>sitting in movie theater >hear "TSSSST CRACK"

>>79078903
Feel free to open mine

Eat my crab legs in science because I'm to autistic to confront them

>>79078903
Call security. He needs to pay $10 for his small soda like everyone else.

Don't do shit because I know I'm breaking the singles policy and don't want to draw attention to myself

i've been in a similar situation. i'd do the same thing and tell the staff, if they fail to act i'd force them to stop the screening by standing in front of the screen and telling them to shut it off

>I'm that guy

>>79078903
Shout "fire".

>>79078903
>What do you do?
Smile and pass the bucket of KFC to my friend. He is such a dick, it is like he wants us to get caught.

I walk out of the theatre immediately. If security is that poor then clearly the theater isn't safe.

>>79078946
So you're the fucko who keeps spraying buttery crabjuice over me?!?

I fire my emergency flare gun into the air to signal the nearest authority figure to enforce swift justice.

who buys cans? i buy 12 oz bottles and candies from the deli

i once saw 9 blacks come in with entire set of chinese takeout lmao

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>>79078903
Scoff whilst sipping beer from my large novelty hat

Alert the firing squad industry.

>>79078903
if it's a white qt, fill it with my latino semen

if it's a fatass, fill it with my latino shit

>>79079047
>i once saw 9 blacks come in with entire set of chinese takeout lmao
No you didn't

>>79078903
Despatch my falcon to relieve that patron of his can and larynx

>>79078946
>tfw too smart to eat my crab legs in science

>>79079083
>latino into scat
Over the line

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>>79078903
>"TSSSST CRACK"
That is some first class onomatopoeia, OP.

>>79079087
I did my man, i hate chinese food too, so fukk them

ey man pass dem eggrolls

>>79078903
>soda

it's beer

>>79079087
I've seen black families come into the cinema with a fuckton of Mcdonalds senpai, I'm sure most of us have. his story's not really some huge exaggeration

>>79078903
Quietly watch the movie in fear as the theater security beats him with clubs and truncheons.

I know this is what they meant by "Security from freedom", but sometimes I think it was better in the old days. He was just a kid, man. They didn't have to beat him for that.

>>79079087
Yeah blacks dindu nuffin

>>79078903
>can
Laugh at such an amateur as I retrieve the bottle smuggled in my ass

Rat him out to the cinema security and receive 15% off my next ticket purchase and two complimentary shower tokens.

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>go on vacation to the uk
>go to a theater to watch a good flick
>no fucking crab legs, just popcorn and nachos
>whatever, walk into the screening a bit late after inquiring if there was any crab legs in the back
>see singles all over the place
>everyone is sitting and watching the movie in silence, no one is on their phones or laughing like normal people do
>people are quietly eating and drinking contraband outer-food
>go to call security, they say it's ALLOWED
>movie ends
>NO ONE FUCKING CLAPS APART FROM ME
>people laugh at me as they exit the screening for clapping
Never go to the UK. Fucking terrible country with unsafe theaters and shit food.

>>79078903
I walk up and [insert hilarious response here]

>>79079047
How did you count them? Were they all smiling

>>79079224
came here to say this

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>Assuming it was even a soda can and not a tall boy malt liquor.

>Medium cup goes through the cup holder
>large cup can only go about a quarter into the holder so it sticks out and you keep accidentally tapping it.

WHAT THE FUCK

>>79078903
Alert Ushers
/thread

>>79078903
I report them to security, my wife and her boyfriend are trying to enjoy the movie and I didn't stay up all night watching their kid just for their date to be ruined.

>>79079224
[pepe.jpg]
(You)

i hate it when i go to the movies alone because when you pick your Safety Buddy you have to pick a stranger.
I can't be the only one who feels like this...

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>>79078903
>soda
>not sneaking 40s into the theater

Tell my mummy that the bad man broke the rules. Mummy goes to tell the manager and the good guys come and take the bad man away. Mummy rewards me with some milky and a plate of tendies from the candy stand, thank u mummy! me want more milky!

>>79079224
/thread

>>79079260
the stairs have lights so it wasnt pitch black

>>79078903
Crack open my tallboy of ghetto swill quickly after him, relieved that he started it instead of me.

put more foam in my bubble bath and overflow it into the front row

>>79079149
I've been going to theaters my whole life. Even a black theater once. People never bring fast food. They might sneak in candy or a flask. Never a fucking box of Chinese or a sack of cheeseburgers.

