>make tiny pebble a horcrux >throw it down the Mariana

Because its a children's book written by a lonely women who cared more about characters than logic.

Because it emanated from one of the dullest minds in the history of movie franchises.

>>79184586

It's explained in the story. JK is a fucking hack though. I can understand the powerful magical artifacts but a fucking snake? If he was going to put part of his soul in a living thing why not the Basilisk?

fuck why not do it twice?!

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Why are you even trying to find logic in of one the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>79184689
That would have been hard, the basilisk is a big guy

>>79184586
maybe he wanted to check on them regularly, it makes sense if you are paranoid

>>79184689
If Basilisk venom can destroy horcruxes, how would that work?

>>79184586

>horcrux

what? can you explain this. i stopped reading HP after puberty

>make tiny electron a horcrux
>throw it down the mariana trench

What a piece of shit franchise.

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if u r so smart why u not write the series instead?

>>79184586

>Create Horcrux
>Launch it out into space

>>79184759

...Why wasn't the Horcrux in Harry destroyed when he was bitten by the Basilisk?

>>79184818
S-stop ruining the canon anon

>>79184818
wasn't the horcrux in harrys "soul" not his body

>accio horcrux

>>79184586
it has to be an object of personal significance

>>79184721
i've never read this and never will

>>79184586
because there is always the chance that you'll get tired of immortality and want to off yourself. that is the double edged sword of being a Lich: you don't want people to find your philactory, but you also don't want it to be completely irretrievable in case you want it yourself.

>its this lazy mobile redditor thread again
BRING
BUTTERLY
TO
/tv/

>>79184586
It's because he is a narcissist. He couldn't handle to thought of attaching a piece of his soul to anything that didn't display some form of grandeur.

>>79184586
Too vain.

>>79184866

But Avada Kedavra kills the body not the soul so Voldemort couldn't have destroyed it either. JK is a complete fucking hack

>>79184818
>>79184858
Been answered in an FAQ before.

>>79184984

>This plothole has been patched over after the fact

She's a hack

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>>79184586
>have XXVIII LEGIONES ROMANI
>throw XVII, XVIII, and XIX back to the western side of the Rhine in 7AD

WHY WAS THIS SO DIFFICULT

>>79184906
Dull comment to be honest

>>79184893

Yes, and also it requires an extremely lengthy and precise dark ritual with tons of concentration and specific spells to create a horcrux. Except when it happens by literal accident in the heat of the moment of a break-in and attempted murder.

So much of that horcrux shit was just forced in with contradictory retcons. It's such a fucking mess. You can even see how Rowling patches things in backward.

>Harry uses the basilisk tooth to kill Tom Riddle's diary just because it happens to be the nearest sharp object
>BASILISK VENOM DESTROYS HORCRUXES NOW BECAUSE IT HAS TO OR ELSE THAT SCENE WON'T MAKE SENSE ANY MORE

>Harry is scarred from his encounter with Voldemort and has a mysterious connection to him
>PLOT TWIST: HARRY IS A HORCRUX BECAUSE I COULDN'T THINK OF ANY BETTER PAYOFF FOR THAT STUFF

>>79184586
Voldecunt was a low tier street magician

Prove me wrong.

>>79184787
that's dumb, space is destructive af

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>>79184689
fracture your soul in an attempt to achieve immortality, putting a part of your soul in a mortal creature.

Pride

>>79184785
I always love these. They're always so masterfully done, half bait, half genuine.

>>79184906
>he doesn't read it every time

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>documented and observable proof exists of human beings having souls
>Harry literally visits some form of afterlife briefly
>everybody still lives completely secular lives

>>79184721
has anyone compiled all of these in a single pic?

>>79184586
>take boat to pacific ocean
>accio horcrux

Its magic, stupid.

>>79184869
Specifically tried in the book and explained not to work.

>>79185566
Dumbledore says it's all in his head.

But yeah the souls thing definitely.

Any myrtle

>>79185675
>>accio horcrux
you can't do that. they tried it with the locket that Regulus hid in his parents' house and it didn't work.

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>mfw he made a snake, a living thing that can be easily killed, a horcrux

>>79184689
>>79185380
these entire posts

you could somewhat defy logic by saying "hurbis yada yada" but there's literally no way to defend this, especially when the snake isn't anything special or from a specific lineage and all that.

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>>79184586

>>79185993
yeah, she should've made it like Nagini took care of him when he fled to Algeria after baby Harry Porter rekt him.

>>79186046

There's no way those tweets are real

>>79186062

Isn't that what happened? I'm sure he was feeding off her milk

>>79186046
So that's why it's hufflePUFF.

