>How much equity are you offering? >How much have you sold

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>"As a young child I saw my Mother relentlessly beaten by my Father. I can still recall hearing her muffled screams through the walls of my bedroom as I lay trying to fall asleep. Some nights were worse than others, but I remember the mornings my Grandmother would take me to school because my Mother couldn’t be seen in public. She would wear sunglasses and long sleeve shirts for weeks while the bruising and swelling slowly healed around her eyes and arms. I never understood how something as simple as an overcooked meal or spilt glass of wine in the living room could send my Father into these inexplicable fits of rage; not until this very moment. Not until I saw your presentation. You are the stain on my fathers Afghan rug and I see no club soda nor salt to scrub you away. For an investment of 250,000 dollars I will retain 92% of your company with a lifetime of royalties and if you even for one second glance in Lori’s direction, I will personally crucify each of your children."

>>79075343
Mark Cuban has more money then the other three sharks combined

>>79075647
He's the only one I'd do a deal with

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>>79075647
>around $40 mil networth
>tfw Barbara is soon gonna be replaced by one of the business pitches

>>79075647
His anti-trump stance triggers me.

someone post the "i just want a friend" one

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>>79075343
>"I'll give you exactly what you're asking for, but in exchange I want you to talk me out of committing suicide whenever I get really depressed"

>you do all the work
>I give you some money
>I own everything

Fuck these sharks.

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>>79075343
>Now that Robert has ceased his pathetic mewling for attention, listen to this offer. For an investment of $1 million and a simple $3 royalty on every item sold, I will transform your weak, pink flesh into an armored juggernaut of cruelty and destuction. The wealth and power of whole nations will be enslaved to your will, and the blood and tears of whole peoples shall sustain your growing power. I will teach you the first 17 Keys of Solomon in return for an additional 15% equity, to be negotiated when your will has been shackled to my own and you have lost your mortal weaknesses of morality and ethics. Additionally, whatever fetid bloodline springs from your loins shall be soulbound into my service from birth to death. The deal is off if your heartbeat shifts by more than 5 beats per minute when I finish speaking or you fail to abandon your faith in God this very second.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfLNZwcpcTE
What's some essential shark kino?

Remember that episode where a veterinarian brought in the cure for cancer?

That shit still puzzles me to this day

>>79075867
Heh.

>>79075841
Get out, commie.

>>79075958
But he only wanted to use it on dogs kek

>>79075400

and so it begins bahahahahahaha

>>79075867
give me more

>>79075896
he sounds like h jon benjamin

>>79075896
Bulletball

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOOw2yWMSfk

>>79075958
>>79076389
what?!
link? explanation?
i'm always impressed whenever supposed nutjobs claim to have a cure for cancer (or a new sustainable energy source) because it seems like it should be so very easy to prove/disprove

>>79076605
this is actually used nowadays to help elders or retards regain or keep their physical abilities.

>>79076644
I couldn't find a video, but it's called Cornucopia Express.

Here's a link to a write up on it, not very descriptive but the comments are funny


http://sharktankblog.com/shark-tank-sends-pet-food-doctor-packing/

>>79076821
lel, he did an interview with this guy to promote his product
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Trudeau
>In the early 1990s, Trudeau was convicted of larceny and credit card fraud. In 1998, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) accused him of grossly misrepresenting the contents of his book, The Weight-Loss Cure "They" Don't Want You to Know About. In a 2004 settlement, he agreed to pay a $500,000 fine and cease marketing all products except his books, which are protected under the First Amendment.[1] In 2011, he was fined $37.6 million for violating the 2004 settlement, and ordered to post a $2 million bond before engaging in any future infomercial advertising.[2][3][4] In 2013, facing further prosecution for violations of the 2011 agreement and non-payment of the $37-million judgment, Trudeau filed for bankruptcy protection.[5] His claims of insolvency were challenged by FTC lawyers, who maintained that he was hiding money in shell companies, and cited examples of continued lavish spending, such as $359 for a haircut.[6]

>In November 2013, Trudeau was convicted of criminal contempt,[7][8] and is currently serving a 10-year sentence at a Federal Prison Camp in Alabama.[9] Nevertheless, infomercials starring Trudeau and promoting his books—under the auspices of a private California corporation of undisclosed ownership—continue to air regularly on US television stations.[10]

People are amazing

>>79075896
We really boring cyberpunk now.

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More O'Leary posts.