Delet this

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>>79079218
no memeing
>go on vacation to the USA with family (New York)
>this was 2005-6, whenever 300 came out
>have the evening free so go see 300 at the theatre
>black gentleman and his companion whoop and holler at the screen throughout the picture
>whole theatre cheers when Leonidas decapitates the giant freak guy
>whole theatre claps at the end
>me and my family all looking at each other like what the fuck

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>>79079260

call 9/11

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>>79079324
>someone actually typed this

>buy overpriced soda
>proceed to pour a flask of booze into it
>acquire cheap cocktail and the theater doesn't bitch because they ripped me off on a soda

>Work at Regal
>No one there cares about outside food except for general manager.
>Frequently find empty liquor bottles.
>Taco Bell wrappers for days.

Seriously no one cares. Our prices just went up, too. Shit is retarded expensive. Even with my 50% employee discount a shitty chicken sandwhich there is $4.50. We even had this nasty as fuck burger for awhile that cost like $18 with tax. Not a soul ordered it.

Honestly as long as you're not brining in 3-course meals no one really gives a shit. At least where i work.

>>79078946
How do I eat in science

>>79079584
holy shit, top tier film experience

>>79079465
>going to see a bloodbath spectacle of a movie
>not expecting the audience to behave like actual plebians at a gladitorial bout
You played yourself friend.

This happened once before

>hear someone open a soda when the trailers start
>loudly say "whoever that was is going to have to answer to the theater employees or me, so admit your mistake or else I'm getting the worker in here"
>hear some guy "relax buddy it's just a soda"
>get up to look for him when he makes a gesture that asks what the hell
>tell him i'm going to get him kicked out
>he gets up and walks past me with his gf asking if i felt like a big man
>he leaves
>doesn't return

I felt pretty good about that exchange

>>79079263
>>79079321

Seeing movies sober is for plebs

I always bring booze to movies

>>79079418
I bring fast food and other garbage all the time, and I'm not even a nigger

>>79079514
Jesus Christ... I haven't seen this set in many years... I been here to long man, we need to go.

>>79078903

run for the panic button

>sitting in movie theater
>literally every other patron is female
>suddenly you hear
>*BRAAAAAAPPPP*
what do you do?

>>79079584
I recently went to Scotland and got a munchy box just to see if they're as good as people say. I couldn't even finish half of the fucking thing. It was so fucking greasy, my heart was racing for hours after eating it.

>>79079701
What the fuck munchy boxes are for groups of people idiot

>>79079637
Shit that never happened

>>79078903
Take the shot.
The designated shooter will just get him if I don't, and I'm not going back to the contraband collaborator mines.
I'm not as young as I was, my backs fucked from carting the anvil ore and I have falcons to provide for.

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>>79079574

>People watch me pour the gallon jug of "Buttery flavored oil" (That's what it says on the jug) into the dispenser.
>They still order it.
>MFW people order popcorn "swimming in butter"

>>79079722
I've seen plenty of people eat one entirely by themselves before, though they've all been fucking hammered.

>>79079655
lol I thought the same brother

its all good

>>79079767
is there a better feeling than eating tons of greasy food while hammered?

>>79079754
>he doesn't love hot salted oil over carbs

>>79079767
Burgerland here. What the fuck is a munchiebox?

>>79078903
I shit in my hand and throw it at this person.

>Movie is about to start
>People are still talking
>The sounds of jovial shh shh shh as we prepare for the movie
>The shh dies down and I wait 3 seconds
>Open my can of soda with a big shhhhhhhhh and everyone in the theater starts laughing

>>79079814
>>79079814
One of the very few culinary masterpieces we're missing out on. Just a bunch of junk food in a pie box.

In denmark I got one with fries, red onions, cheese, kebab meat, ranch and ketchup and fuck was it good. Probably the only thing there that I couldn't get better back home.

>>79079860
screenplay quality to be honest

>>79079087
well something had to be carrying the floating boxes of chinese food

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>>79079787
There isn't man. There's nothing better than inviting mates around to match some films while drinking lager, spirits and eating disgustingly unhealthy greasy food.

>>79079814
The best food Scotland has to offer. A huge pizza box pilled to the brim with pizza, donner meat, fried chicken, onion rings, chips (fries for Burgerland) and all with sauces of your choice. It's perfect food for when you're drunk or have a hangover.

>>79078946
I want to eat in science..

>>79079654
How don't the employees fuck with you Mr. Pants-on-fire?

>>79079952
Looks pretty nice, but can you get them any bigger?

>>79079952
How do you eat when hungover

>>79080023
Yes, you can get them in different sizes.

>>79079465
300 is pretty stylish. even someone as emotionless as me might gasp at some of the things in 300 if I could rewatch it for the first time again.

>>79080046
In a semi-comatose state.

