898
How is it going to get me if I'm in a jail cell?

>>79258684
In this scenario I am positive most people would actually begin experimenting with animals.

>>79258923
Is it a metaphor for AIDS?

>>79259007
You dont get it mate, its patient, its inevitable, in a few hours or days, a cop will open that cell and takeout/put in another prisoner, the ghost is constantly waiting for that moment

File: CHILL PARTY IDEA(LLA).webm (3MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1920x1080px

>>79258765
>be thief
>jackass lines up 30+ treadmills outside his house
>stake the place out
>find out jackass locked himself in his room for some fucking reason
>call my homies to jack 30 grand worth of treadmill

>>79257981
>NYC
>If America, this person is posting on a weekday at 9 AM. NYC is too expensive to be a neet. I'd bet midwest.

>>79259036
>first day of jail punch cop
>get beaten and thrown into solitary confinement
>weeks later
>"have you learned your lesson anon?"
>"fuck you pig"
>"oh? lets see how you feel in another few weeks."
>repeat

checkmate

>>79257859
Fuck your stupid plan. I had a plan to kill the witch in Blair Witch Project. I would steal Murphy's Robocop armor, don it, then lay on the leaves in the forest pretending to be a tree trunk. When she comes to harass me, I'll stand up real quick and gab her in the hooha, I'm suited in fucking power metal armor, let's see her stupid witchery put my teeth in a drawstring bag. Just for kicks I might ignite a ton of thermite on her witch shack and watch her abstract face as all her corners melt. This goes for all dumb supernatural schlock, nothing beats the stomping power of industry. Fuck you

>>79259105
>punch cop

its already got you at that point mate

Haven't seen the movie. What does it do when it catches you?

>>79259143
fucks you to death srs

one guy had the host transform into his mom and when it got to him the ghost (as his mom) was riding his dick

>>79259143
kiss and hug you, the fuck you think it does anon?

>>79259143
fucc

What does the monster even do?

>>79259199

death by snoo snoo, see here >>79259168

>>79259199
It follows

>>79259210
wrong answer

i don't even remember how this movie ended, they eletrocuted the aids and then there's an epilogic, ambiguous shot of it following the mc per formula amirite? totally guessing from induction here

>>79257859
What if you fuck a girl twice, do you get "it" back?

File: imgres.jpg (4KB, 160x160px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 160x160px

>>79259229

>>79259096
>no one has ever posted on 4chan from work
>I don't understand why the board we're on right now is blue

File: john-goodman-cloverfield.jpg (158KB, 1115x534px) Image search: [Google]

158KB, 1115x534px

OKAY OKAY NEW PLAN

>be john goodman's character in 10 cloverfield lane
>find out it follows you
>drive home
>run into prebuilt bunker
>lock door
>supplies for years
>electricity, water, cable set to autopay
>shitpost on /tv/ telling them I've won
>gg

your move

>>79259483
>run out of supplies eventually
>it's right the fuck outside your door

>>79259515
>have small vent to drop supplies in
>call friends and get them to buy me food
>send money on paypal
>eternally btfo

You're all dump shits

>find huge bunker with enough room to run around and one exit only
>open door
>go to opposite end of the door
>wait for IT to come to you
>run to the door once it gets near
>shut the door
>fuck as many bitches you can

GG movie

>>79259105
>in your best case scenario
>spend rest of life in a cell afraid of an invisible thing that will kill you the instant you leave

Wow, checkmate ghost.

>>79259515
Dont' forget, you can get the people who slept with you, that are "next" on the list, to send you money. If you still alive, "it" only follows you. Everyone else is safe and can live their lives normally. If YOU die, it follows them. Use this as blackmail. Get thousands of dollars and supplies for free.

CHECK FUCKING MATE

implying it is not supernatural being resistant to all shenanigans people in here come to mind

than you could just take bazooka and blow the fucker up... or call the cops, or history channel to make reportage on it

>>79259575
this desu, why has no one actually thought of trapping it instead of trapping yourself?

>>79257859
Planes don't work dumbass, it can turn up anywhere

>>79257859
They made it clear that the ghost thing doesnnt like water and can't swim so going to another continent should stop it dead on its tracks.