>>79185879
because it wasn't there anymore

>>79184586
Wtf I hate voldy now

>>79184721
Best meme 2017

>>79186046
How does group masturbation even work?
Do you get turned on by watching some dude jack it while watched my yu? Or do they all have their own porno mag?
Wouldn't it be really awkward when someone comes? Unless you are really far away surely it would get on somebody or go in their hair.

>>79184721
Fuck Gatsby but otherwise good list

ok this might be a dumb question because I remember fuck all from the books but what if Voldemort wanted to be able to die at some point? and he didn't want to have to wait potentially millions of years or spend an absurd amount of time trying to find that one pebble he threw into a river?

>>79184925
>It's because he is a narcissist. He couldn't handle to thought of attaching a piece of his soul to anything that didn't display some form of grandeur.
That was part of it.

Another was:
>Acio pebble
Well that was easy.

>>79186498
>If I use this polymorph its not gay bro

>>79184906
>he never read the ""No!"" part
missing out desu

>>79186046
>tfw you will never have a group masturbation session with a bunch of hippie wizards
I bet hufflepuff secretly has all the most powerful wizards, they just don't give a shit

>>79186498
No gay shit. You put on a porno and everyone sits around jerking it. As long as you aren't making eye contact it's not weird. Great bonding experience.

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wouldn't horcruxes need to be access in order to perform revival, resurrection, and healing rituals?

>filename: mommy
>video is of fake tits

...

>>79184586
because the pressure would likely crack the rock "destroying" it?
because how easy is it to just find a way over the trench, and throw something directly into it?
because its not in england?
no one nose why

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>>79184586
>>79184622
>>79184681
>>79184689
>>79184710
>>79184721
>>79184726
>>79184754
>>79184759
>>79184765
>>79184773
>>79184785
>>79184787
>>79184818
>>79184858
>>79184866
>>79184869
>>79184893
>>79184906
>>79184914
>>79184923
>>79184925
>>79184934
>>79184939
>>79184984
>>79185013
>>79185116
>>79185167
>>79185180
>>79185238
>>79185365
>>79185380
>>79187438
>>79187618
>>79187679
>>79187405
>>79187336
>>79187054
>>79186734
then the death eaters couldn't retrieve the horcrux to revive voldamort idiot

what if he WANTED to die someday?

>>79187438
perfect tits

>>79186689
How many fucking pebbles would they have to sift through?

>>79188765
This, a horcrux does not make you indestructible only a way to bring you back if you do die. which explains why he wants the unbeatable wand so he doesn't have to go through that shit again.

>>79188765

But Voldemort didn't use a horcrux to revive himself you spastic cunt

>>79189050

He wanted an unbeatable wand because every time he went after Harry crazy shit kept happening. He had no idea Harry was a Horcrux

>>79184586
>shit yourself wherever you stand
>"removus me poopus"

>>79189155
nu uh

>>79185566
>documented and observable proof exists of animals being sentient
>snakes have their own understandable language
>animorphed rat can talk to other rats
>everybody still eats meat
wizards are all sociopaths

>>79189202

>Dumbledore is one of the greatest and benevolent wizards
>Has a slave race working in the castle

These "people" deserve death

>>79188765
maybe im getting baited but why the fuck do people do this.

>>79184689
I would have put it in a Phoenix since it's impossible for it to stay dead.

>>79189333
(you) redistribution

>>79189313
>Dumbledore is one of the greatest and benevolent wizards
>sodomizes men in their arsehole
>wizards prior to the 19th century would just shit on the street and SHITTUS VANISHUS

>>79184721
based mondie

Grindelwald > Voldermort

>Dumbledorf fucks Tom Riddle in the ass
>Tom Riddle gets WIZARD AIDS
>this turns him insane
>he becomes voldemort
deepest lore

>Live in a world of LITERAL FUCKING MAGIC
>HAHAHA FUCK THAT CRACKPOT MINGE GOBBLER TRELAWNEY PFFFT DIVINATION WHAT A LOAD A BOLLOCKS
What did Hermione mean by this?

>>79189501

She was mad as fuck that she wasn't good at something. She was ever more mad that it was something she couldn't study to be better at. So like a complete cunt she dismissed it as bollocks

>>79189501
>find out you're a wizard and can do magic at the age of 11
>spend all your free time at your magic wizarding school complaining about homework and lying around
>not spending all the time you can learning new spells
what did harry, and all the muggleborns, mean by this

>>79189526

FUCKING THIS!

There's no way I would care about some gay shit like "The house cup" or Quidditch. I'd be in the library every day trying to learn everything I could

>>79189538
>If magic really existed everybody would be Voldemort

>>79184586
It's not explicitly stated, but a very common theory is that Horcruxes have to be an object you're already attached to, sentimentally.

Everything that WAS a horcrux was something Voldemort either cared about, or influenced his life in some way.