>>79079952
missing the buckfast to go with the box there m8

>>79079392
I hate people like you.

me and a friend went to the kinos with a group of like 6 niggers from the neighborhood, 6'3 built guys, they literally brought one of those electric cooking pots into the theater, pulled an extension cord from the hallway and made chicken rice right in the middle of the movie

it was a small theater right in the street, still, neither manager or the ticket kid dared blabbing anything, they probably pissed themselves at the possible chimpout

>>79080103
and a couple cans of irn bru

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>>79078903

I go to Tescos beforehand and literally buy a fuckload of shit before going to the cinema.

Usually a sandwich, drink, crisps, chocolate, sweets, all that

Often beer as well. Beer is great

Stay mad

I use a backpack if you're wondering, but even when taking stuff in a plastic bag I've never been stopped.

>>79078903
BEST THEATER PRANKS GO
>someone coughs
>shush them

>>79080001
Are you 12? What the fuck are they going to do? Start a mess because a guy is bringing fast food into the theater? Do you seriously think they actually enforce that "rule"? They have no basis, food size doesn't mean anything, a bag of fast food is about the size of a popcorn one, and if the issue is food from outside, then they would have to bitch about anyone bringing candy and other garbage.

Either way, I can't believe you have ever been to the kinéma before, in the big chains people couldn't care less about what the fuck you're doing as long as you don't cause a mess. The guys working there are soulless.

>>79079787
Eating tons of greasy food when hungover?

>>79079042
elohel

>>79080181
I think the "cinema staff kicking you out for sneaking in snacks and drinks" is an American thing. I go to my cinema regularly (at least a few times a month) and bring in a plastic bag from Sainsburys with a can of Appletiser and a pack of Haribo and nobody gives a shit.

>>79079787
Not being an alcoholic

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what's the longest sentence you've served in your theater gulag?

Did 5 years for going single without applying for a voucher beforehand

What the fuck are all you bongs still doing up?

>>79080292
Step off your high horse princess

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>>79078903
I went to see The Wrestler with a girl who brought beers. We tried to open them in the theater and realized that they weren't, in fact, the screw top kind. So we awkwardly had to fumble around with this shitty bottle opener in the dark for like five minutes while making obnoxious clinging noises.

Movie was good though.

>>79080312
I'm at work doing the graveyard shift.

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>>79078903
Do the same thing I always do when some fucking puke doesn't want to follow the rules.

> give them The Stare
> lift my shirt
> point to my piece
> watch as they piss themselves and apologize

>>79080305
>Still locked up for releasing the bulls from the cuck pen and letting them run loose through the theaters.

I'd do it again!

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>>79078903
>soda
i like bringing beer into the movies

>>79080328
Alcoholic detected

>>79080466
Neet detected

>>79078903
unzip dick walk dinosaur line up for penis inspection day with my big guy for you 360 degrees and walk away

>>79080263
Yeah I think you're right. I've never tried taking in LOADS of stuff visibly - as I say I usually have a backpack

But I'm sure I've seen other people take noticeable amounts of stuff in too

>>79079047
>saw blacks
>in a dark theater
Nice try anon.

>>79079655
>>79079784
Yeeee boi
imgur.com/a/ovvJo

>>79078946
>Eat my crab legs in science
This is going on /reddit/ isn't it?

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>>79080312

I don't have a job

Oh yeah it's Friday night anyway - I lose track of days, because I don't have a job

>>79080588
>Nice try anon.
i heard them first, better?

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>>79079260

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>>79078968

>>79079418
Went to the Star wars episode 3 midnight, fat dude "whispers" to his fat friend "I have cheeseburgers in my pockets"

Don't doubt the power of America.

>>79080736
no way

>>79080263
>cinema staff kicking you out for sneaking in snacks and drinks" is an American thing
It's a made up thing.
t. Amerilard

>>79079087
There's a Chipotle near my theater. I sometimes bring a burrito and finish it before the movie starts

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>>79078903

>Whipout Pandra Express 4 item box from secret pocket of trenchcoat
>Open food box with left hand, while unsheathing titanium chopsticks mom got for me for christmas with my right
>By now the aroma of the orange chicken is hitting everyone.
>Everyone is hating on me for thinking of this great idea
>Continue watching Frozen Sing-A-Long in peace despite the stares from hungry kids.

I don't care since in my free country you can bring your own snacks.

>>79080186

I work at a theatre (big chain one). You're correct about us not giving a fuck.

But we had one kid who used to work ticket taker who would call people out on it and confiscate their food/make them throw it out. He would then eat the food himself. He would store it inside the little ticket drop counter thing and eat it between customers coming up. It was repulsive.

>>79081168
Jesus Christ

>>79081168
How obese was he?

>>79081234

Oh fuck. I typed that up way too quickly and forgot the anecdote within the anecdote.