>>79259953
but it swam in the movie and fucked their shit up?

>>79259035
>>79259953

So it's an STD, will eventually kill you, and stuck to one continent while other people ignored the problem and didn't believe it was real.

HOW IT IS NOT LIKE AIDS?

>>79258830
>Get it to follow me
>go to disney world
>be in the middle of the crowd
>it catches up to me
>it picks me up by my hair like that girl in the movie and begins tearing me to shreds
>people are witnessing me up floating in the air being torn apart
>thousands of witnesses
>thousands of video recordings
>scientists and authorities baffled, now investigating
>through detective work and research they eventually discover the truth
>sacrifice myself for mankind

>>79259199
>>79259229
>>79259398
hello one person

File: 1485086837505.jpg (53KB, 490x604px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 490x604px

OKAY OKAY OKAY IVE GOT IT THIS TIME

>make friends with elon musk
>keep evading paranormie for years while you work on relationship
>become best friends
>one day on your bday, elon says "hey anon would you like to visit space?"
>"s-sure elon."
>week before, dlure paranormie somewhere far away to make sure it wont reach the launch on time
>hurry back
>get on
>ride elon's rockets to outer space
>whip out pistol and force pilots to dock with ISS
>ive got the only gun
>take over
>send everyone home
>gg

Find a flaw with this theory.

>>79261581
If you actually shoot the gun you could wind up spacing yourself

It's literally a metaphor for death and how you can't outrun it.

Yet all you nerds are constantly trying to sound smart by saying how you would outrun it. You're missing the point of the movie. You nerds always care about the details.

>>79261581
Wouldn't it be better to trap the monster on the space station instead of yourself?

File: Pepe_rare.png (128KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [Google]

128KB, 1000x1000px

>>79261796
No. What if it jumps off the space station after I leave? It could fall back down to Earth and back to square 1.

Me being IN the space station means it could never get to me. Pretty sure it can't jump that high or pilot a shuttle.

File: 20120813-vaudeville.png (42KB, 301x296px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 301x296px

>>79258663
> "Okay anon, we'll need to draw this thing to us and we need also need to see it."
> "So we'll both have to fuck you. We'll take turns."
> tfw

>>79258751
Genius.

>>79257859
>Capture ghost in elaborate cage
>Fuck ghost in through the cage bars
>Ghost implodes

>>79261640
Youmustbefunatparties.jpg

Just become a truck driver. Then you're always on the move

File: 1454611599090.jpg (67KB, 860x608px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 860x608px

>>79258751
fucking genius

>>79258751
would do with mosquitoes since I hate them

>>79262024
I'm trying to see the downside.

>>79260584
>not fucking a whore and bring her in Disney
cost some money but meh, you're alive

>>79258981
>quickly rape stewardess
>she now sees the ghost
>explain situation quickly
>she forces herself on the next best guy
>continue like this
>the next 20 hours are a constant fucking orgy of people full of fear

>>79258751
Imagin that ghost just going on and swating flies everywhere

>>79263002
>quickly ra-
>tackled by air marshall before anon can even slide it in
>handcuffed to seat
>raped by ghost

Fuck whores
Whores fuck Johns
Rinse and repeat

EZ MODE

>>79259088
whats this

You guys are all fucking retarded.

>buy a zepelin
>live there for the rest of your life, only occasionally stopping at some random village to buy foods

>>79262363
I support this

File: hehe.jpg (73KB, 519x533px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 519x533px

>>79263433
not bad

>>79262363
i just hope it will take a good shape

>>79258765
The ghost would just break the treadmill. Its not retarded

>>79259088
>be jackass
>rape thief
>???
>profit

>>79257859
>have bareback sex with bisexual degenerate
>checkmate ghost

>>79257859
I guess you also plan on never having sex with anyone for the rest of your life. Never getting married or else it would kill your wife. Etc.

>>79258845
It never speaks in the movie.

>>79263979
Does having never seen your mother's uterus mean she has no uterus? fuck off

>>79264013
You've never seen a tea cup floating around Saturn.

It never speaks in the movie.

File: where.jpg (221KB, 700x525px) Image search: [Google]

221KB, 700x525px

>>79263942
>I guess you also plan on never having sex with anyone for the rest of your life.
Where do you think you are?