>>79189556

>Wanting to learn spells makes you Voldemort

I wouldn't want to kill all the Jews or anything. I'd just want to do all the cool shit he and Dumbledore did in their duel

>>79184586
Pebble is destoryed\broken down by the depths of the dark ocean
Youre move, voldetard

>>79189588
That's what they all say.

But then you learn how to get a little richer, maybe. Or a little more powerful. And then you keep going and going. Maybe you want to cheat death, and you start working toward that.

The endgame is being a sage or a supervillain and I can't imagine grey area.

>>79189373
trickle down (you)s

>>79189588
>I wouldn't want to kill all the Jews or anything
Are you retarded? Wizards ARE the jews.

>muh mudbloods (like Obama and other half-jews)
>muh MUGGLES
>control the world secretly
Wizards are literally kikes.

>>79188818
Yeah if you like silicone.

>>79184586
They don't explicitly say that horcruxes can't be rubbish objects like a pebble, but it goes against Voldemort's character to make a horcrux like that.
He was obsessed with collecting rare magical items that would have the privilege of housing a fragment of his soul.

His pride was his weakness.

>>79189588
>I wouldn't want to kill all the Jews or anything.
>>>/r/eddit

>>79189557
Well that explains why harry became one.

>>79189333
It is about supply and demand

These people, when give so many (you)s affect the market making every (you) less valuable. It could be for various reasons. One of the most common is when (you)s have so much value that no one can afford giving it to anyone, so if a lot of people receive a (you), they will be more encouraged to give them and thus reactivate the market

What if he wanted to die? being unable to take your own life can easily turn your existance into hell.

>>79188818
Are you a closet homo? thats the worst titjob I've seen in my life

>>79189538
No you wouldnt, you would eventually get used to it and find it mundane.

>>79189588
>I wouldn't want to kill all the Jews
You're right, you're not Voldemort.

You're WORSE.

>>79189961
then he could just go destroy all his horcruxes and then kill himself

>>79184586
>WHY WAS THIS SO DIFFICULT
Because Voldemort was legitimately insane.
>>79184689
>If he was going to put part of his soul in a living thing why not the Basilisk?
it was dead.

>>79190210
>it was dead.
anon... he made the horcruxes long before the events of the chamber of secrets

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>>79188765
>point wand at mariana trench
>ACIO HORCRUX
wow so hard

Why didn't they just shoot him with a gun?

>>79190267
When he made Nagini a horcrux it was dead I mean, so asking why not the basilisk instead made no sense because it was dead.

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Is this canon?

>>79184586
But then Harry and Dumbledore couldn't find them

>>79184923
What's butterfly, is it a new bot?

>>79184818
Cause he was healed by fawkes before he died?

>>79185879
Yeah. When Harry learns the spell in Goblet of Fire it clearly states that he had to concentrate on the object he wanted and where it was

>>79185954
.... but what if he wanted to make a horcrux for his snake too? Then she lives forever with him?

>>79190302
they try to accio horcruxes in the books and it doesn't work

>>79190332
oh you're smarter than me

>>79186146
No. He didn't have a physical body until Wormtail returned to him the summer between year 3 and 4.

In year 1 he needed to drink unicorn blood because possesing things eventually killed them and Quirrell was dying

>>79185585
Shouldn't be hard, the archives exist after all

>>79189538
Because some of it is hard and most kids are lazy.

>>79184689
>If he was going to put part of his soul in a living thing why not the Basilisk?
He made Nagini after leaving Hogwarts. He didn't have access to the Basilisk to make it a horcrux. Besides, horcruxes are supposed to be concealed. Sticking it in a big monster that goes around killing mudbloods is just asking to have it destroyed.

>be wizard
>spend whole life shitposting on /tv/
>occasionally googling new spells for shit like acquiring more food or making wizard hallucinogens

Why not live?

why didnt they just shoot him

>>79190714
>shoot him
>with a gun
>in britain
They can't even buy a teaspoon set without a police cavity search and you expect them to get hold of a gun?

Pros of being a wizard:
- you can make stuff fly
- no need for keys
- you can make chairs and shit

Cons of being a wizard:
- no internet
- no video games
- can't use brainwashing mind control powers to fuck with the normies, cause the coppers will suck your soul out

Meh. How's the magical erotica situation anyway?

>>79190784
Well, love potions exist and are legally sold to even children with nothing but a "now don't abuse this" honor system warning.

>>79184586
Why not a single grain of sand?

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>>79184586
DESIGNATED SHITTING SPELLS

>>79190808
>>79184586
Why not OPs dick?

>>79190808
Because it's gets destoryed when a little stream of water washes over it. How retarded are you?

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>>79190847
except it fucking doesn't because horcruxes can only be destroyed by lethal things that almost any magic can't cure or prevent

>>79184586
Do you really expect a tiny object like that to be able to contain a soul?