One time, I was standing at the counter next to the ticket taker station, and he legit sniffed fast food out that was hidden in someone's purse. As in, he legitimately called a woman and her boyfriend out on sneaking Wendy's into the movie by smelling it and asking if they had food they were trying to sneak in. Probably out of sheer surprise, they fessed up and threw it out. He immediately retrieved the bag from the garbage and ate it on his break.

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>being a theatre kuk to begin with

>>79080589
If I open this are the cops gonna van me

>>79079637
CIA pls

>>79078903
My friend and I would come in with a 30 case from White Castle for an opening show time, and stay in the theater the entire day.
We kept a case of beer on ice in the car, and take turns going out to get cold ones.
We would stay inside the theater for 3 or 4 showings, and stay buzzed the entire time.
Theater did not give a fuck.

>>79081333
Bad ass

>>79079644
For whatever reason, I hate looking at a TV or computer screen when I'm drunk so I never like to mix it with booze. Gives me a headache. Now Weed on the other hand enhances my screen watching experience.

>>79080340
fuck (you)

>it's a drunken belligerent retard ruins the movie and makes the theater smell like alcohol episode

wew

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I just go to Studio Movie Grill.

They serve restaurant priced booze, drinks, and food. It's not as expensive for what you get compared to a normal concession stand. There is a button you press for service. It might not be the ideal scenario for a quiet super focused movie experience, but it's good for 99% of the movies you just want to relax and get your grub on during.

>>79078903
It's usually beer from what I've seen

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>>79078903
I go and pull the fire alarm whenever this happens. I have allergies and if some faggot blows peanut dust into the air I'm literally going to die. I've had to do it 6 times in the last few years. FOLLOW THE GOD DAMNED RULES.

>>79079218
>visit UK kinoplex
>no metal detectors or theater safety authority

its like they're asking for a shooting

>>79081988
s..sorry

>>79082111
I've never once seen a metal detector in a theater, even at theaters in bad parts of town

>>79082030
A
M
E
R
I
C
A

>>79079013
How does it feel being a loser?

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>>79082574
I have a feeling he doesn't need to tell you, bud.

>>79079898
Underrato commento

>>79078903
>soda can

right...

>>79080593
it came from there and then it goes back

it's the circle of life

>>79079965
I want to eat out science

>>79078903
crumple it up and throw it in the face of the theater manager when I leave shouting HAHA GAMED YOUR SYSTEM

>>79078903
It's probably just me opening my beer

ITT: faggots post fiction about taking food into the cinema.

Just buy the fucking popcorn and sodas, you plebs. All that other shit is unnecessary.

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>>79080589

Holmes is "dressed head-to-toe in protective gear"- a ballistic helmet, protective gear for his legs, throat and groin, black gloves and a gas mask. He props open the door, before throwing two tear gas canisters into the theater. After both canisters explode, witnesses say he started shooting, first at the ceiling and then at the crowd. Police say he used an AR-15 rifle, a 12-gauge shotgun and at least one of two .40-caliber handguns police recovered at the scene.
Twelve people are killed and 70 are wounded.
Holmes surrenders to police outside the theater within seven minutes of the first 911 calls, according to Aurora Police Chief Daniel Oates.
Five buildings, including Holmes' apartment building at 1690 Paris St., are evacuated after the suspect makes a statement to police about explosives in his unit. According to police, his apartment has been booby trapped with a tripwire at the front door that would have touched off an array of explosives and flammable liquids.

>>79082084
cucks with peanut allergies deserve to die desu

>>79082084
>peanut dust into the air
Why do peanut cucks have to exaggerate their allergy for attention? I've been sneaking powdered peanut butter (pb2) into the theater since they discontinued white cheddar for my popcorn and none of you faggots have dropped dead yet.

>>79084390
this. it's called natural selection.

>>79079898
holy shit that's great

>>79084479
>I've been sneaking powdered peanut butter (pb2)

this niggas got his own private space peanut butter hidden in his trenchcoat

>>79079418

As a movie theater wageslave Ive found plenty of fast food in theaters. People def sneak in food. I've found Indian take out from around the corner once.

>>79079694
Sniff

>>79078903
fuck his boy pussy

>>79079574
>Honestly as long as you're not bringing in 3-course meals no one really gives a shit.
"Land of the free". This is such fucking bullshit.
Elect ron paul

>>79078903
Alert the theater police acadamy

>Be Australian
>Go to the food court and obtain a meal's worth of food
>Bring it into the kinotorium with me
>Nobody cares
As long as it's not loud you can bring pretty much whatever you want in a civilised society

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>soda

is everyone on /tv/ 13 years old? if you hear that sound in a theatre and turn around to see me? It's an ice cold bear

>>79087273
Your kinoplex has bears for ushers? That's new.

>>79079087
you ever see a she-boons purse?

it's literally a designated theft bag

>>79078903
>>79078903
Everyone smuggles drinks, candy, and liquor into the theater. When it's 5 bucks a drink or a candy is the norm, that's just what you do.