I'd like to remind you all that it could teleport

They drove all night and by noon next day it was at the beachhouse smashing through the door.

Racking up a bulk of sex partners doesnt work either. After you're cursed it goes after you or your next partner, and his or her next partner.

You could however bang someone every time it comes after you.

>>79257859
just buy a ticket to vegas and fuck as many hookers as you can senpai

just don't have sex lmao

>>79259538
it'll turn into a midget and climb down the vent

>>79264238
How about when she was in the hospital? It had like 4 days of walking from the beach to the hospital then another 3 days of walking to try to reach Chad. Why didn't it use it's teleport ability then? Must have been out of mana.

>>79264351
Take a hooker with you, just to be safe.

>fuck her once
>it comes in
>Gtfo while hooker gets rekt

Find someone you hate, knock them out and proceed to rape, then take off and let nature take its course

Get a hula hoop filled with salt. Your move gonorrhea ghost!

>>79259035

True story. Hung out with the director and he told me it's a metaphor for puberty.

>pass it on to a child
>ghost rape child to death
>report him to Chris Hansen and the ghost spends the rest of eternity in pedophile jail

>Be poor as fuck people in Detroit.
>Get passport
>somehow buy plane ticket to the other side of the planet
>Manage to live there for half a year somehow

Not

>Record proof of supernatural entity stalking you.
>Become rich and famous.
>Let scientists protect you as they study the monster.

>>79264432

>now you're a prime murder suspect

In theory, the monster has a "to kill" List, right?

After he kills the last one, you're next

>>79264170
It's hinted that it can speak, otherwise it wouldn't be allowed to go where it goes

File: IMG_0308.jpg (33KB, 333x475px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 333x475px

What happens when the thing has killed everyone who fucked each other?

>>79264932
He does a 360 and walks away

>>79264913
It's never hinted that it can speak. It's invisible to everyone else that's not in the chain of killings.

File: 1419282478984.jpg (17KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 225x225px

>>79264351
it can't, it's clearly shown in the movie that it can't even get past an interior home door

>>79265033
didn't it climb through a dog door at one point? the people dumping food in the vent can't see it, it can just climb in when they open it to put stuff inside

>>79265000
(((invisible)))

File: 1425876958208.png (12KB, 530x492px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 530x492px

>>79265074
So? You can see it, have a viewport and an ejector system in your food-drop, if it's in the drop, chuck the fuck

>>79257859
ur so smart!

>>79265222
along with all your food?

File: 1428258438213.jpg (8KB, 180x180px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 180x180px

>>79265281
which can be replaced

>>79265373
what if it disguises itself as a delicious whole smoked hog so you open the door and it jumps out and f*ucks you

>>79265222
what if he take the look of the guy who bring you food ?

>>79265939
the guy never enters the house

>>79265222
The monster isn't stupid, after your first shenanigans it will find a way around it, guaranteed

So the only way to kill the ghost is to have anal sex right? Its only logical since it spreads via vaginal sex

>dump bucket of paint on it
>it's visible everywhere it goes and causes havoc
>national guard is called in

File: rob schneider.jpg (88KB, 960x540px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 960x540px

>buy sex doll
>fuck the shit out of it
>break it up into 100 pieces and throw each piece into a different part of the ocean
>monster spends the rest of its life trying to find and smash every piece of the sex doll
>by the time its finished humanity has either gone extinct or traveled to the stars

Best way is still to prove it's existence and let scientifics take care of you since they will lose it if you die

>>79266084
But anon, that's literally Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children tier

>>79266097
>rob schneider
this gave me an idea

>fuck pizzagate elite member
>watch them waste their elite resources trying to stay safe from the monster

>>79257859
but it teleports. It didn't walk on top of that house. It teleports all over the place like jason voorhees

>>79266097
>schwingline

Never noticed that before

>>79266494
Hahahahaha did you just say Jason teleports??????

Have you never seen a Friday the 13th film before? He walks everywhere in his post resurrection form, and ran in his human form.

Why didn't Jason teleport from the bottom of Crystal Lake in Part 6? Why didn't he teleport to the shore in Part 8? Because he doesn't teleport.