>>79190857
Pretty sure water destroys witches and magic according to secondary sources.

>>79188765
>weebshitter being retarded
surfuckingprise

1) The intense pressure of the Marianas trench would destroy it

2) There may be occasions where you need to have access to it. If its at the bottom of the ocean you would be fucked trying to get it, which leads to...

3) What if the world is a ruined burning wasteland after the muggle wizard wars which results in the humans nuking the planet. You are the only person left alive and after 1000 years just want to end your life but now have no viable means of killing yourself

>>79184721
>Huck Finn
>shit tier

that's just trolling.

>>79188818
Spoken like a true 14 year old

>>79184586
because a really powerful wizard would be able to find it fuckstain. "accio"

>go to beach
>pick up handful of sand
>turn each grain into a horcrux
>throw it into the ocean
i win

>>79191606
>dumbledore has to go on an adventure to find one
Wow, I guess he was shit tier all along then.

>>79191633
you would have to kill seven people first

>>79191645
Voldemort didn't think anyone knew about the Horcruxes. So he didn't try too hard to hide them.

>>79190308
Because it takes place in England.

>>79189538
spoken like a fucking nerd

>these references to HPMOR
I see you bitch

Just because the fanfiction is better than the original, and has dank moments, doesn't mean the author isn't retarded.

>>79185365
This. Space is awful. Also, in lore Voldemort has an incredibly broken mind so the idea is his hubris won't let his soul be some inanimate worthless object thats hidden in the ocean somewhere.

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Just shut the fuck up and buy my shit, you fucking retard.

>>79191712
Context?

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>>79191677
Top kek

>>79191712
>that basic bitch profile picture with 10 filters and her hand over her face to look 25 when she's pushing 90

cant make this shit up

Because Voldemort is evil, not a smart.

He's actually full of pride and vanity, he want each and every horcrux to mean something, he want people to read in the evil history books that his horcruxes were a huge ass anaconda, historical artifacts, etc. he want it to look 'epic'

hes literally a fucking edgelord

>>79190451
you have to know where shit is for it work, right? he tells his favourite henchman where it is and they get it for him

>>79190807
also you can turn into other people for some good fun

>>79191712
kek that's actually a pretty good comeback.

>>79191862
I feel like a very powerful wizard would be able to detect a horcux at the sea level. not saying it would be easy, but we know already that wizards don't struggle to find ways to breath under water, plus I'm sure there is some charm powerful enough to withstand the pressure from being that deep at sea.

Also it wouldn't be difficult to illuminate seabed if it was to fall that deep.

> have a school where small children are taught mystical powers capable of killing people as easily as if you were to hand them a gun.
> kids repeatedly turn bad and kill dozens if not hundreds if not thousands or even tens of thousands of people.
> continue teaching kids anyway.

???

>>79190451
the books aren't cannon

>>>79191908
because its a book?

>>79191906
> have a school where small children are taught about history and terrible things that people have done in the past
> kids repeatedly turn bad and kill dozens if not hundreds if not thousands or even tens of thousands of people.
> continue teaching kids anyway.

>>79191906
>teaching children prevents them from doing terrible things as adults

lol cute

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>>79186689
>Acio pebble

seems like a stupid way to die

>>79191967
m8 they literally give these kids the magical equivalent of glock 17s.

>>79192002
Have more children died in American schools or Hogwarts?

>>79186046
So I'm supposed to imagine the girls of hufflepuff having a masturbation orgy? bit weird for the earlier book/movie but I guess.

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>>79191886
>turn into your mum so you can wear her cute outfits
>Dad comes home

>>79192002
Casting murder spells is really hard, dawg
>b-but they can use cutting spells and shit
Yeah, and a kid can steal a knife from the kitchen or bludgeon someones head in with a rock. I'd be more concerned with how easy it is to cast rape spells.

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>>79191939
>born as wizard, but magic isn't thought anymore because it's too dangerous
>go on the internet to learn the acio spell
>"acio nuclear bomb"

I always wondered why the fuck a single wizard didn't just Imperio the shit out of all the muggles and become King of Earth. I mean they have the power to become gods and they sit in castles masturbating each other.

>>79189155
Because his soul wasn't destroyed. He just needed a new body.

>>79192113
Why would the wizard care? He already has everything he wants provided by magic. Why spend all the effort committing spellcrimes when you can just sit around all day with your bros having your elves give you magic handies?

>>79184586
Retrievus Mariannatrenchus

>>79188765
Make this kind of spam a bannable offense please mods. You fucking autist don't link to every goddamn comment. Spastic piece of shit.