I've actually heard that most theatres don't make a cent on the tickets themselves, those just cover the reels that are quite expensive (for copyright reasons) by themselves. Concessions are where they make their profit, that's why the mark up is so bad. Also, the fact that no one really buys them much anymore makes them get marked up even more....

But you'd be a fool to pay 20 bucks for you and your woman's drinks/snacks during the movie.

Only thing I occasionally splurge on is a bucket of popcorn (kind of hard to smuggle that in).

>friend sneaks in a box of Goobers without my knowledge
>lights dim and movie previews start
>he fumbles goobers out of his pocket startling the entire row
>they all activate their personal theater blinds and can no longer see or hear us
>he sucks me off with goobers stuck to his teeth before the movie starts
>they turn into Sno-caps

>>79087273
>nati ice

No apparently everyone here is broke ass college kids.

>>79079013
Uh, you don't get to bring friends

>>79087633
What if my friend is a falcon?

>>79078946
>tfw to dumb too eat in science

Get pissed

>>79078903

i don't remember seeing a rule against bringing outside food in our movie theatres and i've been bringing outside food many times and i think others do that also and nobody in the staff comments on it. i usually buy food from the food counter near the entrance because it's convenient and a hassle to go down to the grocery to buy them. i only buy from other places if i'm in the mood for something different like pizza or a flame-grilled burger.

the mall owns the movie theatre so i guess they don't want to ban food from their tenants and make their tenants angry.

>>79080340
why would I care if my daughters use coal? Fuck off you fucking libtart

>>79078903
call them a cuck and start proselytizing for donald trump

>>79080352

lol i didn't notice the gun until i read "piece" and wondered why you would call your abs piece.

>>79080340
Fuck (you)

>>79079087
I'm black and I sneak in food when I hit up the kinoseum.
Went to see Compton back in 2015 with my Asian friends, and we snuck in subway, but one kid dropped his sub after passing ticket guy and we got kicked out baka.
I've never brought in Chinese takeout, worst was some mcnuggets and fries. I have witnessed some individuals whip out pho and oyster once.

>>79079465
I'm black and can testify this happened. Went with some friends from boy scouts. They were the typical rich kids, never really met black people besides me and my family.
We go to 300 at the only theatre with tickets. (It was 2005 Gerard Butler).
Anyways, throughout the movie, random black dudes are whooping and hollering. The well scene comes and the theater breaks into pandemonium with cries of "GODDAM YOU SEE THAT SHIT NIGGA".
My Caucasian friends were having the time of their life and dabbing the nearby negros. It was a great night

>>79078903
shit your pants so they have to deal with that stench of punishment for their unforgivable crime.

Alt: wait til he leaves seat to go shit in the urinal, bust a juicy load in his drink and drink all of it so when he comes back hes all like wtf? lol while you trollfave like the rusemster you are

>>79088684
>dabbing the nearby negros

what's dabbing?

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>>79088591
>>79088684

>>79078903
nothing. I always bring my own drinks

>>79080263
>bring in a plastic bag from Sainsburys with a can of Appletiser and a pack of Haribo
Translation?

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>>79082084
I haven't laughed like this in a while
Thank you

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>>79088733
Where is your god now?
>>79088731
It's like the ghetto high 5 thing, where they slap hands interlock fingers briefly
Kind of like this (1:34)
https://youtu.be/1dTQSON9dSk

>>79078946
>Eat my crab legs in science

>>79078903
i call the soda police
hopefully kick him in the dick

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>>79088684
>Anyways, throughout the movie, random black dudes are whooping and hollering.

Black people seem to do this in just about any situation. When I was 17-18 me and my friends went to a taco bell really late at night when we were drunk and stoned as shit. There was a black guy running the counter and probably 3-4 other black guys in the back. I had a 20 dollar bill and was high as fuck and really hungry, so I stepped up to the counter and ordered 20 soft tacos. The guy looks at me and a smirks, then yells back to his friends "THESE NIGGAS HIGH YALL, THIS NIGGA WANT 20 SOFT TACOS" almost exactly like this rage comic from a few years ago. The people in the back came out to the front and started whooping and hollering shit like "THESE PASTY BOYS HIGH AS FUCK GIVE THESE NIGGAS SOME TACOS". The next things I remember one of the guys from the back was now in the front area showing my friend how to do some kind of crazy rap dance with his feet while the other black guys played rap music on their phones and continued to whoop and holler. We eventually got a random bag with way more food than we ordered and when we finally started to leave one of my friends realized we didn't have any drinks, so the black guy that was showing my friend that rap dance reaches behind the counter and grabs right around 10 of the biggest plastic cups they had and just handed them to us and we filled up all the ones we could carry with soda and left. I don't actually think we ended up paying for anything that night, but honestly I don't remember.