>>79266611
>Why didn't Jason teleport from the bottom of Crystal Lake in Part 6? Why didn't he teleport to the shore in Part 8? Because he doesn't teleport.

>horror movies
>bound to logic
pick one

>>79266611
The guy is inconsistent as fuck, but he definitely teleports from time to time.

>>79266708
You posted nothing toward the claim he teleports. There is no evidence he teleports.

>>79266802
No he doesn't. How is Jason inconsistent? Post evidence that he's ever teleported. I'm pretty sure you haven't seen any of the movies in the past decade. And don't try lying.

>>79266611
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6v7_t3Bw0U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsVcE-Jd1NU

File: 1419282133772.gif (859KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

859KB, 200x200px

>>79266008
>it will find a way around an elaborate security system
>couldn't find a way around a teenage girls flimsy unlocked door

>>79266880
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TylYQbcb-ro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdi923NG-HE

File: 1469565047869.gif (384KB, 600x453px) Image search: [Google]

384KB, 600x453px

>>79266994
NAYSAYERS BTFO
now give me those delegates

>>79264516
>ghost kills him because he doesn't know wtf is going on
>ghost comes after you again
>you are also wanted for murder gg

>>79266956
I think that is the only time he's ever "teleported" in the film's history. She was high on coke btw. Next time don't post a video game to try and further a point. MKX is amazing though.

>>79266994
>>79266956
No no no, guys, guys, he just runs really really fast, okay?

>>79257859
There's a video I watched on how to defeat it or escape the plan was his first idea but he had a more surefire ways. All you need is a bottle of spray paint and tools to trap the beast because there's really no indication that it isn't a physical being since it's been incapacitated and its smart enough to avoid traps so you'll have to lure it. Go to the local police precinct. Holler lead the cops outside (hopefully) spray the monster revealing its location the cops will shoot it. Incapaciting it for a little bit. Use your tools to trap the monster. Hopefully the cops will help you making sure it doesn't get up. Dig a deep ass hole. Call a construction crew and hurry that fucker deep underground. Or call the government They'll know what too do with it.

File: 2899938817.gif (2MB, 225x255px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 225x255px

>>79267179

>>79266008
Are yall serious? He couldn't get through a locked bedroom door until a normie unlocked it. Bunker is 100% safe. You just need to worry about food.

>have two doors in bunker
>have food placed by both doors
>check security cam
>ghost is by one door
>run over to other door
>open door
>pull food in
>lock door while monster is walking over to that exit
>gg

find a flaw in this i dare you

File: 1439636780153.png (519KB, 873x593px) Image search: [Google]

519KB, 873x593px

>>79267116
>he teleported but he didn't teleport!
As expected. Stay BTFO.

>>79267179
Part 8 is the ONLY one he's ever teleported in. That is a fact.

>>79267251
I'm sure this is the high light of your day. Lol, fucking loser, holy shit.

File: images (25).jpg (9KB, 160x150px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 160x150px

>>79267271
So you're admitting it teleports?

>>79266494
How do YOU get on top of YOUR roof? Bring a ladder and climb it. Some houses have an attic exit. Better yet, what if he just climbs from the second story?

The ghost is slow but that doesn't mean its arms are paralyzed, wtf.

File: Gabe_profile_picture.jpg (11KB, 258x387px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 258x387px

>>79267271
You are fucking embarrassing.

>>79267306
Yeah, in one movie. Inconsistent film making, but you wouldn't know about that you disgusting furry. Teehehehehe, you won one!

File: stay+mad.png (81KB, 252x211px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 252x211px

>>79267300
>damage control
>deflecting
found the butthurt unteleportable jason fangirl rotflmao
stay btfo

File: 1473276685469.jpg (46KB, 536x536px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 536x536px

>>79267351
>damage control
As expected
stay mad

File: )when-someone-think-they-have-an-argument-but-its-not-2777133.png (54KB, 500x534px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 500x534px

>>79267351
let me guess, you drive a GM product

>>79267349
You have a fucking of Gabe saved on your computer. You're a fucking embarrassment LOL.

Part 8 next to Jason X, and Jason Goes to Hell is widely regarded as the worst in the series.