Let me tell you all the TRUTH about wizards. The WIZARDS keep muggles alive for one reason and one reason only. The truth is that wizards use muggles as sex slaves, there is a huge business of buying and selling muggles. You know how millions of children go missing every year? Yeah, that's the fucking WIZARDS, scooping up more muggles for their sex rings. Gas the wizards.

>>79184586
Now here's the black pill

>Have Magic spell for washing dishes
>Can't create spell to kill Voldemort

>>79184785
FUCK YOU. I mean 99% of the list is legit but that one thing that I like being there is completely unacceptable.

In all seriousness though

>>79185435

lol

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>>79184785
>The God Delusion

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If the wands drew their power from the magic substance within them, why not make a significantly larger assault wand and fill it up with more magic substance
Why not stuff half a unicorn in there and proceed to Avada Kedavra people with indirect fire?

>>79192304
Assault Wands were banned in the UK, nobody NEEDS an assault wand.

>>79186046
Is this for fucking real

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yo yo
here I be
on da streets
heading for hogwarts
nine three quarter walls
comming for dat mcgonagall
straight up gilf pussy
train witch hussy
she sellin frogs
nigga bought them all
no we can't say voldemort
i'm back for my year one y'all
cos i didn't make dem O.W.L
dat faggot dumbledore

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>>79192322
But imagine the possibilities
>with the Elder Wand Voldemord will finally be ab-
>STAND THE FUCK BACK I GOT THIS

>>79184586
The person required some kind of significant connection to the item itself to make it a horcrux.

Or some plot friendly reason like that.

>>79192361
American Wizards have 6 foot long Assault Staves, it's protected by the Constitution of the North American Wizard Federation. They were busy fighting moon wizards during the timeline of the books.

>>79192375
You could bond with the pebble

And then throw it in the trench

>>79191633
>>79191633
> You die
> Your followers receive a message
> "Go try this complex ritual on every grain of sand down at that beach."

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>>79191653
>Omg voldermort murdered 7 people how horrifying
>Meanwhile my father racked up a kill count of about 25ish in Vietnam

Killing 7 people ain't shit. I could do that with my AR right now.

Harry Popper doesn't make any sense. The socio-economic repercussions of magic would be immense. We would never have needed to invent technology and shit if we could just be ruled by the magic people who can create free food with magic and shit.

Would've been more realistic if everything was 14th century technology and wizards ruled the world.

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ITT: Grown adults getting salty about a successful children's book series that they wish they wrote

>>79192603
>7
On a bad day maybe.

>>79191886
Models and actresses would sell their hair for poly juice, they would make a fortune

>>79192361
cringe

>>79186552
>>79191567
I've noticed a lot of these newfaggy comments in these threads lately. Where are you lads from?

>>79184785
I wonder how jaded and sad of a person one must be not to be able to enjoy genre fiction anymore.

>>79192214
It's like porn threads on /b/ where some shut-in autist painstakingly replies to every single nude with a rating and a comment. Like anyone gives a shit.

>>79189202
Well they still have slavery with the little house elves who aren't allowed to wear clothes. And I think there was some weird Jew hate stuff going on with the goblins or something, I don't remember.

>>79184721

wow, that's one of the best written comments I have read on this site.
Yet I disagree about cause and effect. Even if Harry potter is setting kids up for shitty literature, it at least makes reading an option for them.
I have a few friends who never acquired the habit of reading books, and at 20+ years old feel like they cannot start.
HP is shit, sure, but it isn't it better than not reading at all?

>>79189538
I would want to find magic spells so I can go into the muggle world and be a rich cunt without working. Basically any shit where I can live in the muggle world and make life as fun and easy as possible.

>gringotts bank, safest place in entire world
>security is duped by a stolen wand, disguise potion and shaky acting by three teenagers

>>79192603
He murdered way more than that but only made seven horcruxes. Good on your old man though, vietnam fucking shits.

>>79193531
>Where are you lads from?
reddit

triggered polcuck?

>>79189556
Pretty much. I'd kill anyone who ever wronged me or did something bad to me and make it look like an accident.

>>79193734
>I'd kill anyone who ever wronged me or did something bad to me and make it look like an accident.
No you wouldn't. Because you can easily do that right fucking now and you haven't so.

>>79193692
Granted there is no way they could have seen the invisibility cloak coming

>>79193691
>steal a lock of rons hair
>anally violate prime emma watson

so how did voldemort manage to die in the first place?

>>79193803
Dumbledore gave Tom Riddle HIV.

>>79186046
PLEASE PLEASE WILL SOMEBODY REMEMBER ME? I MADE HARRY POTTER HEH, PLEASE LOOK!!