It's probably the only positive encounter between a group of nerdy white highschoolers and ghetto black people that's ever happened, but it was fun as shit. It pretty similar to pic related but it was a positive experience

>>79089307
So do you have herpes now?

>>79089346
I honestly don't even remember if I ate any of the food because we saw a crazy looking UFO right after we left and got side tracked by it. It was a weird night.

>>79089447
>crazy looking UFO

so you've seen UFOs that are not crazy looking?

>>79079121
the "CRACK" is shit. should be something like "CHHK"

>>79089476
It was really low to the ground, maybe 200 feet or so, and made no noise. It was triangle shaped and I remember it having a single green light bar that went up through the middle of it. It passed in front of us as we turned on the road to go back to my friends house, and I remember sticking my head out the window to see it and it having a barely visible solid body to it. We tried to follow it but my friend ran his shitty Subaru into a muddy ditch when he tried to turn it around. We were freaking out thinking it was going to come back and attack us while we were out getting his car unstuck. It was really fucking weird.

>>79078946
2 words: hella f*cking epic

>>79078946
can't spell

>>79089612
can't count

both: ignorant cretins

>>79089590
Nigger you saw a fucking traffic light lmao

>>79089713
>both: ignorant cretins
for you

>>79089955

yes, intellectual inferiors are cretins for me. thank you.

lol you don't know how to use foryou, newfag

>>79089307
Sounds fun. I honestly feel for fast food workers doing that late night shift.

I bring in a McDouble somtimes if I haven't had a chance to eat and know I'll be hungry during the movie.

this thread captures everything wrong with /tv/.
Kill yourselves you losers.

>>79078903
Call the police.

>>79078982
Underrated

>>79080340
reported :^)

>>79078903
>outside contraband soda can
This is how you know you're on a board with children.

>>79088591
>>79088684
>ywn watch a dumb movie with a black audience
Fml

>>79078903
Think nothing of it

t. Britfag

>>79091524
how do you feel during the mandatoy muslim prayer time?

If I'm going to a late show I'll bring a six-pack.

£6 for a tiny bottle of beer in a movie theatre? Fuck outta here!

>>79091700
leave, newfag

>>79087273
brown, black or grizzly?

>>79079584
what the fuck is wrong with britain
that's even worse than burgerland

>>79078903
I act like I don't care but secretly press the silent alarm

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>>79091798
no

>>79078946
Eat your nachos in Engineering, drink your soda kn Command

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>>79086421
>Theater Police Academy? That'd sell like hotcakes! Get me---
>I've already filmed all my parts, sir.

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>>79090018
>lol you don't know how to use foryou, newfag

>sitting in movie theater
>hear "ahhhhhhhhhh" *slurp slurp gobble*
>you know someone is getting blown by their gf and you bought a singles ticket
What do you do?

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>decide to go to my local drive-in theater
>get into my beater with my waifu
>she's a dakimakura, but it's dark, so maybe nobody notices
>put a whistle over my exhaust so it sounds like I have a turbo
>finally arrive at the booth, ask for a couples ticket
>"Nice muscle car sir, you can't imagine what people try to sneak in nowadays"
>reply "Haha, thanks" and step on the pedal, my exhaust whistling merrily
>nearly crash into the guy in front of me, slam the breaks
>he gets out of the car swearing profusely, it's a huge jock with a baseball bat
>quickly drive off, sweating profusely, to the shadiest corner I could find
>park, look at the drifting competition going in front of the screen, wait for the commercials to start
>fall asleep because it's the middle of the night, be woken up by gunshots

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>>79092517
>turns out it was just customary shots at the beginning of the movie, I haven't missed anything
>watch the movie for some time, get bored
>notice that people around me are all making out, get anxious
>thankfully my dakimakura has a built in fleshlight
>grab her, unzip my penis, and start going to town
>as I'm about to cum, suddenly the door to my car opens and I'm forcefully pulled out
>turns out it's the jock I bumped into earlier, his buddies are holding me and I can't escape
>"well, well who do we have here? I've been looking for you"
>reply that I don't know who he is
>"Bad memory you've got there friend, maybe your gf will remember, eh?" his buddies start laughing
>start screaming rape, they punch me and silence me, jock gets into the car
>"You need a real man, like me - not a wimp like that guy, gir... what the fuck is this?"
>He gets out with my dakimakura, it's the worst moment of my life, drop lifelessly to the ground and start crying
>They start kicking me, they torch my car with my waifu in it, get stabbed
>by some miracle crawl to the nearest hospital and get patched up
>no insurance, so a 500 000$ bill for 10 stitches, my life is ruined forever

>>79078903
Is this really a thing in US cinemas? I'm in New Zealand and always take in outside drinks with no problems.