Isn't is weird he's never teleported before? >>79267352
XD I know yet all the evidence is from Part 8 only.

>>79267179
Again, the ghost doesn't run or teleport. It walks. Those are the rules. The first person who was being followed even mentioned it.

>but what about the scene where they drove all night and the next morning he was right there

Drove where all night? Maybe they pulled over during the night. Maybe they drove to one place and as the ghost was walking towards them, they backtracked to that get lakehouse. All the locations in the movie aren't in a straight line. Maybe the ghost just took a fucking bus. Again, it's slow and not that powerful but it's not retarded.

File: Be+well.png (31KB, 169x200px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 169x200px

>>79267431
>i-it isn't canon guys
rotflmao

>>79267466
It technically isn't according to the director ahahahaha.

>alphonse now shitposts on /tv/ too
end my life

>>79267466
Part 2-7 doesn't teleport. Jason Goes to Hell, Jason X, Freddy vs Jason, and the 2009 remake, no teleport.

Yeah. I'd say it's non-canon.

File: cyberbully.jpg (103KB, 1200x887px) Image search: [Google]

103KB, 1200x887px

>>79267431
you ignored my teleportation evidence that wasn't the coked out eva scene >>79266994

You realize you are talking to multiple people who all think you are being a retard? It's fun to laugh at you, but you realize that this is an anonymous imageboard where the reputation you garner doesn't follow you to other threads or even other posts.

File: 1482886609010.png (1MB, 1000x657px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1000x657px

>>79267505
>directors retconning bullshit
that's JK rowling tier
>>79267535
spotted the butthurt gm fangirl, stay btfo

>>79267573
fuck you cancerous furrynigger

>>79257950
how is the ghost even going to get on a plane buy a fucking airplane ticket and just walk through customs?

>>79258920
memes aside, this seems like the best solution
they tried and failed to kill it, so they should just trap it

>>79267553
There are a million ambiguous scenes where a person sees Jason behind them, goes running off at a full clip and suddenly runs straight into Jason in front of them

It's like the series tradition along with "guy gets drooled on and looks up" in the Alien movies

>>79267568
Original teleport poster here. I said he teleported after the video was posted. I can't stop the shitposts that come after. I do ask for any more evidence other than from Part 8 though :)

File: lithpths.jpg (33KB, 500x364px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 500x364px

>this thread

File: 77 - FKaF2RD.png (40KB, 825x635px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 825x635px

>>79267678

>>79267678
I'm redownloading Jason X right now because I remember for sure a "what the fuck he teleported" moment there

In the opening sequence he throws a guy through a door and then immediately appears in the hallway on the other side of the door without ever actually stepping through the doorway he just opened.

>>79258845
>enemies can open doors

>>79258923
>>79259892
>>79259953
>>79266494
>>79266494
This is bullshit. It's never suggested.

It Follows is a terrible movie and the director is incredibly lazy. These matters should've been addressed, the director didn't elevate the movie to a higher level, develop the movie intellectually, work out scenario's, create tensions or errors in their plan-making - anything. Instead, he did nothing. He chose dumb fucking teenagers who do not think, it's nothing more than run-wait-It, run-wait-It, run-wait-It, and fucking sleep all the time. You can defend this by arguing that these are dumb teenagers, but that is completely unambitious and unacceptable considering the wonderful notion of It. Many sequences and decisions in the movie are so fucking bad it hurts.
>wait for It to kill it with a gun
>sitting relaxed on the beach til It grabs her FUCKING hair instead of killing her ass
>she frees herself
>gun is FUCKING locked in a box in a shed
>act fucking dumb and bad scenes follow
>outrun It, then all of a sudden panic so bad she leaves her friends and drives the car away
>cliché car comes
>"crash" against a mailbox which lands on the hood and corn hits the hood
>KO without bumping her head
>everyone knows It is real but they all decide to sleep in the hospital
>dumb bitch wakes up and stares through the open door without screaming SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR

Movie is filled with this shit and ends with having an extremely dumb and unimaginative confrontation scene. The director couldn't handle the notion of It at all. The sense of paranoia isn't worked out and when It seems to act differently (standing on the roof) it's first and foremost ridiculous, and these scenes don't do anything interesting or profound. Competently made doesn't mean it's good. It's a fucking horrible movie.