>>79193778
>learn extremely difficult potion
>get rare ingredients including Ron's hair
>convince Emma Watson you are him long enough to get anal

OR

>rape Emma Watson
>cast extremely simple memory charm that is used all the fucking time in the series and even practiced on muggles like it's a sport

The only reason why people Harry Potter is that everyone wants to feel special and also being a wizard sounds like an incredibly easy life. The book is immersive in terms of setting and being a wizard in the Harry Potter universe is honestly fun. I mean, you can just use magic to do anything so it's obviously fun and an escape from the mundanity of life.

The stories themselves are shit and the characters are one dimensional.

>>79186498
>>79187405
>he didn't have gay experiences as a teen

>>79193745
I'd get caught though. If I wouldn't get caught I would do it. Magic seems like a pretty easy way to do it without getting caught. You could just slip into muggle society and live normal and have people fall down the stairs or step in front of a car. I can't really do that at the moment can I?

>>79193875
>be wizard
>go into the town for a rump on the hump
>see a cute girl walking down the street
>hmmm
>grab her and throw her in a dark alley
>get a good fuck
>FORGETTUS FUCKUS
>ahhhh truly muggles have their uses!

WHY DIDNT DEATH EATERS USE AVADA KEDAVRA EVERYTIME ON THEIR ENEMIES IF IT WAS A ONE HIT KILL DAMMIT

Was nagini the snake harry let out of the zoo in the first book?

>>79193929
You know what else kills people in one hit?

bullets

>>79193939
woah

How can you make one anyway if macroscopic objects don't really exist and are merely labels referring to groupings of subatomic particles?

>>79184586
>Mariana Trench

Wizards don't seem to know shit outside their own little Wizard world.

Id imagine most don't know basic geography.

>>79184586
This was adressed at length in the books
The answer is because voldemort was batshit crazy and he wanted his horcruxes to have more grandeur

>>79193995
Because in Rowling Universe objects are just amalgamations of thoughts. There are no laws of physics, everything is just a massive consensual hallucination.

>>79186046
PINEAPPLE PINEAPPLE FUCKING PINEAPPLE

>>79188765
I've always wondered, is it like an addon that lets you insta mark all previous posts, or are some people really that autistic and, well, sad that they unironically click on every single reply?

>>79193668
"No!"

>>79194049
You realize that the cunnposter isn't even a bot and that he actually takes the time to post each and every thread right?
>you underestimate my autism.jpg

>>79184726
For you

>>79186498
You're just masturbating with your bros, it's not gay, if anything it's probably more straight than masturbating alone; at least this way you're all assured to be wanking to straight porn, and not your usual cocktail of traps, anal vore and chinese incest comics.

>>79193901
Well you could before Mr. killjoy bleeding heart "muh muggles" Dumbledore ruined all the fun for everyone. Not so strange that the Death Eaters were a thing.

>>79194170
Faggots really do ruin everything. Dumbledore was the Obama of their world.

>>79194084
Come on man, the cunny poster is clearly a bot.

That being said, I do believe I've heard that the creator is autistic enough to enter each and every thread his bot has made.

>>79193901
>flick your wand and make your wife fall down the stairs
>cops show up to investigate
>you've got a motive
>she obviously got pushed somehow
>they lock you up

That or the aurors would get you. Your pussy-ass bitch wouldn't get away with anything, magic or no magic.

>find a magic indestructible diamond
>turn into your horcrux
>throw it into the Marianas Trench
>hire some overpowered fantastic beasts from the deep sea to protect it

Congrats! Now you're invincible.

>gather group of muggles in secret
>prove to them that magic is real
>tell them how wizards be keeping them down
>give them suitable magic devices, potions, and mechanisms along with smuggled weapons I brought from Russia by broomstick
>get them to overthrow the government
>didn't use dark arts so aurors can't fuck with me
>slowly use my new regime to create more cells all over the world and topple the rest of the governments
>finally unveil to the public that wizards be keeping them down
>silence the wizards with threats and use mock trials and smoke and mirrors to execute billions of muggles claiming they be the wizards that been keeping everyone down
>become Wizard King of Earth and institute a eugenics program to breed out all muggles

Would've been pure kino

>turn the Sun into a horcrux
>turn Earth into a horcrux

WHY DIDN'T TOM RIDDLE JUST TURN ONE OF DUMBLEDORE'S BUTTPLUGS INTO A HORCRUX?

Dumbledore would have never let anyone find his buttplugs, the perfect way to hide!

>>79194292
Except you are still susceptible to sleeping gas or, say, flash grenade. Than you can be tied up, have your arms and legs chopped off and be eternally used as my personal fuckdoll.

>>79184785
>The Gunslinger
>Pleb
Wew
Also the rest of the shit is rightfully placed. But Stephen King actually has some pretty decent literature, Not the best. But it still doesn't belong on pleb.

>>79194326
How many masturbation scenes would there be in your flick? Asking for a friend of course...