What is that taboo in America or some shit?

In England it's almost weird not to bring your own stuff, in my experience.

>>79092517
>>79092541

Average evening for an americlap

>>79092650
To clarify it is against the rules, but no one gives a fuck.

>>79092650
>>79092676
It's normal, this is a meme thread.

In fact I once saw a guy walk in with a 16" pizza and nobody said shit.

>>79079952
>lets throw the fries into the salad!

>>79078903
contraband? Did you know that if you pass the Penis inspection (both the physical examination and the written essay) with flying colours you can bring in all the food you want?

>>79094170
>never heard of the salade de francias

that's why they're called "french fries", learn your history sempai

>>79078903
You're supposed to open your contraband can so he hears it, then he opens another one of his, and you go back and forth until one of you runs out of cans to crack open. The loser gives his sodas to the winner and leaves the theater.

It's called a sodie-pop.

>>79079952
that's fucking disgusting

>>79079218
>they say it's ALLOWED
I have lived in London my entire life and have never been in an actual cinema which lets you bring in food you didn't buy there.

There might have been some weird arty cinemas that do, but no ACTUAL ones

>>79079952
Doner meat is the worst fucking shit

>>79094327
>London

there's your problem, muhammad

>>79078946
>Crab legs
>Not bringing in a whole pizza

>>79094327
I live in London and every cinema I've ever gone to hasn't given a shit.

>>79078903
call the janitor

>>79078903

I did this once with beer. Then I got drunk and kinda threw all the cans all over the place.

Security escorted me out, boxed me in until the cops arrived. Got hardcore searched by a hot female cop, she grabbed muh dick and everything. She then sat me down and berated me for like 20 minutes, it was arousing af

>sneak food in
>previews still running but food already eaten

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>>79084191
>>79079514
>>79079655
whats the story behind this?

>>79094455
>pay to see movie
>has to watch commercials

ok

>>79079087
you clearly don't understand nigger's intimidation

>>79094500
wait you have no commercials in your theaters?

>>79078903
>>you know somebody opened an outside contraband soda can

sheltered white boy confirmed.

you talk like you've never been to a movie with a black guy before.

>>79079087
>>i once saw 9 blacks come in with entire set of chinese takeout lmao

We usually see niggers in line with McDonalds bags & shit.

Security too scared to do shit cuz the niggers will yell RACISM at the top of their lungs & cause a fucking scene.

>>79079418
One time me and my friend brought in bags of McDonald's and even drinks. The ticket ripper didn't care. I think it was a one time thing though

>>79087660
Falcons are tools, not friends.

Now if your friend is your mom, it's cool.

>>79079260
not bad

>>79078903
just bring a bottle ffs, they sell bottles in the theatre anyway.

>>79078946
Include me in the screen cap, lads

>>79094523
I do not go to them as I prefer the comforts of my own home.

>have to actually go to the cinema
>has to pay to actually see the movies and for the "food"
>poor selection of "food"
>other people
>commercials
>can't pause, rewind, adjust volume to your own liking
>have to show up early or you might get a bad seat
>toilets may have piss all over them
>

>>79094740
fuck off, reddit

>Tfw mandatory pre-show vaccine gave me autism

>>79094758
oh yeah, I bet your "home cinema" experience is much better

>download shitty YIFY camrip
>have to wait hours before it's finished
>microwave walmart popcorn and last week's tendies
>turns out it's in russian so you download something else
>tendies get cold but at least you have it in english now
>shitty "720p", but you're watching on your laptop so who cares
>audio is 64kpbs mono, but tiny speakers so who cares
>open up your VLC and press play

yeah, much better

>>79094816
No, it only amplified it

Nothing as I'm too busy eating the kebab, chocolate bar and cherry Coke that I smuggled in using my many pocketed winter coat.

>penis inspection
>they point and laugh at my uncircumcised member
>local rabbi circumcises me on the spot
>pass out from blood loss halfway through the movie

>>79080736
Something similar happened to me
When i was at the theatre these fat blacks came in and one of them had a big bag of mcdonalds in his coat

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>buy ticket
>go towards screen
>there isnt anyone to check my ticket
>go in anyway without my ticket being torn

>>79080212
If you can keep food down you're not hungover.

>>79095173
that's just being drunk

looks like somebody's never been hangover

>>79095022
holy shit I hate watching movies while suffering from blood loss.. the other time I was separated from my friends because I needed to go to the theatre showers, a patrol caught me believing I was a single who sneaked in and shot me.... my friend arrived to clarify the misunderstanding but to go out of the theater I had to take the oral exam on the movie 's plot , and outside ambulances were not allowed in because I didn't score a 85/100 minimum at the penis inspection test.