>>79260018
The director said it wasn't, but that's a stupid fucking thing to say, fucking dumbass.

>>79268393
>wakes up in hospital
>"maam you've just been in an accident"
>starts screaming "SHUT THE DOOR"
>"maam are you ok?"
>starts pushing staff away
>get IV of haldol
>"idk why i'm even tripping"
>monster appears
>"you ain't real"
>dies

>>79268513
Doesn't dispel my argument about the movie in general at all. And in the hospital she was surrounded by her friends, who all saw that It was real, but they all decide to fucking sleep. The sole thing of It grabbing her hair is already unforgivable.

Let them buy a plain ticket to another country, set a tracking device on him, see how he crosses the ocean immediately when he's near the water, or make them calculate how long it will take before It gets there, make a calculation error. The last thing is cheap, but it's at least something. The director did nothing.

>>79268393
I agree, the movie is fucking trash. I only watched it because I'm into neo 80s stuff but I pretty much hated it. Also "le it's atemporal and dreamy because there are both old things and new things", I absolutely despised that bullshit. When I see a conflation of old stuff and new stuff I assume it's set in the modern times and characters just happen to own old stuff. Should have made up some kind of alternate timeline technology if he wanted it to be atemporal. Absolute trash.

File: Chris Christie There It Is.png (453KB, 737x515px) Image search: [Google]

453KB, 737x515px

>>79268660
>dispel

File: two-lane-blacktop-warren-oates-gto1.jpg (64KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 640x480px

>>79268734
>being this mad at a movie

>>79257859
>have sex with an astronaut before he/she leaves for space
>profit

>>79268823
Because it's real fucking trash and it's being praised endlessly, saying it's in the same league with the best or classic horror movies. It wouldn't be such a problem if the movie wasn't praised so much, it's so undeserved. That and the movie itself is infuriating, horrorfyingly bad.

>>79268927
I was samefagging :^)

>>79268734
>>79268823
all me

>>79268956
INTERESTING

>>79267657
Why couldn't it? You can't see it unless it's following you or has in the past

>>79267657
it's invisible to everyone but its victims, it would just walk through customs and everything unnoticed.

File: X.webm (3MB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1280x720px

>Jason can't telep-

>>79269011
>>79269021
Because it's way too fucking slow. It standing on the roof means nothing. Even the irregularity, which should be essential, isn't developed.

File: 1486204395066.jpg (21KB, 474x429px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 474x429px

>>79267678
>Original teleport poster here

>>79269088
checked

File: boat.webm (3MB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1280x720px

>>79269088

>>79269320
https://youtu.be/6eSuneWVvWM

Literally takes this dude 6 seconds to climb from bottom to top WHILE moving the ladder. I think Jason could pull it off in 3.

File: 1481505769793.jpg (52KB, 617x464px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 617x464px

the hair pulling scene, and the final scene (its general goofiness aside) are ultimately the most detrimental to the entity and the fear it creates in the audience.

the ambiguity of the entity, what it is, how it behaves, how it kills, is the source of its terror (as it is in all quality scary stuff).

the intro scene in It Follows is perfect, we have little to no information about what shes running from, then the quick shot of the girl glancing to the treeline- she obviously sees something- but theres so much movement, the rustling of the trees, the poor lighting- does the audience see something? that combined with the brutish, yet slightly ordered manner of her death- it was grisly, not a clean or merciful death, yet it wasn't senselessly violent, our subconscious picks up on the vague sexual connotations of her death pose, as well as her appearance (the skimpy clothes, the red heels) but its not overt. just enough to be extremely unsettling, and create an excellent scene. i only wish they had kept these themes going- or rather, avoided deconstructing the fear by overconstructing the entity.

still a solid neo-horror film, 7-8/10. have seen/reccomended it several times

What if you have sex with the ghost?