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>>79191677

>>79193955
False. You can survive a gunshot

>>79189624
>I can't imagine grey area
Unspeakables from the Department of Mysteries.
They probably see much of shit every day while working there.

>>79194449
It would be pure kino, deep kino. There would be group masturbation sessions where all of the boy wizards are watching the girl wizards having a group masturbation session and masturbating to it. But unknown to the boys the girls are masturbating to the boys masturbating to them.

If Snape was so good at doing magic without speaking why the fuck was he babbling in the first movie?
Also, makes no sense every wizard just ignores this and continues to do magic by yelling at each other.

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>>79191531
>He thinks there is no rocks at the bottom of the Mariana trench.

>>79194567
What about consensual child rape?

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>>79184586
>Expecting an intelligent plan from a race of people who shit their own pants

REMOVUS ME POOPUS

>>79193929
It's really hard to be so hatefully angry all the time, like once or twice but then you've blown your load and need to take a nap.

>>79194753
King Wizard of Earth would have a harem of 12 year old muggles. The kinotography would be very tasteful, very legal but right on the edge, right on the edge.

>>79193929
Costs too much mana.

Why doesn't butterfly from /lit/ come save /tv/ from reddit potter drones?

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WHY DO YOU FUCKING SHITSTAINED MILLENNIALS KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS TRASH SERIES

>>79194951
shut your whore mouth harry potter is pure magikino

>>79186046
seriously what the fuck is wrong with her

>>79184586
>>79184622
Lots of stuff in HP makes no sense. Like the whole chamber of secrets backstory.

>Gryffindor: "I'll build the walls"
>Hufflepuff: "I'll build the classrooms"
>Ravenclaw: "I'll build the towers"
>Slytherin: "I'll build the 12 year old girls' bathrooms!"

>stop watching/obsessing over a children's franchise

WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT

>>79196908
>Slytherin: "I'll build the 12 year old girls' bathrooms!"
makes perfect sense to me

>>79192214
yeah there should be a limit to how many people you can reply to in a single post, say 5

>>79188765
Post more Asukas.

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Why are wizards so shit at warfare? Why go around spamming avada kadebra when you can just cast a bunch of fiendfyres and be done with it.

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>>79196908
>>79197076

Girls bathroom you say...

>>79197368
Because fiendfyre isn't a strong as the Killing curse. Fiendfyre can be defended agaisnt but killing curse can't be. Modern military tech blows shitty hp magic out of the water anyway.

>>79197368
They could cast fiendfyres and bombarda maximas and all kinds of destructive ass spells all over the fucking place and no one would be the wiser. Shit the americans probably have nuclear spells for all we know.

I got 3 hours and all the HP films on blu ray
Which ones do i watch tv (Note 3 is best and i've seen 7.1 about 3 times)

>>79197756
Kill yourself instead

>>79184721
>>a-at least the books were good though
>"No!"
always gets me

>>79197368
>humans: make guns that shoot a thousand bullets a minute
>wizards: one "bullet" as quick as you can say avada kedavra after another

Given how terrible and rushed the movies were, why is HP discussed on /tv/ and not on /lit/? Not saying the books are good.

>>79197751
That is completely wrong. The books heavily implied that Avada Kadevra was the strongest spell in wizardry. Fiendfyre wasn't outlawed but AK was.

>>79197935
>cast avada kedavra
>kill one person

>cast fiendfyre
>potentially kill dozens/hundreds

The killing curse's only advantage is that it can't be blocked, and it's the cleanest way to dispose of someone, but it's by no means the most effective way of waging magical warfare.

>>79198034
You can block fiendfyre.

>>79198379
Tell that to fucking Crabbe dude lmao

>>79192656
Wizards don't rule because they are blown the fuck out by guns, but within their own insulated society magic has replaced most technology.

>>79198439
He was a fucking idiot and a noob.

Why didn't he just make an abstract concept a horcrux

>>79187405
>it's not weird
keep telling yourself that

>>79189538
Same reason NEETs exist

These harry potter bait threads actually make me want to rewatch it

>>79184906

It's the dullest pasta in history.

>>79190492
But he admitted he had been living in the same simbiotic way on Nagari as he was attached to queral or what ever his name is from the first book. And he was fed by Nagari. Also he had a baby form at the beginning of book 4 so I'm not sure you know what you're talking about

>>79189501
She was right though. Trelawney had the gift of prophecy but her teachings were useless.

>>79186498

You seriously don't find the idea of you and your bros using a spell to grow your cocks to horse-like proportions and huddle together masturbating while staring at each other hot?