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>During the Protestant Reformation, the Peace of St. Germain put to an end a three years civil war amongst the Protestants and Catholics of France. The King's sister, Margaret, a Catholic was set to marry Henry of Navarre, a Protestant. However, before the wedding occurred, there was a gathering in Paris at the King's estate where Henry's Protestant nobles came in preparation for the wedding. The King of France was very suspicious of the Protestant nobles, having just fought a long bloody war, were nervous about where things stood. Then shortly after the wedding took place, Protestant forces had made advances on Catholic strongholds in what today is considered Belgium and the Netherlands. Afraid of a losing peace, the Catholic nobles slaughtered the Protestant nobles who were guests of the King. The most prominent Protestant, Admiral de Coligny, was dragged from his bed, killed and his body thrown out of a window. The King ordered his troops to go into town and secure it from a Protestant uprising. Troops and townspeople took the opportunity to butcher Protestants in the streets, trap them inside their homes to be burned alive, and their bodies thrown into the Seine. Many debts were settled. When it was over, the King announced a jubilee celebration in honor of putting down an uprising. What I'm saying, is that when it comes to business, you need to be willing to slit the throats of anyone who is a risk to you. Frankly I don't think you have it in you. While I like your idea of a spray paint for dogs, you don't have the killer attitude I'm looking for. For that reason, I'm out.

>>79075343
>it's a "Jews bring in an idea that is a pyramid scheme VC exploitation scam" episode
>it's a "Daymond invests in a shitty black business" episode
>it's a "Robert pretends to be interested to be nice when the idea is really shitty" episode
>it's a "Mr. Wonderful demands an unsustainable royalty deal so that he can bankrupt a business and still profit" episode
>it's a "Barbara calls everyone a faggot on Reddit" episode
>it's a "Cubes pretends he succeeded in business because he's smart and not because of Jewish nepotism" episode
>it's a "Laurie immediately goes out because she doesn't understand the product" episode
>it's a "Ashton Kutcher pretends to know anything about business" episode
>it's a "Chris Socca is so inspired by Hillary Clinton that his 8 year old daughter starts programming and investing in Loliware simultaneously episode"
Great show tbqh. I like it a lot more than the Canadian version.

>>79077215
wait.....Ashton Kutcher shows up on that show now?

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If I was trying to start a business I would probably begin by moving out of Canada.

>>79077268
He was a guest shark for a few episodes.

>>79075829
>"I'll counter Robert's offer with less money but I want a higher % and 25 cents per dollar you make in royalties in perpetuity"
>"sorry Robert but I'm going to have to go with Kevin on this one"

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>>79076932
>Federal Trade Commission (FTC) accused him of grossly misrepresenting the contents of his book, The Weight-Loss Cure "They" Don't Want You to Know About
god damn jews keeping a good hard working man down

>>79075958
Or the guy whose product was a tornado that created diamonds in the middle of the ocean or some shit.

>>79077524
oh fuck i remember this
anyone recall what it was called? i need to watch the pitch again, that shit was gold

>>79075896
The guy that wanted to create a machine that forms tornados in the ocean to siphon gold from the sea floor.

>>79077686
Fuck I remember that guy. He was the inventor of the artificial heart right? Too bad he didn't get a deal, I was......... heartbroken....

>that ultrakike O'Leary is about to become the prime minister of canada

>>79077215
>it's a Laurie immediately goes out because she doesn't understand the product episode
This, for fuck's sake, it's like they made it a meme on purpose.

>>79077832
>He was the inventor of the artificial heart
I think the inventor of the artificial heart was a soviet on the 1930s.

>>79076932
>In 2004, Trudeau self-published his book Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You to Know About, in which he made a number of unsubstantiated claims—for example, that sunlight does not cause cancer, sunscreen is one of the major causes of skin cancer, and AIDS was a hoax devised as an excuse to stimulate medication usage.[23] Trudeau further suggested—again without documentation—that various "natural cures" for serious illnesses, including cancer, herpes, arthritis, AIDS, acid reflux disease, various phobias, depression, obesity, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, lupus, chronic fatigue syndrome, attention deficit disorder, and muscular dystrophy, had been deliberately hidden from the public by the Food and Drug Administration, the Federal Trade Commission, and the major food and drug companies.[24] In one widely quoted example, he asserted that the University of Calgary had developed a "natural" diabetes treatment, then quashed its data, fearing reprisals from the pharmaceutical industry.[23] (A spokesman for the school told ABC News that "there have been no human studies conducted at the University of Calgary in the past 20 years on herbal remedies for diabetes." The university later sent Trudeau a "cease and desist" letter, ordering him to stop using its name.[25]) Rose Shapiro cited Natural Cures as a prime example in her book, Suckers: How Alternative Medicine Makes Fools of Us All.[19]

Shame on them, trying to silence anyone that's not big pharma

>>79077564
The Sullivan Generator?