>>79268853
genius

>>79258751
What happens if the flies just die normally? That buys you a week maybe?
Fuck a tortoise or something.
>Lives in the ocean
>Lifespan exceeds that of a human's
gg ez

File: smugplop.png (26KB, 396x400px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 396x400px

>Wait till it finds you and is about to kill you
>quickly jerk off and jizz all over it
>Stuck in an endless loop of killing itself

>>79271152
>ghost takes the form of a whale
>eats slow ass turtle in seconds
u btfo

>>79271284
but anon, turtles aren't slow
those are the tortoises

>>79263149
kekerino

>>79263002
sounds like good material for a porn spinoff

Try and find a problem with this theory
>Get job at giant cruiseship, constantly moving around the world
>Go to a whorehouse every time you dock and fuck prostitutes
>Whores will keep fucking people and spreading the STD ghost
>Customers will keep spreading the STD ghost
>If by some chance they manage to die and give it back to you, you're at the other side of the world already fucking whores
>By the time it gets to that part of the world, you are yet again on the other side of the world fucking whores.
>Die of natural causes before it ever gets you.

>>79273209
You've never been on a cruiseship have you?

>get job at cruiseship
>gotta clock in at 6am
>docking doesnt start until 9am
>ship doesn't leave dock until afternoon
>gg

If by some remote chance the ghost doesn't make it onboard, you realize it's gonna be waiting for you when it returns back to dock to drop the passengers off right?

And it doesn't matter if you fuck a bunch of chicks. Once you fuck someone, they are followed. You can fuck 50 people and think "oh I'm safe." That chick finally gets killed, you still the next one on the list. While you are asleep that ghost tracks you down and is standing over you. GG. Also you have HIV.

>>79257859
>go to straya
>fuck girl
>keep her near you
>build desert fortress
>turn it into a sweet crib
>have girl fuck guy
>have that guy fuck a new girl
>do this up to 50 times
>fort is now manned with guards who can see it coming
>keep a few normie virgins around so they can say, "hey I don't see what you're talking about' to verify it is it when it shows up
>gun it down
>easily trap it with this force
>contain it
>?
>profit

>>79273433
Alright how about this

>Save some money
>Hire a fuckton of gay dudes
>Host orgie
>Fuck one guy
>Everyone else fucks
>When everyone is done fucking you explain the situation
>They laugh at you
>Turn 360 degrees and walk away
>Travel to other side of the world
>Live on an Island
>Ghost has no way of getting to you
>Meanwhile it has to get through 50 faggots who are aware of it's existence and are trying to defend itself from it
>Even if it does end killing all of them it has to walk across the world, under water to get to you

Surely this would give you enough time to die by age

File: it-follows-pic-5.jpg (22KB, 620x350px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 620x350px

>hey guy's what's up

File: icame.png (1MB, 1915x800px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1915x800px

>>79274156
nothing, just tanning, u?

What if you build a big wall to keep the ghost out

>>79273806
>Surely this would give you enough time to die by AIDS

>>79257859
The director said in an interview that "It" could board a plane if it had to. It's said in the film that it's not stupid just slow.

File: 1410830136068s.jpg (8KB, 217x250px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 217x250px

>climb up volcano
>set up rickety wooden bridge over volcano opening
>walk to middle of bridge
>when ghost appears, run to other side
>destroy bridge while ghost is still on it

>>79274156
that chick was so fucking disgusting
goddamn mudbloods give me the chills

File: image.jpg (21KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 480x360px

>>79274983

>>79274983
ghost would probably destroy the bridge with you on it

>>79275427
S A V A G E

>>79274156
only moderately scary part of the whole film

What if there are actually multiple ghosts?

>>79268393
>sitting relaxed on the beach til It grabs her FUCKING hair instead of killing her ass
>she frees herself

Nah. Her friend hit the ghost with a chair and it worked. Ghost turned attention to the friend and pushed him off. She ran away.

So you can interact with it.

Im watching the movie again. This fucker can change appearances at will. First he was the girl, the tall guy broke the door, then small kid jumped in, then turned back to the girl again.

Shit. What if the ghost wanted to turn into Usian Bolt? FUCKED

>>79269845
Very little in horror remains scary when you see it and understand how it works. The Thing is the best at it because it could be fucking anyone.

>>79269320
What was his gameplan once he made it to the top?

>>79257859
>be me
>monster starts following me
>get in the car
>floor it
>cut my penis off and toss it out the window on the highway
Checkmate spooky!