Wu-wu-why didnt he make the president the horcrux??? Why didnt he make a dust mite horcrux???? Why didnt he find the most endangered animal on earth and make it horxrux,???? Why didnt the eagles fly him to mt doom and then he could make a horcrux of the one ring???? Why didnt he just take a dump and horcrux it before flushing huh??? why didnt he do thaaaaat

>>79199134
Why didn't he make a horcrux a horcrux?

>>79199134
it gotta have deep personal meaning to him or something

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>>79186046

>>79192002
SHALL
NOT
BE
INFRINGED

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>>79199194
>His shits don't have a deep personal meaning to him.

>>79194468
contrary to what happens in movies and film, getting shot is pretty survivable depending on where

>>79197856
humans sure are good at killing each other

Why didn't Dumbledore use the time travel thingy to reverse the curse he had?

>>79199671
Because time travel works such that you can't use it to do anything that you haven't already going to have done.

Why didn't he put the horcrux in Area 51?

>>79199715
ohhh gotcha

>>79184622
and that's why HP will never have 10% of tolkiens legacy

>>79196908
where the fuck did you find this "backstory" of founders building a specific part?

>>79199715
Except in the official fanfiction where you can prevent people from dying and change the timeline.

>>79184586
he should have turned the voyager probe into a horcrux

>>79184586
because this time, it really was autism

>>79184721
So much bull shit

One thing to note that's Wizad bashing of technology saying muh magic can do it all
>hurr durr car hurr durr television
but on the other hand they adopted all sort of modern invention, mostly from the 19 and early 20 century like phone, train, elevators etc
what a bunch of bullcrap
once again proving J.K incompetent at world building

>>79189155
didn't he try to revive himself in the second movie with the book somehow?

>>79189714
>>79189557
my horcrux is op's anal virginity. have at it plebs

>>79184586
Pride and probably some sense of honour.

>>79194951
Unless you are under 21 or over 37 you are a millennial

>>79184785
>Catcher in the Rye
>Pleb

Fuck off. /lit/ isn't as stupidly contrarian as this godawful board.

>>79193875

yeah guys, this is what's important when you're a wizard
how about helping the world ey? nah, just anal rape, thats fine

I enjoyed this shit when I was a kid and even now could watch the movies and enjoy the comfy nostalgia, but let's face it the whole lot of it was the very worst badly written fantasy garbage and had no right to make the money it did.

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>>79186046
fucking kek

>throw tiny pebble into sea
>gets eroded within a few years
>horcrux gets destroyed

>>79184721
i don't get the "no!" part why is it in anführungszeichen

>>79184586
didn't harry have to die, he still has part of him in him.

Because fuck you

>>79184721
I've come to admire you.

>>79190492
>unicorn blood extents your life but curses you (whatever that means)
>evil wizards don't have unicorn farms

why

>>79184586
>Become invisible
>Apparate to White House
>Isolate and kill random fucker
>Make the entire White House into a Horcrux
>Do the same for the Big Ben
>Do the same for the Eiffel Tower
Your enemies now have to destroy these things to kill you. They wouldn't dare. You win.

accio horcrucks

>>79200688
No. The part of his soul in the book tried to revive itself. This part of soul was different from the one wandering thru the albanian forest that eventually gets bodified in GoF.

Which lends itself to another question. What if the diary soul got bodified and then the albanian soul also got bodified? 2 Voldemorts? Profit?

>>79193923
>>FORGETTUS FUCKUS

If I had 3 wishes...This would become one of them

>>79192603
It's not like killing someone in war. It has to be murder, and you have to avoid feeling any regret for it since the regret would heal your soul again (Pretty sure that was stated as the only way to undo a horcrux)

>inb4 you're some edgy sociopath who wouldn't feel the least bit bad about killing

>>79189501
>Has a device that allows time travel and by extension asserts predestination
>Disregards prophecies and predictions

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>>79199134
>Why didnt he just take a dump and horcrux it before flushing huh???

>>79202856
>implying a horcrux can be "eroded"
did you pay the slightest bit of attention to the story and the fact that horcruxes can't be destroyed except through specific magical means?

>>79203030
"Because!"

>>79194705
Pebbles aren't rocks.

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>>79200019
I'm surprised you would even consider her worthy enough for a "legacy"

>pic related her legacy

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>>79184785
>mfw i study boards cultures and make these

Include 85 percent debatable good material but generally agreed normie
15 percent garbage

Rake in the you's

>>79194421
>Accio buttplug!

>>79198607
Why didn't they try ruling before muggles made guns then? Or even when the first guns came about, which were peashooters compared to the death machines a toddler in America can own. Did not one malicious wizard think "maybe we should stop this before the muggles improve on it"?

>>79184586
I'm not a potter expert but I think point of horocrux is to restore your body after death. That will be hard to do if it's on a ocean floor on in space.

>>79199715
Tell that to Cursed Child, which is canon.