So I watched the movie while bleeding out and it fucking sucked

>>79094357
You watch your fucking mouth cunt

Proceed to eat my smuggled in quarter pounder.

I work at a movie theater AMA

>>79096134
It's the absolute worst, you plonker.

>>79096507
What do you do?

What are the crab legs like?

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>>79089612
>>79089713
>>79078946
Wow... trolling really is a art

I'm perfectly happy to pay for a soda at the theater.

The problem is, I'm a Pepsi man, and most of them have Coke.

>>79096507
PICK IT UP

>>79082030
it's too bright

>>79096507
I worked in one for a time. I sincerely hope you get out sooner rather than later, anon.

>>79078961
>Small soda $5.95
>Bottle of beer $3.50
Are they trying to get me to go on a drinking spree?

I've wondered in the past if a buffet would work at a theater.

Not a full on Golden Corral buffet, but candy, popcorn, maybe cheap hot dogs, that sort of thing. Charge 'em $10-12, let them load up on smaller portions of multiple things instead of large portions of fewer things, still get more bang for their buck due to the bulk, etc.

I feel like more people would be willing to do this than spend $5 on a big box of a single candy.

>>79096668
>I'm a semen man

Ftfy

>>79096668
/>Pepsi Max fan
>If I ever go to a place where they serve it, it always comes flat

My theater offers a discount called "see something, save something" if we report untheaterlike behavior. It keeps everyone in line and focused directly on the screen. You do have people trying to abuse it, like asking to help find something they dropped and then reporting you for horseplay. It's pretty amazing what people will do for free frozen cokes. I have the rule book somewhere in my apartment

>>79078946
confirmed for crab eating autist

>>79078946
Good job

>>79096717
It's only bright with lights on before the movie starts - they take most the orders and give the most food service during previews and before the movies.

When it starts, they turn off most he lights and you have a small little lights around your table. It's not bad.

>>79096869
That's pretty shitty. However, I guess they have to get people to care somehow. Let the niggers just report each other for a free icee.

>>79097441
OK, makes sense.

probably not for every movie, but seems fitting for most

>>79078903
>soda
I do that every time with beer pussy. What are you gonna do about it?

>>79094584
>We usually see niggers in line with McDonalds bags & shit.
>Security too scared to do shit cuz the niggers will yell RACISM at the top of their lungs & cause a fucking scene.

kek

I'm mexican, and I do that shit. Nothing funnier watching a white faggot cower and stutter when you call em a racist.

Lol. Fucking sheltered white kids.

If a fucking soda in the theater bothers you, then don't bother coming to a movie if you live in Memphis.

Niggas is brining full on buffets to a theater.

>>79078903
pull my gun out and perform a citizens arrest. i will be paraded around the town as a hero

>>79080466
>not getting drunk 6/7 days of the week

>>79096747
Please tell your stories

I don't get the idea of watching a film with 40 strangers who make noise the whole time

Just pirate it and watch it at home

>>79096602
I do mainly concessions and sadly we don't have crab legs.

>>79096678
Okay senpai

buddy works at a kinopit and told me some of the shit they have to put up with
>tard smears shit all over the disables toilet seat and walls
>cumstains on seats
>an entire curry on the dumped on the floor
people are animals

>>79098106
How old are you?

Why are you working at a kinoplex?

>>79098062
You pay for the screen.

>>79079898
lol

>>79098434
>You pay for the screen.
and 11-channel sound with massive sub

tap him on the shoulder and tell him I'll give him £1 if I can have one too
Still cheaper than paying £5 at the box office

Me and a friend ruined Age of Ultron for everyone because they let us take a bottle of vodka in with us. Sorry not sorry.

The film is shit anyway, if anything hearing us getting drunk improved the experience for people

>>79098374
PICK

>>79098374
IT

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>>79079701
I could eat one of those by myself easily

>>79078903
>soda
...Yeah, it's "soda."

>>79098374
UP

>>79079654

but you act like a nigger. congrats

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>>79090887
for me it's the McChicken, the best fast food sandwich

>>79078946
I want to be in the screencap my mens

>>79079584
Man that looks fucking choice, where do you get this shit?

>>79096647
>a art
>a

an*

>>79098374
>an entire curry on the dumped on the floor
>curry on the dumped on the floor

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>people moaning about munchieboxes

They're called munchieboxes for a reason. Here is a slightly more upmarket one from the African Colony known as Amerika.

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>>79099945
...uh oh!

>>79100100
At least most our niggers are Christians and not a bunch of mudslimes. Fuck off back to EUistan.

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>>79078903
>request theater's private military company
>have him/her executed for violation of no foreign foods in movie theaters rule.
>continue watching movie.

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>>79100166